by Lili Zander
That’s when I realize I’ve been cramping on and off for the past few hours.
“Um, guys?” I touch Vulrux, and he immediately comes awake. “I feel… I think something’s happening.”
He lays a hand on my stomach, which twitches under his large palm. “Feel that?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he murmurs.
A second later Dennox sits up. “What is it?”
“Contractions.” Vulrux’s voice is calm, and I’m flooded with gratitude that he’s a healer. I’m planning on losing my shit, and I’m counting on Vulrux to keep it together like he always does.
“Harper?” Dennox eases an arm around me as Vulrux rises to gets Dariux’s med-kit. “It’s not an X-ray, is it?” I ask, sitting up in alarm. “X-rays are bad.”
“Relax, diya,” Vulrux says soothingly. “The med-kit is perfectly safe.”
I take a deep breath and lean into my huge mate. Vulrux listens to the baby’s heartbeat. “It’s strong.”
He hands me the narrow wand. I wrap my fingers around it, and it pulses in my hand, the rhythm strong and steady. “Is that…?” Oh my God, that’s our baby’s heartbeat. I can feel our baby’s heartbeat.
Vulrux holds my belly as the cramps come again, little electric shocks along my sides. “Things could be starting, or it could be false labor,” he says.
“False labor?” Dennox asks.
“The womb preparing for real labor.” Vulrux sets the med-kit aside. “Do you feel all right? Do you need anything?”
“I’ll get water,” Dennox says, jumping up. I smile at his back. He’s so big and capable, and he looks like he’s going to flip out. Dennox is not used to feeling helpless.
“If the contractions get stronger and closer together, let me know. We might have a while to wait. Do you want me to get Sofia?”
“No, don’t wake her. Who knows how long this is going to take.”
Vulrux dims the light to its lowest setting. “We’ll stay up with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.” He fusses around me until I assure him I’m comfortable. This is the first pregnancy for all of us, and we’re all a little anxious.
Dennox returns with my water. I drain the glass and settle back under the covers. The three of us lie in a row, Vulrux gently stroking my hair.
We lie awake for what feels like hours. The little cramps continue, not growing stronger, but not fading away. “What time is it?” I ask.
“Almost sunrise.”
I sit up. Dennox anticipates what I want to do. He slides off the bed and lifts me, carrying me to the front room. We watch the day dawn and the sky slowly lighten, and I think, This is it. This could be my daughter’s birthday.
Vulrux, who’d dozed off, gets to his feet and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asks me.
“I’m still alright.” The contractions are little stronger, but not much. “I feel like I should do something.”
“We can take a walk or go back to bed. Until the contractions grow closer, all we can do is wait.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dennox slouching, holding a strap.
Ooh. Our sex swing. Of course. “Or we could fool around,” I suggest. Hey, Sofia told me that sex induces labor, and she’s a doctor. I’m just following her orders.
Dennox straightens in surprise, but Vulrux grins. “That’s actually a good idea.”
I slip out of my robe, and he sets me in the straps. I’m seated, suspended with ease, my legs apart. “You going to examine me?” I smile up at Vulrux.
“Very, very thoroughly,” he promises.
I pull on the straps, swinging close to Dennox, who looks a little lost. Or maybe he’s still freaking out. “Kiss me,” I tell him, hoping to take his mind off the fact that I’m having a baby.
He does, holding me carefully. Vulrux’s hands close over my hips, and his lips work my neck until I’m sighing. The slight pain of the cramps fades away as we make out.
“Do you feel all right, sweet one?” Dennox asks. His touch is feather-light, as if he’s afraid I might break.
“Oh yes,” I breathe, playing with his nipple piercings. Just the sight of his broad chest, the black bands on his arms and glint of metal on his pecs is enough to drive me crazy. “This is definitely helping.”
“I am glad we made this swing,” Vulrux runs his hands down my legs. “I bet we can find some interesting positions.”
“Yes…” I let my head roll back onto his chest as he slides a hand over my full breast, squeezing and massaging. “That feels so good.”
