by P. O. Dixon
To Have His Cake
(and Eat It Too)
~
Mr. Darcy’s Tale
P O Dixon
To Have His Cake (and Eat it Too) ~ Mr. Darcy’s Tale
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2009 - 2011 P O Dixon
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, in whole or in part, in any form whatsoever.
This book is a work of fiction. The characters depicted in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Image Photo Copyright Geoffrey Allerton | Dreamstime.com
Third Edition – August 2011
Also available in print at most online retailers.
http://podixon.com
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In dedication to my greatest inspiration...
you know who you are,
and to those of you whose views
helped to shape this tale.
…And a special thanks to Gayle
Fitzwilliam Darcy had the best of intentions towards Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
His sense of duty to his family prohibited him from offering her marriage.
His love for her prohibited him from attempting to make her his mistress.
What then, is a man of means supposed to do
when he realises he cannot live without the only woman he will ever love?
~ Chapter 1 ~
Under His Protection
Darcy sat high upon his magnificent stallion, surveying his environs. What an unlikely turn of events that he should find himself in such a place. I am a long way from Grosvenor Square. It could not be helped. Even the slightest of chances to make up for his neglect warranted his being there that morning.
Would that I could go back in time a few months.
~ ~ ~
It had all begun at Netherfield Park, an estate in Hertfordshire and the temporary residence of his friend Charles Bingley. Over the years, Darcy had perfected the art of evading eager young women and their scheming mamas—their primary aim in life being to marry wealthy husbands. However, throughout the course of a few weeks, he had observed what he surmised as the makings of a rather predictable fate for his unsuspecting friend. Darcy had not wished to see his friend entrapped by such a scheme.
He had persuaded Bingley to leave Hertfordshire the day after the Netherfield ball. In so doing, he had prevented him from making a terrible mistake in offering for Miss Jane Bennet, an angelic beauty from the neighbouring estate of Longbourn. Darcy’s intentions had been genuine, or so he had believed. He had acted in service of a friend—at least in part. In his heart, Darcy had known he acted to protect himself; for he had believed himself in great danger of falling in love with Jane’s beautiful and enchanting younger sister, Elizabeth.
Darcy had found the Bennet family, with the notable exceptions of Jane and Elizabeth, vulgar and uncouth. They had no fortune, no connections, in short, nothing to recommend themselves. All that aside, he had not believed Jane returned Bingley’s affections. He had not wanted his young friend to commit to such a union.
Upon his return to town, Darcy had quickly resumed his rakish behaviour, frequenting a well-established brothel known as Madam Adele’s, and the like, with his cousin and partner in crime, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, in tow.
Bingley had married a young woman of the ton within three months of departing Hertfordshire. While he had loved Jane in his own way, it had not been enough to overcome the pressure to marry well from his conniving sisters, Miss Caroline Bingley and Mrs. Louisa Hurst, as well as his best friend.
While on his annual trip to Kent, with his cousin Richard, to visit their aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Darcy had heard of the untimely demise of his nemesis, George Wickham. His aunt had spoken at length of the scandalous connection with the Bennets. Darcy had abruptly returned to London and hired an investigator to find out the Bennet family’s fate.
He learnt that Wickham, who had briefly served as a lieutenant in the army, had run off with the youngest Bennet, Miss Lydia, and had deserted his commission. Mr. Bennet had tracked them down in a seedy part of London. Wickham had killed the elderly man under the guise of self-defence, but only after Lydia had thrown herself between her father and her dear Wickham, leaving the poor girl accidentally shot and killed by her own father. Weeks later, an enraged father had killed George Wickham. The tragic death of Mr. Bennet, a perfect stranger, had given him courage to avenge his own daughter, whom the unscrupulous Lt. Wickham compromised and jilted just months earlier.
Mr. Bennet’s widow had realised her worst nightmare, the loss of her beloved home—entailed to the male line of the family. Mr. Collins, a cousin who had thus inherited the Longbourn estate, had allowed the Bennet women four weeks to leave their lifelong home. Penniless, the women had been subject to the mercy of their remaining relatives to take them in.
~ ~ ~
The private investigator had assured Darcy that SHE would be there. She came to that very park and walked that exact path every morning, barring adverse weather. The sun rising across the horizon promised a beautiful day. Darcy waited.
When at last he spotted her headed towards him from a distance, he quickly dismounted. He secured his great stallion, Maximus, and began walking towards her. Elizabeth was terribly distracted. She stood directly in front of him when she looked up, sensing she was about to collide with someone.
The dispirited look in her eyes took Darcy aback. Though still very beautiful, her eyes lacked the amazing spark that had captured his heart months ago in Hertfordshire. He bowed deeply before her and uttered, “Miss Elizabeth.”
