Her nervousness at voicing her need, her apprehension at the thought of him rejecting her advances yet again, speared his heart. But the challenge lacing her tone provoked him. She was daring him to set aside his shit and give in to the desire.
He wouldn’t have his own mate thinking he didn’t want her, when she was all he wanted in the world.
No more distance.
Rhys’ control snapped. He lunged.
He took her to the plush carpet, stretching out on top of her as she landed on her belly. She growled and reached back. Her nails dug through his pants and into his thigh. He growled, the slight pain only heightening his arousal. He ground himself against her as he kissed and nipped the back of her neck. Running his hands along her sides. Stretching her arms above her. Makenna turned her head, and he devoured her mouth. She tried to take control. Rhys wasn’t having that. She’d issued a challenge, daring him to give in to the urges, and he was meeting it.
Her surprise saddened him. Her raging desire fired his own. Their tongues battled. Hunger exploded between them, turning fierce. Desperate. Feral. She wasn’t going to surrender. That was fine. He could use a good battle for dominance, like they used to have before...He refused to let his mind sink into thoughts that had no place in their passion. He’d remind her tonight whom she belonged to.
Rhys traced a path with his lips down her neck. The urge to mark her again, to replace his brands that had faded on her skin, consumed him. He brushed her hair aside, still capturing her hands with one of his, and sank his teeth into her nape.
Makenna reared back, hissing. Pleasure burst along their bond even as she bucked, trying to throw him off her back. Lost as he was in her taste, the move worked. She flipped them over. The moment his teeth released her, she slid off of him and twisted. Landing astride him, she buried her hands in his hair and pulled tight. Holding his head still, she sealed her mouth to his. Trying to take control again.
Rhys grinned inwardly. He knew it was her nature. Knew the goddess wanted to own him as much as Makenna did. But though she may be more powerful than him in some ways, on this night, she would submit.
It wasn’t about power. It wasn’t that he craved control. He thrived on their battles for dominance. Loved the fact she wanted him so much she had to own him as he needed to own her. Sometimes she would submit to him and yes, at times he would submit to her. Here, in the fire of passion, they were equal. But he couldn’t resist the desire to have this powerful being cede her control to him. Letting him give them what they both wanted and needed.
Rhys flipped them again without even breaking their kiss. He pressed his aching length between her thighs, loving her gasp as he pinned her to the floor. She arched against him.
“You have too many clothes on.” Unleashing her claws, she shredded his T-shirt.
“I think you’re right.” He slipped out of his leathers, then rested back over her.
Confusion narrowed her eyes as he palmed her skin. “What changed?”
Rhys didn’t want to talk. But she deserved the truth. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. You’re right. We need each other.” He nibbled on her neck. “I wouldn’t have survived it if I’d lost you today.”
“Shh.” She scratched her nails up and down his back. He growled low. “Let’s not talk about that. Let’s just be together.”
“As you wish.”
The frenzied lust that had gripped them earlier took hold again. She clawed at his shoulders. He devoured every inch of her skin, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to be inside her.
Rhys flipped her over onto her hands and knees. Grabbing Makenna’s hips hard enough to bruise, feeling she loved it, he buried himself deep inside her, so hard it forced her forward onto her elbows. He paused as they both gasped. But his need for her wouldn’t let him stay still. She reared back against him, not in the mood for waiting either.
This. This was what he’d missed. Losing himself in her. Forgetting the war and pain and death around him and remembering the light she brought to his life. The balance. The love.
As he plunged hard and fast, she tried to raise up and reach back for him. Pressing a hand to the center of her spine, he kept her in place. Rhys kicked her thighs wider with his knee, allowing him to go even deeper. Makenna cried his name as her pleasure caressed him through their bond.
It was always like this. One’s passion heightened the other’s. Rhys didn’t know where he ended and she began. Makenna was all. Their love blotted out everything else.
When he couldn’t hold back any longer, Rhys leaned forward and nipped her ear. “Now, Kenna. Come now.”
