I hit send, knowing she’ll catch the sarcasm in my statement. She got to hear all about Katy the last time I was in California.
Hope: Play nice. You’re only there for a couple of months. Try to make the best of it.
Me: That would be a lot easier to do if you were with me.
I stare at the text message for a long moment before finally hitting send, not sure how she will interpret what I’m saying.
Two days ago she wouldn’t have second guessed my intentions. But now, everything is different. We’re different.
And as much as I wish we could go back, I know we can’t. There’s a part of me that’s glad we can’t because kissing her was probably the single best moment of my entire life. No matter how much it complicated where we are now.
Me: Are we okay?
I send the second message before she can respond to the first.
It feels like an eternity as I watch the dots that indicate that she’s typing, bounce across the screen.
Hope: We’re okay.
I don’t know if this is the truth or because she knows that right now it’s what I need to hear. Either way, I decide to take it at face value because the alternative is not something I can stomach at the moment.
Me: Don’t have too much fun without me this summer.
Hope: Not unless you count working and listening to Lulu complain about you all summer as fun.
Me: Maybe I’m glad to be in California after all.
Hope: Maybe you should be. ;)
I smile to myself, feeling slightly better about things.
Me: Talk later? I’m almost to Dad’s. The step-monster keeps looking at me...
Hope: Step-monster? LOL!
Me: That’s what I’m calling her now. It’s only a matter of time before he slaps a ring on it...
I hit send and then look back at her, doing a double take. Holy shit. There’s definitely a nice shiny diamond on her ring finger.
Me: Wait, hold on. Too late, there’s already a ring on there.
Hope: Shut up!?
Me: No shit. Guess that’s why he made reservations at my favorite restaurant tonight. He should have had her keep the ring off until then. Kinda gives it away.
Hope: Wow! I’m so sorry. How awkward for you.
Me: What part? The part where she’s only four years older than me? Or the part where they’ve only been dating a few months and he’s already spent half the money he got out of the divorce on a ring for a child?
Hope: Um, both?
Me: This is so like my dad.
Hope: Two months. Two months. Two months.
I can see her in my head as if she were sitting right in front of me, her eyes squeezed tight as she chants.
Me: Okay, we’re pulling in now. I really do have to go.
Hope: Talk later.
I have to resist the urge to say more, but instead I lock my phone and shove it back into my pocket.
Well, maybe I didn’t entirely fuck up my friendship with Hope, but one thing still remains true. This is going to be a very long two months.
——
“So you got settled in okay?” I lift my shoulder and hold the phone to my ear as I shove the key into the front door and push my way inside my dad’s house.
It’s been two weeks since I arrived in California. While things have calmed down since my arrival, in the sense that Dad told me he was marrying Katy and I didn’t completely blow a gasket, I still don’t want to be here.
Hell, I wanted to turn around and fly right back to Missouri the day I got here. How weird is that? When my mom told me we were moving, there was no where I wanted to be more than California. Now, it’s the last place I want to be.
“Yep. Just finished unpacking. My room is bigger than I expected.” I can hear the smile in Hope’s voice, and while I’m so happy for her, a part of me wishes I was there to see that smile in person.
Last week I purchased my plane ticket home. Being away from Hope after the way we left things was eating at me. Even though we both were good at pretending that everything was normal, something was off. It still feels that way. So I was prepared to fly back to Missouri and spend the rest of the summer with her.
Unfortunately, my plans were thwarted when Hope was selected to attend a special summer program for incoming students. Which meant she had to leave almost immediately for New York.
“And your roommate?” I ask, dropping my keys on the table next to the front door before heading upstairs to my room.
“She’s really sweet. She’s from Hawaii and smells like coconut. And you know how much I love the smell of coconut.”
“I do.” I chuckle, remembering how last summer Hope would randomly walk up and start sniffing me because my sunscreen smelled like coconuts. “And the program, when does that start?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Are you nervous?”
“Extremely.” She blows out an audible sigh.
“Don’t be. You’re the best cook I know.”
“Chef,” she corrects me. “They call us chefs here, not cooks.”
“My apologies, Chef Russell.” I bow my head in apology even though she can’t see me.
“I think I like the sound of that.”
“Well you better, because that’s what people are going to call you from now on.”
“I think I can live with that.” She giggles and the sound hits me square in the chest.
Fuck, I miss this girl. More than I realized I could miss anyone. I would miss her even if what happened the last time we saw each other hadn’t happened. While it added a different element to our relationship, at the end of the day I just miss her.
“I can’t wait to see what you learn at school.”
“Careful. I might come home and fatten you up.”
“I think I like the sound of that. You can fatten me up any day.”
“You’re funny.” I imagine her shaking her head the way she always does when she’s amused with me. “I hate to rush off, but I actually need to go. I have a dinner I have to get to and I don’t want to be late. I’m determined not to let high school follow me into college.”
Hope probably set the record for tardiness in a single school year this past year. I swear, that girl can leave thirty minutes early to get somewhere and still manage to show up late.
