“Do not make a fuss over it.” She placed a plate of biscuits and jam in front of him. “You were missed at luncheon. Everyone asked after you. Even Daphne made an appearance at the table.”
“How does Lady Daphne fair today?” He took a bite of the biscuit, relishing the sweet taste of blackberry jam.
“She makes no complaints, but it is plain to see her leg pains her. Every time she shifts her weight, her face contorts.” Rebecca placed a cup of tea on the makeshift table in front of him. “Mother still tries to get Daphne to take the laudanum left by the surgeon but she refuses. Says she’d rather feel a little discomfort than have her mind foggy.”
He swallowed the last of his treat. “I do not fault her for thinking in such a way. Laudanum is powerful stuff. I would refuse the drug as well.”
“That may be true, but I think her foolish for suffering when she need not.” Rebecca strolled across the entry hall to the trunk. “I wish there were something I could do to lessen her burden. I spend time with her each day, read to her and tell her stories about Babylon. Mother, Phoebe, and I take turns keeping her company.”
Camden rose and moved to her side. “I am certain she appreciates your efforts, as do I.”
She crouched down tracing the trunk’s carved scroll with her fingertips. “I do not do tend your wound for appreciation, but thank you all the same.”
Camden scrunched his brows at the trunk. He still wished to know the contents of the medieval chest. “Do you ever intend to take the items out of there?”
She glanced up at him through thick lashes, her lower lip caught between her teeth. “I have considered it.”
“You could do so today.” He crouched next to her.
She grinned. “The suspense is too much for you, isn’t it? You’re like a lad at Christmas, so impatient that you can’t sleep.” Her eyes sparkled. “You’ve probably already had a look at the contents.”
“I most certainly have not.” He smirked. “But I may soon if you do not end the suspense for me.”
She lifted the lid a few inches, then lowered it back into place. Her laughter filled the room.
“You, my lady, are a terrible tease.” He chuckled as he placed his hand on top of hers.
She sobered, her gaze searching his. “If you truly wish to know, I will empty it for you.”
“I only jest. The trunk belongs to you. I care not when or even if you remove its contents.” He rubbed his thumb in lazy circles over her hand. Even through her glove she could feel the warmth of his skin.
“Very well, then it shall remain a mystery.” She stood. “Leastwise for now.”
He searched Rebecca’s beautiful face. “You had better get home and ready yourself for the ball. I shall be devastated if you should you miss our dance.” He stood, offering his arm to her.
“Oh, how you tease.” She rested her fingertips on his coat sleeve.
He smiled. His words were meant to tease but they held the truth as well. Tonight would be a special night for them and he had no wish for his plans to be delayed.
He led her to the large arched door and placed a kiss in her palm. “Until tonight, my lady.” He winked.
Rebecca’s cheeks took on a delightful rosy pink hue. Until tonight indeed.
Chapter Ten
Rebecca stood with Phoebe near a potted fern at the back of the ballroom. Most of the guests had already spilled into the space. Ladies and gentlemen stood in every corner fanning out along the walls of the candlelit room as they waited for Mother and Father to open the floor for dancing. Still, Camden had not appeared. Her stomach turned as she stared at the entrance.
“Is something bothering you?”
“No.” Rebecca ignored the urge to glance at Phoebe. Camden would be arriving any minute and she did not want to miss his entrance.
“Are you quite certain? You acted a bit strange all afternoon, and now you seem very distracted.”
“I am merely anxious to see this house party draw to an end.” Rebecca flipped open her fan. Had the air warmed in here all of a sudden? “The past fortnight has been grueling. I long for everyone to take their leave of us.”
“Will you be saddened by Captain Le Bec’s departure?”
Rebecca’s chest tightened. “I do not know that he plans to leave. He has said nothing of the sort to me.”
“But surely you know he must wish to. He cannot stay in that decrepit castle forever.”
