"Hello?"
I recognized Candy's cheerful voice. "Hey, Candy, it's me."
"Hey!" she returned with even more enthusiasm. "We've already heard from Demon, honey. You're job is waiting for you. Samson put you back on the schedule starting tomorrow night, if you're ready."
"I'm more than ready," I confessed.
"So what happened with Crickets?" I could tell by her breathing that she was moving around, probably filling drinks.
Being reminded of Crickets pissed me off, but it wasn't Candy's fault. "It fell through. I'll tell you about it tomorrow at work."
"Okay, see you at four."
From the background noise, I could tell that she was busy. "See you then." As we disconnected, I realized that I would need to call Annabelle too. Lord, if she couldn't continue to watch Ava I didn’t know what I was going to do.
I found myself in the kitchen. I would have given anything for a glass of wine, but I was still giving Ava breast milk. It wouldn't be long before she was strictly on the bottle, but I could still pump milk for her.
I opened the fridge, my gaze landing on the three full bottles before finding the water I was looking for at the back. I reached for it, changed my mind, and snatched an apple instead.
The house seemed too quiet now that Ava was asleep and the TV wasn't on. It was times like now when I was reminded of how far from it all we lived. I liked the peace and quiet, but the fact that there was a member from Desert Rebels standing guard across the road made me nervous and hyperaware of the dangers that lurked there.
I pulled back the curtain and looked across the road, taking a bite of my apple. Frenchie had been replaced with Jolly and Morton. Both men were sitting casually on their bikes, smoking, and I had to wonder how they were going to get through the night like that. At least Frenchie had gotten a break during the day when he’d followed me to the park with Ava.
Jolly noticed me watching them from my window and waved. Smiling, I waved back, and then let the curtain fall back into place and moved away. No sooner had I turned around when I heard the sound of a motorcycle coming down the road. Frowning, I peeked out the window again.
It was Sax.
Finally! I'd texted him three days before to let him know that I had the DNA kit and needed his sample. He had said he would come later that day but had been a no-show. Not even a call to let me know that he wasn't coming. I went to the door and opened it before he had a chance to knock.
His eyes raked over me with familiarity, bringing an instant rush of heat to my core. It wasn't just a look, it was a visual caress that my entire body felt and responded to in a big way. I took a bite of my apple to hide my reaction from him.
"Sorry I'm late." He moved past me into the house. "Something came up the other day."
I closed the door. "I figured that. Still, it would have been nice if you'd called."
He turned to me, and his eyes dropped to my mouth as he watched me chew for a minute. My tongue came out to catch the sweet juice at the corner of my lip. The next thing I knew, Sax grabbed the apple out of my hand and took a bite.
"Haven't eaten today."
"It's seven o'clock."
"Know what time it is." He seemed grumpy. "Been busy." He took another bite, chewing with a slight frown between his eyes. "You walk around like that when my brothers are parked outside?"
I glanced down at myself. I was wearing a lot more clothing than I would have at the beach. My tank stopped below my breasts, revealing a strip of flesh to where my boy shorts covered up my lower half. It amused me that Sax was worried that I was giving his brothers a show. "I didn't know they had x-ray vision," I said smartly.
He grunted. "Where's Ava?"
"Down for the night." My gaze ran over him. He looked as if he'd been on the road a few days. Dirty. Tired. In a mood that said, “don't fuck with me.” "You need a shower," I said, noticing that his usually pleasant scent of worn leather, smoke, and the outdoors was spiked with the sweat of a man who'd worked some long, hard hours.
"You offering?"
I blinked for a few seconds. Was he serious? He'd only come to give me a sample, but suddenly I wanted to turn it into something more. I'd missed him, even though things had been strained between us lately. Seeing him like this reminded me of all the times he'd come home in the same way he was now, needing the comfort and attention that I'd gladly given him. But in those days he would walk through the door, sweep me up into his arms for a long, hard kiss, cop a feel, and then head off to the bathroom.