“Yeah, let’s see how long that lasts.” I snort.
“Hey now! You be nice.”
“I am being nice. I’m also being honest.”
“Ugh. I’m hanging up now,” she says, laughter in her voice.
“Have fun at your dinner. Call me when you can.”
“Will do.”
“Bye, Russell.”
“Bye, Murray.” Moments later the line goes dead.
I collapse back onto my bed, dropping my cell phone onto the mattress next to me. This is the first time in the last couple of weeks that I actually feel semi-okay. Maybe it’s because I know Hope is gone and the urge to go home is no longer a factor. Or maybe it’s because we’re finding some way to work through this weird limbo our relationship is in.
Whatever it is, I’m determined to make the best of this summer. It’s the last summer of my youth. My last summer before college and the start of my adult life. And as much as I wish I could spend it with Hope, I know I can’t. She’s living her life and it’s time I start living mine again. It’s okay to miss her. And I can’t imagine a day when I won’t. But moping around here like a lost dog is not doing either of us any good. It’s time I called some of my old buddies and remember why I used to love California so much.
Chapter Fourteen
Two Years Later
“Please tell me you caught that on camera.” I laugh as I skirt around my room, collecting dirty clothes to take to the laundry room.
I have a basket sitting right next to my bed so you would think I’d be better about keeping things all in one place, but alas, I’ve gotten really bad about kicking things off and leaving them on the floor.
I blame it on t
he fact that I’m always busy. Between class and work, I barely have a moment to breathe. But in truth, it really boils down to a mild case of laziness. Of course, that only leaves me with more to clean up and sort when I actually do get a day off to catch up on things like laundry.
Today just happens to be one of those rare days when I have nowhere to be and I plan on taking full advantage of it. Laundry. Nap. Clean my room. Maybe another nap. Order in Chinese and eat my weight in Chow Mein while I binge watch Netflix. You get the idea.
“God I wish.” Lulu’s voice rings through the speaker of my phone that’s laying on my dresser, pulling me back to the conversation. “Though it was the funniest thing I think I’ve ever seen.”
I think it’s safe to say Lulu is having the time of her life in Texas. She lives in a sorority house with several other girls, and apparently spends most of her nights at parties. I guess last night’s party was quite the doozy. The frat guys were taking turns sledding down the staircase.
“I’m so jealous,” I admit, wishing I had time for things like parties. Not that I would actually go, but I can’t remember the last time I went out and did something fun.
Well that’s not entirely true. My roommate, Sophie and I did make the two hour trip to the city a couple of months ago and that was pretty fun. I hadn’t been to the Big Apple before. Needless to say, I spent entirely too much money while I was there, but it was well worth it.
“You should be jealous. I’m out here living it up and all you do is work, school, work, school.”
“That’s kinda the point though, isn’t it?”
“It’s not just about the education. It’s also about the experience. Something you’d know if you actually had a life.”
“I have a life,” I argue.
“Uh, huh. Sure you do.” I imagine her rolling her eyes dramatically at this very moment.
I open my mouth, ready to list all the reasons why she’s wrong, when a knock at my door stops me.
“Shit,” I grumble, snagging my phone off the dresser before taking it off of speaker phone. “Hang on, Lu. Soph forgot her key again.”
I unlock the door and tug it open, all the blood draining from my face when I see someone that is definitely not Sophie.
My mouth goes dry.
Alec...
“What...” I start, confusion the most prominent thing I feel.
It’s been weeks since we’ve spoken. Hell, months. Between my schedule and his, we haven’t had the time. Suffice it to say, he’s the last person I ever expected to show up on my doorstep.
He looks so different and yet somehow exactly the same. Older, but the same. His hair is a little longer, a little messier, and he’s got scruff covering his face. Which, if possible, makes him even more handsome.
I think back to the last time I saw him... The day of my graduation cookout. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was one of the best and worst days of my life.
God, has it really been two years?
“Hello?” Lulu’s voice in my ear snaps me out of my fog.
“Lu, I’m gonna have to call you back.” I let the phone slide away from my ear, ending the call without another word.
“Hope Russell.” His eyes do a full sweep of my body and I’m suddenly very aware of how horrible I look. I’m wearing old pajama shorts and a tank. My dirty hair is tied in a loose knot on top of my head, and I don’t have a lick of makeup on my face. “Damn have I missed you.”
Before I can react, he grabs my arm and tugs me to his chest, wrapping me in a tight hug. As soon as his scent fills my nostrils, I relax into his embrace. He smells exactly as I remember. He smells like home. And while I knew deep in my being that I missed him, I hadn’t realized just how much until this very moment.
“What are you doing here?” I’m in such a state of shock, I can’t think of one other thing to say as I pull back and look up at his handsome face.
“I flew in this morning. I’m actually here with one of my professors. He does some freelance writing for Vanity Fair and comes to the city every so often for work. When I expressed interest in writing a serial to have published in a magazine, he suggested I come with him.”