Camden swept into the room and Rebecca swallowed. She’d enjoyed their time together so much she’d allowed herself to forget his military status. His appearance brought it into sharp relief. He wore his full dress uniform, and though he looked breathtakingly handsome in the white breeches and red coat decorated with intricate gold designs, it served to remind her how ill suited they were. She glanced at Phoebe. “Yes, I am aware. Now if you will excuse me, I promised Captain Le Bec the first set.”
Phoebe grinned, waving her fan in front of her. “Of course.”
Rebecca pushed down the doubts and made her way toward Camden. No matter how she’d come to care for him they could never make a match. Her heart protested the thought. She’d been a fool for taking Phoebe’s advice, for now she would have to contend with a broken heart.
“My lady.” Camden bowed before he offered his arm.
The quartet struck up the first cords of a country-dance. Rebecca curtsied. “Captain Le Bec.” She rested her fingers on his sleeve before glancing at the dance floor to where her parents stood. “You are late.” She ignored the familiar flutter of her stomach at their touch.
“Nonsense, I am right on time.” He swept her onto the dance floor where they took their positions in line.
The music started, and she curtsied while he bowed. He caught her gaze as they swept past each other and offered a wink. Heat scorched her cheeks. She glanced around as she made her turn. Heaven forbid anyone notice his action. When she swept past him the second time she gave him a scowl. “Behave yourself.” She had no desire for the ton to wag their tongues about her.
He grinned at her from across the floor. Blast her body if it did not warm at the sight. She averted her glance to her mother and father. They danced by, light on their feet and grinning at each other. Once they had passed Rebecca and Camden came together. She placed her hands in his with a furtive glance. He led her down the line, mischief dancing in his eyes.
Camden led her through the dance without a word. When the quartet struck the final cords everyone applauded. Rebecca’s heart thumped as she took Camden’s arm, allowing him to guide her from the floor.
“That was exhilarating. How about a stroll out of doors?” He led her toward the large doors at the rear of the ballroom.
“What about our second dance? We will miss it.”
“I would prefer to have you alone.” He gave a gentle squeeze, pressing her hand against his side.
A swarm of tingles invaded her and her cheeks blazed. “What if someone notices our absence?”
“I have taken care to ensure your reputation. A chaperone awaits us.” He nodded at the elderly lady stationed by the doors.
She sighed. The lady was a widow and would make a perfectly suitable chaperone. “Very well. Some fresh air does sound appealing.” Perhaps there would be a breeze to cool her burning skin.
He led her across the threshold and out into the open air. She glanced over her shoulder to ensure the elderly lady followed. “Will you be departing for London on the morrow?”
“I wish to speak to you about that very matter.” He turned her toward a path where torches cast their warm glow on the hedgerow.
The implications made her throat tighten. She did not want him to leave, but things would be easier if he did. The sooner he left Babylon the sooner her heart could begin to heal.
He brought them to a stop near one of the torches and turned to her. His eyes shone in the firelight as he took her hand in his. “Lady Rebecca, I have grown very fond of you in our short acquaintance, and believe you feel the
same for me.”
The tenderness in his gaze coupled with his strange actions alarmed her. She pulled her hand back but he held tight.
“Dare I say love has blossomed between us?”
She wanted to shake her head, deny his words. Her heart swelled at the truth, while her thoughts raced in warning. She opened her mouth to speak but her tongue refused to allow it.
“For my part, I have no doubts. Somewhere along the way you took my heart captive.” He lowered to one knee. “You are the woman I love. Marry me, Lady Rebecca Chesterfield.”
An agonizing tightness clenched at her chest. Her eyes stung as the cruel truth slammed into her. She did love him. More than she ever thought a woman could love a man. Her heart may never recover if she lost him, but at least she could spare herself further heartache. She could ensure her life did not turn out like Daphne’s. Mayhap in time she would love another and Camden would as well.
“Rebecca, I am asking for your hand.” The warmth in his eyes nearly felled her. “Have you nothing to say?”
She averted her gaze, swallowed hard. Her chaperone stood back at the mouth of the path speaking with another guest. “I…I cannot marry you. I’m sorry Captain Le Bec.”