"I don't mind if you want to get a shower, Sax. I can toss your clothes into the washer so you don't have to put dirty clothes back on."
I wondered what he was thinking as he stood silently staring at me. God, I wanted to see his face soften towards me like it used to. Maybe he just wanted to do what he’d come there to do and then leave. Damn. I felt the sting behind my eyes that warned me I was getting emotional.
"You got something I can put on?"
I thought about the old pair of sweats of his that I'd claimed and couldn't bear to part with. "Yes." I turned to walk away. "Leave your dirty clothes outside the bathroom door."
By the time I'd dug out the sweats and reached the bathroom door, Sax's clothes were on the floor where I'd asked him to leave them. I could hear the shower running, and I opened the door just enough to slip the sweats in and leave them on the counter by the sink. The tiny room was already steamed up with the scent of my feminine body wash, causing a smile to spread across my face.
I backed out and scooped up his clothes. I set his cut on the washer and put his clothes inside before heading to the kitchen to make him something to eat. Just like old times, and I had to admit that it felt good. I took out the hamburger that I'd defrosted for spaghetti sauce that I planned to make the next day, and made him two huge burgers. The frozen buns wouldn't take long to defrost in the microwave. By the time I'd topped his burgers off with mustard—he didn't like ketchup—lettuce, cheese, and tomato, he walked into the room, bringing with him the fresh scent of rose and vanilla.
I set his plate down on the table. "Eat."
"You didn't have to go to the trouble, but thanks. I'm starved."
We made eye contact briefly when I turned to go back to the kitchen to get him a beer. God, he was sexy, standing there in nothing but low-hanging sweats, his muscular chest and washboard abs beckoning me to reach out and touch him. My eyes followed the enticing v-shaped muscle to where it disappeared in his pelvic region, bringing attention to the prominent bulge of his cock. I didn't even try to pretend that Sax didn't affect me. His rugged handsomeness would turn any woman on, and we had too much history, Years of learning each other’s bodies and giving in to the intense, mutual attraction.
By the time I set a beer down next to his plate, he'd almost finished one of the burgers. I smiled and went to the front door, opening it. "Would either of you like coffee?" I called out, loud enough so the guys across the road could hear me.
"Thanks, that'd be great!" Jolly yelled back.
"You're poking the bear, Baby."
I glanced back to see Sax's smoldering gaze run down the length of me. I rolled my eyes and returned to the kitchen to put on a pot.
"They're here to keep you and Ava safe, not for you to wait on them," Sax said before taking a drink of his beer. "Or show them your tits and ass."
That last part was said so low, I'd barely heard him. "I'm decent enough." I pulled down two cups, keeping my back to him, grinning when I felt my shorts pull up to expose more of my butt. His growl told me that he'd noticed. "And it's just coffee, Sax, it'll help keep them awake."
He didn't say anything after that, instead focusing on his second burger. I knew the minute he was done, because he released a noisy, contented sigh and sat back in his chair, a look of satisfaction on his face. His hand rubbed up and down his full belly.
"That was good."
Smiling at the domestic picture he made, I poured the coffee. "Would you like another beer
?" As soon as I asked I remembered that he would have to ride back to the clubhouse, but I knew that two beers wouldn't be enough to inebriate him.
I heard his chair scoot back. "I'll get it."
Suddenly we were both in my too-small kitchen. I felt the heat of his presence behind me as I placed the two cups of coffee onto a small baking tray. I closed my eyes, his scent and warmth flooding me with the memories of how good we’d been together, while leaving me with a feeling of immense loss. I tensed when I felt his hand at the hair behind my ear. He moved it aside, and then I felt his lips against my ear.
"Seems just like old times."
I shivered as his warm breath ran over me. "I'm—"
He growled low in a threatening tone, "You say you're sorry one more time, I'm going to lose it, Baby."
I clamped my mouth shut tight and stood quivering at his closeness. Somehow I found the courage to ask, "Are you going to spank me again?"
