by Sarah Tork
When I reached my room, my face was wet with tears. I slammed the door shut with all my might, hoping I’d break it. I paced frantically, holding my arms together to stop them from shaking.
I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT SCALE AND THROWN IT OUT THE WINDOW!
Smashed it to pieces!
A new window would have hurt their pockets, for sure!
I shook my head and laughed deliriously at the thought.
Then I’d be sent to the loony bin. They’d like that, me under 24/7 surveillance, controlled and out of their hair.
I stopped pacing my room, suddenly feeling like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
I had to get out this house.
Now!
I quickly changed out of my pajamas and put on a pair of skinny jeans with a long black t-shirt that was a little tight. I grabbed a navy blue sweater-jacket off the ground and shoved it into my backpack along with my phone, keys, and wallet. I shouldered my backpack and headed to the bathroom where I applied deodorant and ran a comb through my hair, putting it up in a high ponytail. I washed the tearstains from my face, hoping I didn’t look too distraught. I glanced up at the mirror, Good!
I approved of my reflection then stormed down the stairs, making as much noise as possible.
“Where do you think you are going?” Mom’s hoarse voice yelled from the living room. “We’re not finished here.”
I grabbed a pair of black slip-on converse sneakers. “Going out now, bye,” I called.
They all stared, dumbfounded, from the living room.
I opened the front door, shoes in hand, and fled, closing the door before they had a chance to demand something else or accuse me of being rude.
Yeah, I’ll be back later…much later…maybe never!
I sat down on the curb to put my shoes on. I’d probably looked like a fool leaving my house carrying my shoes, backpack bouncing around – like a runaway.
Believe me, I was almost there. I could be a runaway… I am a runaway, or I will be sooner rather than later if they kept this harassment up.
I stood and headed down the sidewalk. I didn’t know where to go but anywhere, even just strolling up and down the sidewalk was better than being trapped in that hell house for another minute.
It was peaceful and quiet outside. The birds’ chirping wasn’t going to give me a headache like those four back home would.
*~*~*
By the time I’d reached the nearest park, I had calmed down a bit. I sat on the first bench I came to and plopped my backpack down beside me. I pulled out my phone and discovered I had three missed texts. I must not have heard my phone beep through all the shouting. I pushed the message button and saw that one of the messages was from Mom, sent just a few minutes ago.
The other two messages were from – sigh – James.
The first was from midnight last night.
I instantly regretted turning my phone off last night to let it charge. A late night text session with James would have been something to stay up for. I checked his next message and was happily relieved that it had only been sent ten minutes ago.
Glee!
Should I do good messages, bad (Mom) message? Good…bad…good… good…?
I tapped on Mom’s message first, thinking it would be best to get rid of the bad first.
Mom: Your father and I realize you may need some time to cool off. We give you permission to spend some time outside and reflect. If you will not be back for lunch, please say so. And please eat something healthy and low calorie. Please be responsible with the independence we’ve generously allowed you to have.
Love: mom and dad.
How do you give someone independence? I contemplated as I stared at the message. I read the message for a second time, feeling my mouth go dry and my body shake. I mentally gave them both the finger.
I walked out on my own! No one could have stopped me.
I felt my face heat up. Her choice of words to describe the situation she had created was irritating the hell out of me.
I bent over and rested my elbows on my thighs, closing my eyes.
“Just breathe,” I murmured quietly.
Check the other messages.
Happy messages!
I opened my eyes, sat back up, and checked James’s message from midnight.
Tiger: Fireball, u awake?
That’s it?
It was still better than Mom’s message; anything was better than her message, even three little words from James.
What were you expecting from him? A speech about how amazing kissing you was?
I grinned widely.
Honestly…..Yeah!
I laughed at myself.
Get over yourself, I commanded myself as I checked his second message from ten minutes ago.
Tiger: Yo, what you doing later?
What? I reread the message. Was he sort of asking me out?
I texted him back
Annabelle: Nothing
A few minutes passed and he still hadn’t texted back. I was beginning to feel anxious.
Maybe he’s just not around his phone right now?
My phone beeped.
Yes!
Tiger: Really? How about right now?
Annabelle: I’m chilling at the park near my house.
Tiger: Hang tight!
Hang tight?
Was he coming to me?
How?
He didn’t even know what park I was in…
A car honked loudly.
I jumped off the bench, startled. I frantically scanned the area for the perpetrator. That’s when I noticed a big, black SUV pull up to the curb in front of the park.
James? I thought as I grabbed my backpack from the bench.
I walked hesitantly towards the car, unsure if it was actually him. The passenger window rolled down and I could see a male sitting behind the wheel wearing a baseball shirt, his eyes were covered with black Ray-Bans. He turned to the window and smiled big. I wondered if it was for me. I briefly glanced behind me, there was no one else here.
It’s for me!
“James?” I called.
Honk! Honk!
