She pushes me off before scrambling to her feet. “Who in the hell are you?”
“I’m Jen, Zay’s friend and neighbor,” I tell her. “Now, who are you and where’s Zay?”
“I’m Shelby,” she says while dusting off the robe she’s wearing. I immediately recognize her name as the cow who makes Zay’s life so difficult at work. OMG, she’s wearing his robe! What if she killed Zay, had to take a shower to get the blood off, and that’s why she’s currently in his robe? That must be what happened because there’s no way in hell Zay would want her here. I dart around the apartment looking for my friend’s lifeless corpse. When I don’t see it, I dash toward his bedroom, slamming the door open with such gusto I’d be surprised if it didn’t leave a hole in the wall behind it.
Zay shouts before I can focus in the dark room. Then I see him. Oh, no. Nonononononononono. Covering my eyes, I yell, “You’re naked!!!”
I hear him scrambling before saying, “I’m covered up now. What are you doing in here?”
“I thought you were dead! You didn’t answer my knock and then I heard noises, and then just when I decided to knock the door down, Shelby opened it.” Shelby, who just joined us in the bedroom.
Clutching a sheet around his waist, Zay introduces us. “Jen, this is Shelby. I’m sure I’ve mentioned her before. We work together.” Then to Shelby, he says, “Shel, this is my high-strung neighbor, Jen.”
“High-strung?” I demand. “I thought you were dead in here!”
Shelby doesn’t say anything until after she takes Zay’s robe off. She’s stark-naked underneath. I clamp my hands over my eyes. There are only so many lilies I need to see.
I hear the bed squeak. “I think it’s time for you to be going now, Janet,” Shelby says before picking up where they obviously left off. Hello, I’m still in the room!
I spread my fingers so I can see a tiny sliver out of my right eye. “It’s Jen,” I tell her before asking Zay, “So, you’re okay?”
“Yup.” His eyes dart toward the door.
“I guess I’ll go home then.” Yet inexplicably my feet aren’t moving.
Shelby stops nibbling my friend’s neck long enough to say, “Any day now.”
“Fine, I’m going to go, but if you need me for anything, Zay, just holler.”
“Oh, he’ll be hollering all right,” Shelby purrs, “but he’s not going to want you coming to the rescue.”
Ew. When my feet finally get the message that it’s time to go, I practically sprint out of Zay’s apartment like I’m running from live bullets. As soon as I open my door, and turn on the light, I’m overcome by a bizarre array of emotions.
Shelby and Zay? Really? How did that even happen? Zay has hated Shelby from the day they started working together. I’m pretty sure she’s the main reason he didn’t want to go into the office. Gah! The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I’m kind of bummed I didn’t get to tell my friend about my awesomely, amazingly, wonderfully perfect (almost, except the trying to get a kiss thing) day. I walk over to Frank and drop a few flakes in his bowl. “Did you see that, buddy? I sold a painting. We’re not flat broke anymore.”
He flutters to the surface and swallows a flake.
“I know, right? I’m excited too. I can probably afford to get you that treasure chest you’ve had your eye on.”
Byrne bought my painting. And I’m now working for his parents! And I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him even though I shouldn’t be.
Feeling utterly restless, I pick up my phone to text God, but I get an incoming message first.
It’s from Audra O’Malley, or Ben’s mom as I call her. Ben is an adorable beagle with the most soulful eyes I’ve ever seen on anyone, dog or human. I love him so much, I use the same picture of him as the screensaver on my phone that Audra uses.
BensMom: Hey Jen, I have a weird question for you.
JFlan: Hey Audra, shoot! But first, how is sweet Ben?
BensMom: He misses you.
JFlan: You were on my list to call tomorrow. I just took a new job and will be working nights. That means I can still walk dogs during the day if you need me.
BensMom: YES!! Hurray! This law firm I’m interning at is working me to death and I haven’t had time to find Ben a new walking buddy.