A grunt was his response. "Check my clothes while I take the coffee out to my brothers."
I didn't even think to bitch at him for being so bossy. "Okay."
He stepped away from me and reached for the tray. Once he left the kitchen I went to put his clothes into the dryer. I stood there for a minute, gripping the corner edges of the dryer, and tried to calm the arousal rolling through me. It felt like a tidal wave that threatened to suck me under and never let me up. I wanted Sax, and not just for sex, but at this point I would take him any way that I could get him. But he'd have to make the first move.
The crippling fear of rejection would keep me from acting on my desires.
I heard the door close, and then the telltale click of the lock. When the sound of Sax setting the tray down on the kitchen counter carried to me, I was finally able to move. I turned the corner to see him clearing his plate off the table and taking it to the sink. He must have sensed me there, because he turned and leaned against the sink and crossed his arms. His eyes dropped lazily down to my breasts, and I knew that he could see my nipples hardening. I knew it because I could feel the sharp tingle of them as they peaked against my thin tank.
He looked up and released a harsh breath. "Let's get this DNA shit done."
"The kit is right behind you."
He pivoted and reached for the box.
"You'll need to take four swabs of the inside of your cheek and put them in one of the sample envelopes. I've already done Ava's."
I knew that Sax had heard me, even though he was reading the box. I knew that I’d chosen a reliable kit because I'd called the doctor's office for a recommendation, and we'd have the results within a week.
Once Sax seemed satisfied with what he'd read, he swabbed the inside of his cheeks four times and placed the swabs in an envelope. As he sealed it closed, his eyes came to me.
"I'll let you know when the results come in." I smiled even though I didn't feel like it. "So, um, is all the trouble done at the club?"
"Still have loose ends to tie up. Until then, you and Ava will be watched." He crossed his arms.
"Pff, there's always loose ends. Can I ask you something?" The briefest nod of his head was my response. "What happens if—" I caught myself, afraid to put my thoughts into words, even more afraid of what his answer would be. I'd had the last four days to think about what I could expect after the test results came back. I knew that Sax was angry, maybe even hated me a little, but now that he'd showered and eaten, he appeared more approachable, easier to talk to.
Did I want to ruin the mood?
"That's a pretty open-ended question," he finally said when the silence grew between us. "You've never been afraid to speak your mind before."
The corners of my lips turned up, but it could hardly be considered a smile. "That was before, when I knew where I stood with you." I swallowed. "When I knew what I could expect."
"Just spit it out, Holly." When he said my name like that, I knew he was getting annoyed. "What's the worst that could happen, huh? Have I ever hurt you?"
I knew he didn’t mean physically. Although..."You did spank me the other day."
Amusement gleamed in his eyes as he snorted loudly. "You deserved that." He paused for a second. "And it turned you on more than pissed you off."
It had turned him on, too. I felt my cheeks heat as I recalled what had followed. We'd both gotten something out of it.
"Ask your question, Baby."
What’s the worst that could happen, other than hearing the truth? I sucked in a deep breath and spit it out in one breath. "What's going to happen if we find out that Ava is yours?"
There, it was out. The humor disappeared from Sax’s eyes, replaced with a deep intensity that reached all the way to my soul.
He finally exhaled a heavy breath and lowered his arms. "Are you asking for Ava, or are you asking for you?"
"For both of us," I answered truthfully.
He shrugged. "Told you I'd take care of any kid of mine."
Yes, he had, financially, but not emotionally. I knew something had happened to Sax when he was a child, something terrible, something so traumatizing that he couldn't, or wouldn’t, talk about it. He'd never alluded to anything, it was just a strong feeling that I had. It wasn't just that he didn't want children—he was scared of having them. And to see a man like Sax scared of something was frightening in itself.
As we stood there, eyes locked, I could see the fear in his now. Even his big, strong body, his bad ass biker persona, couldn't disguise the raw emotion of pain. I knew him too well. His silent suffering broke my heart. I wanted to help him, but in the past, he’d shut me out any time that we'd discussed having children.