With his words they both exploded. The world stopped. Nothing existed but the two of them soaring in ecstasy. When they came down from their high, they collapsed on the floor, panting.
Rhys rolled her over and rested his head between her breasts. He spoke against her skin. “I love you, Kenna.”
Makenna threaded her fingers through his long hair. “I love you, too.”
They remained quiet, the only sound their heated breath. Both enjoying the silence, the serenity of the moment.
Finally, Rhys kissed her chest and pushed himself up. He rose to his feet and held out a hand. Not a word was said as they showered, caring for each other. He’d missed this. When they were first mated, it had been their time. Sometimes it got heated; sometimes they simply took pleasure from each other’s presence and touch. Either way, it was their time to reconnect. To feed from one another’s strength.
Their time to breathe.
Those moments had been in short supply lately, and it was mostly his fault. But he couldn’t regret sparing her pain. Sparing her the burden he carried. He refused to think about the other reason. Especially after almost losing her. And he refused to admit it was simply too difficult for him to break a lifetime of habit and completely depend on someone else, even though he expected her to fully depend on him. That made him a bastard, but he wouldn’t add to the agony already boiling in her gut.
Half an hour later, they lay entwined in bed, the curtains from the French doors swaying in the evening breeze. Rhys would’ve been utterly content had it not been for the unease and fear rolling from Makenna. He’d hoped she’d be able to find peaceful sleep after their love making.
Apparently that wouldn’t be the case.
She stroked his chest and planted a kiss there. “Talk to me, Rhys.”
Playing dumb wasn’t the best plan, but it was all he had. “About what?”
“You’ve hardly said a word to me for weeks. I mean, other than discussing battle plans. I’m worried about you.” Makenna rested her chin on her hands. “You’re pulling away from me.” He opened his mouth to argue and she shook her head. “Don’t deny it. You never tell me how you’re feeling, and you block me out. We need to talk. Especially after today.”
At her words, his utter terror at what had almost happened barreled into his system again. Not that it had really left. He’d never been so terrified in all his life. Even when Makenna had been tied to a stake to be burned, he hadn’t been this afraid. Their bond was so vibrant and open then, he’d known she was working her hands free. Known she had a plan. This time, she could’ve been taken from him before she even had a chance to fight back.
Rhys held back the shiver that wanted loose and swallowed the lump in his throat. “You feel what I’m feeling.”
“Not really. You’re closing off to me, Rhys. Our bond, it’s not—it’s not like it was in the beginning.” Sadness echoed in her voice. “I may not know much about all this yet, but I know it’s not supposed to be like this.”
Rhys leaned against the headboard and brought her with him. “Kenna, I’m not closing off. There are just things you’re better not having to deal with. I can handle it.”
Makenna pulled away. “I don’t need you to protect me from you.”
That was exactly what she needed; she just didn’t know it. Didn’t understand the depth of the blackness in him. Or the things he’d ha
d to do in this war to protect his pack. To stay alive. She didn’t yet grasp all the ways of their people. Didn’t understand the darkness their wolves were sometimes capable of.
“You have enough to worry about.” He tugged her back to drape over him, missing the warmth of her. “You’re doing an amazing job as Alpha. I’m so proud of you.” He kissed each cheek, then her nose. “You were not only thrown into this new life, but a brutal war. You’re handling it better than most people would. But that’s enough to bear.”
“Yeah, it’s a lot. But I can handle my shit. And I can give my mate a shoulder to lean on.” Makenna sat up. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. Then she got up and pulled on a tank top and gym shorts. “I’ve been on my own my whole life, Rhys. I may not have gone looking for a mate, but when I finally understood what it meant to have one, I sure as hell didn’t picture myself dealing with shit all alone anymore. Or watching you move farther away from me every fucking second.” She grabbed a hair tie from her nightstand and pulled her hair back. She growled as she turned to face him. “I thought you were different than the others.”
