by Sophia Gray
“These are for you.” He hoped she would like them. He thought he had seen her mouth twitch, but it was too quick to tell. Anna got to her feet and took the flowers from him, putting them in an empty vase by the window.
“Thank you.” Teresa looked at him and he felt her gaze, giving him a long, hard look. “Anna, could you please give us a few minutes?” she asked her friend with a softer tone than the one she had used on Vance.
Anna looked at the both of them, clearly in doubt, and Teresa had to press on. “Please? I’ll be okay.”
That seemed to be good enough for Anna, who took her bag and passed by Vance without giving him a second glance. She closed the door rather loudly, making a point that she did not agree with leaving them alone, and silence descended.
Vance shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He knew he should say something, but he honestly did not know what to say. What would be the right thing to say to her? That he was sorry? That he loved her?
Everything would sound fake to her, so he waited for Teresa to make the first move. She took her time before opening her mouth again, but Vance waited patiently in silence.
“Sit, please,” she said, looking away from him. Vance took a seat clumsily in the chair beside the bed and opened his mouth. Nothing came out, so he closed it again.
“Why? Why did you do it?”
Teresa’s question was so straightforward and her voice was full of such raw, anguished pain that Vance wished he were dead. He wished he could just vanish through the ground, so he did not have to face the pain he had caused the only person he had ever cared about. But he could not, and she deserved to know the truth, so he took a deep breath.
“I was lost,” he started. Teresa looked up and looked into his eyes. She needed to see that his words were genuine.
Vance trembled, but clenched his fists and went on. “I was an outcast, a nobody. I had no future and had been stumbling about since I was a teenager. That’s when I found the Grim Rebels. You had already left, and I think that is why your father hand-picked me. I didn’t even get the band’s tattoo at that point. Jimmy came to me one night when I was drinking in the club with some others, showed me your pictures, and told me that if I married you, I would inherit the club. Where else would I get a deal like that? So, of course, I said yes. I was stupid. I was scared to refuse.”
Once he started speaking, he was relieved to discover that every word came easier than the previous one. He felt as if he had lifted a burden off his soul, and went on with more energy than before.
“So, I came here and tried to get close to you. I learned what you liked and did everything I could to make you like me. When you agreed to go on a date with me, I thought everything was going well, according to the plan – but there was something that I didn’t expect. I was falling in love with you,” he confessed.
Teresa’s eyes pierced him so deep he was sure she could read his mind. She did not say anything, so he continued talking.
“That first night, when your father appeared at your place, I got carried away and told him we were getting married. That wasn’t part of the plan, believe me – I had been so focused on getting to know you, on falling for you, that I had not reported back to him or given any updates, and I suppose he went to your place to check up on both of us. When I saw him there yelling at you, I saw what he really was and I knew I could never drag you to his club. I wanted you to be truly free from him, and if by marrying you I would help you out, then I would. But that same day, when I proposed again in the kitchen – and when I proposed again at your spot, I had already made up my mind to never go back to the club. I wanted to cut ties with them and run away with you.”
He felt his sore throat after talking so much.
“Then why did you never tell me the truth?” Teresa asked him. Vance closed his eyes for a moment. Because I was a coward. I was too afraid to lose you. That was why.
“I feared you would leave me. I wanted to tell you, believe me – but I have always been a damn coward when it came to what really mattered. So, I hid it from you and decided to tell you after we got married. The idea of you leaving me was so terrifying that I fooled myself into thinking that it would be okay to tell you after it. I know it was foolish and that I should have told you the truth from the very beginning – but I didn’t know whether you were marrying me out of love or just out of convenience, and I didn’t want to find out, either.” He was rambling. That one fear had haunted him for days.
“Was anything you told me true? About your family and your past? About you?” Teresa asked. He could feel the sadness in her and his hand moved to grab hers without thinking. When she did not flinch, or move it away, he felt encouraged.
“Everything! The only thing I hid from you was the stuff about the Grim Rebels, but everything else was the truth. About my father, my mother, and my brother’s accident, about me and about everything else. Please, believe me!” he begged. “I never wanted to hurt you, Teresa. I’m so sorry. Please, please believe me.”
Teresa looked at him and a faint but uncertain smile spread across her face.
“I… I think I do,” she whispered. Vance felt like crying, but he held on and smiled at her.
“I love you, Tess. I know that one thing is true, truer than anything else in my life. And if you give me a chance, if you can forgive me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and proving to you that I love you more than anything in this world. I will never ever lie to you again. Please.” His heart was racing.
“I’m still hurt, Vance,” Teresa said quietly. “But if what you said is true, then I think I can forgive you. It’ll be hard some days, but we will take it slow.” Teresa gave him a small smile.
