by J. E. Parker
“Well, it’s about dang time!” Grandmama hollered, tears filling her faded green eyes as Carmen palmed my cheeks, her thumbs brushing across my cheekbones.
“Guapo...” The relief that swept across her face after my words hit their mark, relaxing her features as the weight she’d been carrying for far too long lifted off her shoulders, almost did me in. “Kiss me, por favor.”
Not one to deny her a single damn thing, especially after the day we’d had, I did as she requested.
I kissed the hell out of her.
31
Carmen
One Month Later
At half past eight, I walked into the shelter.
Lips still tingling from the toe-curling kiss goodbye that James had pressed to my lips a minute before, I moved down the hall toward the main office, my steps light thanks to the hour-long therapy appointment I’d attended the afternoon before.
For the entire sixty minutes, most of which I hadn’t slowed down to take a breath, much less to shut up, I’d unloaded on my therapist, unburdening my soul for the second time in the past week.
And let me tell you—choosing to attend counseling, both with my chicas and alone, was proving to be one of the best decisions I’d ever made. Since I’d started sessions a month before, my demons had begun to dissipate, turning to ash in my mind as the nightmares that used to plague my sleep almost every night lessened.
Majorly so.
That combined with the weekly NA meetings I took part in at the community center, along with the Survivors of Sex Abuse and Trafficking support group I met with each Friday, my psyche, along with my heart, was healing.
Slowly but surely.
The best part? I’d never been happier.
Between spending my days at the shelter, my evenings with my new familia, where I worked my culo off to make up for lost time with Chiquita, sweet little Addie, Faye, and Amelia too, and my nights in Guapo’s bed, I was walking on cloud nine.
But even with all the beautiful things that had bloomed in my once bleak existence, worry still sat anchored deep in my belly. I did well hiding my anxiety most days, with only Guapo knowing the trepidation that stirred within, but it was getting harder to keep it locked away.
And it was all because of Ari.
Along with Alejandro.
The first because she had yet to act on the vow she’d made to deal with El Diablo and Ellington since they were both still breathing. And I’d be a lying puta if I said that Voodoo’s threat to tell Dominic that I was alive and back in the tri-county area didn’t scare me.
Because it did.
I didn’t know how much power he still possessed or if he had the resources to send someone to finish the job he’d been unable to complete all those years ago, but if he came after me again, it could be ugly.
Especially now that I had more to lose.
Bottom line, I needed him dead.
Ellington, too.
As for Alejandro, despite the weeks that had passed and Anthony’s many connections, I still didn’t know if he was alive or dead. Anthony had continued searching, Guapo had assured me of that, but we had nothing to show for it so far.
The unknown was eating me alive.
I missed my hermanito, I missed him so damn much, and being unable to move on, whichever direction that may have been, was holding my heart back from mending completely.
Only, if I found out that Alejandro truly was gone, it would never heal correctly anyway.
Because without him, it wouldn’t be whole.
“Ma!”
Close to tearing up in the middle of the hallway where I stood after my thoughts had caused my steps to falter, I looked up at the sound of Shelby’s raised voice.
Schooling my features and doing my best to hide the sharp pang of loss that stabbed at my insides, I smiled her way. “Morning, mija.” I started walking once more. “Did you—”
I squeaked in surprise when a large body stepped out from the linen closet I was passing and blocked my path. Hand flying to my chest, I wheezed out a breath.
“Dios mío, Evan!” I snapped at the mountain standing before me. “Just give me a heart attack next time, why don’t—”
“Are you going to give me trouble today?” Arching a brow, he crossed his arms. “Because if so, tell me now so I can grab another cup of coffee, then warn Chris.”
I scoffed. “One time I caused trouble. One. Time!”
Though I regretted nothing about my first day when Shelby and I had left the shelter without following protocol, then raced into the trap house to save Anna, my hide still hurt after being torn up one side and down the other by my coworkers and familia.
First by Maddie and Charlotte.