Rhys’ wolf responded, clawing at him to go to her. But as much as he wanted to drag her back to bed, he was pissed. Pissed she’d lumped him, her mate, in with all the other assholes.
He scrubbed his hands down his face. She may be a fierce warrior, but under all that viciousness and strength lay a tender heart. One he wouldn’t have polluted by the venom running through his own veins.
“You don’t have to deal with all this on your own. I’m here. I’ve been with you every step of the way, and that won’t ever change. You’re mine, Kenna.”
“So I’m supposed to lean on you but you don’t have to tell me shit?” Makenna shook her head violently. “Fuck that.” She gestured wildly between them. “You said bonding as mates would make us one.” Her eyes narrowed even as tears glinted in them. The power of the goddess within her rose to the surface, ready to defend her against him. Her own mate. Her eyes glowed gold. “We’re not anywhere near that. And I’m not sure we ever will be.”
His heart broke at the same time rage sizzled in his veins. That she would even think to negate what they had offended him and his animals. Rhys leaped from the bed and grabbed her arm just as she jumped up from putting her shoes on.
“Don’t walk away from me, Makenna. And sure as shit don’t deny what’s between us.”
She jerked her arm away and glared at him. “I’m the fucking Morrigan. I’ll do what I damn well please.” She smirked as knowledge lit her eyes. “Did you really think pounding me into the carpet was gonna fix everything? Make it all right?” Makenna backed away. “Did you really even want me, or were you just giving me what you thought I wanted to keep me in line?”
Rhys snarled. “You know I want you. You can feel it.” He stalked her as she backed toward the door. “Don’t you dare try to diminish what happened between us. I made love to you because I want you. I love you. You’re my mate. How could you even question that?”
Hurt swelled in his gut even as the rage burned. He had to do what was best for her. He hated that it pissed her off so badly, that it hurt her, but it couldn’t be helped. She’d only seen a portion of the evil that awaited them. A glimpse of the bloody, soul-consuming war. His job was to protect her, first and foremost. He wouldn’t let her beautiful soul be devoured by the darkness around them.
Her hands balled into fists at her sides. “The fact you’re even asking that just proves our bond is all jacked up. You should be able to feel it, to know what I’m thinking and why. But you don’t. Just like I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on in your head.”
She whirled for the door, and he caught her again. She turned sharply, snarling. Her eyes went wolf. Heat seared into his palm as red light raced along her skin. He dropped her arm and hissed.
“Makenna, don’t do this. Let’s talk.”
She laughed, but it sounded hollow. “Oh, now you wanna talk. Gonna feed me more bullshit? No thanks.” He reached for her again, and she bared her teeth. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
His wolf whined. His raven retreated. Their mate was rejecting them. Rhys knew it wasn’t all about him. The exhaustion, fear, and grief this war had caused weighed on them all. Still, it cut him to the bone that he’d hurt her this badly. She’d put her trust in him when she’d lived her life trusting no one. Now, in her eyes, he was breaking that trust.
He had to fix this. Surely he could give her something. Prove that everything he was doing, he did because he loved her so much.
He reached for her again and a feral rumble erupted from her chest. Her eyes flashed gold before returning to dark wolf. Even the goddess was letting him know his touch was not welcome.
Remembering how she’d thrown him through a door when he’d first informed her of what she was, Rhys took a step back. Maybe if he gave her time, she’d calm and realize he was only protecting her. Loving her in one of the few ways he knew how.
He had to let her go for now.
He forced the edge out of his voice. “Where are you going?”
“For a run.” She looked back over her shoulder. “Don’t follow me. I want to be alone.”
As his mate walked out the door, something within him broke.
He’d been so afraid of losing Makenna today. But if he wasn’t careful, it wouldn’t be Kylian or Brianna’s fault he lost her.
It would be all on him.
CHAPTER NINE
Save Tonight
“Amanda!” Heavy pounding followed the loud yell of her name.
