by J. E. Parker
Downright mighty.
Her perseverance reminded me of Mamá.
Oh how she would've loved both chicas.
"I only have one question." I sat straighter, shaking the thought of yet another person I'd loved—and lost—to the darkest corners of my mind. "Does Chase have a brother?"
Knowing full-well that I was just stirring the pot, Jade smirked then laughed as Ashley shook her head. "He does, but he's married, so you can't have him."
I wasn't let down by her answer, not even close, though I acted as if I were by feigning disappointment I didn't have.
As much as I wish things were different—I should still be at his side—I only had one heart, as broken as it may be, to give. And whether or not he realized it, James Cole still held it in the palm of his hand.
Just as he always would.
Blowing out a breath, I waved a lone hand. "Such is my luck."
"You know what, though?" Chiquita sat up straighter, trouble twinkling in her eyes. "I can always hook you up with Pop. He's as single as can be."
That same suspicion I'd experienced back at High Tide when Anthony told us his wife's name, where it felt like my belly had fallen to the floor and my heart was on fire, returned full force.
Hendrix calls James Pop.
Ashley's adoptive mother is named Shelby.
This can't be a coincidence.
There's no way.
Feeling Anthony's assessing gaze on the side of my face, I cleared my throat, fighting with everything I had to hide the hysteria I was working myself into before he put two and two together.
El hombre was far too observant.
"No worries." I forced a shaky smile that I hoped covered the distress bursting beneath my skin. "I'm just going to concentrate on work and getting Jade's culo through nursing school."
I just hoped Mercy would allow me to rescind my resignation. If she didn't, I had no clue what I'd do.
Or where we'd live.
Brows arched, Ashley pulled her attention from me and focused on her little sister. "You're in nursing school?"
Jade tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and nodded. "Started last year. After what we all went through, I want to help people. Becoming a nurse is me doing that."
Ashley squealed and clapped her hands together, much like I'd done minutes before. "I'm so proud of you!"
"I'm proud of you too," Little One replied, looking around the warm living room. "I mean, look at you. You escaped El Diablo, stabbed Ellington, finished school, became a preschool teacher, and found love. I am seriously so danged happy for you."
Beside me, Anthony cleared his throat.
Like me, he was barely keeping it together.
Hola emotional overload.
"Sweetness!" My shoulders stiffened at the sound of an unfamiliar masculine voice. "Can we come down now? Your dad said I had to stay up here until you said I could come down." He paused. Then, "I feel like a damned teenager who's been grounded and sent to his room."
Standing, a red-faced Ashley looked from me to Jade. "I think it's time for y'all to meet someone."
"Yes!" I smacked the loveseat, ramping up the drama as I spoke in perfect English, hoping the man who'd stolen her heart would hear and understand me from wherever he lurked. "Bring Chase down so I can interrogate him."
Anthony chuckled. "Thatta girl."
"As fun as that sounds," Ashley said, shooting me a warning look that made me grin like I was loca. "There is someone else I want you to meet first."
My mind flew to the toys littering the driveway when Jade and I had first arrived. We’re about to meet her preciosa bebé…
"Peanut!" she hollered, confirming my suspicions. "Come down here, baby!"
Light footsteps echoed through the house as someone descended the stairs. The sound of plastic clicking against hardwood followed and Ashley sucked in a breath, then held it.
"Mama!" A little girl with beautiful golden skin and bouncing chocolate-brown curls screeched as she ran toward Ashley, her plastic bangle covered arms extended. "Daddy said he's hungry and that—"
She came to a sliding stop when she saw Jade, and I stood from where we sat, our mouths gaping. Then, she turned her head, giving me a full view of her gorgeous face, a perfect replica of her mother's, and stared, her dark eyes—one of the few features she'd inherited from her cabrón sperm donor—twinkling with curiosity.
"Chiquita, is—" Vocal cords seizing, I closed my mouth, unable to ask the question I already had an answer to.
