by Kay Lyons
“Goodnight, Alexandra. Sleep well.”
* * *
HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE one incredible man?”
Dylan smiled at the excited tremor he heard in Alexandra’s voice. Some women liked jewelry. Some liked flowers. Apparently Alexandra liked wolves.
They were hunkered down behind a stand of trees and brush, lying side by side for warmth beneath the overcast November sky. He’d admit flying in small planes took some getting used to, but she’d handled their short flight north without throwing up before, during or after landing. That was progress and he’d admit to a sense of pride that she’d conquered her fear to that measure. He’d have to remember Alexandra’s preference for wheel skis versus water floats in the future.
Dylan bit back a mutter. If they had a future. Their time together was short, teetering on half-truths and secrets and the length of her vacation. He couldn’t let himself get ahead of things when the future would play out in ways he couldn’t predict. All he could do was let her get to know him, feel comfortable, so that when—if—he revealed all to her, maybe it wouldn’t matter.
But being a realist, he knew the chances of that happening were against him. Odds were they wouldn’t be together in a month and he had to remember that and enjoy the moment for what it was.
“This… Dylan, they are amazing.”
“I thought you might like them,” he whispered.
She gave him an insanely seductive smile. “I definitely like them.”
Them, or him? He noted the heat and interest in her gaze and his body responded as it always did.
Tempted, Dylan leaned lower and kissed her, lingering over the caress, taking it deeper and teasing her with all the skill he possessed. She tasted like coffee and apples. Sweetness and light.
Across the field one of the wolves barked and yipped. Dylan ended the kiss, pleased to see Alexandra’s eyes were unfocused, her expression soft. They shared a smile before returning to watch the wolves playing close to their den.
Alexandra’s entire face lit up at the pups’ antics. Balancing carefully, barely a breath of sound escaped as her camera caught the wolves in action. They were shy creatures and wary of humans. He’d brought her to one of his favorite spots. He’d discovered it a year ago and kept the location to himself, needing a place to get away from Zeke’s well-meaning lectures.
While Alexandra continued to watch through her lens, he carefully set his binoculars aside and studied her. The tip of her nose was Rudolf-red, her hair sticking out from under what she referred to as her “ugly hat.” She’d never looked more beautiful.
Sending her to bed last night alone had been hard but he’d forced himself to do it, reminding himself that every minute that passed and every ounce of trust she placed in him was worth the effort.
Color began to fill his head, his thoughts shifting to the grit of trail dust, the call of crows and the rush of water over the rocks. In his mind he saw a river, Evangeline picking her way across the bank to the water’s edge…
“Dylan? Hey, where’d you go?”
Alexandra’s voice cut into the scene evolving in his mind. He blinked to find her staring at him, a smile pulling at her lips.
“What were you thinking about so intensely?”
It was the perfect time to tell her the truth. But he couldn’t tell her now. He might scare her if he blurted all here in the middle of nowhere when she was completely at his mercy.
Soon, he promised himself. “You,” he said simply, because it was the truth.
* * *
DYLAN SAT IN THE LOFT and watched the auroras roll over the sky in neon waves. He should go downstairs and wake Alexandra for the show but he couldn’t put himself in such close proximity to her and a bed and be held accountable.
His thoughts were filled with images of Alexandra and her smile today at the sight of the wolves, of Alexandra and Colt lying on the floor playing with Colt’s ranch set. Of Alexandra, period.
Maybe it would have been better if Alexandra had recognized him right from the start. Then Dylan wouldn’t be sitting here brooding over whether or not to tell her when their time together was limited.
The scuffle of a footfall sounded behind him and without turning he knew who it was. Not his father, not Colt. Her. His entire body went on immediate alert.
“You didn’t wake me.” It was a complaint, filled with hurt rather than anger.
“Just started a few minutes ago. Can’t sleep?”
Alexandra wore her flannel pajamas, a throw wrapped around her shoulders like a cape. There was enough light emitting from the laptop’s screen to allow him to see the color that blossomed in her cheeks.
It was easy to read her thoughts because, since her arrival, he’d had those same kinds of dreams.
The computer screen flickered before it went to a screensaver, plunging them into shadows except for the rolling colors outside the window.
“Dylan…is something wrong?”
With us. The words were there, if unspoken. He closed his eyes briefly, forcing himself to travel back to California. He made himself remember when it was the last thing he wanted to do. Lauren had always claimed he didn’t open up to her, didn’t communicate enough. And that made him think of the things Alexandra needed to know.
Instantly the fear came and he shot out of the chair, grazing his hand against the mouse in the process. The move was enough that the computer screen filled with the words unlike anything he’d ever written.
He hadn’t been able to type them fast enough, hadn’t been able to translate the images of Jesse and Evangeline and their adventure before his mind went on to another scene, and another. Unable to sleep, unable to think straight, he’d started to write even as he told himself that life was over. He needed to leave well enough alone and stop wishing for the impossible.
Still, he’d sat here and typed, amazed that the words flowed so easily, and knew it was because of her.
He wanted Alexandra. Desired her. But when she left would the words still come? After being blocked for years and unable to write, was Alexandra the one thing—the only thing—to bring him back? To what end?
