by Lili Zander
I can play the game. Truth or dare. I can tell them everything I heard. I can listen to what they have to say.
Except I can’t.
Things are getting better. They told me last night that they love me. Is there any point dwelling on what happened in the past? Belfox and Herrix are gone; Lud and Xan are here. Maybe I should focus on that instead. Live for the present.
I can’t seem to do that either. It’s like there’s a deep pit of despair in my soul, and anything can still push me into it.
Two days go by. My mates are gone from dawn to dusk, transporting the exiles and their possessions to the main camp. When they return, they fall into bed, exhausted. I feel really bad about how tired they are, but there’s nothing I can do about it except make sure they have a hot meal to eat when they come home.
But aside from cooking, there’s not a lot for me to do. I gather as many of the white berries as I can, since they don’t grow in the Lowlands and mash them into a paste that will eventually ferment into a fruity brandy-like drink. Mostly, I hang out alone, and I try not to be afraid for the future. With the arrival of the Zorahn soldiers, everything has been thrown into uncertainty. Will they ignore us, kill us, or seize us by force? After all, we were originally supposed to go to Zoraht and be tested by their scientists. What if they hold us to our contract and forcibly remove us from here?
Dariux finds me one afternoon when my mood is at my bleakest and settles down next to me. “I never asked you what happened when you borrowed my shuttle. You were very upset with your mates.”
Maybe someday, I’ll be able to think about that afternoon without feeling a sharp twinge of pain. “It doesn’t matter. We’re moving past it.”
“Humor me.”
I give him a sidelong glance. Dariux can be such a nosy busybody sometimes. “Fine. I overheard Lud and Xan talk to Belfox and Herrix. They were going to leave without me.”
“No,” he says immediately. “I know Luddux and Xanthox. That’s not who they are. Whatever you heard, Felicity Rollins, you were wrong. When you asked them about it, what did they say?”
I don’t meet his gaze. “I haven’t asked them about it.”
“You haven’t asked them,” he repeats disbelievingly. “Why not?”
My temper flares. “Because I don’t want to hear what they have to say, okay? People don’t love me, Dariux. My aunt and uncle only saw me as cheap labor. My cousin resented me. I thought I could have a second chance here, but then I heard what Lud and Xan said. I’m the fool that’s head-over-heels in love with them, but they don’t feel what I feel.”
I don’t want to think about this. “They used me to turn into dragons,” I whisper. “How can I tell whether they ever cared for me, or if it was all a lie just so they could get what they wanted?”
He gives me a pitying look. “I never took you for a fool and a coward, Felicity,” he says. “You have everything, and you don’t appreciate it. You cling to the past because it’s easier to be afraid than to take a chance.”
I glare at him, stung to the core. Dariux doesn’t understand.
But he doesn’t back down. “You have two mates who love and cherish you. Look around. Do you know what Vonox or Tarix or Revix or any of the unmated men would give to have what you have? Do you know what I’d give for that?”
He’s right. Damn it. He’s absolutely right. When Lud and Xan get back home tonight, I’m going to let everything out in the open. Even if it will break my heart.
“Truth or dare.” I take a deep breath and let the words hang in the air.
Lud and Xan look up at me, freezing with surprise. Finally, Lud answers. “Truth.”
This is it. Now or never.
“Tell me what happened with Belfox and Herrix. Tell me what you were going to tell me that night. Tell me why you were planning to go to Alvi without me.”
Xan leans forward, disbelief in his eyes. “You thought we were going to leave without you? To Alvi? Why would we go to Alvi? It’s in the middle of a war zone. We were going to Kraush.”
“Kraush?” The Zorahn Empire has more planets than I can remember. I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard of this one. “What’s in Kraush?”
Lud exhales slowly. “My daughter.”
19
Luddux
PAST…
With each day that goes by, the fear in my heart grows. Mar’vi is dying. What if I’m not able to get to her in time? What if it is too late?
There are no more messages from the healer in Kraush. He’s given up on me.
