The Good Girl's Guide to Being Bad

by O'Gorman, Cookie

  Betty’s eyes took on a far-off look, and Cora shook her head at me as if to say, “Hey, you asked for it.”

  Oh my God, I’d created a monster.

  Five hours later, I was the one who felt like the monster. I knew he’d be mad. Colton wouldn’t have gotten caught—Mrs. Wiggins wouldn’t have walked out of her Econ class to find him and Billy duking it out and dashed off to get the principal—if it wasn’t for me pulling that alarm.

  But I didn’t expect him to just skip practice.

  Our days were numbered. The deadline for Dancer’s Edge was coming, and he had to know there wasn’t much Kyle and I could do without him.

  Okay, so we actually did get a lot done. I’d focused purely on Kyle’s part, perfecting what he’d already learned, moving on as much as possible without the entire trio, and Kyle did awesome. But it would’ve gone better if Colton had been there.

  And okay yes, I desperately wanted to apologize.

  I felt all kinds of guilty. Although Billy instigated the fight, it was my fault the two got in trouble. The need to speak to Colton, tell him I was sorry, was eating me up inside.

  Which was why, after practice, I followed Kyle to their house.

  “I’m not sure about this,” Kyle said, locking his car as we walked up the driveway.

  I rolled my eyes. “Like I said, I’ll just apologize to Colton and leave.”

  “When I got home and knocked on his door, he wouldn’t even speak to me.”

  That wasn’t a good sign.

  “I’m just trying to prepare you, Sadie. My brother isn’t good company when he’s in a mood. Case in point: He chucked a Nike at my head once in the eighth grade when I tried to come into his room uninvited.”

  Rolling my shoulders back, I followed him into the house, ready for anything Colton might throw at me (hopefully not a shoe). Kyle wished me luck then headed back out again to meet up with Zayne (they had a lot to discuss after today) while I made my way up to Colton’s bedroom, a place I’d never been. I used to come here back when the boys shared a room, but since they’d grown up and out of their bunk beds, I usually spent all my time in Kyle’s. So yeah, this would be a new experience. Taking one last deep breath, I knocked on Colton’s door.

  “Go ‘way.”

  The voice was muffled, but it definitely belonged to Colton.

  “Hey,” I said. “It’s me, Sadie.”

  “I said, go away,” he said louder this time.

  “Listen, I know you’re mad,” I said to the closed door, feeling like a complete idiot, “and you have every right to be. But…that’s no reason to skip practice. I mean, it was kind of a jerk move, don’t you think? I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry, and I really wanted to do that to your face. So, could you please open the door?”

  I waited a beat.

  “Colton?”

  Still no answer, no sounds of movement.

  “Well, I am sorry,” I mumbled. “Jerk.”

  I was about to leave when the door opened, and Colton stood there, leaning one shoulder against the door with his arms crossed.

  “Did you just apologize and call me a jerk in the same breath?” he said. “Nice, Sadie. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

  The first thing I noticed was he was wearing a sweater with pajama pants —which was strange since it was rather warm in the house. The second thing was that his nose was red. It was awful because neither of those things, not the dorky mismatched pajamas or the redness, made Colton look any less attractive. Argh.

  “What are you apologizing for anyway?” he said.

  “I got you in trouble,” I said. “With the fire alarm.”

  Colton shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

  “But then why didn’t you come to the studio?” I asked. “I thought you were mad since I got you sent home.”

  “Billy’s big mouth was the reason I got sent home,” he said, “and I’m not mad at you.”

  “Is that why you’re always getting into fights? To defend Kyle?”

  And me, I thought but didn’t say.

  Colton shrugged. “Someone had to shut him and his stupid friends up. By the way, did you know pulling the fire alarm when there’s no fire is a federal offense?” Eyes widening, I gaped, and he laughed, though it sounded more raspy than usual. “Thought so, Little Miss Perfect. I guess you really are becoming a bad girl, huh?”