What a total surprise to see Darcy, of all people, standing directly before her. She almost forgot to curtsey. “Mr. Darcy!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. I had to see you,” Darcy quickly replied, more nervous now that she was standing before him.
Elizabeth’s mind grappled with the thought of his being there. Genuinely puzzled, she asked, “Whatever for?”
“Please pardon me, Miss Elizabeth. I recently learned of your family’s misfortunes. I came here to offer my condolences.”
“Thank you, sir,” she started out, “I appreciate your thoughtful sentiments more than you know.”
“May I walk with you, please? There is a matter I wish to discuss with you.”
In light of the impropriety of his request, Elizabeth protested, “I hardly think that would be proper, sir.”
“Please allow me this,” Darcy implored. Reluctantly, Elizabeth gave her silent consent and began walking with him. Darcy considered what he might say with some deliberation. Elizabeth waited and wondered in silence.
“First, how are you and the rest of your family? I pray you are well.”
“Indeed—very well, in light of the circumstances,” she replied. Her curiosity begged, “Sir, how did you know to find me here?”
“I confess, I hired a private investigator to learn the facts, once I heard of your family’s misfortunes. I cannot help thinking that it is my fault.”
“Your fault? Whatever do you mean?
Surely, you are not responsible for my younger sister’s actions.”
“I, more than anyone else, knew what Wickham was capable of, yet I shared that knowledge with no one in Hertfordshire. I left you and your family completely exposed to that villain.”
“Mr. Darcy, as much as it pains me to say this, all that knew Mr. Wickham, admired him, while you, however, were not at all liked by anyone. Please pardon me sir, but who would have believed you? Especially given everything you did in bringing about his circumstances.”
“There is no telling what falsehoods he may have spread against me. The point is that everyone believed him because I did nothing to refute his allegations. Though I had the proof, I chose not to use it because I was more concerned with my life and that of my family, with no consideration at all for yours. For that, I am very sorry. I would like to make amends.”
“There is nothing to be done. The past months have been very hard, indeed, but we have moved beyond that, and have begun to move forward.”
“How so, if I might ask? What has become of your family?”
“Well, as I am sure you already know, my family no longer resides at Longbourn. It is now the home of my cousin, Mr. Collins, and my dear friend Charlotte. Mama, Mary, and Kitty are living in Meryton with my Uncle and Aunt Phillips.”
“And Miss Bennet?”
“Jane has accepted employment as a governess in Scotland, caring for two small children,” she admitted, as her entire demeanour changed to one of sombre and deep regret.
Darcy observed her discomfort. It saddened him to see her thus. “I am truly sorry to hear that, Miss Elizabeth. What are your plans? Do you intend to stay here in town?”
“Actually, I am seeking a position as a governess, as well,” Elizabeth quickly responded with an air of enthusiasm she did not truly possess. “I do not wish to burden my uncle and aunt. Like Jane, I intend to use my earnings to help support our family in Meryton,” she concluded in a slightly subdued tone.
“I understand your wish to help support your family. However, your willingness to work as a governess is of great concern to me. While I know nothing of Miss Bennet’s situation, I know enough to understand that working as a governess is not always ideal.”
In her frequent letters with Jane, Elizabeth was acutely aware of her sister’s situation. While Jane had not experienced physical harm, her situation was tenuous. Elizabeth knew he was right and suspected he may have sensed her unease. She covered by saying, “If Jane is willing to make the sacrifice for our family, then surely I can do no less.”
“What if you do not have to? Miss Elizabeth, I have always admired your wit, your intelligence, and your kindness. I would like to offer you the position as a companion to my sister, Georgiana.” Up until that moment, Darcy had never considered such a scheme. It suddenly seemed the perfect remedy.
Elizabeth immediately thought back to Wickham’s harsh description of Miss Darcy. Although she hated him, he was her only source of reference on Miss Darcy, other than Caroline Bingley. Elizabeth responded, “I doubt she would look upon me favourably, based upon all I have heard.”
“You have yet to meet her to judge for yourself. I dare say you will find her a dear sweet young lady, greatly in need of female companionship.”
“Are you offering to employ me as her governess?”
“No, of course not. She is far too old for that. In fact, she recently celebrated her eighteenth birthday. She is coming out this Season. You would be her companion.”
“What does that entail?”
“You would come to live with Georgiana and me. You would accompany her wherever she goes during the Season, and you would simply spend time with her. I know she would benefit greatly in having someone like you in her life, especially now, when she is coming out. She is so lacking in confidence. She is dreading the upcoming Season. As an older brother, there is little I can do to help ease her concerns. Her current companion, Mrs. Annesley, is advancing in years. She is not what Georgiana needs most at this time in her life. Besides, Mrs. Annesley has advised me of her plans to retire at the end of the Season. The timing is perfect.”