Dylan leaned over the desk and quickly minimized the screen, wishing he had the nerve to shut down the computer so that the unsaved document would be lost. A conscious gamble he took because he had nothing to lose or gain.
But a part of him was hopeful and that was the saddest, sickest thing of all. He could yearn for a future all he wanted, but he couldn’t change the past or avoid the devastation that would come if he trusted the wrong person or someone discovered his darkest fear.
“You’re busy. I’ll go.”
She turned to leave and he ordered himself to let her. But he couldn’t. He moved closer, shifted so that he could slide his hand up and tangle it in her hair.
Her gaze met his, worry and curiosity and wary acceptance in her eyes, as though she knew there was something big between them besides her time limit.
“We’re making this too complicated,” she whispered, “when it’s very, very simple.”
A lie. It wasn’t simple and he’d bet everything he had that she knew it but was trying to fool herself, the same way he was. Simplicity had gone out the window when they’d agreed to two more weeks. “I don’t want you to be sorry you met me.”
“Why would I be?”
Such a simple question. He opened his mouth, the truth on his lips. “I’ve made so many mistakes.”
“We all have.”
What could he say to make her understand there were mistakes—and then there were mistakes?
Alexandra waited expectantly, her expression curious and also sad. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you need to know who I was. It took the fire to show me what was important because for a while nothing was as important as me. Not my wife, not my son. Nothing.”
Alexandra was silent for long seconds and all Dylan could hear was his heart pulsing through his ears.
“So
you’ve warned me,” she said softly. “I hear what you’re saying but I still think you’re a good man. And you are so worried about making that mistake that you won’t make it again. You’re reminded of it every time you look at Colt, and every time you see your hands. Dylan, you’re a caring father, a patient son. You work hard and you’re aware of your mistakes. It appears to me that the only one who doubts you is you.” She tilted her head to the side. “You said she cheated on you. Did you cheat on her? Break your vows?”
It was important to her. Her tone, her expression. And he was proud to stare into Alexandra’s eyes and say, “No. Not once.”
“Then that’s all I need to know. Dylan, I get that your marriage left you with trust issues. It’s perfectly understandable. But one day soon? You’ll see that I’m not here to hurt you or Colt and you will be thanking God I got on your plane,” she said with a teasing smile.
A rough chuckle caught him by surprise. He framed her face in his scarred hands, her words a lifeline whether she knew it or not.
“I already am.”
Chapter 14
ALEX STARED INTO DYLAN’S FACE amazed at how much things could change in such a short period of time.
He was a good man, a wounded man, and even though it was wrong of her to think she had the faintest power to help or heal anyone, in this sense she believed she could because Dylan could trust her and that was healing in itself.
She had no ulterior motives. No secretive plans. The review was written, her job done, her vacation days, and thus the time she could spend with him, decreasing. What was wrong with holding him, easing the wounds someone else inflicted by sharing compassion and warmth? Genuine caring?
She wanted what Dylan was able to give her—himself. She craved his touch and tenderness. Was humbled by the concern for her she saw in his eyes, because he didn’t want to hurt her. How many moments in a person’s life gave them this much honesty? This wasn’t about sex at all. It was so much more. Emotions she was too scared to label.
Her hands found his chest, slid up to the top button of his shirt. Everyone was asleep, the house quiet.
“Kiss me.”
Her husky order set Dylan in motion. For the first time his mouth brushed hers, lingered.
Did he believe himself so unlovable? She might not have a lot of sexual experience but she had enough to discern what was real and what wasn’t. This was real. Though flawed and tenuous, it was powerful and true.
He kissed her again. Then again.
“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
Alex heard him shut the door on his way out. But where had he gone? Why? The timing was a little questionable.
She wrapped her arms around herself before bending to pluck up the throw she’d dropped during the kissing. Huddled under it for warmth, she moved across the room to a chair.
He was such a good man. Dylan was solid and sexy and oh, so hot. Gruff but tender. Charming and mannerly. The descriptives could go on forever. He needed to smile more but considering all he’d been through, and was still dealing with, she’d have a hard time smiling, too.
But as the room grew colder and she had to hug her knees to her chest for warmth, Alexandra realized something else.
Dylan wasn’t coming back.
* * *
DYLAN KNEW THE MOMENT Alexandra found him sitting beside Colt on the tiny twin bed. After getting a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses and splashing his face with ice-cold water in an attempt to get himself under control before he broke the speed record returning upstairs, he’d heard a noise from within Colt’s room.
Colt was awake, his eyes glazed in fear, and the tears he’d shed silently in his dreams still wet on his cheeks. Colt shivered and shook and struggled as he tried to push Dylan away, but Dylan held tight the way the docs had instructed, not hurting but not letting go, a solid force that wasn’t going to disappear. He was more than willing to fight the demons Colt couldn’t, but he was so tired of being shut out, tired of being treated like a stranger.
“What happened?”
At the sound of her voice Colt stirred, listening, but no longer fighting. He was in the present now, not his dreams.