Pain hits hard. Electricity flows through my body, my insides contorting. “Oh God,” I gasp. “Something is definitely happening. That one really hurt.”
“I think it’s time to get Sofia,” Vulrux says. Dennox helps me out of the swing, kisses me and is gone like a shot. I smile at his retreating back. Poor Dennox.
“Can you eat something?” Vulrux wraps me in the robe and carries me back to the bedroom. “Or drink something? Juice or broth?”
“Yes, juice.” Calories would be good. “How long is this going to go on?”
His thumb caresses my cheek. “As long as it takes. Babies come when they come.”
He turns on the lights but keeps them dim, and I rest on the bed, shifting restlessly when each contraction hits. He gets my juice and rubs my back while I drink it. “Soon you will hold your daughter in your arms.”
A prickle of fear crawls up my spine, and I banish it ruthlessly.
Dennox sticks his head in, breathing hard like he’s just run a race. “Sofia is on her way.”
Any jealousy I felt over Sofia is gone. I need all the help I can get. “Could you get Voila too, please?”
Dennox nods. “Of course, diya.”
One of the other Draekons must be around to run the errand for him, because in a few seconds he’s back at my side. My mates hold my hands. I close my eyes and let the contractions wash over me.
“Harper?” Viola is here, and Sofia too. I lay my head back in relief. Two Draekons and two humans— that feels right. I want women to greet my daughter as she entered the world.
“Help me up.” I reach out my arms. “I need to move.”
My mates and friends surround me. As soon as I’m on my feet, there’s a hard gush of wetness, like a water balloon popped inside me.”
“Was that...?” I pant.
“Your water broke,” Sofia confirms.
Taking my hand, Vulrux looks me in the eye. “You’re ready,” he whispers. “You can do this.”
13
Harper
I start to nod and then shake my head as a fierce pain ripples through me. “I can’t,” I cry out.
“You are,” Sofia says calmly. “You are already doing this.”
And then the pain takes over. I don’t know how long I labor. At times the pain is so intense it takes me beyond consciousness, beyond memory. Other times, I stare at the yellow stitches on a little dress someone made for me. For my daughter. She can wear a dress, even if she has horns. And scales.
Dennox stays at my side, his big hand holding mine. I don’t even have to worry about how hard I grip it. Vulrux kneels in front of me, face calm even when I cry out in pain. He’s never done this before. In the homeworld, healers don’t deliver babies, midwives do that. But he’s doing great. He’s so calm that I just know everything’s going to be okay.
Viola and Sofia hover close, offering water, juice, cool cloths for my forehead. I’m sorry, I want to say. I didn’t mean for this to be difficult. I didn’t want it to take so long. “Thank you,” I whisper.
Sofia exchanges a look with Vulrux. “Help her in a squatting position,” she says. “It’ll be easier.”
The pain is still slicing through me. I lean on Vulrux and Dennox, clinging to them as they move me into a squatting position.
“You’re doing great,” Viola murmurs. She looks so lovely and serene. Typical. I’d say something snarky about how
she’s showing me up at my own birth, but my throat is too parched to form words. “I’m taking notes for Felicity. She’s next.”
“Lucky her,” I grit out.
“I know.” Viola keeps chatting as if we were at a coffee shop, bless her. “This makes me want to figure out some sort of condom. Think we can get the syn to make one? More importantly, will it be big enough to fit?”
I let out a gasp—as close to a laugh as I can get. Sofia lays a cool cloth on my head, and I almost swoon in happiness. “Thank you, that feels so good.” I shake and cry through another contraction. “I’m so hot.”
“I feel the head,” Vulrux says to me.
Sofia moves to look. “You’re almost there, Harper,” she tells me soothingly. “You are so close.”
“Promise?” I whisper and scream as another contraption rips through me. Dennox’s normally bronzed skin is pale, as he bows his head over my hand, like he’s praying.
It hurts beyond pain. One brutal contraction leaves, another ebbs through me. “I just want this to be over,” I sob.
“If you reach down, you can feel her,” Vulrux tells me with an awestruck smile on his face.