I smiled. It was definitely him. I approached the passenger door and bent into the open window.
“Hey,” I said softly, resting my elbows on the frame. The smile on his face evaporated and he looked away.
“Get in,” he ordered.
What’s his problem now?
I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to spend time with Douchebag James, I’d much rather Sweet James.
I thought about all the other things I could do besides being chauffeured around by him.
It was a short – empty – list.
I shrugged off his attitude, wiped the smile off my own face, and got in the car. As soon as I’d shut the door, he turned the wheel and pressed the gas, speeding away from the park.
I turned in my seat and stared at him. “Is everything okay?” I asked quietly as I put my seatbelt on.
We rode in silence for a few seconds, before he answered curtly, “Yeah, there’s something wrong.”
Asshole!
Keeping my thoughts to myself, I decided to continue speaking calmly with him. I was still riding too much of a high from our passionate kissing last night, despite the huge fight with my family this morning, to blow a fuse at his asshole-like manners.
But if it continued much longer, then things would return to normal between us: Nice Annabelle would scram and Bitchy Annabelle would be back with a vengeance.
She was waiting patiently in the corner of my brain; all he had to do was push me a little further and I’d call her out.
“Okay, what is it?” I asked calmly.
He took his eyes off the road and looked at me, shaking his head.
“Where’s my hello kiss?” he whined.
Jesus!
“Your hello kiss?” I repeated, a little bewildered by his demanding behavior.
“From now on, whenever you see me, you give me a
kiss,” he ordered sternly, returning his eyes to the road.
I think I’ll do whatever the hell I want.
I didn’t say that either, I was still riding that high and he’d earned extra points for looking cute in his baseball uniform.
“And if I don’t?” I challenged.
He glanced at me for a second before swinging the wheel around and pulling the car to the curb and slamming it into park. He unlocked his seatbelt and turned to me.
“Why’d you pull over?” I asked. Things had somehow just turned awkward.
He didn’t say anything but continued to stare at me, his mouth on the verge of pouting.
“You know, you’re lucky –” I began.
“I’m lucky –” he interrupted.
“Yeah, you’re lucky you look cute in your baseball uniform or else I’d have served you something nice and cold much earlier.” I crossed my arms across my chest as I finished.
Did I just call him cute?
I knew I was turning red.
He was staring straight at the windshield, his expression hidden behind his Ray-Bans. He slowly turned back to me, his mouth forming a wide, shit-eating grin.
“So, you think I look good today,” James began with a chuckle, “well maybe if you’re good I’ll wear my uniform more.”
“Oh God,” I muttered under my breath, my eyes finding the floor.
“Oh come on, don’t be shy now, not with what we did last night.” He chuckled louder.
“Jesus, you really are full of yourself.” I exclaimed.
“You’re damn right I am. I’m also considerate too, don’t you forget that.” He grinned.
I looked up at him, shaking my head in astonishment. “How are you considerate?”
“Well, for one, I might consider wearing this uniform more often.” he said.
“How is that considerate?” I asked.
He was really starting to irritate me.
“Well, I have to do whatever I can to help you fantasize about me when I’m not around,” he responded, as if his answer was completely logical.
I gasped. “You’re unbelievable.”
I reached down and grabbed my backpack off the floor.
“What do you think you’re doing?” James demanded, beginning to sound angry.
Before I could pull the door handle, he power-locked the doors from his side.
“Open the door,” I demanded quietly. I had no energy left to fight; my family took it all this morning.
“No!”
“Don’t yell at me! Open the door, please.”
“No.” He put the car in drive and sped away from the curb.
“James, I don’t have the energy for this. Please, just let me out,” I pleaded with him, dropping my backpack back down to the floor.
“No,” he said again, continuing to stare straight ahead. “Why don’t you have energy? We’ve only just started arguing.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” I stared out the window, trying to figure out where he was taking me.
“Try me?”
“It’s nothing,” I replied, “my family was just giving me a hard time this morning.”
“That’s it? That’s why you’re in a shit mood?” He shook his head in disbelief.
“No, that’s not just it,” I snapped.
“I’m just noticing things… It doesn’t take much for you to get mad.”
“Well then how about this,” I began loudly, leaning towards him. “I wake up to my mother shouting her demands, then, when I refuse, my little sister and little brother join her in tag-teaming me about how lame I am! Oh, then my dad joins in and decides he needs to tell me I was the rude, inconsiderate one!”
I turned away, letting out a deep breath. “Is that good enough for you?” I said to the window.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, sweetly.
I felt the emotions I thought I’d left back at the house begin to surface. My eyes felt prickly.
I shook my head, not wanting to go there, blinking away the potential tears.
“Whatever, it’s no big deal,” I shrugged. “I just want to forget about it.”
“I can help you forget, if you want…” James said, staring straight ahead.
“Oh yeah?” I asked skeptically, staring at his hands on the steering wheel. “How are you going to that?”