Second by Carissa and Heidi.
Third by Hope and Wendy.
Fourth by Chiquita and Little One.
And mierda, don’t even get me started on Evan and Chris. They’d tag teamed mija and me both the second we’d walked in two days after the incident as if they were drill sergeants and we were new recruits.
I’d almost kicked them both in the huevos.
“Not to mention,” I continued, meeting Evan’s stare head-on, refusing to let him intimidate me, “my ears are still ringing from the last time Chris yelled at me.” And people call Shelby the Mouth of the South. “Therefore, I’m good.”
“You better be good,” he mumbled, a teasing grin playing on his lips. “Because if you or that troublemaking daughter of yours causes me grief, I’ll call your future husband. He can deal with y’all.”
Future husband? James hadn’t even proposed!
I had a feeling it was coming soon, though.
At least, that was my hope.
With a shrug, I waved Evan off. “I’ll behave.” I took a few steps, headed toward where Shelby waited just outside the office door, her shoulder leaning against the cinderblock wall to her left, as she watched the Big Guy and I’s exchange. “Maybe.”
A low curse echoed from behind me as I continued to move. The beep of Evan’s two-way radio followed. Then, “Chris, close the gate and switch-off code access because I’ve got a feeling Beauty may cause us trouble today, and we’ve gotta make it hard for her. If she wants to leave, she’s gonna have to scale the fence or gate.”
I bit back an amused snort as Chris shouted something unintelligible into the radio. “Oh fuck me running!” he added a moment later, his words now clear. “Between her and Shelby—”
My laughter rang out, Shelby’s too, drowning out whatever else Chris said. Still walking, I glanced back at Evan, meeting his narrowed gaze. “Don’t worry, Ev, I’ll do my best to behave and follow protocol.” I paused. “But if someone on the outside needs me, and you don’t move fast enough, you can bet your sweet culo I’ll find a way over that fence.”
It wasn’t a mentira.
It was the absolute truth.
And I made no apologies for it.
Four Hours Later
I couldn’t stop staring at Chase and Chiquita.
Seated across Charlotte’s desk from me, my chica sat on her man’s lap as they ate lunch off a shared plate during my break, a Saturday lunch tradition we'd adopted and adhered to religiously.
Heads bent, they ate quietly, whispering to each other between bites and stolen kisses, causing warmth to spread through my chest.
I’d always prayed that my chicas would escape Dominic’s clutches and one day find true love, but I never believed that it would happen. Seeing Ashley now, though, with her heart welded to Chase’s, made me want to smack my past self for doubting such a thing because a love like theirs was ordained by fate.
Unbreakable and undeniable.
Just like James’ and I’s.
“Mama C, quit gawking and listen to me.”
I dropped my hands onto the desk at Jade’s smartass words and turned my wide-eyed attention to her. Seated to Chase and Ashley’s left, she grinned at me like the troublemaker she was, while Faye, who sat on the other side of her, n
ext to Amelia, chuckled beneath her breath.
“I’m not gawking.”
That earned me an eye roll. “Liar.” Dropping the taco she’d just taken a bite of to her plate atop the desk, she stood, wiping away the crumbs that had fallen onto her jeans. “You were so busy staring at the two lovebirds”—she teasingly cut her eyes at Chase and Ashley—“that you didn’t hear a word I said.”
I threw my arms up, exasperated. “I can’t help it! I mean”—I pointed from Chase to Ashley—“just look at them!”
Faye chose that moment to stir the pot. “They’re just like you and James. So much in love, it’s downright sickening. I swear you and Handsome are worse, though. You’re so damn sweet on each other, it makes my teeth ache.”
Ashley giggled as I suppressed a smile and pointed at my best friend. “You’re supposed to be on my side, not Little One’s!”
Holding her hands up in a placating gesture, Faye shook her head. “I’m just saying!”
Jade scrunched her nose. “She’s right, you know.”
These two, I swear...
