by Cheryl Holt
“That’s probably the truest comment you’ve ever spoken in my presence.”
“I just feel . . . bad. About everything.”
“Here’s the problem I’m having with that statement, Eric. I doubt you feel bad at all. You’re aggravated that you were caught and it’s caused a huge uproar.”
“You didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you.”
“You are absolutely correct about that.”
“So . . . what now?” he asked. He peered at her as if she could wave a magic wand and fix what was wrong.
“Now . . . nothing. Go away. Go to LA or New York or Rome. It doesn’t matter to me.”
He pulled the diamond bracelet out of his pocket. “What should I do with this? It’s personalized, so I can’t request a refund.”
“I guess you should find a new girlfriend with the letter J as her initial and give it to her.”
He held it out as if she should take it, and when she didn’t, he smirked with exasperation and stuck it back in his pocket.
“My dad is so pissed,” he said.
“Should that surprise me? Generate sympathy? Am I to commiserate? What?”
“I hate that everyone’s so angry.”
“It’s with valid reason, Eric!”
He bristled. “I wish I was a different kind of man.”
“No, you don’t. You view yourself as king of the world, and you had decided to lower yourself by marrying me. You always believed that, so don’t rewrite our history.”
“I didn’t think that,” he testily insisted. “I didn’t think you were . . . less than me.”
“Liar.”
They could have descended into a full-blown quarrel, but she refused to participate in one. She kept glancing over his shoulder, terrified her dad or brother might storm down the hall and assault him. They were both so protective of her. They might even tag-team him. They’d enjoy it too.
He’d been determined to hash it out, but so far, the conversation had been pointless. After significant debate with her sisters, she’d convinced herself he was mentally unbalanced. He didn’t seem to be suffering any regrets.
“What brought you to my door?” she said. “Why talk to me?”
“My dad thought I should. Josh too.” He realized the remark was pathetic, and he hurried to add, “But I agreed with them.”
“What is it you’d like to tell me? Get it off your chest, then leave me alone.”
He inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. “I was a prick to you. The entire time, I was a prick. I most humbly apologize—to you and your family.”
She should have been more gracious, but she couldn’t locate the spark inside her to be civil. “I’m certain you’re not sincere, but hey, I appreciate the attempt.”
She circled around him and headed to her room, and he called, “That’s it? We’re done?”
“Yes, Eric, we’re done.” She glared back at him. “What else is there to discuss?”
“We haven’t resolved a single issue.”
“What, exactly, would we have resolved? You were having sex with your stepmother! A couple of hours before our wedding! It’s bizarre on so many levels that I can’t tabulate them all.”
“I don’t even like her,” he said like an idiot.
“I don’t like her either. She’s a first-class bitch who’s constantly been horrid to me, and why you’d involve yourself with her is a complete mystery.”
“My dad is demanding I reimburse him for the wedding costs.”
He chuckled as if it was funny. Or maybe he was hinting that she should pitch in to help pay the bills, but she’d never give him a penny.
“I’m delighted to hear you have to reimburse him,” she said. “I hope it’s such a staggering amount of money that you become a pauper.”
She stomped off, and it dawned on her that it was the very last comment she’d ever utter to him, and it was so unsatisfying.
She arrived at her door, and in her haste to meet with him, she’d forgotten to bring a keycard. She pounded loudly, and Rachel let her in.
“What did the asshole have to say for himself?” her sister asked.
“He’s really, really sorry,” Jennifer sarcastically said.
“He’s just sorry he got caught.”
Jennifer laughed in a caustic way. “That’s precisely what I told him.”
Jennifer vanished into her suite, and briefly, he considered chasing after her, but why would he? She was livid, so there could be no reasoning with her. Besides, if he knocked, her shrew-sister, Rachel, would be there, and he’d rather poke his eyes out with a sharp stick than speak to her ever again.
He might bump into her dad too, and he’d definitely like to avoid that experience. The grilling he’d received from his own father had been bad enough. He couldn’t bear to be accosted by her father too.
He was still hungover, his head throbbing, his stomach roiling. He’d simply like to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away, but that wasn’t in the cards. He pictured himself as a likeable guy, but suddenly, everybody hated him, and enemies lurked in every direction.
He felt as if he owed explanations to each person he encountered, but even in his fugue state, he recognized there could be no explaining his conduct. He couldn’t stand Crystal, so why had he proceeded?
He’d jeopardized everything—even marriage to a very nice, very sweet girl—merely to hook-up with her one more time. Why had he?
He prayed he could sneak out of the Inn without stumbling on the deranged witch. She was such a lunatic that she’d actually suggested she leave his dad for Eric. It was an insane idea that proved she was crazy and always had been, but occasionally, the choices he made were so outrageous that he wondered if he wasn’t crazy too.
His twisted connection to her had tossed a huge wrench into the middle of his relationship with his father, and Dennis wasn’t a merciful man. Eric struggled to calculate how long he’d be in the doghouse, but he couldn’t count a number that high.