Alec has always loved writing. But I am surprised to learn that he’s interested in writing for a magazine. Even though, once upon a time in high school, he had expressed interest in writing fiction one day, I always saw him as more of a news journalist. Maybe because he wrote for the school newspaper and had a talent for how he could spin any story into something everyone wanted to read.
“You’re writing a serial?” I cock a brow.
“Kind of. It’s far from finished but I’ve got a few things scribbled down.” He smiles and I get my first look at those dimples in nearly two years. I’d be lying if I said the sight didn’t make my knees wobble a little.
“Wow. I’m just...” I shake my head, still trying to process that he’s actually standing in front of me. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I step back out of the doorway. “Please, come in.”
He steps inside and pushes the door closed. My small room suddenly seems that much smaller with him standing inside of it.
“So, this is it.” He looks around the space. “It’s bigger than it looked on FaceTime.”
“It’s really messy right now. I’m sorry. Today is cleaning and laundry day.” I move around the room, quickly collecting the remaining articles of clothing from the floor. “Obviously, I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Well, I did kind of show up without calling first.” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “But we haven’t talked in a while and I wasn’t sure what to say.”
“So you thought showing up here unannounced would be easier?”
“I guess I really didn’t think about it. But I knew there was no way I was going to be within a couple hours of where you were and not come to see you.”
“So, you said you’re here with your professor?”
“Yeah, I’m his T.A. He’s at the hotel. We have a day full of meetings tomorrow and then we fly back out in the evening.”
“Wow. That’s fast.”
“Yeah, it’s just a short trip.” He rocks back on his heels. “I was kind of hoping I could steal you for a few hours. I wasn’t sure what you had going on today, but I know you don’t have class on Sunday. And if I remember right, you only work every other Sunday. I’m hoping I caught you on the off Sunday, considering you’re cleaning and doing laundry.”
“Actually, you did.” I drop the last items into the laundry basket and slide it to the side with my foot.
“So does that mean you can squeeze me into your busy schedule?” The way he looks at me makes my stomach feel like it’s doing backflips.
“I think I can make a little time for you.” I pull my bottom lip into my mouth to try to hide my smile.
Alec and I have remained friends during our time apart, but our relationship hasn’t been what it used to be. Time and distance have pulled us in different directions. Although I still feel close to him, I also feel like he’s a stranger in a lot of ways.
“Alright then, Russell. Perhaps you should do something with yourself.” He gestures to my outfit. “Don’t get me wrong, you look cute as hell. But I’m guessing you don’t want to show me around where you go to school and work wearing that.” He chuckles, the sound warming me from the inside out.
“Yeah, probably not.” I give him an apologetic look. “Actually, I really need to hop in the shower. Do you think you could give me a few minutes?”
“I showed up here without any warning and you’re willing to drop everything to spend time with me. So yeah, I think I can give you a few minutes to shower.”
“Perfect.” I turn, grabbing a pair of skinny jeans and a navy tunic out of my closet. It’s about the only decent outfit I have that’s not dirty.
As inconspicuously as possible, I retrieve a pair of panties and bra from my drawer before grabbing my shower tote off the top of my dresser.
&nb
sp; “Give me ten,” I tell him, looking around the semi-messy room.
“I’ll do you one better.” He grins. “I’ll give you fifteen.”
“How generous of you,” I deadpan, giving him a playfully annoyed look.
“Are you going to go or are you going to stand there looking at me all day?” he teases.
“It’s just...” I stop with my hand on the doorknob. “I really can’t believe that you’re here right now.”
“It’s a little weird for me too. Even though I knew I was coming. It still feels crazy to be here. To be looking at you, in person, after all this time.”
“Yeah,” I agree, blowing out a slow breath. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” I tug open the door, pausing just outside the hallway. “If Sophie shows up, just tell her you’re waiting for me. She’s...”
“A petite Hawaiian girl with dark hair. Yep. I’ve got it.”
“Right.” I smile, hesitating for a moment longer before pulling the door closed behind me.
I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly before turning and heading toward the shower room.
——
“Twelve minutes,” Alec tells me when I walk into the room, freshly showered with a white bath towel wrapped around my wet hair.
I managed to put on a little eyeliner and mascara in the bathroom, but I had no time to do anything with my hair. I’ll have to let it air dry as I’m sure he doesn’t want to wait another twenty minutes for me to blow dry and straighten it.
“Sorry.” I’m not sure why I’m apologizing considering he’s the one who showed up here out of the blue.
“Don’t be. I don’t mind waiting. Besides, you were completely within the fifteen-minute time perimeter that we discussed.” He gives me that sheepish grin of his and my heart does a full summersault in my chest.
God, why does he have to be so freaking good looking? Why did he have to show up like this? And why am I so happy that he did?
“So, what’s your serial about?” I ask, trying to find something to fill the silence while I pull the towel from my hair and start to run a brush through the wet strands.
“I can’t tell you.” His eyes stay glued to me as I work to make myself somewhat presentable.
Almost Never Page 10
