SAX
Book 4
Desert Rebels MC Series
By
Tory Richards
Copyright © 2020 Tory Richards
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Table of Contents
Copyright Page
Sax (Desert Rebels MC, #4)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
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Editor: Alisha Corsi
Cover Designer: Madelene Martin
Chapter 1
Holly
I GENTLY LAID AVA DOWN on her back in her crib, smiling when she immediately rolled over into her preferred position, scrunched her little body up, and thrust her bottom into the air. I didn't cover her. She had on a full onesie that would keep her warm from neck to toe. I tenderly brushed my hand over her baby-soft curls and felt my heart swell at how much I loved her. The intense feeling was akin to how strongly I still felt about Sax.
I didn't dwell on the question of who her father might be, accepting the fact that it was any one of five men, four of whom had raped me when Raven, Bobbie, and I had been kidnapped the year before. After I’d been rescued by Sax and his brothers, I’d tried to move on with my life. But six weeks later, when I’d found out that I was pregnant, the whole ordeal of the rape, combined with the fact that Sax did not want children, had forced me to make a decision that I'd felt was best for everyone involved.
At a little over three months along, I'd officially broken it off with Sax and left the Las Vegas area to have my baby. Breaking up with the only man that I'd ever loved—the man that I still loved—had nearly destroyed me. But I’d known that he would never accept the baby, even if it were his. He'd been patient and understanding with me after the attack, but I'd taken the coward’s way out, letting him believe that the reason I was breaking up with him had to do with the assault and my inability to cope with it, rather than my pregnancy that he knew nothing about.
I was going to go to Hell for that, and for the terrible secret that I'd kept from everyone.
My intentions had been good. I’d wanted Sax to hate me, to move on with his life and find someone else so that by the time I returned with a baby he wouldn't question it or give a damn. I may have stayed away forever if it hadn't been for the old ladies in the club, and my best friend, Bailey. A mother of four, her advice and wisdom had come in handy during my pregnancy and over the months that followed. It would have been scary going through all of that completely alone.
Now I was back in Nevada, and it felt good. This was where I belonged, where I wanted my daughter to grow up. It had taken me a couple of months to make all of the arrangements for the move once I'd made up my mind that it was time to go back. Moving with an infant wasn't easy, but Bailey, Raven, and Jolene had helped me out in a big way. And even though I was no longer an old lady to one of the Desert Rebels, I was welcomed back by them as family.
Bailey had provided me with an extra crib that she’d had available after her triplets had outgrown theirs, along with a playpen and a baby swing. Bobbie and Jolene had scoured the outskirts of Las Vegas and found the perfect little Southwestern-style casita for us. It only had three rooms: a bedroom for Ava and I to share, a bathroom, and the main room was broken up into a small living area and kitchen. The casita had been vacant for a long time, but the walls had a fresh coat of paint, and the windows, kitchen, and bathroom had been scrubbed down. The floors had been covered with beautiful throw rugs. By the time I'd arrived, Bobbie and Jolene had even furnished the place for me.
I'd decided to stay in the Vegas area for work, but deep down I wondered if I’d chosen to work away from the home base of the Desert Rebels in order to put distance between me and Sax. He'd gone nomad after I'd left, but I knew the day would come when he would return. Desert Rebels was in his blood. He would never leave them for good.
If only things could have worked out between us. Leaving Sax had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, and it was all on me. Finding out that I was pregnant had devastated me. As much as I'd wanted a baby, I’d wanted Sax's baby. But I did not know whose baby I was carrying, and even if I had, Sax had no interest in being a father. Breaking it off with him had seemed like the best solution at the time, because there was no way I was going to get rid of my baby. My plan had been simple, if not a little naïve, and I’d prayed that time apart would be my friend. Time could heal a lot of things.
I crept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind me, releasing a long sigh.
"She should stay asleep until morning now." I walked back to the sofa where Bailey was sitting and texting. "I owe Moody for letting you come and stay with me for a couple of days. I didn't realize I'd need the help." I'd had a few boxes to unpack and the kitchen to set up.
Bailey glanced up from her phone, setting it off to the side. "Honey, we women never think we need help because we try to do it all. And Moody encouraged me to come. He said I needed time away from the kids." She reached for her glass of water. "He was right. I can't remember a time when I wasn't up to my elbows in bottles and diapers."
I couldn't help laughing. "What about Moody?"
"He gets plenty of time away from the kids. He still has his bar to run, and he takes on the occasional job."
Neither of us delved further into the type of "job" Moody might be taking, because Moody was a nomad, and like the Desert Rebels, he never discussed business. After the triplets had arrived he'd stopped accepting work so that he could stay home, but now that they were older, he'd gradually started taking on jobs again.
"Speaking of jobs—did you hear from Crickets?"
