Carefully, he laid each quilt across her, bundling her like a cocoon. Then he went to the fireplace and added another log. He returned, sat down beside her, and stroked the side of her face. Gradually, heat warmed her, making her shivering cease.
He was torn between leaving to find a doctor, and staying so that she could hear his confession. He feared if he left now and she died, he’d never forgive himself. If she happened to die, he wanted her to know the truth.
“Nicole,” he frowned, “I’m not stealing from my railroad. I don’t know if you believe me, but I’m not sure how to convince you of my innocence. Tell me, and I’ll do it.”
Silence stretched between them as she studied his face. Another tear slid from her eye and into her hair. “Do you honestly think I have been pretending with you this whole time?”
It took him a moment to ponder her question before he shrugged. “Maybe not the whole time, but you have to admit that you haven’t been completely honest with me since we met at the masked ball.”
More tears leaked from her eyes. “No, I haven’t been at all.”
“Are…” He hesitated in asking her his next question, but he needed to know. “Are you the person robbing the train?”
Her eyes widened and she gasped. “Are you addled?”
The odd response, and the way she said it, made him chuckle lightly. “Well, that’s an entirely different subject, I’m sure. But my question was very serious.”
“Why would you think I’m the train robber?”
“A few reasons, really. Glynn mentioned that the police suspect you, your brother, and Mrs. Phelps.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, believe me, we are the last people the police would suspect. I don’t know why, but Glynn was lying.” She swallowed hard. “Why else did you suspect me?”
He took a deep breath. “Mrs. Browning knows your companion, Mrs. Phelps. The widow seems to recall a time a few years past when Mrs. Phelps had stolen an expensive painting, but she was never arrested. Then there’s the fact that you haven’t been fully honest about your family. And I did catch you on the train with a man you claimed was your brother, and you were both poorly dressed.” He swept his fingertips near her eyes, removing her tears. “I’ve known since we first met that you weren’t telling me the truth, but it intrigued me and I wanted to know more about you. The more I discovered, the more charming you became.”
“But…you threatened to shoot me.” Her voice cracked.
Inwardly, he groaned and shook his head. “A mistake I’m paying for, I assure you. Please forgive me for allowing anger and doubt to warp my judgment.”
She sniffed. “Forgive me for not being honest with you. I didn’t want to think you were the thief. In fact, my heart tried to tell me you weren’t, but everything else pointed in your direction.”
“What proof do you think you have?”
“Mainly, it’s how your wealth has doubled since the trains have been robbed.”
“Oh, good grief.” He chuckled, but humor didn’t have anything to do with the irritation surging through him. “My wealth doubled because I know how to invest my money. My investments paid off, and yes, my income has doubled. I have proof of that, so if you don’t trust my word and want further evidence, you can speak to my accountant—the man who has handled my investments.”
Growling, he rubbed his forehead, realizing dried blood was all over his hands. “But I suppose what bothers me more is wondering why you are interested in my holdings. Why do you even care how much money I’ve made lately?” He really didn’t want to know she was just like the other women…just like Agatha Carlton, the woman he’d almost married.
Slowly, she rolled her head from side to side. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”
“Try me.” Using his hand, he stopped her head from moving so she could look at him once more. “This is the time, Nicole. We are opening up to each other. Don’t break the bond we are sharing right now.”
* * * *
Nicole grew weaker by the minute, but she didn’t know if it was due to how much blood she lost or if it was her desire to just give up the charade she’d been playing with him. She had been wrong about him, terribly wrong, and because of the things they had said, she knew the damage had been done. Nothing would be the same after this.
The burning pain in her shoulder wasn’t lessening, and that worried her. She needed a doctor and soon. Her wounds needed to be sewn up. Her brother and father had been shot a few times, and she’d watched as they were cared for, which was how she knew what Ashton needed to do with her.
“My father and my brother are…secret agents,” she began slowly, “hired by none other than President Arthur to find the person—or persons—responsible for these train robberies.”
She waited for his response, staring deeply into his hazel eyes to gauge his reaction. It took only a few seconds, but soon his mouth stretched into a smile, flashing the dimple she loved to see.
He leaned over and caressed her cheek again. “Sweetheart, perhaps we should talk about this later. You are delirious, and you have lost a lot of blood.”
His comment, mixed with his odd reaction, made her chuckle. The movement brought more pain to her shoulder and she cringed. “Oh, Ashton. I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”
He tilted his head to the side. “So, if they are secret agents, does that mean you are one, too?”
“Well, not entirely. I mean, I want to be one, but my father doesn’t think that’s what I should be doing with my life.”
“And you don’t agree with him, correct?”
She managed a small smile. “I’ve been assisting my brother on a few cases. In fact, the night we met, I was taking something from General Babcock’s study. I had it hidden in my gown as I came down the stairs, mere seconds before I fell into your arms.”
The light of awareness made his face take on more color. “I wondered what you were doing in his study.”
“You knew I was there?”
He nodded. “Before we met, I was outside the house and saw you in the study. Even Babcock himself talked to me from the window for a minute. I’m assuming you were hiding in there during that time.”