  His eyes were bright, and I was about to tell him off for teasing me—I mean, it’s not like he had anything to worry about. He wasn’t the one who’d committed a federal-freaking-offense!—but Colton abruptly started coughing. And it wasn’t just any cough. You know the cough you get when your throat is tight and swollen? The one that hurts? Yeah, it sounded like that, and I finally got why his nose was so red.

  “You’re sick?” I asked. “Is that why you weren’t at practice?”

  “Ding, ding, ding,” he said, voice thick with sarcasm even as he swayed unsteadily. “Thank you, Captain Obvious, for your keen observational skills. Now Sadie, please leave me alone.”

  As his body was wracked by another bout of coughing, I did the exact opposite. Getting underneath his arm, I led him carefully over to his bed.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Helping you,” I said.

  “Why?”

  “Because as Betty would say, you look like death warmed over.” As he grumbled, collapsing onto his navy blue sheets, I frowned and put my hands on my hips. “Actually, this reminds me of when I had the flu last year. Where’s your mom? Did she see you like this?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And she didn’t stay home?”

  He mumbled, and though half his face was turned into the pillow, I got the gist. “Hospital. Said she had to go because two other nurses called in sick.”

  I sighed. Mrs. Bishop was a nurse, an awesome one, too. But here was her son, and if I was any judge, he had one heck of a fever. And she’d just left him here to fend for himself?

  Shaking my head, I placed my hand against his forehead.

  “Ah, trying to cop a feel when I’m sick,” he said, eyes closing. “Cheap move. Not that I blame you.”

  “You wish,” I said. “I’m seeing if you have a fever—and yep, you are burning up, buddy. We should try to lower your temp. You should take off that sweater.”

  Colton groaned as I helped him sit up.

  “How long has this been going on anyway?”

  “Well, you see,” he said, fumbling with the buttons, “there’s this girl who made me stand in the rain for something called a ‘rain kiss.’”

  “No,” I said.

  “Yes.” Colton finally got the last button undone, and as his sweater fell open, I realized my mistake. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Oh Lord. All that stared back at me was a gloriously toned chest attached to a firm stomach. I felt myself blushing but couldn’t look away. “Basically Sadie, you’re responsible for all of this.”

  “Oh my God,” I said, reaching out to stop him.

  But not quick enough.

  His wrists were hot beneath my hands, his sweater off his shoulders, still covering his forearms, but he was naked from the waist up for all intents and purposes. Feeling guilty and a bit fevered myself, I had no idea how to handle this. Colton Bishop was sick, and I was to blame. No one else was here. I had to stay and take care of him—didn’t I? Make sure he was okay and…was I seriously ogling his abs when he was ill? Maybe he wouldn’t notice.

  “With the way you’re staring,” Colton said, “at least I know I’m still hot even in this state.”

  And maybe he would.

  I spun on my heel and headed for the door.

  “You finally going?” he asked.

  “Just downstairs to get medicine.”

  “Mom had me take some already.”

  “Okay, then I’ll bring up water, a cold compress, Ginger Ale and Saltines if you have them,” I murmured. “Be right back.”

  “Just go,” Colton groaned, but by
then I was determined. I would stay until he went to sleep. It was the right thing to do. He needed me, and I was going to stay, no matter how much he grumbled about it.

  Colton groaned.

  Again.

  It was like the third time in the last five minutes. Sensing he needed a little attention, I turned my head without removing my eyes from the TV. We were both on his bed—and I was trying my best to forget that fact. Me on top of the blankets, sitting up, him under the sheets on his back (which meant his naked chest was covered, thank goodness). We were about ten minutes into the first episode, and it was starting to get good.

  “You need something, Colton?” I asked.

  “What the hell are you making me watch?” he demanded.

  “It’s a period drama. One of my favorites.”

  “A period what-a?”

  “It’s a period drama, BBC’s Pride and Prejudice,” I sighed, pushing pause then looking at him. “It’s a mini-series. What’s your problem anyway? I thought you said you were going to ignore me and get some sleep.”

  “I was trying,” he said. “But then all those people started talking in this weird way, keeping me up.”

  “I can turn the volume down if you want.” He frowned, and I shrugged. “Or we can watch it together.”