Crickets was a new restaurant opening up close to the Las Vegas strip. "Yes!" I got excited just thinking about it. "They called me in for an interview the day after I dropped off my application and offered me the hostess position. Demon is letting me work at Grinders until they open."
"When do you start there?"
"Not until Monday night, so I have the next four days to enjoy. Bobbie has invited us to spend the weekend with her and Demon. The club is having a kind of welcome home for me and a celebration for Jolene and LD at the same time. He's officially claiming her."
"What about when you start work? What are you going to do with Ava?
"Annabelle is going to take her for me until I find a permanent sitter. Hey, did you hear that she and Jolene's brother, Danny, are a thing?"
Bailey nodded. "I'm hap
py for her, and he seems like a nice guy."
"He's always been a nice guy, just not very reliable or smart with his decision-making. LD got him out of some big trouble not too long ago, and now Danny is working it off for the club."
"So I heard. Honey, I wish I was close enough to help out with Ava."
"As if you don't have enough kids to worry about. What's one more, right?" We laughed together, and then a funny look came over Bailey's face that made me narrow my eyes at her. She didn't have to say anything—the truth was right there on her face. "Oh, my God! You're pregnant right now, aren't you?" No wonder she'd refused the wine I'd offered earlier.
She nodded with a glowing smile. "Moody's going to flip when I tell him. He's always said that he was going to put five babies in my belly, and you know how our men are—possessive, sexual beasts." As if she’d just realized what she'd said, her face fell and her hand covered her runaway mouth. "God, honey, I'm sorry—"
I don't know how I kept the smile on my face, even while knowing that Bailey would see right through it. We'd practically grown up together, and had been besties long before Moody and Sax had come into our lives. I took a deep breath to calm the emotion threatening to spill over.
"Don't fret, honey. Sax is my cross to bear, and now that I'm back we're probably going to cross paths. I don't want anyone being uncomfortable with saying his name or talking about him in my presence." I'd already had that same conversation with Raven and Bobbie, and they'd promised to pass it on to the other ladies in the club. "So, how far along do you think you are?"
"Almost three-and-a-half months."
My eyes grew big. "And you haven't told Moody?"
She shook her head. "He's been gone on one of his mysterious jobs," she joked, holding up air quotes. I remember now, she'd already told me that her friend, Emily, was staying with the kids. She and Tommy, the bartender at Moody's bar, Naked Lady, were expecting their first, and Bailey had thought that it would be a good experience for her. "And I'm not going to tell him he's going to be a daddy for the fifth time over the phone."
"I can't believe this is number five," I said in awe. "I guess I'm lucky that I have one." There was a wistful note in my tone. I thanked God every day for giving me Ava. I'd wanted a baby so badly when I'd been with Sax, but he'd been adamant that we not raise any children in the club. It hadn’t mattered to him that his brothers were doing it, and doing it happily.
Bailey reached over and took my hand. "Maybe you and Sax—"
I shook my head before she could finish. "I can't see that happening. The only fighting we ever did was over the subject of having kids. Once he sees Ava that will be all he needs to move on, if he hasn't already."
"Well, then maybe we should work on finding you someone who wants a family."
I returned Bailey's smile. "It's much too soon for that. I'd have to stop loving Sax first, and that's going to take some time." I met the hopefulness in her eyes. "I've loved having you here the last two days, honey. It's been nice catching up."
"It has. Let's do this again soon. Next time you and Ava come to my place. Now that the renovations are done, we have a beautiful, spacious guest room." She and Moody lived in a huge adobe-style house in the desert, but the layout hadn't been conducive to their growing family.
"I'd like that." I sighed heavily. "Do you really have to go in the morning?" I already knew the answer. Of course she did. The woman had four kids and she missed them like crazy.
"Afraid so. Emily has already had to call in reinforcements to help manage." We both laughed. "And you have a welcome home party to go to."
"Yeah." I was looking forward to seeing and catching up with everyone that I hadn't yet had a chance to. Knowing that Sax wouldn't be there had made it an easy decision for me to make. I wasn't sure that I'd ever be ready to face him again.
And if he'd moved on?
I'd have to deal with it.
Chapter 2
Sax
I was ready to return home. I'd been away from my club for far too long. Missed my brothers, missed what was happening. Keeping in touch hadn't been on my agenda when I'd gone nomad. I hadn't wanted to know what was going on, and I sure as hell hadn't wanted any news about Holly. Demon had known that I'd needed to distance myself from shit until I could figure out what the fuck had gone wrong in my life.
And why the woman I loved had torn out my fucking heart.
I still couldn't get her last words to me out of my head. They haunted me even in my sleep. How easily she'd broken it off with me, and then just left. For a long time, I'd blamed what had happened to her, the incident still too raw and fresh on her mind for her to deal with anything else in her life. That she hadn't been able to cope. I'd given her time, been understanding when she'd asked me to move into the guest room. But fuck if it hadn't hurt when she pushed me away.