She thought back to that night and recalled the moment. “Were you the one he thought was in his wife’s flower garden?”
Ashton nodded. “That was me.” He blew out a gush of air and frowned. “What did you steal from Babcock?”
“I found a journal that had the information we were looking for. I gave it to my brother who then turned it over to the President. That’s the reason I left you right after you caught my fall, because I needed to deliver the journal to my brother. He waited outside for me.”
Ashton’s face softened. “It sounds like you’re a secret agent to me, even if you don’t have the title.”
“I’ll never get the title.” Another pain shot through her and she grimaced. “Not now. Not when my father finds out. He doesn’t know that I was secretly watching you—or sneaking through your house to look for evidence.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I believed you most of the time.”
“Ashton, I wasn’t pretending about my feelings. I really care for you, which made it difficult to think you were the train robber.”
Once again, silence fell between them. The only noise was the popping of the wood in the fireplace. Soon, he removed his stare and looked toward the fire. Her heart dropped. Apparently, he didn’t return her feelings. So then why had he acted as if he found pleasure in her arms as she had his?
After a few awkward minutes, he cleared his throat and looked her way. “I’m telling you the truth now. I’m not the train robber.” He took a deep breath. “What can I do to make you believe me?”
“I’m not the only one you need to convince,” she whispered brokenly. “And the way they see it, you are the main suspect.” It was an effort, but she lifted her good hand to touch his arm. “Ashton, I’m only trying to help and prepare you for—”
; “If you were trying to help me, then you’d talk to your family and convince them of my innocence.” He scowled.
Her heart broke, mainly to think her last words here on this earth would be of anger and pain. More than anything, she wanted him to know how she truly felt about him. Before her body finally succumbed to death’s door, she must tell him. “Ashton…”
Sounds from the hallway boomed through the empty house, making Ashton swing around. “The servants are back.”
He moved to stand but she tried to stop him with her hand. Unfortunately, she was very weak and couldn’t. Her arm plopped to the ground beside her. “Ashton, don’t go. There’s something…I need…to tell you.”
“You can tell me later. We need to find a doctor for you,” he said, standing.
“Please, Ashton. Stay…with me.”
“I’ll be right back, I assure you.”
As he headed out the door, she closed her eyes, tears slipping freely now. “I love you,” she muttered just before the pain in her arm slowly disappeared and her world turned dark.
THIRTEEN
Sounds carried through Nicole’s head as if she were dreaming. Several different voices she didn’t recognize. Only one stood out, warming her heart. Ashton spoke to her. Strange that she could hear him after she was dead, but he was telling her to hold on—not to give up. He coaxed her in a gentle voice, and she thought she felt his hand touch her cheek and stroke her arm. But how could she feel that if she were already dead? Ghosts couldn’t feel things, could they? Then again, how would she know since she’d never been a ghost before?
“Oh, Ashton.” She heard herself say his name, but didn’t remember her lips moving. Nothing made sense in the dreamlike world where she floated on a cloud, not really seeing anything, only hearing bits and pieces. Thankfully, though, the pain in her arm was gone. She’d always believed that after she died, she’d be made whole again when she lived in Heaven.
Gradually, the fuzziness in her head disappeared. Her shoulder began to throb with pain, and even the sounds around her became clearer. Two women were talking; one was giving instructions to someone. Apparently, Nicole hadn’t died after all, unless she did and came back to life.
She slowly opened her eyes. The sunlight streaming through the open curtains made her squint. Another pain shot through her, but in her head this time. She closed her eyes and moaned, rolling her head away from the direct light.
“Oh, youz awake! Quick chile, go fetch Missah Lee,” the older woman instructed the other young woman in the room.
Nicole felt a hand on top of her head. “Miz Nicole? Can ya hear me?”
“Yes,” Nicole croaked.
The hand disappeared from her head and a few seconds later came back with a damp towel, placing it in the same spot. “Youz still a little feverish.”
Once more, Nicole tried to open her eyes. Instead of the sunlight, she saw the woman’s face. Round and very plump, the dark skinned woman had the cheeriest smile and kindest eyes. Nicole thought her accent sounded like she could have come from the deep south. “Who…are you?”
The older woman smiled. “I’z Patsy. I’z Missah Lee’s housekeeper.”
Nicole tried to smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Patsy.” Her gaze moved past the housekeeper to sweep around the room. “Where am I?”
“Youz in Missah Lee’s guestroom.”
“Where is Ashton?”
“I sent Veronica ta fetch him.”
Nicole rolled her head again to peer at her shoulder. Clean white bandages were wrapped neatly around her shoulder, appearing very professional. “Ashton found a doctor?”
“Waal, I’z not a doctah, but I’z de best around deez parts.” She puffed her chest proudly. “I helped de doctahs where I used to live.”
Nicole tried to smile again. “I’m sure you did a wonderful job, and the bandage looks clean.”
“Yes’m, Miz Nicole. I try to keep ya well ‘nuff, so dat ya can heal.”