“He had a nightmare.” Dylan forced himself to meet her gaze, wondering how she truly felt about Colt’s emotional issues. He wouldn’t blame Alexandra for thinking them too much. “He’ll be fine but I’m going to stay with him until he goes back to sleep. Go on to bed.”
Alexandra stared at them for a long moment before she moved into the room. She sat on the edge of the mattress, her fingers stroking Colt’s hair away from his face. Without looking at Dylan, she twisted sideways and lay down, Colt between them.
“Mind if I stay, too?”
Apparently that was her answer to his silent question. “Not at all.” Alexandra’s breast was pressed against his elbow and distracting in the extreme but Dylan couldn’t imagine her anywhere else. Her presence was a comfort to him as much as it seemed to be to Colt. He could feel Colt softening, relaxing, as Alexandra lazily trailed her fingertips gently over his eyebrows and forehead.
They lay like that for several minutes, until Colt stopped shaking and the tears slowed. Dylan loosened his hold, knowing the worst was over.
Alexandra raised herself on her elbow and the movement must have startled Colt because in a blink he rolled toward her and threw himself against her, wrapping his little arms around her neck in a tight grip and burying his head in her neck.
“Oh, sweetie. Shh. I’m not leaving, just getting comfortable. See? Let me scooch down. There. Better, yeah? It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Alexandra ran her hands over Colt’s back, through his hair, kissed his cheek. And while he watched it all happen, Dylan felt the last of his reservations slipping. He could tell her. He would tell her.
“You know, when I was little and I had bad dreams, my mom would come into my room and stay with me until I fell back to sleep, just like your dad,” she whispered to Colt. “My mom would tell me stories about when she was a little girl, or we’d talk about what we were doing that weekend or something.”
Colt’s shoulders lost more of their rigid tension. Even his eyelids were beginning to droop. His son was a heavy sleeper—unless he dreamed. But once he calmed down and fell back to sleep, Colt wouldn’t normally awake again until morning. And in the hours between?
“How about I tell you a story? Would you like that?”
Colt rubbed his eyes and moved his head at the same time. A nod? Like the ones Alexandra had described?
A knot formed in his throat. Dear God in heaven, it was. It had to be.
“When I was your age, I lived in a place called Beauty, Tennessee…” Alexandra talked about her home, her horse Bandit, and Thanksgivings and Christmases past and how her entire family gathered together at her parents’ mountaintop residence for every holiday. She talked about their traditions like all-day cookie baking and gift wrapping slumber parties.
With every word Alexandra spoke, Colt settled deeper into the bed. Dylan did, too. He liked hearing about the things that were important to her, liked seeing her petting Colt and snuggling him close. Liked that she began to alternately sing and laugh her way through a lullaby completely and totally off-key from the first note to the last and didn’t care.
It was an hour before they left Colt’s room. Dylan walked the few steps to Alexandra’s bedroom door and smiled at the way she couldn’t hold back a yawn. “You’re exhausted.”
“Does he have a lot of nightmares?”
Dylan buried his nose in her hair and inhaled, touched by her concern when she practically wove on her feet with fatigue. “Not as many now.”
“I’m glad. His little face broke my heart.”
Dylan thought of the moment when it appeared Colt nodded at her and lifted his hand to stroke her hair away from her face. He ran his thumb along the seam of her lips, pausing over the dip in her upper lip. “Pack an overnight bag for your tour tomorrow. If you don’t mind spending th
e night away with me.”
Her eyes widened a tad in surprise then sparkled in blatant anticipation. “I’d, um, like that.”
Chapter 15
THAT EVENING WHILE DYLAN WENT to check on the plane, Alexandra dug out her computer, called the desk of the Hot Springs Hotel for Internet service and sent an e-mail to her boss with the review and photos attached. That done, she checked her account and took care of the few things that needed attending to.
Dylan had booked adjoining rooms for their stay, and she was grateful for the consideration. She was falling hard and fast for him but she wasn’t completely sure she wanted to take that next step. Nor did she believe Dylan was sure under the circumstances.
She shook off her thoughts and pulled out her phone. She was so used to not having service that when she turned it on and saw those little bars, she couldn’t help but smile. Civilization, gotta love it.
She had numerous missed calls and voice mails waiting for her, along with quite a few texts. Most were from David, all of them harping on the fact she hadn’t checked in with him to say she’s okay, and to tell her he needed her review ASAP because there had been a problem with one supposed to go in the December issue.
She’d warned him she’d be out of touch but David was as bad as her family. Being her boss only made his concern worse but he had the extra excuse. How could she check in with no signal?
Not in the mood to talk to him, she pulled up one of his texts and typed.
Everything’s fine. Enjoying AK. Review sent. Stop worrying.
She sent that and went on to the next message from Luke.
Call home. Mom’s freaking out because you’ve been unavailable so long. PS— Shelby’s acting strange again. Yes, I know you two are still at odds after the fight but do me a favor, get over it and call. She says nothing is wrong but she’ll tell you the truth.
Luke’s message sounded worrisome. What was up with Shelby? Alexandra clicked on the next text. Bingo. It was from Shelby.