JFlan: Great, I’ll start back with him Monday morning first thing. Now, what was that question you had for me?
BensMom: You know how we got our phones mixed up that one time?
We both have super old phones, and then there’s the whole screensaver thing.
JFlan: Yup.
BensMom: Well, I was wondering if I put a contact into your phone instead of mine when you were here a couple of weeks ago. The contact name is GOD.
JFlan: What? God is your contact?
BensMom: He’s actually a friend of my brother’s who was going to help me out with some stuff.
JFlan: Wow. Okay then. I mean, yes. You put God’s number into my phone.
I hurry to send it to her and suddenly it hits me. I’ve made a very big mistake.
Chapter Sixteen
Gabe
Text from Mom: Hi Sweetie, I just wanted to see if you got the lovely Jen home last night?
Me: Yup. Safe and sound.
Mom: She’s such a doll, isn’t she? She’d make a wonderful wife.
Me: You sound smitten. Should Dad be worried?
Mom: Oh, you! You know exactly what I meant.
Me: I do. Now please drop it. I’m with Alexis and I’m not a cheater.
Mom: You wouldn’t be a cheater if you broke up with her.
Me: Gotta go Mom …
It’s Sunday morning, and I barely slept a wink last night instead of conking off—like I should have done now that I’m no longer helping to destroy a man—I tossed and turned, more restless than I’ve ever felt in my life.
Finally, at six, I give up and make some coffee. Then I sit in front of Jen’s painting temporarily perched above my hutch in the living room. Alexis picked out that particular piece of furniture at the Chelsea swap meet, although she called it an étagère. I called it a bookcase, so we ultimately compromised on calling it a hutch.
In the early morning light, Jen’s lily is really pink. It’s mesmerizing, just like the artist who painted it. The same artist I have to quit thinking about because I’m in a committed relationship. But every time I look at the painting, a sense of calm comes over me, pushing away the worry that’s been chasing me ever since my big blow-up with Phillip on Friday. Seriously, my stomach’s churning like there’s a tiny pioneer woman with a long wooden stick making butter in there.
The good thing is that I have an entire week to decide what I’m going to do about work, even though I already know what that decision is if the partners don’t deviate from their current path. My door buzzer goes off. Just what I’m not hoping for, company. I walk over to the intercom, silently praying it’s not Alexis. I really need to make some decisions before I face her. “Hello?”
“Hey, babe,” Alexis says. “Surprise!”
Awesome. I pause for a second before saying, “Come on up.” Then I buzz her in.
While I wait, I realize we’re about to have not one, but two fights because she’s going to hate Jen’s painting. I wonder if she’d think it’s weird if I meet her at the elevator and suggest we go for brunch …
“Oh, Gabe, you coward,” I mutter to myself. I’m not scared of her. I’m a man, dammit. If I want an enormous pink lily on my wall, I’ll have one. The knock at the door deflates my bravado just the tiniest bit. As I swing it open, Alexis launches herself into my arms. “There’s my guy!”
She plants a big kiss on my lips. When she finally releases me, I say, “Wow. What was that about?”
Walking past me to put her purse on my counter, she says, “I don’t know. I just really feel like we’ve been so … disconnected lately, and I think it’s all my fault. I mean, being a part
ner is so much responsibility.”
Of course.
Alexis bats her lashes and smiles seductively. “I know I’ve been neglecting you horribly and I couldn’t let another day go by with me stuck in my office and you here all alone.”
“That’s okay, Al,” I tell her. “I don’t resent you for the hours you put in at work. I know how much you love it.”
She sighs and wraps her arms around me. “I know you do. You’re the best boyfriend ever. So many of the other partners at the office whine about how mad their wives get, but not you. You get it.”
Now I’m her wife? This whole getting partner before me thing is turning into quite the emasculating experience. I pull away and raise my eyebrows at her comparison.