But I refuse to give up, not while there is still a sliver of hope.
The assembly of the ship takes longer than I expect. Belfox might have been a technician back in the High Empire, but he certainly doesn’t seem like a skilled one. It takes him weeks to get the ship ready. Several tries end in failure. So many times, the control panel refuses to activate. So many times, it spits out warning messages of incorrectly connected parts and shuts down.
“Write to your daughter,” Xanthox says to me, more than once. “Tell her that you’re coming.”
But I can’t do that, not until I am absolutely sure that I will be able to leave. It would be too cruel to dangle hope in front of her otherwise.
Then it all goes horribly wrong.
Two dragons approach from the sky. “They’ll take your mates from you,” Belfox shouts. “Unless you defend them.”
I should know that Herrix and Belfox sow discord wherever they go, but I listen to them. Every cell in my body is already filled with fear for Mar’vi, and now, fresh terror takes hold of me. They’re coming for Felicity. My mate. My love.
My head is pounding. I’m not thinking clearly; none of us are. Confronted with a threat to our mates, we have reduced to our most primal, most primitive selves. Anger surges within me, hot and bright. Felicity is the only bright spot in my life. How dare these dragons invade us? How dare they try to take her?
We launch into the sky. Rezzix and Magnux, Yasix and Thesix, Xanthox and I, with only one thought in our heads. Protect our mates.
Wild pandemonium reigns. From below, I hear Liorax and Zunix shout something, but I can’t hear them over the blood roaring in my head. I open my mouth and shoot a stream of flame at one of the invaders, a black dragon, and my aim is true. He screams in pain, and his wing catches fire, and he starts tumbling. I watch him fall, his body hurtling toward Lake Ang, the red dragon streaking after him, trying to shield him from the fall, and then… nothing.
Disaster presses in from every direction. Belfox and Herrix have led us astray, as anyone with half a mind should have guessed. I’ve been a fool. A hot-headed, impulsive, impetuous fool.
I have attacked the Firstborn of the High Empire, and the punishment for my crime is death. Arax will demand my execution, as well as the execution of every single member of my family.
I have not only condemned myself as a result of my actions but also my mate and my pair-bond.
All I ever wanted to do was protect the people I cared about. Growing up, I didn’t have a family of my own. I swore to myself that if I was ever fortunate enough to find a bondmate and have youngling, that I would show them every day how much I cared about them.
Instead, I have, once again, failed the people I love most. My daughter is dying on a distant world. As a result of my stupidity, Felicity and Xanthox face almost-certain death.
Herrix slides up to Xanthox and me, and I look at him bitterly. “What do you want?” I snap. “Haven’t you done enough?”
“Don’t be a fool,” he hisses, just as harshly. “There’s only one way out now. The ship is almost assembled. We can leave anytime. If you want to live, you need to escape the prison planet and take your chances in the hidden reaches of the universe.”
He’s right. There’s only one way out of here.
“Come to the cave as soon as you can,” he says. “Belfox needs help. If we work all day and all night, we’ll be ready to leave tomorrow morning. Before,” he adds pointedly,
“The Firstborn wakes up and demands retribution.”
Felicity is talking to Paige Watkins. She looks unhappy, and another pang cuts through me. We’ve barely been around for the last ten days. A sense of urgency has been driving me. Every single day this last week, Xanthox and I have woken up and headed to the cave where Belfox is building the Cloakship. She must be wondering what we’re doing. I’ve evaded her questions, but it’s time for the truth.
Matters are finally coming to a head.
“I’ll tell Felicity,” I murmur. “We’ll be ready to go.”
Herrix stares at me. “The ship only holds four people,” he says. “Your human mate cannot come with us.”
My head snaps up, and shock courses through me. “She’s my mate. Of course she’s coming with us. I won’t leave her behind.”
“You’ll have to,” Herrix replies.
I cannot make this choice. I cannot be asked to choose between my dying daughter and my mate. Felicity means everything to me. There is no way I can leave without her.