Shifting my attention to Amelia, I shook my head. “Princesa, do you hear your mama and Jade? Cristo, they’re always giving me grief.” She giggled, and I winked at her. “I say we revoke their ice cream privileges, then—”
“Now, wait a minute,” Jade cut in. “Nobody is taking my ice cream. Besides, you’re the one who started this mess by not listening. I swear I asked you if Anthony had heard anything about Alejandro three times, and you didn’t…”
Her voice trailed off when my shoulders slumped.
Dropping back into her chair, she chewed her bottom lip, regret sliding over her gorgeous, freckle-covered face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, allowing Ashley to take her hand in hers. “I didn’t mean to get you upset. I just…”
I forced a smile. “You didn’t get me upset.” Leaning forward, I placed my elbows on the desk and rested my chin on my palms. “I’m just impatient, and not knowing whether or not he’s still alive is driving me loca.”
“My dad will find him.” Ashley’s soft voice went a long way in soothing the aching burn that had bloomed in my heart. “I know he will.”
I didn’t doubt that one bit.
Anthony was determined.
After all, he’d found Jade and me.
He wouldn’t let me down.
“That he will,” I told her, voicing my thoughts aloud. “And when he does—”
I snapped my mouth shut when the shelter’s phone, which sat right in front of me, rang, just as Shelby, followed by Wendy, walked into the office.
“Want me to answer?” the latter asked, already moving in my direction.
Shaking my head in reply, I gripped the phone tight. “I’ve got it, bebé, you sit down and eat—” I paused and glared at the low-calorie, ready-made protein shake she held “—or rather, drink, your lunch.”
Without hesitating a second longer, I lifted the phone off the receiver and pressed it to my ear, the raw anxiety and fear that had been present the first time I’d answered it all those weeks ago absent.
“Toluca Battered Women’s Shelter, this is Carmen—”
“There she is.” My freshly painted toes curled in my flats at the sound of Guapo’s deep baritone. “I haven’t heard your voice in four hours, baby”—I felt my cheeks redden—“and I couldn’t go a second longer. Not without losing my godforsaken mind.”
I sighed, uncaring of the audience both watching and listening. “I’m glad you called,” I whispered, butterflies taking flight in my belly, “because I missed you.”
“Lord, here we go,” Shelby mumbled as she plopped down on the empty chair next to me and opened the takeout container she held. “Let the mushy lovefest begin.” She laughed, then hissed when I knocked my knee into hers. “Jesus, Ma! I’m telling dad because that was just plain damn rude!”
Ignoring her but smiling ear to ear thanks to her antics, I wrapped the phone’s cord around my free hand and turned in the chair, facing the wall. Behind me, Jade filled Shelby and Wendy in on the conversation we’d just had concerning Alejandro.
Swallowing around the lump that formed in my throat upon hearing her speak his name, I gnawed my lower lip. “How’s babysitting duty going?”
“It’s been busy,” he answered, chuckling and not having heard Shelby. “Gracie’s giving me hell, per usual, Melody and Maci are demanding you come home, Maddox is acting just like his stubborn father, and Lucca fell off his dirt bike.”
My stomach dropped to my feet. “Is he—”
“He’s fine, Pixie. Just skinned his knee.”
My panic calmed the slightest bit.
“As for Addie, she got stuck in the backyard tree the kids like to climb, so I had to go up there to get her down.”
Silent laughter shook my shoulders. It was a good thing he was a firefighter and used to climbing things. “Sounds like you and our grandbebés are having quite the day.”
He blew out an exasperated breath. “We are. I may be ready to pull every hair on my head out, but I wouldn’t change a thing.” I could hear the smile in his soothing voice. “And you want to know something?” Not giving me a chance to reply, he added, “You and I, we’re going to have quite the night.”
My right leg bounced. “Is that so?”
“Yeah, beautiful. How do you feel about letting me take you out after you get off work? I thought we could go get something to eat, maybe even go dancing since you love that so much.”