She seems to pick up on my thoughts because she quickly shakes her head. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.” Pointing at her mouth, she says, “Insert foot here. Gah!” Then she laughs awkwardly.
“Why are you here?” I ask her. Alexis is not one to just stop by without making plans first. “Are you okay?”
“Totally, great,” she says. “Well, to be honest, Rex Payne—you know Rex, one of the original three—he’s getting a divorce. I guess his wife just had it with being alone, so on Thursday, she served him divorce papers right at the office. Poor guy, it was so humiliating. Anyway, it got me thinking about how much I work and that I can’t even remember the last time we … you know …” she tilts her head in the direction of the bedroom. Taking both my hands in hers, she says, “And I just don’t want to end up like Rex.”
I should be much happier about this confession than I am. She’s saying all the right things and is finally recognizing how disconnected we are. And yet … “Can I get you a coffee?”
Shaking her head, she gives me the bedroom eyes I haven’t seen in a long time. “That’s not why I came by.”
She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the bedroom, then stops in her tracks and drops my hand when she sees the painting. “What in the hell is that?”
“A lily.”
“A lily? Because it looks exactly like someone’s hoohah.”
“It’s not. It’s a flower.”
“Why would you buy that?” she asks, wrinkling up her nose like she’s smelling fresh skunk. “Did you buy it, or did you find it in a dumpster? Because I’d be totally happy to help you return it to one before we, you know …” She gestures toward the bedroom again.
A feeling of defensiveness comes over me. “That is a Jennifer Flanders original,” I tell her, as though that’s something she should know. “It’s worth thousands of dollars.”
“Tell me you didn’t spend thousands of dollars on ... on that,” she spits out.
“I did,” I answer with a forceful nod of my head. “I love it. It’s a total conversation piece.”
“Uh, yeah, if you want people talking about why you have a vagina hanging on the wall!” She’s mad now. I can see the wheels turning in her brain. She’s going to start building her case for me to sell it. And I’m not going to do that. Ever. “Well, you can’t keep it. I mean, fine, if you want it for now, but when we’re married, it’s got to go. I’m not having something like that hanging in my home. Not when we have kids running around. What will the other parents think?” She answers for me, “They’ll think we’re a couple of perverts.”
“Objection, Your Honor,” I say to let her know I’m on to what she’s doing. “I have a right to buy fine art and decide if and when I’m going to sell it.”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. “I didn’t know you even cared about art.”
“It’s a new interest.” I should feel very guilty, I really should. But I don’t because I don’t really care what Alexis thinks. The truth slams into me like a wrecking ball knocking over a building. I’m not sure I love Alexis anymore. Lately, I don’t even like her that much.
“Listen, Al, we need to talk,” I say, gesturing to the couch. “Something happened at work and I need to tell you about it because it’s going to impact our plan.” How she reacts to my news will definitely affect our future, as in, if we still have one.
She freezes in place. “What?”
“Let’s sit down,” I tell her and make my way over to my armchair, leaving the entire couch for her.
When she finally sits, her jaw is so rigid, it looks locked. It’s obvious she’s preparing herself for bad news. And to her, that’s what this will be. I take a deep breath and start to tell her everything—about Enzo Bulgari and what I’m about to do to him, and how I’ve been feeling about my work lately and how I don’t think I can do it anymore. She says nothing, she just stares stoically as I bare my soul. I finish with, “So, that’s it. I told them I’d think about everything for a few days, but I’m not going to stay there.” Noting her look of horror, I add, “This will give me a chance to get back to the guy you met in law school—the one who wanted to help people.” Remember, the guy you fell in love with? I think, but don’t say.
She continues to stare without saying a word, and in my heart, I know this is the end for us. I wait while she clears her throat and starts to speak. Her voice is quiet. “Are you trying to hurt me?”
“No,” I say, utterly confused at how she could think that was my motivation.