He rose to his feet pulling her against him, locking his arms around her. “Why ever not?”
For a moment she melted into his embrace before stiffening her spine to pull back. “I shall not become a soldier’s wife.” One rogue tear slipped from the corner of her eye and glided hotly down her cheek. She did not want him to go through life hurting as she knew she would. Her heart shattered as she forced herself to say the words, “I do not love you.”
The dark flash in his eyes was her only warning. He bent his head, slanted his lips across hers. She kissed him back freely giving of herself. One last kiss she would hold deep in her heart for the rest of her days.
When he pulled back she dragged her gaze to his. “Good bye, Captain Le Bec.” She twisted in his grip and he released his hold on her. With haste she set off down the path.
“Your kiss betrays you, Rebecca,” he called after her.
The use of her Christian name froze her in place. She needed to make him hate her so he would take his leave without further issue. It would not do for the others to witness their actions. With a ragged breath she stiffened her spine. “My kiss contained nothing more than lust. I could never love you.”
His brows shot down, his face burning red. “You would rather call yourself a harlot than admit to your feelings for me?”
“I have no feelings for you. I have kissed many a gentleman with the same passion as I have kissed you.” The lie soured her mouth while adding another crack to her already broken heart. She grabbed her skirt in both hands and ran for the safety of her bedchamber.
Rebecca lay with her face buried in the pillow, her shoulders trembling as she set her tears free. She made the only decision she could, so why did it devastate her so? She rolled onto her side facing the window and pulled her knees close to her abdomen.
Had Camden returned to Babylon or chosen to brave the remainder of the ball? Nausea swept through her as she thought of his devastated look out in the hedgerow. She hated that she’d hurt him, but what other choice did she have?
Someone touched her shoulder and Rebecca jumped. When she rolled over, she found Daphne propped up on a crutch staring down at her. She wiped the tears from her face. “You should be resting.”
One corner of Daphne’s mouth tugged up. “Scoot over and let me in.”
Rebecca slid across the bed making room for Daphne to settle in beside her.
Once situated Daphne cast a warm smile on her. “Now tell me what troubles you?”
“Captain Le Bec proposed to me.” She pulled a handful of her coverlet close to her cheek.
Daphne grinned. “Oh, what wonderful news. Why are you up here crying instead of downstairs celebrating?”
“I turned him away.”
Daphne’s brow furrowed. “Whatever for? Captain Le Bec is a fine catch. A war hero and a gentleman.”
“I cannot marry a soldier. I have no desire to become a young widow.” A fresh batch of sobs racked Rebecca’s body.
“Hush now.” Daphne pulled Rebecca close. “I would become a young widow over and over again if it meant a life with the man I loved.”
“How can you say such a thing? Rowland has been gone for nearly two years and you still cry yourself to sleep most nights.”
“I do not grieve over his death; I grieve over the loss of his presence.”
Rebecca looked up at Daphne, confused. “You speak in riddles.”
Daphne wound one of Rebecca’s curls around her finger. “I merely mean I grieved him in life as well. Anytime we were separated my heart ached for him because I loved him. I still do. You cannot run from love. The only cure for your suffering is Captain Le Bec.”
Rebecca closed her eyes, her mind spinning. Was she being a fool?
“I would choose Rowland time and again if given the opportunity despite knowing how things ended for us. A thousand deaths would not sway me, for the time we had together was full of love and happiness.”
Rebecca groaned and pulled the coverlet over her face. Daphne’s words filled her head. Half of her wanted to cling to a life free of heartbreak, while the other longed for the life Daphne’s words implied—a life with Captain Camden Le Bec.
Should she go after Camden? Tell him what a fool she’d been, or stay the course and hope the pain would pass? “Daphne, I don’t know what to do.”
Daphne tugged the coverlet back down, pinning Rebecca with her gaze. “Let me ask you this. Is it possible for you to hurt more than you do right now?”
Rebecca shook her head.
“Then what have you to lose?”
