Casey watches her, and Kallie looks down. “Wait a second,” Monica says, “he’s not married.” She points at me, and I swear Kallie got whiplash with how fast her head flew up. “The answer to that is no.”
Olivia stares at us dumbfounded. “Well, that is very good to know.” She nods and then looks at Casey. “Awkward.” He shakes his head.
“Let’s get this thing started,” I say and walk past them to the back. The sound of the girls’ heels are clicking on the floor, and when we get into the room with my squad, the guys sit there with their mouths hanging open.
“Gentlemen,” Casey says. Looking around the room, I see that no one was here when the shit went down with me and Kallie. They are all a year younger than me.
“Grady,” I say, and he gets up and smiles at Olivia and then bigger at Kallie. I suddenly want to throat punch him. “Meet Olivia and Kallie.” Grady’s smile fades as the name clicks into place. “Ladies, have a seat.” The girls go to the chairs, and Kallie stops when she spots the picture of Ethan and me. Her eyes fill with tears, but she blinks them away and sits down. When all seats are taken, the only one left is right beside Kallie. I pull it out and sit down, taking off my glasses. “Shall we start?”
Chapter Twelve
Kallie
“Shall we start?” He sits beside me, and my body goes on full alert. I could lie and say that I didn’t take my time getting ready today. The white jeans are my favorite pair, and I know that I look awesome in them. The same for the shirt. The shoes? Well, the shoes speak for themselves. Will my feet burn in an hour? Yes. Did I have to walk barefoot to the truck killing my feet on the rocks? Yes.
But a girl has to do what a girl has to do, and apparently, it hurts doing it.
I thought I was ready to face him. I thought it wouldn’t bother me. It did. Watching him walk in wearing black jeans that show off just how big his thighs got made my stomach flip. His shirt again pulled across his chest, and I was looking for the ink that I saw pieces of yesterday. His hair is longer than I thought it was. You can see where he pushed it back with his fingers. Or maybe Savannah did it when he got out of the shower when she kissed him goodbye. The thought makes me want to throw up. I put my hand on my stomach, expecting it to come up. I was so in my head I didn’t know what was going on until she said the words that made my head snap up. “He’s not married.”
What does that mean? Why? It made no sense. Jacob would never not marry the mother of his child. We had a fight once when I asked him about it. The memory comes to me like it was yesterday.
“What do you mean we have to get married?” I asked him as we lay in my bed.
“If you are pregnant with my child.” He looked at me, getting up and grabbing his shirt. “It’s a given you are going to be my wife.”
“Why does it have to be a given, Jacob?” I asked, getting on my elbows.
“I don’t make the rules, baby,” he said softly and leaned down, kissing me tenderly. “I just follow them.”
“That’s barbaric.” I put my hand on his cheek. “I wouldn’t marry you.”
He smirked like he always did. Sometimes his dimple came out, and this was one of those times. “Lies.” He turned and slammed out of the room.
“I think we should start at the beginning,” Grady says, opening his notepad and leaning back in his chair.
I look over at Olivia whose hands start to shake. Casey leans over and grabs one in his, bringing it to his lips. I see everyone at the table look at each other.
“I don’t even know where to start,” Olivia says, her voice shaking just a bit. “Bottom line, I was dating a guy. We got engaged, and it was great, and then it was not so great.” I listen as she tells her side of the story, my own hands in my lap. “The detective called me.”
“Kallie.” I hear my name and look over at Grady. “Are you single?”
I’m about to smile at him when Jacob snaps, “What the fuck does that have to do with any of this?” I don’t look over at him, but I see him in my side view. His jaw gets tight while Olivia snickers beside me.
“Well, for one, we have to eliminate that it isn’t her boyfriend looking for her,” Grady says, tapping his finger on the table.
“I’m single,” I say. “We can eliminate me from this.”
“Good to know,” Grady says and smiles shyly at me.
