by Sophia Gray
My mother frowned. She was a thin woman with gray eyes and dark hair. When I was younger, I used to think she was the most beautiful woman in the world. But now she looked old, tired, and worn-out. She was so thin that she was gaunt, and her collarbone stuck out of her shapeless housedress. “Enzo, I don’t want any of your sass,” she said angrily. “You get in the kitchen and help your father before I take a strap to your lazy butt.”
I jumped up and nodded. Somehow, the mere mention of my father could always put me in a sour mood. I hated him. He was the worst man I’d ever met. He’d taken my mother’s youth, her money, her everything, and thrown it all away on drugs and booze. He couldn’t go an hour without being fucked up in some way, and I resented him for it. After all, this was why our family had become ruined. It was all his fault.
“Yes, Mom,” I mumbled as I pushed past her into the kitchen. The room was even smaller than I’d remembered. There was a linoleum floor that was ripped in two corners, showing the patchy and moldy wood underneath.
“Enzo, don’t you smirk at me!” My mother roared with surprising strength. I gaped at her—I wasn’t used to seeing her as anything but weak and powerless. “Things have changed around here, boy,” she said in the same sharp tone. “And if you try anything, I’ll find out about it! You mind your elders,” she added. “I wouldn’t want to have to come after you.”
A chill of fear crawled down my spine as I looked around for my father. He was nowhere in sight. The kitchen table, rickety and missing a chair, was heaped with newspapers and plastic bags, but I knew there was no food inside. Finding anything to eat in my parents’ house was always like searching for a needle in a haystack, and I knew it was damn near impossible.
“Dad?” I called out as I ducked my head outside. The backyard of the house was covered with a patchy lawn. Even though we technically lived in Chicago, it didn’t look much like a city. The area had once been a nice neighborhood, but years of drugs and gang activity had robbed the house of anything that could have once been considered beautiful. Now all of the houses were just as run down as ours was. I glanced nervously across the street. The house across from ours was missing both windows in the front, making it look like a gap-toothed smile of an old man. My shoulders slumped.
“Mom, I can’t find Dad,” I called as I walked into the yard. “Where is he? Did he say where he was going to go?”
My mother came out with her bony hands on her bonier hips. “No, smart-ass, he didn’t tell me,” she said in a snippy voice. “But you better make sure he doesn’t spend all of his money down at that damn club again.” My mother’s gray eyes flashed with anger. She was going blind, but I knew she could still see me perfectly. Even though that should have given me comfort, I couldn’t feel anything except fright when I thought of my mother and her intense, bug-eyed stare.
I hesitated. I didn’t want to go looking for my father, but I had a feeling that my mother wouldn’t be giving me any choice in the matter. “Do you want me to go find him?”
“How many times have I already asked you?” My mother’s face was pinched with rage and disappointment. “I swear, boy, you are about the dumbest son I could have produced,” she said as she turned away and slammed the door.
I swallowed hard. The day was hot, freakishly so, and I felt myself sweating under my thin T-shirt and work pants. Everyone always thought summers in Chicago were perfect because the winters were so bad, but that wasn’t true. It got hotter than hell sometimes, and just as humid. And I wasn’t even close enough to the lake to go swimming.
Dusk was falling, but the heat showed no sign of letting up, and my mouth was parched. I hated the idea of walking all the way to the strip club where my father spent most of his time, but I shivered when I glanced back at the house. I couldn’t go in there, not without finding him first. My mother would kill me.
With a sigh, I started trudging along the road. The heat shimmered on the pavement, and I felt it soaking up through my jeans, into my legs. The houses on either side seemed never-ending, and I shook my head, trying to catch any hint of a breeze. The air was dead still. I couldn’t even remember what month it was supposed to be.
“Enzo,” my mother called. “Enzo, hurry up! I’m not gonna wait for your slow-ass all day!”
I jumped at the sound of her shrill unhappiness. But when I turned around, there was no one there. Fear quickened in my heart, and I began to run forward, suddenly afraid of what would happen to me if I stopped.
“Please don’t hurt me,” I said and prayed under my breath as I jogged past the houses. My heart skipped in my chest, slamming against my ribs and making me feel as though I’d never be able to breathe properly again. “Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me.” The muscles in my legs were aching, but I forced myself to keep moving, to keep running, to keep going ahead in search of my father.
When I reached the end of the street, I had to lean over and rest my hands on my knees. I was breathing so hard that my chest hurt and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my body and pound away down the street until I was dead and gone and there was no ounce of Enzo Lennox left in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Enzo, you need to sit up and drink this,” a voice said, their voice severe.
“Mom?” I croaked.
“No,” the voice replied. “Enzo, this is Nurse Barnes. Now, sit up and take a drink of this broth.”
My eyes shot open. Suddenly, I was no longer at my old home, the South Side of Chicago. I was in the hospital, and my body was aching, and everything started coming back to me in a hectic rush.
“Enzo, please,” the nurse said, her tone only getting crosser. “I don’t have all day. I have other patients too, you know.” She held out a spoon overflowing with a thin, yellowish broth.