I'd thought we were stronger than that. The fuckers who'd kidnapped our women and assaulted Holly were dead, but I knew that there was something else that had happened to her, something she'd kept from me that had eventually worn her down. I'd probably never know what that something was. Once she'd taken off for parts unknown it had hit me like a fucking ton of bricks. We were really done. She was gone, and no one knew if she was coming back.
We. Were. Done.
Christ, accepting that hurt like a bitch. I’d spent the last few months just roaming the country, sleeping beneath the stars. Keeping to the back roads to suck in the undeveloped countryside. The kind of peace and quiet where a man could reflect on shit. After a while though, the peace and quiet had become too fucking much, and I'd started hitting the bars. Not looking for companionship, just the familiar sounds of bottles clinking and inaudible conversations that filled the room with so much noise that you couldn't think.
The women who approached me were immediately shot down. I wasn't interested in strange pussy. Holly was the only woman I wanted beneath me. That was made glaringly obvious when a striper at one of the bars that I'd stopped in invited me into the alley in the back of the bar for a quick fuck. I'd blamed my inability to get it up on too much fucking alcohol. Not even her painted mouth had been able to get a rise out of me. Every time I'd looked down at her and seen a face other than Holly’s, it had killed my libido.
The bartender was welcomed, though, and he kept my fucking glass filled. Usually a beer man, somewhere along the way I'd switched to tequila. I drank as much as I could and still handle my bike, and then I'd go find a tree to sleep it off under. Come morning, I'd wake up stiff and sore and with a hangover that lingered all damned day. Still, I'd move on, determined to outride my demons, and the woman's face that haunted me day and night.
During the months that I was on the road I'd had to work my way through a gamut of emotions ranging from hurt and loss to anger, and then, finally, hate. I berated myself for my fucking weakness. I was a one percenter, for Christ's sake, a member of the Desert Rebels; letting my emotions play with me wasn't something I'd ever done before. My brothers and I were strong, fierce warriors, and we ruled our MC that way. I thanked fuck that they weren't around to see me break over a woman.
Over Holly.
My woman.
We'd had a good run, and I sure as shit had never seen the end coming. Hell, we’d only ever fought over the subject of having kids. She couldn't understand why I didn't want any, and, looking back now, I could see where my reasoning had been weak. A lot of my brothers had families. The kids in the club were happy and well-protected. Maybe if I'd been able to tell Holly the truth about what lay behind my decision she would have accepted it better.
Jesus, I should have told her the truth.
Would it have made a difference? I wondered. She hadn't left because I didn't want kids, she'd gone because of what happened to her after she had been abducted. Had she thought that I'd blamed her in some way? Looked at her differently? Had I treated her differently? Fuck. I had. But not for the reasons she probably thought. I was giving her time, time I thought any woman would ne
ed after being violated. No man wanted to think of another man touching his woman, and knowing what she'd suffered had fucking destroyed me, but I'd never thought that any of it was her fault.
I'd blamed myself for not keeping her safe, for not protecting her.
That had been my job, and I'd fucking failed.
I ran my hands through my long hair and gave my head a shake. I had to stop thinking about this shit. What's done is done, and no amount of stewing over it was going to change anything. I'd leave Holly alone as she'd asked me to do. I'd pretend that we hadn't meant anything to each other when and if I ran into her again. Forget about the fucking years we'd been inseparable and happy. Forget about how we’d talked about our future together. I had to get a grip and move on as she'd begged me to do.
Yeah. Move on. Like LD. The poor brother had finally moved on with his life after his wife and kid had been murdered, but it had taken him years to get there. I couldn't imagine ever getting over something like that. I was happy that he’d found Jolene. I'd met her, but didn't really know her, but if she made LD whole again I was already half in love with her. The last time I'd contacted Demon, he'd filled me in that LD was planning to claim her officially on the day that I returned.
That brought me back to the memory of the day that I'd claimed Holly. Damn, that girl had been a little wildcat! So soft and sweet to the world on the outside, but a sexual, demanding nymph in the bedroom. She'd owned my balls as well as my dick, making the sex between us memorable every fucking time. The day I'd made her officially mine had been no different—even knowing that we had an audience she'd shamelessly given herself to me.
I'd taken her out to Sunrise Heights, the official spot for where my brothers went to claim their old ladies. The rules had been set in place by the founding members of the MC, and were simple—fuck her in front of one or more brothers, and they returned to the clubhouse to confirm the official claiming. Most of my brothers didn't tell their women beforehand that they were being watched, which made for a very steamy, no-holds-barred fuck session.
Sax Page 1