“Well, if we’re finished with the dating game,” Jacob says, and I still don’t look over at him. “Olivia, do you know how many people we are talking about?”
“The last count was eighty-nine people,” she says, and she shakes her head. “I had no idea that he used their money for his lifestyle.”
“I am going to reach out to the detective on the case,” Jacob says, and the guys around the table nod. None of them really says anything, and if I can say, they all look like badasses. Each one of them is muscled, wearing a white T-shirt, and I have to wonder if maybe it’s the uniform. They actually look like they can do calendars. “I want all eyes open,” Jacob says. “I also want one car parked at the Barnes’ residence overnight. We will have a rotation,” he says, and I wonder if he will be there one night. “Other than that, we should be on the lookout for anyone we don’t know coming through town.”
“That should be easy,” one of the guys says, laughing, “especially with summer coming.”
“It’ll be hard, but we can have a couple of feelers out. I’m going to touch base with the fire commander also,” Jacob says. “I’ll have more tomorrow.” When the guys all get up, I assume the meeting is over, so I move to get up. I put my hand down on the table, and our hands touch. Even though I snatch my hand back as fast as I can, I can’t stop the tingle that remains from his touch.
“Before you guys go,” Jacob says, “I want to see you in my office.” He looks over at Casey and Grady. “Grady, can you join us?”
“Are you okay?” I ask Olivia, who nods her head.
“I could ask you the same,” she mumbles. We walk out of the office, and I wait for Casey to walk in front of us into Jacob’s office. I look around and spot a picture of his father’s official portrait on the wall with the recommendations he got when he was sheriff. Beside him is a picture of Jacob smiling.
I cross my arms over my chest, and my eyes find the picture behind his desk. His arm is wrapped around Savannah with their son in front of him. I try not to let it hurt. The perfect smiles on the faces of his perfect family. “Excuse me,” I say, “I need the restroom.”
“I’ll take her,” Grady says, and I look at Olivia, who looks at me, knowing I saw the picture. “This way,” he says, putting his hand on my lower back and ushering me to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
“Thank you.” Looking at him, I know I should find him hot. He is hot—blond hair, blue eyes, nice body—but it’s just like all the others. Nothing makes my heart flutter.
“I’ll wait for you here,” he says, and I just smile at him. I enter the bathroom and close the door. My head falls on the cold door as the tears escape my eyes. I close my eyes and let the tears fall down my cheeks.
“One of these days, it won’t hurt,” I whisper to myself. “One of these days.” Turning, I walk over to the sink and turn on the cold water. Wetting one of the brown paper towels that they have, I dab at my cheeks. I try to make myself presentable, but it’s obvious I was crying. Tossing the paper in the garbage, I take a deep breath and open the door, and Grady turns to face me from the middle of the room. His phone is in his hand, and he looks at me.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, coming to stand in front of me.
“Yeah,” I say, looking down and trying to think of something that isn’t as depressing as pining after the man who broke your heart and had a family with someone else.
He puts his hand on my arm. “It’s going to be okay, Kallie.” I look up and smile at him. “I promise that nothing will happen to you.”
I’m about to thank him for being kind. “Grady, you think you can join us in a meeting?” Jac
ob says from the doorway, and I look over at him. He stands there, and I want him to look horrible, but he doesn’t.
“I was waiting for Kallie,” Grady says. “We’re coming now.”
We walk back into the office, and I ignore the leers coming from Jacob. I also ignore looking at anything but my feet. I don’t know what is discussed. I can’t even tell you anything. The only thing I know is that the longer I stay in this room, the more I feel my skin crawling. “Let’s get out of here.” I hear Casey, and I’m the first one to turn and walk out of the room but not before I spot one more photograph.
It looks like it was taken right when his son was born. He has tears in his eyes as he holds the little pink baby in his arms swaddled in a white cover with his father beside him. I walk out of the room, and it’s almost as if something is choking me. “I can’t breathe.” I look over at Olivia, who looks frantic. “I just can’t,” I say, trying to catch my breath, but nothing is helping.