Amanda jumped and nearly fell off the fluffy reading chair in her room. She’d curled up in a ball as soon as she’d kicked Talon out. There was no way she was returning to the infirmary.
She’d cried until her eyes were swollen and dry, trying to rid herself of the blazing pain that burned from the inside out. Normally, she’d have taken off for a long, hard run in her wolf form until she fell over from exhaustion.
That wasn’t possible for her now. Maybe not ever again.
“Amanda, it’s Bowen. Please, open the door!” Fear and hope colored his voice.
“Just a minute.”
She wiped at her eyes and made her way across the room. She could only imagine he was there to try and comfort her. Though, the emotion rolling off him in waves made no sense. Shouldn’t he be sad? They’d just lost their Beta. Trystan’s essence still lingered in the pack link, but that was probably because he’d been so powerful. Soon, it would fade. And she’d have nothing but memories to hang on to.
The door wasn’t even fully open before Bowen pushed his way in and tackled her in a hug. “Sweet lass,” he set her back and kissed her forehead. There seemed to be more affection behind it than normal. Bowen backed her to the padded stool in front of her vanity and knelt in front of her. “I have good news. Mostly.” He scratched a hand through his long, chestnut hair.
Amanda sighed and sniffed away the remainder of her tears. “What good news could you possibly have today?”
Bowen gave her a cautious smile and took her hands. “It’s Trystan. Your mate, he is not in Néamh, child. He is still with us.”
Amanda sucked in a sharp breath. The spark of hope that flared inside her died a quick death. “That’s not possible. The spell, it─” she choked on the words. “It burned him alive.”
His smile faded. “So it seemed. Yet, he survived it. Though he remains unconscious.”
Fearing to believe, Amanda shook her head. “How?” she croaked.
Bowen’s grin was full of pride. “Makenna saved him. Somehow, she was able to counter the effects of Brianna’s magic.” His eyes took on a faraway look. “The lass is indeed more powerful than any of us imagined.”
A million questions collided in Amanda’s mind, sparking even more. None of it made sense. One thought rang clear and loud through the insanity.
She had to get to Trystan.
Leaping from the stool, she nearly toppled Bowen to the ground
. “Sorry.” She threw the apology over her shoulder as she raced for the door.
She didn’t miss the beaming smile he wore.
Running as fast as she could, she slid down the stairs, plowing into Makenna from behind as her sister descended in front of her.
Makenna grabbed Amanda’s shoulders. “Hey, what’s going on? Where are you going?” There was a shadow in Makenna’s eyes.
But she didn’t have time to get into it. “Bowen just told me about Trystan.” She hugged her sister. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Amanda didn’t wait for Makenna’s response. She blew past her, out the door, and across the yard to the infirmary. Completely winded by the time she threw the door open, she didn’t take the time to be pissed about it. Trystan was all that mattered.
Her wobbly legs buckled as she skidded to a stop beside his bed. She fell to her knees. A harsh, but happy sob wrenched from her as she watched his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Her eyes flooded. She took his hand, being careful of his wounds.
“Trys. Keep fighting. Don’t leave me.” Her whispered words weren’t audible to anyone but him. If he could even hear her.
Amanda scanned his body. He looked like he’d been baked in an oven followed by a trip through a blender, but he was healing. Blackened patches of flesh were slowly shedding the burned skin and turning pink again. The myriad of gashes and bruises were closing. Some would leave scars. That was okay. He could be covered in scars and it wouldn’t matter to her.
She watched him breathe, as if she could make him keep breathing with the action.
But grief still twisted in her gut.
Talon’s continued existence was wonderful. A miracle. Yet she mourned for what they could’ve had. Watching what she’d thought was his death and beginning the process of grieving him had only highlighted the fact that, alive or dead, she could never have him.
She wished Brianna’s spell had taken her instead of trying to snatch him from the world. Death would’ve been preferable to the agony of losing her wolf, her magic, and her mate.
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