For a second, I have no idea who he’s talking about. Then I clue in. “Her? Our daughter? What—” I’m afraid to ask what she looks like.
“She has hair. Lots of it. Dark as Dennox’s.”
“Soon,” Sofia says to me, as giant cramps rush through me, sawing me in half.
“There,” Vulrux crows. And then I’m thrashing on the bed, and then it’s done. Dennox steadies me as a small cry fills the room.
“It’s over. You did it.” Viola has tears in her eyes and a wide smile on her face. She squeezes my shoulder. “You’re a mom, Harper.”
Sofia and Vulrux are huddled together with our daughter.
My fear is gone. She could be hideous. She could be a monster. I will love her to the end of time, no matter what. She’s mine. Vulrux’s and Dennox’s and mine.
“I want her.”
Vulrux lays the smallest bundle on my bare chest, and I’m lost in the eyes of my daughter. The rest of the room swirls away. My mate lays a soft blanket over her, and her little face scrunches in protest. She has thick, dark hair like Dennox. Flawless bronze skin like a Draekon. But she’s got my eyes, as blue as the California sky on a clear summer day.
I’m laughing and crying at the same time.
“Sweet one.” Dennox kisses my forehead, his voice choked up. “Oh, Harper. She’s so perfect.”
“You want to hold her?” I ask him. The others are still bustling around, my body still working, but I can barely feel it.
He nods. He cradles her gently, and I watch the two of them. Our baby looks so tiny in his big hands.
I lay back for a moment as Vulrux checks on me. “You did so well,” he praises me, kissing my forehead before turning to check on our daughter. A smiling Viola offers me a cup with a straw. I sip the thick, sweet kunnr mixture. “Oh, Harper, she’s as beautiful as her mother.”
I nod, as if I knew all along. Maybe, under all the fear, I did.
“Do you have a name?”
I nod. We’ve talked about this. “Kaida,” I say. “We’re naming her Kaida. It means ‘dragon.’” An Earth name, for a Draekon-human baby.
Vulrux holds out his hands, and Dennox transfers our child to him. He looks down at her scrunched little face, cocking his head to the side. “Daughter of dragons.”
Sofia and Viola clean me up, wrapping me in a soft robe and offering more water. “There’s some tearing. You only need a few stitches,” Sofia murmurs. “A few minutes with the med-kit and you’ll be healed just fine.”
I let Vulrux hold Kaida for as long as I can stand being separated from her, and then I reach for my baby again. Vulrux lays her on my bare chest with a tender smile, and Kaida settles in my arms with a sigh. In a moment she might start to root for her milk, but for now, she seems content to snuggle with me. My two mates bend over us both.
“Look at her,” I whisper. “Your daughter.” Her tiny fingers work against my chest. Her fingernails aren’t even as big as one of my freckles. “So tiny to make me so large,” I laugh.
“I have never seen anything so perfect.” Vulrux’s hand falls on my neck, stroking me.
Dennox clears his throat. “All my life... there is nothing I have done to lead to this joy. You’ve given us such a gift.” He leans down and kisses my brow. “Our strong, bold, beautiful mate.”
“She looks like you, Harper,” Vulrux says.
“I know.”
We watch her move, starting to weave in search of her meal. She wriggles in Dennox’s direction, and he grins. “She likes me better,” he tells Vulrux.
“She knows you will spoil her and I will be the one to tell her no,” Vulrux retorts.
“No one will be able to tell you ‘no,’” I croon to Kaida. “Isn’t that right, little dragon?”
Sofia pats my shoulder. “We’re going to leave you three alone,” she says. “Is there anything you need?”
“Chocolate,” I blurt before thinking.
Viola laughs. “I’ll crank up the syn,” Viola promises. “I’ll bring it right away. Along with real food.”
The two of them slip away. My mates lie down beside me, so the three of us are in a little huddle around our baby girl.
“Thank you,” Dennox whispers to me, and Vulrux echoes the words. “Thank you, diya.”