I’m about to open my mouth and tell him the deal is off when Xanthox lays a warning hand on my shoulder. “Fine,” he says. “We’ll do it. Give it a few hours for things to calm down here. We’ll slip away as quickly as we can.”
As soon as Herrix departs, I whirl to Xanthox. “What in the name of Caeron do you mean? I’m not going without Felicity.”
“Neither am I,” my pair-bond says. “But we’re all in danger. You know Herrix. He’s volatile. Unstable. Pushing him isn’t a good idea. You need to save your daughter, and you need to leave the prison planet. Now more than ever.”
He sounds like he has a plan. “What are you saying?”
“Right now, we just nod along and agree with everything Herrix and Belfox say,” he replies grimly. “But tomorrow morning, we show up with Felicity. They won’t have a choice at that point.”
It’s risky, but it could work. “We have to warn her.”
“Tonight,” he replies. “Tonight, we tell her everything.”
I take a deep breath. For sixty-five years, one day has been very much like the next. Now, time is hurtling forward, and I feel like I’m a leaf floating in the current, swept along by forces outside my control. “Okay.”
I wait for Felicity to finish her conversation with the human woman, and then I go to her, tugging her away from the crowd. “I have to go away now,” I murmur, my voice low so I can’t be overheard by anyone else. “But I need to talk to you tonight. It’s important.”
Her eyes are wide and fearful. “What’s going on, Lud? You’re freaking me out.”
“Not now, little one.” I brush a kiss across her lips. Please don’t judge me too harshly about Mar’vi. “Tonight. I promise. I will tell you everything.”
She swallows hard and lost as I am in my worries, I don’t see the flash of insecurity in her eyes. I don’t notice the way she clings to me.
Not until it’s too late.
20
Felicity
PAST…
I need to talk to you tonight. It’s important.
Too much is happening. Lud attacked the other dragon, and now, everyone’s talking in hushed voices. It was an accident, I want to scream. Can’t you see that Belfox and Herrix egged them into it?
My mates weren’t the only ones to charge into battle. May and Paige’s guys jumped into the sky as well. Somehow, everyone’s giving them a free pass, while inching away from Lud and Xan.
Of course. They’re going to let him shoulder the blame for this.
Fuck this shit. I’m not going to let it happen. I will fucking go postal if they try to make Lud their fall guy.
Something’s wrong. Lud and Xan have been pulling away from me. They’ve barely been around in the last couple of weeks. Last night, I’d been so lonely that I’d even gone to talk to Bryce, who is by far the nicest of all the women here. Of course, Olivia had come in right in the middle and had immediately launched into a litany of questions.
I tried talking to them yesterday, but they’d left before I could ask them what’s going on. They hadn’t been back home by the time I went to sleep either. It had been the first night I’d slept alone in my treehouse.
But none of that matters now. When push comes to shove, I will stand by my mates.
Olivia’s saying something to her mates, who are giving Lud an unhappy look. I turn to Paige. “Don’t you guys dump this on my mates,” I snap. “I’m telling you, if Olivia tries to make this out to be Lud’s fault, I will Towanda her ass.”
She smiles faintly, though her eyes are concerned. “Really, Felicity? A Fried Green Tomatoes reference at a time like this?” She takes a deep breath. “I was here. I saw everything go down. Don’t worry. Every single one of us shares the blame for this.”
Lud comes up to me, and I hug him tight. He pulls me away from the crowd, and I follow. Before I can ask him how he’s doing, he starts to speak. “I have to go away now,” he says softly. “But I need to talk to you tonight. It’s important.”
What the hell is going on? He’s not going to do something stupid and chivalrous like shoulder the blame for this all by himself, is he? Because I’m not going to let him.
“What’s going on, Lud?” I ask him, a definite quiver in my voice. “You’re freaking me out.”
“Not now, little one.” He kisses me, soft and gentle, and at his familiar touch, I melt into him, breathing in the smoky male scent of my mate, taking comfort in the strength of his embrace. “Tonight. I promise. I will tell you everything.”