Vance felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders and his body felt five hundred times lighter. He nodded fervently in agreement. He understood that, and he would prove to her that she would never regret that decision.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Teresa
Teresa was relieved to see that he was ready to accept her terms. What Vance had just told her… she wanted to believe everything was the truth. She knew that her father was manipulative enough to offer him such a deal and who would have refused that offer? She could not blame him for taking it, but she had been so stupid as to fall in love with him and she had opened up to him. The pain she felt from the lies and betrayal was still raw. She couldn’t just forget about it, and they would need to take things slowly if they wanted to make their marriage work.
“I…” Teresa started, wandering off mid-sentence. “I had given up on men long ago. Every man that I dated used me and had been as abusive and manipulative as my father, and I did not want that in my life.” Vance looked at her in silence, encouraging her to continue. “That was why, in the beginning, I didn’t want to date you. It was easier to just be alone. But you were different – you treated me well, like an equal, and you dazzled me with your charms.” She smiled slightly.
“I have many of those,” Vance joked doubtfully, and Teresa laughed a little.
“Your sense of humor was one,” she said. “The point is, that when you asked me to marry you after our first date, I did not say yes out of love: it was to get rid of my father, and I thought that if things did not work out in the end, I would just file for a divorce and get rid of you as well.” Teresa saw the pain in Vance’s eyes, but she had to be truthful. “That was at first, though, because the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with you. And when you proposed at the lookout I forgot everything about my plan, about my father, and I threw caution to the wind. I realized I loved you and I wanted to spend my life with you.” Vance remained silent, and she went on.
“The point is, I also had my own secrets and hidden agenda, and I can understand what you did. What I can’t forgive so easily is that you never told me the truth. I know you were afraid… but you should have trusted me,” she said, looking at him hard. Vance’s face showed regret.
“That is why I can forg
ive you, but right now we can’t go back to what we had before. It will take time. Are you willing to take it slowly?” she asked. “I may be difficult at times, and I don’t trust you completely just yet – but I want to work at it, if you’re willing.”
That was her offer. He could either take it or leave it, but she would not negotiate. She had thought a lot about it when Vance had left the day before, and she really did want to give it a try – even if Anna was completely against it – but it had to be on her terms, or it would not happen at all. And as heartbreaking as that would be, she couldn’t be with him like this.
“Yes. We will do it your way. I will do whatever you need me to do until you trust me again,” Vance said. “I love you.”
Teresa’s heart skipped a beat, and she smiled, relieved. “Well then, now I think you should leave before Anna comes back and throws you out of the window,” Teresa joked, and Vance got to his feet. “Will you come back later?”
“I’ll be back later this afternoon,” he promised.
“I’ll be here,” she said with a humorless smile and watched him leave the room with a warm feeling inside, a feeling not even Anna could extinguish when she stormed into the room, angry because she had talked to that scum that calls himself your husband. But Teresa did not care – Anna would understand eventually. Teresa was too happy at the thought of giving her marriage a chance… of giving Vance a chance.
She spent another week in the hospital before she was released and Vance went to see her every day, at least twice. He went every morning and always brought something with him: another book, breakfast, something from her apartment that she had said she needed, and one day he even brought flowers for Anna, in an attempt to win her over. Teresa found that extremely funny and knew that Anna was starting to warm up to him again.
When he came in the morning to the hospital, they usually talked for an hour or so about themselves. Vance had decided to tell her a little bit about him every day so she could get to know him better, the real him without a thin veil of lies rooted from her father. Teresa listened to his stories with great interest.
Then he would leave, either for his new job at a carpenter’s or for the charity, where he still volunteered from time to time – Peter and the others had accepted him back again. At night, before dinner, Vance would come return to the hospital and would tell her everything he had done during the day.
Teresa liked their new routine: it allowed her to get to know Vance again and gave her enough space to get used to the situation. Vance had not made a single move on her, except for taking her hand in his from time to time, and she appreciated the respect and personal space he was giving her.
The day she was released from the hospital, Vance was waiting for her at the entrance. They had decided that Anna would take Teresa home, but he wanted to help.
“Hi,” he said when Teresa walked over to him. “You look lovely.”
Teresa chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Half-bald and with my arm stuck in plaster,” she joked.
She really regretted what they had done to her hair, although it was growing back pretty fast and she was not completely bald anymore. Her black hair was the length of Vance’s hair.
“Short hair suits you. Honestly.”
His smile warmed her heart, and she smiled back. Anna pulled up to the curb with the car and got out to help Teresa get in.