He sighed, wishing he’d been more eloquent with Jennifer. He hadn’t told her what he’d truly intended to impart. He’d behaved like such a shit, but in his own defense, it had recently occurred to him that—deep down—he hadn’t wanted to be a husband. Crystal had been a symptom of his inability to face that realization.
He started for his room, but he peeked around every corner, determined not to be confronted by anyone who would shout at him or call him names. He was anxious to flee the Inn without being attacked, but he wasn’t sure where to go.
He’d slither into a limo, hide behind the tinted windows, and ponder a destination on the drive to Aspen. Once he pulled in at the airport, he was positive he’d have one in mind.
He reached his door, and as he would have inserted his keycard, it opened from the inside, and Alex was standing there, Josh too, so they must have been gossiping about him.
If he hadn’t been quite so hungover, he’d have been incensed. As it was, he was just eager to grab his stuff and hit the road. They could rant about him after he left.
“Did you apologize to her?” Alex said.
“Yes.”
“Did it do any good?”
“No. She’s pretty pissed.”
“Are you even sorry?”
“I guess.”
He was weary of the drama he’d stirred, weary of people being so angry. Why offer a comment when no one would listen? Any justifications were futile.
“You guess?” his brother sneered. “You don’t know?”
“This has been a royally shitty day, Alex. Could you please not bark at me?”
“What’s happened to you anymore? Do you ever think about anybody but yourself?”
“Not very often,” he cockily said.
It was depressing that he’d become such a villain. He
couldn’t figure out how to deal with the disdain that was being leveled. He yearned to shuck off the cloak of shame that was draped over his shoulders, but it was too heavy.
“I don’t suppose Dad will ever forgive you,” Alex said.
Eric shrugged. “He’s always been a prick to me, so I’m not certain that’s much of a loss.”
“Eric . . .” Alex murmured, his tone scolding. “You don’t mean that.”
“Could we not debate this? I’m wrung dry, and I just want to split.”
“You’re leaving now?” Alex appeared surprised, as if there might be a reason to linger.
“Yes, I’m leaving now.” Eric peered at Josh and said, “Would you like to come with me? We could head somewhere fun.”
“I can’t,” Josh replied. “I have to be in Dallas on Tuesday for a checkup on my arm.”
“You could join me afterward.”
“I can’t.”
Josh flashed such a pitying look that Eric finally felt genuinely mortified. He was a pompous jerk; he admitted it. His entire life, he’d been spoiled and fawned over, so he acted as if he was omnipotent. Apparently, even Josh had had enough.
“Have you spoken to Mom?” he asked Alex, hoping it was a safer topic. “What’s her opinion about all of this?”
“She’s delighted. She never thought you should have proposed to Jennifer in the first place, and you saved Jennifer a lot of heartache.”
Eric snorted. “She’s probably right.”
His bag was on the floor behind the sofa. He went over, picked it up, and started out.
Alex glared, seeming astonished by Eric’s departure. “Is that it?” his brother said. “You’re just going?”
“Why would I stay, Alex? People are screaming at me. Why would I hang out and allow them to turn up the volume?”
“You could make amends. You could show a little remorse.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I’m not very good at remorse.”
It was an awful retort, but Eric wasn’t inclined to extend an olive branch. Alex had been the dutiful son, the happy son, the perfect son, and what had Eric been?
The waste. The lazy oaf. The conceited snob.
In his view, he was simply living down to everyone’s low expectations.
He walked out and marched down the hall. He didn’t say goodbye to either of them. They had his phone number, and they could contact him if they ever decided to stop being assholes.
From the doorway of the suite, Alex called, “Where will you be?”
“I guess I’ll fly to New York first, and after that? I can’t imagine. I’ll let you know when I arrive at a spot worth mentioning.”
He kept on without glancing back.
“Am I on some sort of enemy’s list? Will you bite my head off if I try to chat?”
“Of course we can chat. Don’t be silly.”
Amy was standing on the rear patio, where the wedding banquet would have been held. Josh strolled over to where she was leaned on the railing.
The Inn’s staff must have just begun to set the tables when they’d received word that it was cancelled. A few tablecloths had been laid out, the ends flapping in the afternoon breeze. Carts were stacked along the edge, laden down with crystal, dishes, and silverware that wouldn’t be necessary.
She waved to the carts of unused supplies. “A wedding should be such a joyous event, so this patio is the saddest place I’ve ever seen.”
“It definitely gives off an aura of dreams being dashed, doesn’t it?”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“How are things up in your suite?” he asked.
“They’re actually very calm.”
“Jennifer isn’t too distressed?”
“She’s stunned. As the minutes tick by, she’s realizing that she may have skirted catastrophe.”
“She probably did.”
“How are things in your suite? I’m betting they’ve been more exciting than in mine.”
“It’s very quiet. Eric and Crystal have both fled.”
She gasped; she couldn’t help it. “They fled . . . together?”
“No, no, separately. Crystal went to LA with Lindsey, and Eric went to New York.”