Through the trees, I can see Xan’s expression. He looks wary and tense. That’s not like him. Xan is cocky and easy-going, confident and secure. I’ve never seen him look so stressed.
I tighten my grip around Lud. I have a very bad feeling about this.
By mid-afternoon, most of the commotion dies down. Dariux returns from his expedition—he says he’s helping Bryce find grain for beer, but somehow, I get the sense that this is a cover for whatever he’s really doing—and he snaps into action. Using his med-kit, he heals the injured Draekon.
For the moment, everything’s okay, but it feels like the calm before the storm.
Lud and Xan are nowhere to be seen. Sighing, I make my way home and move to the kitchen. My mates had made this room just for me, spending endless hours asking me what kitchens looked like on Earth, and constructing everything here to my specifications. It’s a small room—it is a treehouse, after all—but I love it.
I pull out a small piece of dried meat from the pantry and cook it over the stove. It’s almost done when there’s a knock at the door.
My heart leaps. Lud and Xan, finally?
It’s not them. It’s Herrix. Of all the Draekons in the camp, he’s the one who creeps me out the most. He’s sly and devious, and he’s clearly contemptuous of the women, seeing us as inferior to him. Not to mention his role in this morning’s debacle.
“Luddux and Xanthox aren’t here,” I say, a definite edge in my voice. “I thought they were with you.”
“I’m not looking for them,” he replies. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“To me?” I blink in confusion. “What about?”
“About your mates.”
I trust Herrix about as far as I can throw him. I give him a wary look. “What about them?”
“Have you ever wondered what Luddux and Xanthox have been doing for the last two weeks? They leave at dawn and return at dusk. Surely, you must be curious about what they’re up to.”
Of course I am, but I’m not going to bitch about Lud and Xan to Herrix. Lud promised to tell me tonight. Yes, I’m hurt that they’re keeping secrets from me, but the last thing I want to do is give Herrix ammunition. “If they want to tell me, they will.”
“Or maybe there’s a reason they’re not telling you.” He gives me a sympathetic look. “You humans place a value on directness, I believe, so I’ll get right to the point. What if I told you that Luddux and Xanthox have been helping Herrix and I ass
emble a spaceship, one that will allow us to finally escape the prison planet?”
I inhale sharply.
“What if I told you,” he continues, “that the reason they haven’t mentioned this to you is because they don’t want you to go with them?”
“They would never do that.” Would they? What if Lud is going to tell me tonight that they’re leaving me? What if they’re just trying to put off saying good-bye?
“Are you sure, Felicity Rollins?” he asks, tilting his head to one side. “Xanthox has vast estates in Alvi. Far away enough from the homeworld that questions won’t be asked about his long absence. But,” he says pointedly, “If he shows up with a human mate and a pair-bond, the authorities won’t be able to look the other way.”
My stomach roils. Whatever I might have imagined they were going to tell me, it was never this. “You’re lying,” I say, trying to ignore the sick feeling that’s spreading through me. “I know my mates.”
“Do you?” Herrix raises an eyebrow. “Only a fully-transformed Draekon can pilot the ship. Luddux and Xanthox knew that. They did what was necessary.” His lips twist into a sneer. “You were useful,” he says. “But you’ve outlived your purpose.”
“We leave in the morning,” he continues. “Xanthox is a Highborn noble, Felicity Rollins. He is a citizen of the High Empire. You are human. Your destinies are divergent. Set him free. Set them both free.”
“I don’t believe you,” I repeat stubbornly.
“You don’t have to take my word for it,” he says. “Dariux is back. Borrow his skimmer today. Head west of Lake Ang. It’s rocky terrain, and the hills are dotted with caves. And in one of those caves is the ship. See for yourself.”
I should resist. I know I should Herrix likes to stir up trouble. This morning’s events have shown, pretty damn clearly, that he can’t be trusted.