They bend their heads close to our daughter. This is a Zorahn ritual, where the parents promise to love and cherish their child. I don’t think much of many Zorahn customs, but this one makes me tear up. Especially when I listen to my mates’ solemn words.
“As I live and breathe, you will never want for anything,” Dennox promises Kaida as she stares up at him.
“We will make a better world for you,” Vulrux vows, stroking her soft cheek with a finger.
My eyes prickle with tears. “Welcome,” I whisper. “Welcome to the world, daughter of Draekons.”
Epilogue
Inside the lost city of the Draekons…
“Commander Cax.” Silu hurries up to my side with a tablet in her hands. “There has been a development.”
I stop and wait for her to catch up. My second-in-command is more than capable of handling the current situation. If she’s concerned, then whatever has happened is important. Potentially, another game-changer.
“Let me guess.” I run through the list of things keeping me up at night. “Those idiots Belfox and Herrix, who thought they could pilot a ship off Trion VI before they completed their shift have come out of their comas. A platoon of Zoraken has found Raiht’vi, or, worse, the exiles. That vile scientist, Beirax, has escaped from his prison cell.”
Silu rolls her eyes. “The healers are indeed hopeful that Belfox and Herrix will awaken in the next day or two, Commander, but that news could have waited for our daily briefing. This, on the other hand, cannot.” She extends her screen to me. “We’ve been tracking the scientist, Raiht’vi,” she says. “She’s getting pretty weak. Per your orders, I was ready to order her to be evacuated either today or tomorrow, but an hour ago, she stumbled on one of the crashed Zoraken ships.” Her expression turns sheepish. “I beg pardon for the lapse, Commander. We should have searched the wreckage, but we didn’t.”
I don’t blame her. So many things have happened ever since Fehrat 1 crash-landed here. It’s reignited a fresh debate in the Senate about our decision to leave the last two batches of exiles to fend for themselves. Old wounds are being reopened. Battle lines are being drawn. In all the chaos, it’s not surprising that something slipped through the cracks.
I don’t give a fuck about politics. I’m the administrator of Ashara. This is my city. I’ll do what’s necessary to protect it.
“What happened?”
“She found a communicator.”
Fuck.
“We’re incredibly lucky,” Silu continues. “She sent a message out during the flares. The Z
orahn Navy cannot intercept it, of course.”
My lips quirk at the disdain in her voice. Silu’s Adrashian. Their technology is centuries ahead of the High Empire, and she never lets me forget about it. “What did the message say?”
She gestures to the forgotten tablet in my hands. Oh, right. I scan the message that Raiht’vi sent to Tarish, and my gut clenches. “She knows, then,” I mutter under my breath. “She knows what Brunox has been doing to the Draekons.”
Silu nods. “She might even know the location of the secret laboratories,” she says. She takes a deep breath. “You know what some of the others will say.”
That we should bring Raiht’vi in. Torture her if we need to. Do whatever it takes to discover the location of those labs, because it is our moral responsibility to free the Draekons held captive by the scientists.
Everyone has a line they won’t cross. This is mine. I won’t torture anyone. I don’t care if everyone argues that it’s for a good cause, because that’s karvil-dung.
“What do we do?” Silu asks.
The solar flares keep the ships circling the asteroid belt from intercepting our communications, but it won’t stop someone who’s already on the ground. “The three Zoraken soldiers who crashed to the east of the Na’Lung Cliffs, have they detected her message?”
Silu, competent as always, nods. “They haven’t notified the Navy yet,” she replies. “We’re jamming their communications.”
Thank Caeron for Silu. Before her, Mardesh was my second-in-command, and he was hopeless, practically wanting me to hold his hand while he used the privy.
A person’s ethics are not measured by what they do when the choices are easy. They’re measured by what they do when the choices are impossibly hard.
I reach my decision. “I’m going to let this play out,” I tell Silu. “Wipe the soldiers’ memories. Be prepared to pull Raiht’vi out if the Emperor’s ships come calling.”
“Yes, Commander.”
I’m giving Brunox’s daughter the chance to do the right thing. I can only hope that I haven’t made a strategic error.