"It's her," Ashley finished for me, affirming a truth I'd already known.
That truth? This little girl wasn't her second child. She was her first—the one life had forced her to give up all those years before.
Oh God," Jade cried, mirroring my thoughts as she stood. "She's beautiful."
Head tilting to the side, the little chica looked at me, her assessing gaze locked on my soon to be tear-streaked face. "Hi!" she yelled, waving a single hand in my direction. "I'm Addie!"
My arms shook with the urge to race forward and scoop her up. But not wanting to scare her, I held steady, feet rooted to where I stood. "Hi, Addie, I'm Carmen."
She beamed a smile my way before looking at Jade. "Hi!"
Little One looked close to collapsing. "Hey, baby," she whispered, her entire body trembling. "You look just like your pretty mama."
Giggling, she ran to Ashley and wrapped her arms around her hips. "Mama, I like your friends. They're beautiful, just like you."
"They are," the same masculine voice from before said as a tall man with blond hair, striking blue eyes, and a sculpted body that any woman would have taken notice of, appeared out of nowhere and stood in the arched living room doorway. "All three are gorgeous."
More than a little impressed, I let out a long whistle and made a show of looking el hombre, who I rightfully assumed was Chase, up and down. "Well damn, Chiquita. I may be jealous. If I could find a man as—"
"Knock knock."
My words evaporated when a second voice, one I would recognize anywhere, boomed from the foyer, and echoed through the house, causing the painted walls to collapse in on me.
No, no, no, this can't be happening!
He isn't here, this is all in my head!
"Where's my girls—"
An invisible two by four slammed into my belly, rupturing my insides and crushing every wall I'd built to keep the memories of him, the man that had just rounded the corner and now stood ten feet away, at bay, his stare boring into mine, shattering my hopes that his voice had been only a delusion.
Heart unprepared, I wasn't ready. Not for seeing him, the man who was both my salvation and damnation in one, again.
Nor for the anger dancing in his eyes.
"James," I whispered, shaking knees close to giving way as I fisted the cotton skirt of my dress to keep from reaching out for him, something my shrieking soul demanded I do. "It's been a while."
It was one of most dumbest things I could've said, but with my brain short-circuiting, and with my cracking heart close to seizing, I didn't know what to do, much less what to say.
For seven years, we'd been apart.
And now, here we were, face-to-face.
Please don't hate me, I silently begged.
Please understand why I left.
Lost in the spell that was James Cole, the world faded away as everyone but him, and I left the room, slipping free of the category five hurricane that brewed, threatening to rip us both apart as fury, relief, betrayal, want, and hurt—so much hurt—filled the charged air.
Crushed beneath the formidable silence that had descended, I sucked in a ragged breath as he took one step after another, devouring the space between us.
Cupping my face with his strong, calloused hands, he tilted my head back, pulling a hushed whimper from deep in my chest as my soul sighed in contentment at his presence.
But though his touch was gentle, the same as it had always been, the rage lining his face as he rema
ined silent was anything but.
He was pissed.
A blind woman could've seen that.
"James," I whispered, circling his wrists with my shaking hands. "Say something." Entire frame quaking, he dropped his forehead to mine and closed his eyes, reviving the butterflies in my belly that had long since died. "Guapo, please. I—"
"You lied to me."
My lower lip trembled as heavy tears blurred my eyes. "I didn't—"
"You promised that you'd always find your way back to me, that you'd never leave me." Ripping his hands away from my skin and leaving me reeling at the loss of his touch, he stepped back, handsome face contorting with absolute disgust. "But you fucking lied."
I jerked back at his repeated words.
My face burned as if I'd been slapped.
Tension built in my limbs as my lungs caught fire. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him that si, I may have lied, but I'd done so for a damned good reason.
Only my voice wouldn't work.