I count to ten and not even that helps. I stop halfway to the door, and I have to bend over. “What’s happening?” Grady asks.
“She’s having a panic attack,” Olivia hisses and comes over to me. “Just take in small breaths,” she says, rubbing my back, but I’m struggling even with that. My heart just races even more, and my hands start to tingle, which only means I’m going to go down soon.
“Chair,” I say between trying to get my heart to settle. I’m suddenly lifted in the air, and I think it’s Casey, but it’s not.
“Get a cold rag!” Jacob shouts, and I want to push away from him when he leads me to a chair in a common room. He sits me down and squats down in front of me. “You need breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
“I think she knows how to breathe,” Casey hisses.
Olivia joins Jacob in front of me. “The beach,” she says, and I look at her. “Remember when we went to the beach, and I got a sunburn?” I try to smile, and my heart slows down. While Monica runs over with a rag and hands it to Jacob, who moves my hair to the side and puts it on my neck. “You told me to wear sunscreen.” Olivia tells the story. “I said I don’t need sunscreen, I’m from LA.” I shake my head now as my breathing finally returns to normal.
“You burned like a lobster,” I finish for her. I close my eyes, and my heart starts to slow down.
“She’s good,” Olivia says. I open my eyes, and all I can see is Jacob with worry all over his face. But I close my eyes again and just lean back in the chair, waiting a bit longer before trying to get up.
“How many attacks does she get?” Jacob asks Olivia.
“It doesn’t matter,” she tells him, and he is about to ask another question when I open my eyes.
“I’m good,” I say, taking the rag off my neck and handing it back to Jacob. “Thank you,” I say softly and look over at Casey who pushes his way to me and holds out his hand. I take it and stand, not once letting his hand go.
“We should get some food in you,” Casey says. When I nod, he leads me out, and I don’t make eye contact with anyone. “What the fuck just happened?” he hisses when we are standing by his truck.
“She had a panic attack,” Olivia says for me, “and it doesn’t help to be yelled at, cowboy.” She puts her hands on her hips. “Calm voices.”
He looks at her, and he smiles. “That so, darlin’?” His voice goes soft, and I swear she sighs.
“You two are gross,” I say, looking around. “You know what I want?” They both look at me. “I want a root beer float.”
“Do you know how much sugar is in that?” Olivia asks in shock, and I look at her. She wore her pink pants today with a small gold belt, her white shirt just short of the top of the pants, showing just a touch of her skin. Her nude Louboutins finish the outfit perfectly.
“Enough that I might get two.” I wink at her and turn around. “Casey, let’s go to the diner.” He nods at me, and he walks in the middle of us.
He pulls open the door, making the bell ring. I step in, and the chatter stops. “Well, then,” Olivia says, and I look around at the diner that we used to go to after school every single Friday. Most of us were having the ‘Friday Night Special’ right before the big football game.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Mr. Lewis comes out of the back in his usual brown pants and white shirt. His white apron is folded and tied around his waist. His white hat is on his head. “If it isn’t Miss Kallie.”
“In the flesh,” I say to him, and he smiles. “How’ve you been?”
“Never better,” he says. “You grab a seat, and I’ll send out Delores.”
I walk over to an empty table in the middle of the room. “Are those jukeboxes?” Olivia asks, pointing at one of the booths with the classic jukeboxes on the table.
“Yeah,” Casey says, holding the chair for her to sit in. “Some work and some don’t.”
“That is so cool,” she says, looking around at the old pictures that line the wall.
When Delores comes over, I order a root beer float and a cheeseburger with the works. Olivia looks at the menu, asking for the same and then looks at me. “There is no salad on that menu.”
“I think there is a piece of lettuce in the burger,” I say, throwing my head back and laughing. When the door opens and the bell rings, my heart stops in my chest.
“You did not.” I hear Beau say when Savannah laughs and looks over her shoulder at Jacob who just smiles at her walking in.