  “Just leave already,” he said—then coughed in that pained way which made my throat hurt in sympathy. “Won’t your mom be worried?”

  “I already texted her.”

  “‘Course you did,” Colton said. “Go home, Sadie.”

  I shook my head. “Sorry, no can do. I need to take your temperature again in thirty minutes.”

  Colton’s scowl couldn’t have been deeper. He was running a 101-degree fever, and his arms were crossed in the petulant pose kids do when they can’t have their way. His forehead was covered by the cool, wet cloth I’d just applied, warning him not to take it off or else. With that, the red nose and messy hair, he looked absolutely adorable.

  I wanted to smack myself. Oh geez, I thought, giving myself a mental slap that did absolutely no good. If I could still be attracted to him, even grumpy, disgruntled and sick? It was too late. My feelings were too deep. There was no turning back now. I was a goner.

  “Pride and Prejudice,” he said. “Is this the one with the almost kiss?”

  “No, this is a different version.” Clearing my throat, I said, “It’s great. You should give it a chance.”

  “It looks dumb,” he said.

  “Well, it’s not. It’s a love story about a rich guy and a poor girl and how their opposite personalities and social statuses should keep them apart, but only end up pushing them together, making them perfect for each other. It’s really soothing, and I thought it might help you relax. Plus, it’s romance,” I said, gesturing around his room. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed your books. There’ve got to be at least what? 20 romances? And some of them are very naughty.”

  Colton’s mouth tipped up in a grin. “And how would you know that?”

  “Well,” I sputtered. He had me there. “I read a few to the Shady Grove residents, and others I picked up because they looked good.”

  Tempting, I thought, was a better word.

  Kind of like the guy beside me when he chuckled that raspy laugh.

  “No need to be ashamed, Sadie,” he said, patting my thigh, nearly making my heart leap out of my chest. “So, you’re saying this period drama is a little naughty? If so, I’m in.”

  “Umm…”

  Nodding to the screen, propping himself up, he said, “Go ahead, push play. I’ll try to stay awake.”

  I re-started the episode, deciding not to tell him there was absolutely zero naughtiness, and the main characters didn’t even kiss until the end.

  Colton made it through the first two episodes, but his eyes were drifting closed by the third. I couldn’t blame him. Despite the appeal of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth’s many misunderstandings and hidden attraction, he was truly not feeling well, the guy’s body fighting off what was either a nasty cold or something worse.

  Mom had texted to check up on me a moment ago.

  Mom: Hey, everything okay?

  Me: Yes, Colton’s sick, and his mom’s at work, so I was helping him.

  Mom: Oh no, poor kid :(. Anything I can do?

  Me: Nah, I’ll be home in a bit.

  Mom: Okay, if you or Colton need anything, let me know. Love you, Sadie.

  Me: Love you, Mom.

  I looked down at Colton, whose breathing had finally evened out. The last time I checked his fever was down to 99.8, and he’d just taken his medicine again 10 minutes ago. The movie had done its job. He was resting peacefully.

  It was my cue to leave.

  Trying not to disturb him, I turned off the TV, slowly rose from the bed. I was just about to go when I felt a hand on my wrist. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Colton’s eyes were still closed.

  “Stay,” he said quietly.

  His grip was light. I could break free so easily, and he’d probably go right back to sleep. In fact, I wasn’t even sure he was awake now. The word had been little more than a whisper, and with the fever, he might not have realized what he was saying.

  But I wasn’t strong enough to go.

  Instead, I said, “Okay,” sent Mom a quick text to let her know I was staying and got back into bed. I turned away from him, scooting all the way to the edge, but couldn’t seem to stay quiet.

  “So…what’d you think of the movie?” I asked, wondering if he’d respond or if he really was asleep.

  “I don’t trust that Wickham guy,” he mumbled.

  I smiled. So, he was awake, and he’d been paying attention.

  “And Darcy’s kind of a douche.”

  “Nah,” I said, “it’s only a front. Mr. Darcy’s a complex guy, one of the most beloved heroes of all time.”