“Hello, Vance. What are you doing here?” she asked, less coldly than usual. Vance shifted his weight between his feet and cleared his throat before talking.
“I wanted to invite Teresa to dinner. It does not have to be today: any day you want, Tess. I’ll go to your place and cook for you and then I will go back home. That is all,” he said, showing the palm of his hands in a gesture of peace.
Teresa’s heart fluttered in her chest, and although she knew Anna was biting her tongue to refrain from answering, she was pretty excited about it.
“Sure, that sounds good. Is tomorrow good for you?” Vance grinned, and the butterflies awoke again in her stomach.
“Tomorrow is perfect,” he replied, helping her into the passenger seat. “I’ll see you then.” He jumped on his motorbike and left.
Anna and Teresa drove silently to Teresa’s place. Anna helped her settle in, and Teresa sighed when she was finally home. Anna had cleaned up the place during Teresa’s stay in the hospital.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Anna asked for the thousandth time.
Teresa laughed. “I’m okay, Anna. My ribs are pretty much healed, and I can handle a broken arm.” Anna bit her tongue again, and Teresa sighed. “Spit it out, Anna. What is it?”
Anna let out a deep breath before speaking. “Are you sure it’s a good idea? Having dinner with Vance, I mean,” she said, worried about her.
“I know what you mean… and I really do. I want to give this marriage a chance. I know you think he does not deserve it,” she said before Anna could interrupt her. “But I have also been a victim of my father’s manipulations, and I have done many things I regret in my past. I was given a second chance, and he should have it too.”
Anna remained quiet for a bit before giving in.
“Okay, if you say so… but I’m going to keep an eye on him,” she warned her.
Teresa laughed out loud. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Anna smiled and kissed her goodbye, promising her she would come back in the morning to check up on her before work.
Teresa managed to put on her pajamas by herself and laid down in bed, thinking about Vance. Her mind screamed it was a bad idea to be with him, but her heart was stronger. She still loved him, in spite of everything that had happened, and she wanted to follow her heart’s desires for once.
Chapter Thirty
Vance
Vance paced the street in front of Teresa’s apartment with his heart in a fist. He was so nervous he feared he would throw up. He had talked to Teresa on the phone that very morning, and they had agreed to meet at 8:00 pm. It was 7:30 pm and Vance was already there with a bag full of food he was going to cook for Teresa.
He knew that every time he saw her and every time he talked to her was a chance she was giving him to prove he was truthful, to prove that he really loved her. Tonight would be their first date, and the chances of ruining everything were even greater.
Vance looked at his phone again, after pacing for a while. 7:42.
It was just under twenty minutes to the hour, and he was already losing his cool. He decided that he would rather be early than wait around for his anxiety to grow even more. He did not use his key, which still hung from his key ring, and rang the bell of her apartment number. Teresa did not take long to answer to the buzz.
“Yes?”
Vance’s heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice. When would it stop doing that?
“Hi, it’s Vance,” he answered, a bit shaky.
“You’re early!” she sounded surprised, but pleased at the same time, and Vance felt a wave of relief rushing through his body. She was not mad at him for being earlier than planned. He knew it was a stupid thing to fear, but he had not been calm in a very long time. “Come in,” Teresa added, and a buzzing sound indicated that the door was open.
He stepped into the hall and went into the elevator. When it stopped on Teresa’s floor, the door of her apartment was open, and she was on the doorstep, waiting for him with a smile. She looked as beautiful as ever: she wore old jeans and a sleeveless shirt that could fit her plastered arm, and she had combed her hair to hide the small scar in a way that really suited her face. The marks and bruises from the accident were fading, and she looked really lovely.
“You look beautiful,” Vance told her when he saw her, his breath taken away. Teresa laughed, slightly ashamed, and motioned for him to come inside. Vance obeyed and went to the kitchen to store the food. Teresa walked behind him.
“You look good, too,” she said.
“Thanks.” Vance smiled, his face reddening, and started to s
tore the food. He turned around and smiled wider at Teresa. “So, do you want me to start cooking dinner?”
Teresa was sitting on a chair at the dinner table. “Sure. You know where everything is already, right?” Vance nodded. “Do you want me to help you?”
“Not at all! Tonight is my treat. I brought some non-alcoholic beers – you know, because of your meds – so I’ll open one for you, and you can just lay back, relax, and watch the expert cook,” he boasted, and Teresa laughed at his cockiness.
He got two beers out of the fridge and opened them, handing one to Teresa and taking one for himself. He took a big swig, enjoying the carbonated, refreshing taste.
“Thank you,” Teresa said, then drank from her bottle. “And what are you going to prepare tonight, chef?”
“My most famous dish: a good, tender beef steak.”