I leaned forward and tried to take the spoon from her hand. She was a slender, older woman in pink scrubs and she yanked her hand away from mine, spilling lukewarm broth all over the sheets.
“Now look what you made me do,” the nurse said in the same cross voice. “Now I’m going to have to change your sheets,” she added. “Can’t you have some of this?” She held the spoon up again.
I sighed. Realizing that she wasn’t even going to let me feed myself, I leaned forward and opened my mouth.
The broth tasted bland. It wasn’t as salty as I’d thought, and I wrinkled my nose and swallowed it down. “I need to get out of the hospital,” I said as soon as I’d swallowed. “I need to go. I need to leave right now.”
Nurse Barnes shook her head. “You’re not going anywhere.” She pointed to an illegible chart at the end of my bed. “You’re crazy if you think I’d let you leave, Enzo,” she added. “You have a severe concussion, and you’ve been unconscious for almost thirteen hours. Now, that doesn’t sound like someone who’s fine.”
“But I woke up, I feel better now,” I insisted, trying to sit up in the bed. My body was incredibly weak. I winced as I glanced down—even though it had only been a few days since I’d hit the gym, I could tell my muscle tone was starting to fade. “I promise, I feel totally fine.” I grinned at her, trying for an ounce of that old Enzo charm. “I’m totally fine to leave. Just get the doctor, and I’ll clear it with him.”
Nurse Barnes rolled her eyes. “They said you were a workaholic,” she said absentmindedly as she deftly rolled me off the bed and onto a gurney. “And they weren’t lying. Enzo, your business isn’t going to collapse after just one day of not going to work. Tell me that you understand that at least.”
I frowned at her. I knew, deep down, there was another reason why I had to leave the hospital. There was something really important and really dangerous. Why couldn’t I remember? Every time I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate, I felt like something was punching me in the head.
“I have to leave because…” I trailed off, looking down. Nurse Barnes was busy changing the sheets of the hospital bed. The gurney was stiff, and when I realized how high I was off the ground,
I felt dizzy. “I have to leave because I have something to do,” I said, trying to make my voice strong and confident. “I have something to do, and I know it’s important.”
“But you can’t even remember what it is?” Nurse Barnes looked at me and clucked her tongue. “Enzo, you’re too sick to leave the hospital,” she repeated firmly.
I sighed. This wasn’t going to work. “I have to talk to a doctor.” I pointed to my arm. There was an IV in the crook of my elbow, and when I moved, it felt like I was being pinched. “My arm hurts,” I said suddenly. “My arm’s going numb.”
“That’s because you’re moving around too much with that damn IV in,” Nurse Barnes said. Her face was red from the effort of moving me from and back to the bed. “You need to stay put. You’re never going to recover if you don’t take care of yourself, Enzo.”
“Come on,” I insisted. “It’s serious! It’s going numb!” I waved my arm wildly in the air. “Come on, nurse, don’t you realize I’m in trouble?”
She glared at me. “The only trouble you’re going to be in is the trouble that happens when I tell the doctor how much you’re misbehaving.” She shook her head and sucked her teeth, indicating disdain. “Now you need to stay put, mister. I’m going to get you your medicine, and then you’ll take it and settle down for another nap. We’ll come check on you later.”
“No!” I shouted. “No, no, that’s not going to work. I need to see a doctor now.” My heart was racing in my chest, and suddenly I was filled with fear that I wouldn’t even be able to break out of the hospital. “It’s urgent,” I said, pointing to my chest. “See, I’m hurting here, too.”
Nurse Barnes rolled her eyes as she stepped away from the bed. “Enzo, no more funny business!” She wagged a finger at me. “I know you’re lying, and I won’t stand for that.” She looked at me, and suddenly I was reminded of every female authority figure I’d ever hated. “Now you should feel lucky because I’m the nice nurse on your shift,” she hissed out, leaning down and staring me in the face. “Enzo, you behave while I get your medicine, okay?”
I sank down on the hot, starchy pillows and nodded, feeling defeated. If I couldn’t even remember why I had to leave the hospital, what the fuck was going to happen? I closed my eyes and tried to remember. I was fine. I was not at work for some reason. Why wasn’t I at work? What was I doing in a car in the middle of the day? Was I going to a meeting? Were any new clients trying to get in touch with me? What was going on?
By the time Nurse Barnes came back with a cup of pills and a clear plastic bottle of water, I was feeling more dismal and panicked than ever. She had a calm expression on her face, and I knew that I had to try one more time.
“Nurse, please,” I said in my most suave, humble voice. “I really don’t need to be here.” I laughed. “I’m fine, and I’m not even in pain. I was just lying because I wanted to see the doctor. But I really need to leave the hospital,” I added hopefully. “I don’t actually have insurance right now, and—”
“Enzo,” Nurse Barnes said sharply. “Stop lying to me, I don’t appreciate that. Your condition is not fit to leave the hospital, and you know that. Why just five minutes ago you were complaining about how weak you felt!”