  Colton grunted.

  Looking around his room, unable to hold my tongue, I said, “Can I ask you something real?”

  Another grunt.

  “Do you know what you want to do after graduation?”

  He answered immediately. “Cars,” he said.

  “I know you love cars,” I said, noticing the posters of foreign cars on his wall—the only pictures on display besides a few of him and his brother—and what looked like an engine part on a towel sitting on his desk with a bunch of tools, “but what do you want to do? Go to college and study cars? Engineering?”

  “Garage. Own one someday,” he mumbled.

  Of course, Colton had it all figured out. Sometimes I felt like the only person who didn’t.

  “Can I tell you a secret?” I said quietly, and when he didn’t grunt or respond, I hoped maybe he’d fallen asleep. I’d never confessed this to anyone. But it’d been clawing at me to get out, so with a deep breath, I admitted the ugly truth. “I have no idea what I want to do. After school, I mean.”

  Again, Colton remained silent, and with my back to him, it was easy to keep talking.

  “Part of me wants to go to college. But I have no idea what I’d study,” I went on. “I’m interested in so many things, have so many ideas. Part of me thinks if I go to college maybe I’ll figure it out. But another part…is terrified that I won’t. What if I never know what I want to do with my life? What if I never find the one thing that I’m really meant to do?”

  There I’d said it. Confessed my worst fear to what was once my worst enemy, now the guy I was secretly falling for. But he was out like a light, so there was nothing to fear.

  “Dance,” Colton said out of the blue, making me nearly jump out of my skin.

  “You’re awake?” I gasped. “I thought you were asleep.”

  “Dance,” he repeated. “You love it. That’s what you should do.”

  Shaking my head, I said, “I do love dance and choreographing. It’s always been my dream. But seriously, Colton, I’ve been rejected seven times already. Maybe it’s a sign that I should stop dreaming and try something else.” I swallowed a lum
p in my throat. “Maybe I’m not good enough.”

  Colton sighed and somehow ended up right behind me. One of his arms curled around my waist, his hand on my stomach and his legs pressed right up against the backs of mine. I was so surprised I stopped breathing for a moment.

  “It means you’re trying,” he said. “God Sadie, do you know how brave you are? You get rejected but keep putting yourself out there. It takes guts to do that.”

  “Or stupidity,” I muttered, having regained my ability to speak.

  “You are good enough,” Colton said. “Their opinion doesn’t matter, only yours does. Do what you love. Smart or stupid, that’s always the right choice.”

  If I hadn’t been lying down, that bit of wisdom would’ve knocked me flat. I couldn’t respond no matter how hard I tried. Minutes passed and still, I had nothing. We lay there, Colton at my back with his arm over my stomach, his breaths deepening once again. My mind kept replaying his words, my heart leaning more toward him with every breath.

  Colton buried his head in my hair with a sigh.

  “Beautiful,” he mumbled.

  Must be the fever, I thought, half-hoping he’d say it again, half-dreading it because it fed my delusions. No matter how much I wanted him, no matter how much I willed it to be true, Colton would never be mine. Despite what he said, I wasn’t brave. I was a coward through and through.

  And his was the one rejection I couldn’t risk.

  Colton was sick for three more days.

  Turned out he actually did have the flu. His mom kept him on quarantine, no school, no visitors (except Kyle, of course), no strenuous activity until the fever was gone. The twins thought she was taking extra-good care of him to make up for being away that first night. Kyle called it “babying” and told me Colton was “dying to escape.”

  This meant I hadn’t seen or spoken to Colton in a while. I used the time to take stock.

  My feelings were all over the place.

  The one thing I knew for sure: I was totally falling for Colton Bishop.

  Had fallen.

  Fell hard.

  As much as I tried to remember my old feelings of dislike and disgust, they just wouldn’t come. I didn’t see him the same as I used to. He wasn’t my arch nemesis anymore. Colton Bishop was now the guy I couldn’t get out of my mind, the one I imagined kissing a hundred different ways (in addition to the ones we’d already tried), the one I wanted to talk to about a million different things.