The kitchen island was between us. I moved closer to it, closer to him. So far Sax hadn't moved from where he was casually leaning against the sink, looking relaxed, when I knew he was anything but.
"What exactly does that mean, Sax?" I wanted to hear the words. "If Ava's your daughter, are you going to be around for her? Are you going to be part of her life?"
A muscle twitched in his jaw. His eyes narrowed on me, and I knew he wasn't happy being backed into a corner. "Not going to discuss this now when it could be for nothing."
His cold response made me so angry. And sad. He didn't want to talk about it? Tears filled my eyes when I thought about my precious daughter asleep in her crib. "Maybe it would be better if it turns out that Ava isn't yours," I mumbled without thinking. Sax's mouth tightened a fraction more, showing his displeasure. I watched the play of emotions move over his face, instantly sorry for what I'd said.
"I didn't mean that," I said sincerely.
He surprised me by saying, "I know."
Chapter 27
Sax
I was afraid to move from my spot against the sink. Holly looked so damned sexy in her tiny sleep shorts and tank, all of her curves on display, and my hands itched to touch her. If that happened, it wouldn't take long for me to have her beneath me. I might have been pissed off for the shit she'd put us through, but I couldn’t seem to stop wanting her. Needing her. I was torn, because I wanted to fuck her as much as I wanted to punish her.
I could tell from the look in her watchful eyes that she still wanted me. I wondered if she would still feel the same if I told her the truth. The difference between my secret and hers was that mine wouldn't hurt anyone. It was all mine. I'd lived it, I'd survived it. And it wasn't lost on me that I'd let it fester like a cancer inside that wouldn't go away.
"Would you like anything else?"
A loaded question. There was a nervous little smile on face. And was that an invitation in her eyes? Fuck, yeah. She was aroused and fighting it. Her little nipples were hard as pebbles and pointed in my direction, taunting me to taste them. I was willing to bet that she was wet, too. My dick reacted to that enticing thought. I'd never had to work hard at making Holly wet for me. I wished I were strong enough to walk away, but fuck if I didn't want to slide between her legs and lose myself in her sweet pussy.
The dryer buzzer went off, and
Holly used that to make her escape. She spun around and disappeared around the corner. I ground my back teeth and closed my eyes, begging the powers that be for strength to ignore the sharp pull between us, but the hunger only grew. I needed to get dressed and get the hell out of there.
"God, give me strength!" I muttered in a harsh whisper, and then I pounded my fist against the cupboard door with frustration. My dick was in full fuck mode now and demanding that I do something about it. I moved briskly through the kitchen and rounded the corner in time to see Holly folding my pants. When our eyes met there was no stopping me, and I could tell that she didn't want me to. She didn't move as I moved up behind her and boxed her in with my arms.
I pressed my aching dick into her fleshy bottom with a savage groan. "God, help me, I can’t stop wanting you."
A little moan escaped her as she rubbed her ass against my throbbing cock. "I want you, too, Sax." Her breathy words were full of barely suppressed emotion. I could feel her trembling against me. "I—"
"No talking." I mouthed the words against her ear. I wanted to wrap myself around her tight little body and lose myself in the feeling, make the last year disappear and have things go back to where they’d been before. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her tightly against me, letting her feel the strength of my arousal. I groaned low, my thighs quivering as I dry humped her, knowing that it would never be enough.
Her whimpers revealed her pleasure at what I was doing to her. Her tantalizing scent was like a drug to me, and I ran my tongue up the side of her neck until I could take her ear into my mouth. I ran my mouth over it, nibbling behind the lobe, where I knew she was sensitive. Her gasp caused me to smile as I moved her hair and continued to the back of her neck. Not enough skin. I needed more. I took the material of her tank in my hands and ripped it open down the back.
"Sax!" she whisper yelled, trembling.
Sax Page 19