She could not deny the wisdom of Daphne’s words. “Nothing.” She sighed and moved from the bed to the window. “I have nothing to lose, and it seems everything to gain.” Her gaze shifted to the flickering light coming from the castle’s lancet window. The castle where he’d first kissed her. Her heart swelled until it was too big to contain. She spun to her sister-in-law. There was only one choice. “I must go to him.”
Daphne beamed at her. “Good. Now go make things right for both of you. I will stay here in case anyone should come looking for you.”
Rebecca dashed across the chamber, but stopped at her bedroom door. “Thank you, Daphne.”
“Shoo.” Daphne waved her out. “Go before you get found out.”
Rebecca raced toward Babylon.
Chapter Eleven
Everything seemed pointedly clear to Rebecca as she rode at a full gallop toward the looming gatehouse of Babylon. She had been a complete ninny tossing Camden aside. Would he be able to forgive the hateful things she’d said to him? Her heart raced keeping beat with the horse’s thundering hooves. She’d not blame him if he hated her; it would be her own fault. Still she prayed he would welcome her back into his arms.
She pulled her mounts reins next to the stairs leading to the second-story entry and slid from her saddle. Her fingers fumbled slipping from the leather reins as she tried to tie them to a nearby post. After long moments of frustration, she managed the semblance of a knot. She took the steps two at a time, her skirts hiked up to her knees before pounding on the massive arched door, her heartbeat keeping time with the pounding of her fists.
When no answer came she pushed the heavy door open. With her heart in her throat she raced across the entry hall. “Camden! Camden!” She yelled as she made her way up to the third floor. Her chest heaved with the exertion. She paused for a moment gasping for breath.
“Camden, where are you?” She called out her voice echoing through the keep. Slivers of moonlight spilled through the lancet windows lighting her path as she stepped into the master chamber. A makeshift bed sat along the far wall but Camden did not lie upon it. She glanced around the room. There were no signs anyone occupied the room. She made her way to the next chamber, and her heart
plummeted. Empty. Had he left Babylon? “Camden, I was wrong, I’m sorry.” Her voice bounced off the walls echoing back to her.
She ran from room to room, floor to floor. There was no indication Camden had stayed here. Not a stitch of clothing or scrap of parchment anywhere to be found. Not even his hired men answered her pleas. Finally, out of breath and back in the entrance hall she sank onto the floor clutching her knees. A fresh batch of tears pricked at her eyes as she rocked back and forth. She was too late. Blast her foolishness. He’d taken his possessions and gone. Now she would never get the chance to tell him the truth. Never feel his arms around her again. Her heart shattered as tears spilled from her eyes.
The cool floor chilled her bones but she did not care to move. Instead she pressed her eyes shut against the pain she’d caused. How had she allowed herself to be so foolish? She rolled onto her back, stared up at the ancient ceiling. Her chest rose and fell at a steady pace as she fought to gain control over her emotions.
She pushed herself up from the floor, straightened her gown, and dusted her skirt off. He could not have gotten far in so short a time. She’d go after him. Surely he rode for London. How hard could he be to find? She drew in a deep breath against the pounding of her heart. She had to tell him how wrong she was.
Camden pushed his horse hard to escape Babylon and its memories of Rebecca. The more distance he put between them the better. He glanced up at the night sky rushing past in streaks of starlight. His heart squeezed. What was she doing now? Did her heart quiver in the wake of breaking as his did? Her words had stung like a well-placed slap, burning a trail through him that incinerated his heart.
He knew she did not mean them, but the knowledge did nothing to lessen their impact. She was afraid and lashed out to protect herself. He drew in a deep breath and slowed his mount. What did she fear?
“I shall not become a soldier’s wife.” He blinked against the memory. “My brother, Rowland, was killed in battle.” His pulse sped. How had he failed to see it before? She was afraid of losing him to war—of becoming a widow like Daphne. What could he say to change her mind? Was it even possible to make her see past her fears? He tapped his fingers against his thigh.
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