Thanks to the invisible noose constricting my throat, and the lead weighing down my tongue, the only thing I could do was stand there as my tears fell for the hundredth time that day, watching as the look of disgust he wore transformed into something darker, something crueler.
Hate.
"For seven years I've grieved you," he snarled, every bit of love he'd ever had for me becoming nothing more than a fleeting memory, "a woman I thought had been ripped away from me forever through no fault of her own."
He spoke as if I had willingly walked away from him, breaking his heart for the fun of it.
I hadn't.
The only reason I’d stayed away, even when it was the last thing I wanted, was to protect the only loved ones I had left, including his son, who I loved as if I had carried him in my body for nine months.
Did he not realize that?
Not even after reading my postcard?
Horror suddenly struck me.
What if he’d never received it?
James shook his head and took another step back, shoulders tense. "But now that you're here, alive and clearly well, that torment is fucking ending." His nostrils flared as he exhaled. "Today."
Unable to pull in a single breath, I wrapped my arms around my belly—around my scars, all of which had been carved into my skin by the devil himself—and stumbled back, his cruel words striking me with close to lethal force.
"I don't know what you're doing at my granddaughter's house," he sneered, his growing hate for me clear. "But you need to get the hell out and stay away from her. She's been through enough. And the last thing my family needs is for a coldhearted bitch like you to turn her world upside down like you did mine."
He didn’t mean it.
Not any of it.
I just had to make him understand.
His cold eyes hardened further as his cutting voice rose with each word, his irises pinpoints of disdain, speaking a truth I knew all too well. "And do me a favor."
Chest heaving, he paused.
"Never come back."
He turned and walked away without another word, stomping on my hemorrhaging heart with every heavy step he took.
The front door slammed shut seconds later, rattling the living room windows as he exited the house. And if he had anything to say about it, my life—forever.
But I had news for him.
He and I weren't even close to finished.
My heart may have been splintering, but I would make him see the truth, even if I had to beat it into his thick skull. That's after he apologized for calling me a coldhearted bitch.
Maybe I was a perra, but coldhearted?
I was no such thing.
Apparently, he needed a reminder of such.
"Chiquita!" I yelled, moving from the living room and into the kitchen where she, Chase, Addie, Jade, and Anthony had all slipped off to after leaving James and me alone minutes before. "I'm going to deal with that…" Mounting anger stealing my thoughts, my voice seized. "With that… man!"
I barely resisted the urge to call Guapo a pendejo. But with Addie standing there, it wasn't the smartest thing to do. Even as mad and crushed as I was, I realized that. I just prayed she hadn't heard him call me such vile names.
If she had, I swore I would wash his filthy mouth out with the most bitter-tasting soap I could find.
Whether he liked it or not.
I pointed toward the door James had stomped out after shoving a dagger into the center of my heart. "A man who, I might add, just spewed his venom all over me."
He'd be lucky if I didn't kick him in the cojones like I had Anthony when we were once more face-to-face. He sure as shit deserved it.
"Watch over Little One until I get back, si?"
Not knowing how to respond, Ashley just stared at me, wide-eyed and confused.
Jade, though, she scoffed.
"I'm twenty-three years old, not four, for heaven's sake," she snapped, letting her sass fly in order to hide the fear and panic that welled in her eyes thanks to James' behavior. "So how about you stop worrying about lil ol' me and go tame the grizzly that just huffed and puffed his way out of here."
Waving her hand, she rolled her eyes so hard I was surprised they didn't get stuck in the back of her skull. "I'll be fine here, hanging out with the fam."
Thirty minutes.
That's all it had taken for her to begin to heal.
Smiling from ear-to-ear, she flicked a handful of fiery curls back over her shoulder and winked down at a giggling Addie, who was hanging onto her every word, before snapping her attention back to me.
"And if you need a taser to calm him down, just holler. I'm sure Anthony will let you borrow his police-issued one. I mean, unless you want to steal that too. You know, like you did his gun."
