*****
Gem came in a few moments later, the .44 tucked in her waistband, her Uzi in its usual position over her shoulder, held there by the new brightly colored and beaded strap she and Trina had worked on.
She put down her gun, took out the .44 and put it on one of the stainless tables, then she came to me and put her arms around my neck. She pressed her cheek to mine and we didn’t say a word.
I realized I was shaking. The moment had come, and there was no backing out. I’d put if off for weeks, and some good had come out of that decision; all we’d learned, watching her progression and recording it so that we wouldn’t forget.
I’d never watch the recordings again, but Hemp would find cause to, most likely. Good. The record of Jamie’s last days should be of some use to humankind. The old Jamie would have wanted to do good. Only good. It was who she was.
I thought of being there with her in the room when Trina was born; she knew I had no kids and wasn’t likely to, so she asked if I’d like to watch my niece come into the world. I’d never been present during a birth, and it was the miracle of life – and one I was grateful to see.
For that reason, Trina was special to me. I saw her just as the light of this bright world touched her for the first time, and at that moment, she touched my heart forever. I’d never known I had enough love inside my heart for this child too, as I’d already been surprised once with Jesse.
And now, as Gem pulled away and looked into my watering eyes, I knew the time had come and I needed to say my goodbyes.
I took Gem by the hand and we walked to the back room and opened the door. Hemp had re-secured Jamie’s head, so she could not turn it. There were no lights on in this room, as the generator would continuously run out of fuel if we kept too many things running, so I took two candles from the nearby counter and lit them with a fireplace lighter kept with them for that purpose.
We went inside and placed one on each side of the table upon which my sister was strapped. The light flickered back and forth, its dimness mercifully concealing much of the deterioration of my sister’s face and skin.
I moved beside her and without hesitation, rested my hand on her bare arm. She was cold; her skin rough and dry beneath my touch. But I slid my thumb over it just the same, and stroked her as tenderly as I could manage.
“Jamie . . .” I began. “It’s me, Flex. Your brother. I’m the one who used to chase you with lizards when we were kids, who protected you when you felt threatened, and who loved you more than I believe I ever told you. I’m the one who you made so happy when you married Jack. I could see the love in his eyes and in your eyes, and I longed for that. And when you had Jesse, I fell in love with her. She was beautiful like you, and Jamie, she’s at peace. You’ll be with her real soon.”
My eyes welled up and I had to stop. Gem took my other hand and held tight to me. I was shaking, and my watering eyes had become rivers. I was starting to sob, but I bit my lip and continued, as best I could.
“And your little Trina is just inside the house over there, my house. And Gem is back now, and I think we’ve got what you and Jack had, Jamie. We’ve got that kind of love, and we’re taking good care of Trina. We plan to raise her just as you would’ve done.”
“Except we’re letting her say fuck,” Gem said, smiling.
“Yes, except we’re letting her say fuck,” I repeated, and my laugh broke my sadness. “But she’s a smart little one, Jamie. Like her mama. Smart. And beautiful, too. So I want you to go to sleep tonight, Jamie, and I want you to take Jesse’s hand and be her mama again. She knows so well that you never meant to harm her.”
Gem leaned forward and released my hand. “Jamie,” she said. “I always loved you. I wanted to be a mommy like you someday . . . I just didn’t realize I’d be called to be a mommy to your Trina. But Jamie, I promise you with everything in me, I’ll always talk about you as an angel in heaven, and I’ll let her know you’re looking down on her, watching after her, and making sure she’s safe. I promise you that, Jamie. And for that, I only want you to promise me one thing.”
And Gem’s tears began to flow in a torrent. I didn’t think she’d be able to say the one more thing. But she closed her eyes and put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder.
“You take good care of my little rabbit, okay? Take good care of her, please? And remind her how much your brother and I love her.”
And with that, we both stood back. I went to the counter and picked up the gun. Gem took a thick sheet from the shelf against the wall and opened it into a quarter square, and laid it over Jamie’s face, already dim in the candle light.
I placed the gun against her head, made sure I would hit her brain, and without hesitation, I fired once.
Then I fired again.
The echo of the .44 would stay with me forever.
The thing that had consumed my baby sister was dead.
And my Jamie was at peace.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Dead Hunger: The Flex Sheridan Chronicle Page 53