Oh, how my heart swelled.
“I’d—”
Before I could finish answering him, something banged in the background on his end. Gracie’s irate voice quickly followed. “If you don’t stop being such a turd, Maddox,” she screamed, “I’m going to run you over with my scooter!”
Someone’s been paying too much attention to Grandmama.
“You are not running your cousin over with your scooter,” Guapo snapped, intervening before Little Miss Attitude turned Maddox into a greasy spot on the cul-de-sac. “You do, and your mama, his too, will tan your hide.”
“Oh yes, I will! And Aunt Maddie—”
“Gracelyn Rose—”
“Fine!”
A door slammed, signaling Gracie’s exit.
I was trying so hard not to let my amusement burst free, but alas, it was a losing battle. That became obvious when a peal of laughter spilled out of me.
“Nevermind Shelby. It’s the little one that is going to put me in an early grave,” he groaned as someone else screamed, yet I couldn’t tell who it was. Melody maybe. “Pixie, I’m going to lose my ever-loving shit in a minute thanks to my favorite little monsters, so do me a solid and tell me I get to take you on a date tonight, yeah?”
I whirled the chair back around, finding several sets of wide eyes glued to me. Ignoring them all, I replied to Guapo, “Si, you get to take me out.”
He sighed in relief. “So it’s a date then.”
Butterflies still dancing, my eyes slid closed. “It is.”
“I’ll pick you up at the end of your shift, baby.” Chill bumps erupted along my arms. “I love you.”
The floating feeling that always possessed me when he spoke those words, ones which were balm to my battered soul, took hold. “Y te amo.” And I love you. “I’ll see you soon.”
It was the last I said before hanging up.
As well as before chaos erupted.
I’ve witnessed many arguments in my life.
Considering the places I’d been and the company I’d kept for more years than I should’ve, bloody fights and petty quarrels were a part of everyday life.
Despite that, I can honestly say that until the moment Chris stormed into the office, the pissed off expression he always wore etched on his hardened face and took one look at Wendy before running his mouth about her dietary choices, I’d never seen a woman chuck an empty protein shake at a man’s head before.
Now, though, I had.
And dios mío, who knew
a tiny bottle could create such a clunking sound when it bounced off someone’s skull?
I sure hadn’t.
But apparently, Chris either had an extra hard head, or it was hollow. My dinero had been on the former since the verbal altercation I was witnessing had begun, but when the imbécil standing before Wendy dug his heels in, deciding to pour gasoline on the fire that roared between them, I changed my mind.
El hombre definitely lacked a brain.
And he proved I was correct seconds later when he crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at Wendy, who was a foot shorter than him, and said, “It doesn’t matter if you’ve gained weight”—I cringed, same as Little One and Faye—“you need goddamn food, not a hundred calorie diet shake that’s full of chemicals!”
“He is so dead,” Shelby muttered, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest.
Nodding in agreement, Chiquita whispered, “More so than a doornail.”
Faye followed up with, “Somebody better grab a shovel because we’re gonna be burying a body in a few.”
Leaning to my left, I bumped Shelby with my elbow. “The residents can’t hear them, si?”
She shook her head. “Nah, the doors connecting this hall to the rest are all closed. They could murder each other, and no one would hear a thing.”
Eyes narrowing, Wendy jerked back. “Excuse me?” Fisted hands going to her hips, she looked ready to clock somebody—most notably Chris. “Did you just say I’ve gained weight?”
Uh oh.
“You’ve gained a few pounds—”
“Dude!” Chase interrupted. “Bad move!”
Not missing a beat, Chris picked up right where he’d left off. “But if possible, you’re even more beautiful now than you were.” Wendy’s mouth gaped, same as mine, when Chris stepped forward, closing the small space that existed between them. “And I don’t give two fucks what your piece of shit, cheating bastard of a husband says...”
I gasped, hand flying to my chest.
Wendy was married to an unfaithful bastardo?