“But I would have to move into your home, Mr. Darcy. Have you forgotten that we do not get along very well? You barely tolerate me, and I do not like you.”
“Please tell me what you really think, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy said, barely suppressing his amusement by her impertinence.
“You know it is true. Why, during our last dance at the Netherfield ball, we argued during the entire set.”
“I recall it as our first dance, and yes, I do remember our rather heated discussion; but I have always admired you for your courage and willingness to stand up for your convictions. You do not have to decide this moment. I wish for you to meet Georgiana first, and then make your decision.”
“Do you intend to bring her here to Cheapside to meet me?”
“I would like to send my carriage to bring you to my home. Shall we say this afternoon?”
After giving the matter some thought, Elizabeth responded, “I will agree to meet Miss Darcy this afternoon; however, I cannot promise you anything more. Besides, I am certain she will not approve of me.”
“I have mentioned you to Georgiana several times in my letters from Hertfordshire. I know she looks forward to meeting you. Why do you insist she will not like you?”
“Though it pains me to say this, Mr. Wickham told me that she is arrogant and aloof, much like you.”
“Miss Elizabeth, please allow me to explain the history of Wickham’s dealings with my family. It will help you better understand Georgiana and me, as well as Wickham’s motivations.” Darcy led Elizabeth to a nearby park bench to sit as he recounted his family’s painful history with Wickham. He discussed how Wickham was a favourite of his father’s, so much so that his father placed him on a near equal footing with Darcy. He told her the painful truth behind Wickham’s lies that Darcy had denied the living bequeathed to him by the late Mr. Darcy. The truth was that Wickham had refused to take orders and had demanded the value of the living instead. Having wasted the entire sum of three thousand pounds, settled upon him in lieu of the living, Wickham returned to Pemberley and attempted to persuade Georgiana to elope, only to abandon her once he learnt he would never receive a penny of her inheritance of thirty thousand pounds.
Elizabeth was a mixture of emotions by the end of Darcy’s account. She was deeply saddened for Georgiana and embarrassed by her own bias against Darcy due to her belief in Wickham’s lies. His willingness to share such intimate details of his life struck her emotionally. His revelation proved to lift a heavy burden from her heart, and she became far less inclined to think badly of the Darcys.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me. Poor Miss Darcy.”
“That is why I feel responsible for what Wickham did to your family.”
“I do not hold you responsible.”
“Thank you for that, but allow me to make it up to you still. Meet Georgiana and consider accepting the companion position. It will be an advantageous proposition for everyone. You will be able to help your family while retaining your respectability as a gentlewoman, Georgiana will thrive under your influence, and I will be happy knowing you are safe and under my protection.”
~ ~ ~
Elizabeth allowed Darcy to escort her back to the Gardiners’ home, though he declined her invitation to come inside to meet her aunt. She thought about all that had happened during her morning walk. She eagerly shared all but the personal details of the Darcys’ dealings with Wickham with her aunt. With no hope of obtaining work as a governess any time soon, and having been with the Gardiners for months, Elizabeth knew there would be unenviable consequences should she accept Mr. Darcy’s offer of employment. What choice do I have? I have determined to embark upon a life in servitude. Either I accept the offer before me as Miss Darcy’s companion where I surely will be required to attend balls, private dinners, and the like whilst in mourning, or I continue to pray that a s
ituation as a governess soon presents itself. She knew full well that society might frown upon either of the two choices; but at least she would have the means to aid in support of her mother and younger sisters and make them less of a burden to the Phillipses. In the end, it is the financial support of my family that matters most.
Elizabeth soon secretly began to wish things would go to her advantage that afternoon. Although she was reluctant to let her guard down completely with Darcy, she admired his behaviour as well as his openness with her. Of course, he was just as haughty and arrogant as she remembered him from their days together in Hertfordshire, but she would not let that affect her decision. Though he would be her employer, and she would be living in his home, subject to his authority, she would be spending the bulk of her time with Miss Darcy. Elizabeth doubted she would see much of Darcy at all, except during meals, if then. As she continued to mull over his offer, she could not help but ponder his words…that she would be under his protection…and wonder what he meant.
~ ~ ~
Elizabeth stood at the window, looking up and down the street. Everything remained the same as the last time she had done so, just ten minutes earlier. Returning to her seat, she resumed where she left off in her book. This is not helping. Why in Heaven am I this nervous?
Of course, she knew the answer. She had thought of little else since her chance encounter with Mr. Darcy. Chance encounter. Elizabeth considered the meeting barely warranted such an account. He planned it. The proud Mr. Darcy! Mr. Darcy, who looks at me only to find fault, went out of his way to meet me to offer to make amends for what could hardly be his fault. What is he about?