Ashley's chin almost hit the floor as a stone-faced Anthony scowled and shook his head.
"As mad as my father-in-law appeared to be, even that may not work. A swift kick to the nether-region"—he glanced at an oblivious Addie—"or a shot of pepper spray to the face may calm him down, though." He cut his narrowed eyes at me. "Good thing you're an expert at both things, yeah?"
Great.
Now I had two smartasses to deal with.
Poor Chiquita's mouth opened and closed three times before she found the words she sought to speak. "Would someone," she hissed, waving her arm from me to Jade, "tell me what's going on?" She blinked. "Because I am so frickin' confused."
Chase scratched his head. "Hell, me too."
Jade threw her arms up before gesturing to the front door, all dramatic like in a performance worthy of an Emmy.
"Heavens to Betsy, Mama C, would you go already? I'll fill everyone in on what's going on, along with you and James' past. But as upset as the man looked, he's probably ready to set fire to our car, so you may want to get moving."
She aimed a pointed finger at my chest.
"And listen here, Miss Colombia." Lips thinned, she glared at me. "Don't step a foot back inside this house until you've fixed what's broken either, or else I will shove my size eight sandal right up your culo."
I really hope Addie doesn't understand Spanish.
Hands finding my hips, I opened my mouth to throw a handful of snark her way and tell her to watch her language when little ears were present, but Anthony spoke first, not giving me the chance.
"My wife is going to love you," he said to her, chuckling and shaking his head. "Mark my words."
She beamed a smile. "Good."
Distracted from the pain multiplying in my chest thanks to their antics, I huffed out a breath, my torso close to exploding from the rage building behind my heart.
"I'm going."
As I turned and headed for the door, the agony that had briefly been numbed returned tenfold, burning through me like I'd downed a fifth of cheap vodka in one go.
He hates me.
He's never going to forgive me.
Excruciating pain gripped me at both thoughts. How I remained st
anding when all I wanted to do was collapse and cry was beyond me.
"Fix it!" Jade called out, causing my steps to falter. She wanted James, and by extension Hendrix, to be part of our family so badly. But what if I couldn't give her that anymore?
She'd hate me too.
Just like James clearly did.
"Yeah, CeCe!" sweet little Addie hollered, causing me to stop. "Fix my Pop-Pop!"
Lungs seizing, I peered at her over my shoulder, her angelic face filled with nothing but love and hope. "CeCe?"
She nodded, her shiny curls bouncing. "I call Shelby DeDe because she says she's too young to be called MeMaw or Granny."
Shoving her hair back over her shoulders, she rolled her eyes, just like Jade had done seconds before. "So you can be my CeCe." Leaning back against Chase, she watched me, studying my expression. "But only if you wanna."
Dios mío, my heart.
Even shattered, it swelled with adoration.
"I'd love to be your CeCe."
The simple words were all I could manage.
Addie grinned, big and bright. "Good." She nodded. "You're my CeCe then, but you'll have to be my cousins’ CeCe too, or they won't like it. Maddox especially 'cause he gets jealous and stuff."
Another roll of her eyes.
"Will you go up the street to Pop-Pop's big blue house now and make him smile? Because I don't know what he said, but he sounded sooo mad."
I sighed in relief that she hadn't been able to decipher what James had said. Given the situation, especially how loud his infuriated tone had been, it was a minor miracle, but one I gladly accepted.
Shaking her head, she pursed her little lips and shifted her weight between her plastic heel-covered feet. "And I don't like that."
My tears returned, putting my hurt on display for everyone present to see. "I'll make him happy again." I drew an invisible x over my hammering heart even though she couldn't see such a move with my back facing her. "I promise."
Done speaking the vow I intended to keep, I hustled down the hall and made my way outside without waiting for her or anyone else to reply.
The warm breeze kissed my sweat-dampened skin as I stepped onto the covered porch, eyes locking on the blue house—it looks just like the one from the postcard—less than a hundred yards away.