“I was just frustrated.” Panic rose in my throat, and I struggled to stay calm. “I don’t need those pills either.” Nurse Barnes was offering them to me, and I cringed—three giant white pills and two smaller yellow ones were in her palm. If I took them, I was afraid I’d pass out again, and then I’d really be helpless.
“Enzo, I’m warning you, if you can’t take them on your own, I’m going to have to call in one of the other nurses.” Nurse Barnes stood with her hands on her slim hips. For a moment, I wondered about her life outside of work. Did she have friends? Family?
Family. My mind clung to the word, and I shook my head a few times, hoping to jolt myself into remembering whatever I’d forgotten.
“I’ll take them,” I said, grabbing the pills from her palm. Afterwards, she had me open my mouth. The pills were tucked under my tongue, and I had my fingers crossed under the scratchy hospital sheets so that she couldn’t see them.
“Good,” Nurse Barnes said. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” She walked out of the room, working her arms from one side to the other as though she were exercising vigorously.
When she was gone, I spat the pills into my hand and shoved them between the hospital bedframe and the mattress. I sat up quickly and was hit by a massive dizzy spell. I had to lean over and rest my face in my hands before I started to feel more awake. I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here.
Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed made me feel dizzy, too, but I kept going. Finally, I managed to stand up. My stomach growled, and suddenly I wished that I’d eaten the broth the nurse had brought me. I couldn’t remember when I’d eaten last, and I felt weak as a newborn kitten.
As casually as I could, I walked outside into the hallway. Outside of my room was a bustle of activity. Nurses rushed back and forth, all in different scrubs but with the same harried facial expression. I stepped back as a crowd of young doctors in green scrubs and white gowns rushed by, all craning their necks to see a clipboard held in one of their hands.
The nurses’ station was right down the hall. I tried to smile my best smarmy Enzo Lennox smile and strolled casually towards it. Inside, my body was aching. I felt like I was going to pass out at any minute, but I knew that I had to appear awake and feeling normal.
“Hi,” the nurse sitting at the desk chirped. “Can I help you? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I replied with a chuckle. Her face relaxed, and I got my first real burst of pride that day. Good, just keep going. Make her laugh. “I was just wondering about something.”
“Sure,” the nurse said in the same perky voice. “What can I help you with?”
“I was in a car accident,” I said, grinning and flashing my white teeth at the nurse. I watched a slight flush rise to her cheeks. “And I was wondering, who were the people working the night I was brought in?”
“What’s your name?”
“Enzo Lennox,” I said, leaning down over the counter. The nurse looked positively flushed and excited by my presence. Yes. You can do this. You’ve conned women hundreds of times before. That’s who you are. You’re Enzo, you got this.
“Alright, Enzo, just give me one moment while I run a search.” The nurse flashed me a smile, and I returned it. The nurse was older than I was and heavily overweight. Based on her reactions alone I could tell that not very many men paid attention to her.
“That’s fine,” I said, glancing behind me. No sign of Nurse Barnes. Good.
“Enzo, it looks like Dr. Mendel and Nurse Connor were taking care of you that night,” the nurse said. It was cold in the atrium, but her face was red and perspiring. As I watched, she stuck her pink tongue out of her mouth and licked her cracked lips.
“Audrey,” I said. My heart started to slam against my chest. “Audrey!”
“What?” The nurse frowned. “I’m sorry, Enzo, are you talking about someone? Nurse Connor’s first name is Sarah, not Audrey.”
I have to find Audrey. I have to find her. I have to go!
“Never mind,” I said, my voice no longer polite, pushing away from the nurses’ station and flinging myself down the hallway. Suddenly, I remembered everything perfectly. I’d been in a car accident. I’d been in the car with Audrey, and some new asshole chauffeur deliberately got in a crash.
The next details were fuzzier. I remembered being brought into the hospital, and I remembered asking about Audrey. So why hadn’t I remembered her when I’d come out of that sleep?
The image of the white pills flashed into my mind. “Fuck!” I howled. Whatever they’d given me to help me sleep must have completely erased my memories of the previous events. God fucking dammit. If I don’t find Audrey soon, I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen to he
r. And how much time has it been already? That bitch nurse said that I’d been asleep for almost half a day. So how much time did I waste in that stupid hospital bed?
My heart was pounding, and my head was aching, but I knew that no matter what, I had to find a way out of the hospital. I had to get to Audrey, I had to warn her somehow that she was in grave danger. That we were both in grave danger unless I acted quickly.
“Sir, are you okay?” A nurse stepped forward. “You look like you’re not feeling well. Can I help you back to your room?”
“No!” I shouted. “I’m sorry,” I added quickly. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I stepped back. “I’m fine, thanks.” I turned on my heel and ran down the hallway.
Getting out of the hospital was a nightmare. Every corner brought nurses, doctors, and techs who were all desperate to see me get back to my room. Plus, the place was like a goddamn maze. No matter which way I turned, I still felt like I was lost.