“This should be interesting,” Olivia says from beside me, but she isn’t the only one thinking that.
Chapter Thirteen
Jacob
The door closes behind them, and I think it’s only then that I breathe for the first time since I walked in.
I tried to keep my cool in the meeting, tried to ignore that she was so close to me. When Grady asked her if she was dating anyone, I wanted to slam my hand on the table. The meeting in my office didn’t go any better when she stepped out with him. I counted to seven hundred, and he wasn’t back yet, so I made an excuse of needing water. I wasn’t ready to catch him with his hand on her arm. I wanted to rip his arm out of his socket.
I kept my calm, but when she walked out of the room and had a panic attack in front of me, I snapped. I lost my cool, and I did everything I shouldn’t do like take her in my arms and hold her without thinking or telling myself not to. Having her in my arms shifted things in me. I set her down and want to hold her hand, but instead, I watch Olivia talk to her. My chest feels like it’s being crushed seeing her hurt. I shouldn’t fucking care, yet nothing will stop it. I’ve loved her my whole life. I still love her.
I watch her walk out of the office with Casey, making sure she is okay. I stand here with my eyes on her. Grady is next to me, and Monica is next to Grady. “Well, that settles that,” Grady finally says, and I look down at the floor and rub the back of my neck with my hand.
“It really does,” Monica says, shaking her head. “It really sucks she’s pretty.”
Grady laughs and looks at her. “She is fucking beautiful.”
“That’s enough!” I yell at them, my head feeling like it’s going to fucking explode. The front door opens, and Beau and Savannah come in.
“There he is,” Savannah says. “Beau is paying for lunch.”
“Why?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “He bet yet again and lost.” She looks at him.
He reaches out and pulls her in and kisses the top of her head. “You’re a pain in my ass.” She doesn’t move out of his touch. “Always have been.”
“Always will be.” She puts an arm around his waist, looking at me. “Now get your radio.”
“I’m not on duty,” I inform her and then look at Grady. “I’ll call you later, and we can go over everything.”
“Looking forward to it,” he says and turns to go back to his office.
Turning to Monica, I say, “Call me if there is anything.”
“Will do, boss.” She nods, and I walk out of the station.
The three of us walk to the diner. “So what did you bet this time?”
“It’s stupid,” Beau says, and Savannah claps her hands in front of her.
“It was so good,” Savannah says. “Mrs. Hoover was out at the bar last night.” She starts with the nickname we gave to our old principal. Word is she liked to suck cock. Or at least, that is the rumor. “I bet him that she would make a play for him.”
“Oh my God,” I say, putting my hand to my stomach. “Isn’t she like seventy?”
“I swear I heard her tell a couple of the men that she would love to have him leave his boots under her bed,” Savannah teases him as he pulls open the door to the diner.
“You did not,” Beau says to her over his shoulder.
Savannah laughs and looks over her shoulder at me. “I did, too.” I smile and shake my head. There’s never a dull moment with these two. I suddenly bump into Savannah in front of me as I see everyone stare at us. It takes a moment, and I finally see why. There in the middle of the diner is Kallie.
“Oh my God,” Beau says, leaving Savannah and me at the door and going over to her. “Look at you,” he says, smiling. She gets up for him and smiles. He wraps his arms around her and even picks her up. “I heard you were back in town.”
“Are you going to be okay?” Savannah asks, and I don’t look at her. I try to talk myself into not killing my best friend.
Casey looks at me and just glares and shakes his head as if I planned this. As if I knew she would be here. “I’m not hungry anymore,” Savannah says.
“We are all adults,” I say, and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. “We can eat in the same place.”
“Easy for you to say,” she mumbles. “You didn’t have the baby of the man she loves.”
“Loved.” I correct her and usher her to one of the booths as we wait for Beau to return.
We both pretend to read the menu. “Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Beau says, sitting next to Savannah. “You okay?” he asks, and she shakes her head and wipes away a tear.
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