“I understand that Eric has been your best bud since childhood,” she said, “but I just really don’t like him.”
Josh shrugged. “Lots of times, I don’t like him much myself.”
“Were you aware of his fooling around with Crystal?”
“Not until yesterday. I caught her hitting on him, and I chased her away.”
“What about today? You weren’t there to make him behave, so he couldn’t resist?” Her tone was snarky and accusatory, and she winced. “I’m sorry. It sounds as if I’m blaming you for this mess, but I’m not.”
“It’s all right. Emotions are running high, and I’ll survive some bad attitude.”
He snuggled her to his side. She liked how big and solid he was, liked how he smelled, liked how firmly his heart thudded under his ribs. She inhaled deeply and snuggled a little nearer, anxious to imprint a memory of how yummy he was.
“I would have visited your room,” he said, “but I wasn’t sure I dared.”
“It was better that you didn’t. We were having some serious family discussions. My dad was eager to beat Eric to a pulp. It took forever to convince him not to.”
“Your dad seems so laidback to me. I can’t imagine him losing his temper.”
“He’s a carpenter, so he’s incredibly strong. I couldn’t let him punch Eric. He would definitely have inflicted some damage.”
Josh chuckled. “What’s happening with you guys? Are you leaving immediately or what’s the plan?”
“We’re going tomorrow, but then, that was always our schedule. The only difference was that we thought Jennifer would be on her honeymoon. Now she’ll fly to Oregon with us. She wants to spend some time at home.”
“Will she return to LA?”
“I don’t know. She’s resilient, and she’s settled in there—with her photography business. She’d just like an interval to regroup. My dad and Rachel can spoil her for a few weeks. Kyle too. He’s not due at college until the end of August.”
“It’s nice that you’re all so close.”
“We’ve been lucky,” she said. “With the stuff that occurred in the past, we likely should have been torn apart, but our tragedies have bonded us.”
“By Monday, you could be back at your commune. After loafing in this beautiful hotel, won’t it be odd?”
“Yes, and it will take some adjustment, but guess what?”
“What?”
“I’ve pretty much decided to move to Portland and live with my dad.”
“Good for you! I’m so glad to hear it.”
“I’ve been so impatient lately,” she said, “and my trip to Cross Creek has focused my need to get on with my life.”
“You have huge changes in store. Is that scary?”
“Very scary, but my dad’s house is a safe haven where I can rest and contemplate the future.”
“I’m jealous that you have that option.”
“If your shoulder doesn’t improve,” she said, “you’ll have some huge changes approaching too.”
“No doubt.” He stared at her, then admitted, “My shoulder won’t heal up.”
“I didn’t suppose it would. I received that vibe the night I touched it.”
“It’s what all the specialist’s have told me, but I can’t bear for it to be true. This hiatus here in the mountains has given me an opportunity to think. I have to face reality.”
She snorted. “I’ve found reality to be highly over-rated.”
He snorted too. “You would. You’re a girl who’s lived in a commune for a decade in order to avoid dealing with it.”
“What will you do if you retire?”
“I have no idea. Baseball has been my life, so I haven’t peered down the road beyond it. If there suddenly isn’t anymore baseball, I might become invisible.”
“Would you stay in Texas?”
“Gad, no.”
“Then are you headed to California?”
“I haven’t thought about it at all. I’m just starting to look out at a very bleak future.”
“It won’t be bleak.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. “Are your parents still in California? Could you go home and be with them for awhile?”
“No. They’ve been divorced since I was a kid, and they’re both remarried. I’m not particularly close to them or their spouses.”
“Siblings?”
“No,” he said again. “I was a very spoiled only child.”
“I’m sorry for you then.”
“You shouldn’t be.”
“I will be anyway.”
They were quiet, gaping at the bare tables, the stacked dishes and glassware, and he sighed. “This was such an effed-up day.”
“You are a master of understatement.”
“I feel like I’ve been pummeled with clubs, and none of this even happened to me. I simply stood on the sidelines and watched it unravel.”
“I feel pummeled too,” she said. “I’m just relieved Jennifer isn’t too devastated.”
“What are you doing the rest of the afternoon? My schedule has turned out to be completely empty. How about yours?”
“My schedule is empty too.”
“I have a massive suite all to myself. There’s even a jacuzzi.”
“Are you inviting me to your room again?”
He scowled. “I think I am.”
“But with wicked purpose this time?” she facetiously asked.
“Maybe.”
He grinned the most delicious grin, and it had to be one he’d flashed at hundreds—perhaps thousands—of women over the years. He was a professional athlete who was too handsome for words, so she was sure it worked to get him what he sought from a female.
What did he want from her? What did she want from him?
They were leaving the next morning, and they’d never see each other again. In a weird way, her meeting him had spurred her to fix herself. She’d been punishing herself for a whole decade and had felt too guilty to enjoy even the smallest pleasures, but she was ready to forgive herself, to have a new beginning.