“Just trust me.” he said.
Trust him?
I stared out the window, watching everything swish by as we drove to God knows where.
Chapter 9
ANNABELLE
Warm skin caressed my neck as I lay on my side.
I felt a strange buzz slide along my body from head to toe as his arms encircled my waist. He leaned into my neck even more, pressing his lips beneath my ear.
His tongue slipped out and licked my skin as he continued to kiss, savoring every inch of that tender spot. My eyelids closed as my head leaned back, embracing the mind altering ecstasy of his touch, a touch that my body welcomed eagerly – desperately.
My God! A hum reverberated deep within me as I felt an amazing sensation crawl over every inch of my skin.
Some parts more than others.
Jesus, what am I doing?
His kisses were creating a trail from my ear to the base of my neck. My eyes popped open and I tilted my head to the side to allow him easier access around my neck. Heat steamed between us as he shifted to allow me to move my arms around his waist.
Trust him?
I grinned, remembering what he’d said back in the car. If only I knew what he was thinking, would I have willingly gone along with him?
I ignored the question.
It didn’t matter anymore, the decision was already made and my body, mind, and soul were experiencing the highlights of that decision.
I needed this, the touch of someone who cared for me enough to want me to feel like this.
Lately, the world hadn’t been interested in what makes me happy. Mom and Dad, Charles and Katherine were only interested in their own happiness, despite how it made me feel.
I remembered walking out this morning, finally having had enough of their selfishness, of their willingness to do whatever they wanted when it came to their bright ideas.
It felt good – too good – to finally allow myself to embrace what being selfish was all about.
Here I was, lying on James’s bed, in his room, all alone, while his parents were away with his half-brother and half-sister.
When he’d pulled into the driveway of his house and turned the car off, he’d informed me that his entire family was out doing their version of summer fun. Meaning they wouldn’t be back until nightfall.
Oh shit! I’d worried at the thought of being alone with James in his house. What were his expectations, did he want to do more than kiss? And what were we exactly? I knew one thing: I wasn’t going to act like some booty call for him.
You’re a virgin; you’re a long way from a booty call! I’d reminded myself and laughed. I convinced myself to go in anyways and if I got to a point where I was uncomfortable, I’d simply kick him in the balls and leave.
Done!
I laughed, remembering what I’d planned to do to him in case he crossed any imaginary line. At the same time I realized how close my knees actually were to his balls. Very close.
“What’s so funny?” James murmured into my skin, not bothering to stop his task of tasting my neck.
I tightened my arms around his waist, pulling further into his hold.
“It’s nothing,” I muttered as I pulled myself up to his neck and kissed along his jaw line.
He moaned softly as I rolled my tongue across his skin, I could feel his body shiver in response.
“You like that?” I did my best to sound seductive. I had no idea what I was doing or whether I was doing it right, all I knew was my body approved whole-heartedly with these things I was doing to him.
James leaned his head back and I moaned disapprovingly at his lips leaving my ski
n. He pressed his body into mine and I fell back on to the bed while he hovered above me. I stared into his eyes as his hand trailed across my waist to my arm, finally resting at my chin and tilting it back.
He leaned in, his beautiful green eyes never left mine as our lips touched. His hand left my chin and rested alongside my bust, only an inch separated him from exploring regions of my body no one had ever experienced. Ever!
I began the feel the heat of my anxiety as his hand itched to be closer to my boobs.
What the hell does he want to do with my boobs? I touch them all the time; they just feel like squishy balls…but not like water balls…more like jello balls.
I felt the weight of his body sink further into my body; he began kissing open-mouthed, his tongue playing with mine without worrying about whether it was invited to. My head was pushed into his pillow – he was kissing me like a man who’d just gotten out of jail and hadn’t seen a woman in years. He was hungry for whatever I was willing to give him – hungrier, taking whatever he set his sights on.
His hand shifted to the left and, as soon his fingers realized where they’d successfully land, began massaging my jello ball. My eyelids fluttered at the first caress, the first movement of his fingers as they kneaded into my breast.
Even through shirt and bra it felt amazing.
That familiar sensation from earlier increased its buzz around the lower half of my body. As his hand rapidly massaged my breast, I felt a strange heat ride along my belly button, turning into a painful yet pleasurable feeling. I moaned loudly against his devouring lips. James paused to stare down at me, a wild look in his eyes. He breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath. We’d been kissing for close to an hour. He sat back on my hips and pulled his baseball uniform up over his head. I caught the first glimpse of his ripped stomach and the sight of his six-pack sent my body quivering.
I was suddenly conscious of the stickiness of my t-shirt, heated from our prolonged embrace. I stared impatiently at him while he slid the shirt off; it was taking way too long because my body craved his heat and touch desperately. The ten seconds it took was far too long for my body to tolerate being without him on top of me.
“You like what you see, Fireball?” James purred seductively, leaning back into me.