“Are you sure? Because it feels like it.” Alexis folds her hands on her lap, looking prim and proper. “We had a plan, Gabriel. You’re supposed to be going for partnership so we can finally settle down. But instead, you’re quitting—over nothing, if you ask me—which really makes me feel like you’re trying to get out of a future with me.”
I let out a long puff of air. “This isn’t about you or about us. It’s about me and the fact that I hate hurting people and I don’t want to do it anymore.” I stand and pace to the window and back, suddenly filled with agitation. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to feel like a slimy suit anymore. I want to be better than this. I want to do better things.”
“Like what? Hang a vagina on your wall?” she asks incredulously.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Waving her hand around at me, she says, “Clearly you’re having some sort of breakdown. First, you buy a pornographic painting, and now you want to leave your job? After seven years of busting your butt to get to the top? Who are you?”
“I’m trying to figure that out, and it would be nice if you could try to be a little more supportive,” I say, raising my voice. “I’m telling you I’m not happy at work and I need to make a change. It’s not a breakdown and it’s not about our relationship. It’s something I need to do for me. Can’t you understand that at all?”
“No!” She stands up and starts toward the foyer, then stops and turns around to face me. “This is … ridiculous. And disruptive. And frankly, I don’t need it right now. Not with the pressure I’m under. I can’t handle you going all nuts on me when you’re supposed to be my rock!”
She’s so wound up, she’s radiating the energy of a bottle rocket about to go off. I stare at her, and for the first time, I really see her for who she is, and I know that I can’t spend another minute being in a relationship with her. “Alexis, this isn’t working.”
“Pardon me?” she asks.
Pointing back and forth between us, I say, “This isn’t working.”
Her head snaps back and she says, “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Yeah,” I say with a sad nod. “I’m sorry, but I think it’s for the best.”
“No. No way,” she says, crossing her arms across her chest. “This is just a rough patch, and once you come to your senses, everything will be fine. Every couple has rough patches, and when they get to the other side, they’re stronger than ever. We just need to get to the other side.”
Shaking my head adamantly, I tell her. “No. Because you think that my needing to make a change in my job is the problem. And the only way you want to be with me is if I agree to be miserable in my work and stick to our pl
an. But I’ve changed, Alexis. I want more. I want to be happy.”
“Following through with our plan will make us both happy, Gabe. You know it will.” She sounds so certain.
“Not this time,” I tell her, my heart pounding wildly at what I’m doing. Eight years of my life is about to end. Right now. As terrifying as that is, I know it’s exactly what I have to do. Running my hand through my hair, I say, “We’ve been holding onto something because it’s safe and familiar. But I don’t think we’ve been in love with each other for a long time now.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “I am totally in love with you.”
“You’re in love with who you want me to be,” I tell her. “But you’re not in love with me. If you were, you’d care that I’m not happy in my professional life.”
“I care.” God, she’s stubborn.
“If you were in love with me, would you have really had a headache for the last six months?”
“You don’t know the stress I’m under!” she yells through the tears that are still threatening to spill. “I’m the youngest female partner in the history of our firm. I have to be better than everyone else. I can’t make even one mistake. Not one or they’ll all turn their backs on me.”
The expression on her face makes me feel really sad for her. “I’m sure that’s hard.”
“It is hard!” She sniffs. “Really friggin’ hard. And, to be honest, I feel really alone there. And I’m counting on you, but now you’re telling me you don’t want me anymore and you don’t want the life we have planned.”
“I’m sorry. I really am,” I say. “But I’m also right about us and deep down you know it too.”
“What am I going to do?” she asks, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t be alone, Gabe. Not after all this time!”
As right as this is, it is a gut-wrenching thing to hurt someone you’ve been with for so long. “You’re going to be fine without me. Better than fine, because you’ll find a guy who wants everything you want.” I sigh. “I’m not him. And I haven’t been him for a long time.”
The Text God: Text and You Shall Receive ... (An Accidentally in Love Story Book 2) Page 10