Heavy boot steps rattled the floor in the hallway as if someone were hurrying to her room. Seconds later, Ashton walked in. He wore different clothes from when she’d seen him last. A white shirt with a brown tie, a gray vest and black trousers—that looked exceptionally good on him—were clean without a single spot of her blood. Naturally, he would have had to change by now. He wasn’t as clean shaven as she had thought he’d be, but nonetheless, he was still quite handsome.
When his gaze met hers, he smiled and rushed to her bedside. Gently, he took hold of her hand. “How are you feeling?”
She swallowed hard, hoping to get rid of the dryness in her mouth. “I’m hurting, but it’s not as bad as before.”
“Are you hungry?”
Just the mention of food had her stomach grumbling. “Yes.”
He looked at the older woman. “Patsy, will you get her something from the kitchen?”
“Yes’m, Missah Lee. I do dat lickety-split.” She bustled out of the room, her gray servant’s dress swishing around her wide hips.
“Patsy tells me she took care of my wound,” Nicole said, getting Ashton’s attention once more.
“Yes. I knew I could trust her. I’ve known her for years.”
“She is very kind.”
He rubbed her hand softly. “You had a high fever, and Patsy assumed it was infection setting in your body. She found some herbs to heal you.” His smile relaxed. “I’m relieved to see they worked. It was touch and go there for a while. We were all very worried about you.”
Confusion swam in her head. What did he mean by there for a while? “How long have I been here?”
“Three days.”
Shock vibrated through her and she gasped. She couldn’t possibly have been here that long. “Three days?” Oh dear, she had to get out of here. Her family must be worried out of their mind by now. She tried to sit up, but between the pain in her shoulder and Ashton holding her to the bed, she couldn’t move.
“Nicole, would you stay still? You shouldn’t move yet.”
The panic surging through her must give her strength. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. “But…but…I’ve been here for three days. Does my family know I was shot?”
“No, but Mrs. Phelps does. I sent for her that first night. She let your father and brother know that you are with your cousin for a week.”
Relieved, she relaxed again. “Thank you for getting her. She was the only one who knew about your dinner party. She even made my dress for that night.”
His expression hardened. “Tell me, Nicole. Have you lied to people your whole life?”
Tears burned her eyes and she blinked. Now she realized the error in her decision to lie to him, but it was too late. “Not all of my life, but mostly it has been that way. My father has been a secret agent for the government for as long as I can remember. Even as a child I knew not to tell anyone.”
He stood, folding his arms. “It sounds to me like you have lived a sad life. And here I thought nobody could possibly have a past worse than mine.”
How could he possibly have a sad life? Something deep inside her heart wanted to probe, but she knew he was waiting for answers…answers she needed to give. “I did have a sad life. I didn’t have any close friends, unless they were older women like Mrs. Phelps who was our servant. I learned that trust was something that shouldn’t be given out easily.”
He studied her through a narrowed stare. His jaw was hard, and yet sadness coated his hazel eyes. “Tell me honestly, Nicole. Do you believe I could have robbed my own train?”
More tears leaked from her eyes and her heart clenched even tighter. If she could only express the guilt that was in her heart. “No, Ashton. I never wanted to believe you had done that, even after the reports started coming in about people seeing a man who looked like you on the train just before they were robbed. My heart fought against the evidence that your wealth had doubled as I tried to convince myself that there must be a very good reason why you have more money now.” She swallowed the lump of emotion clogging her t
hroat that made her voice croak. “And the only reason I had searched your study was to find proof that you were not the thief.”
Sighing, he raked his fingers through his hair. The scowl he’d worn left his expression, but leaving his stare blank and unaffected. “Thank you for believing in my innocence. However, there’s still the fact that your family thinks I’m guilty.”
She nodded.
“So how can I change their mind?”
“I don’t know. Unless…” She nibbled her bottom lip as a ridiculous—impossible thought struck her. What was she thinking? If her father ever found out, he’d have her hide for this.
“Unless, what?” he asked, anxiously.
She moistened her dry lips with her tongue. “What if you and I worked together without my family knowing? We could find the true culprit.”
Ashton didn’t say a word for the longest time. His gaze stuck to hers, but she didn’t dare disturb his thinking. She prayed he’d soon forgive her, but she didn’t dare hope. She’d hurt him badly, and she didn’t know how to make up for it.
“So tell me,” he began, “how do you expect to do all of that with an injured arm?”
Slowly, she smiled. “Very slowly, and with careful planning.”
Nodding, he relaxed a bit. “Fine. I suppose it’s something. I don’t want to go to jail if I can help it.”
She shifted in bed, grimacing from the pain. “So first things first. Let’s get me healed quickly so we can get started.”
“What about your family? Are you going to make them think you’re still with your cousin in Ft. Bridger?”
She nodded. “Yes, they must continue to think that. However, please send a note to Mrs. Phelps and have her come here so I can tell her.”
Patsy bustled into the room with a tray of soup. Ashton helped Nicole sit up, stuffing more pillows behind her. A wave of dizziness washed through her, and she closed her eyes, hoping it would pass quickly. This was normal after losing so much blood. But she had to stay strong.
Too Many Secrets Page 11
