Falling For Ryan: Part One

by Tracy Lorraine

  Molly

  “Molly, can I ask you something?” Megan asks sheepishly, which piques my interest.

  “Of course. What’s up?” She’s looking more and more embarrassed by the second. “Megan, why are you blushing?”

  “Um…well, J-James has this um…f-fantasy.”

  “Megan, I love you both, but I’m not having a threesome with you.”

  “What? No! Sorry, no, that’s not it at all.” She laughs once she’s recovered from the shock.

  “Whatever it is you want to ask me can’t be as embarrassing as asking that. Out with it.”

  “He wants me to pole dance for him. It’s his birthday in a couple of months, so I looked up classes and the strip club in town has dance studios at the back where they do lessons. Would you come with me? They’re on a Monday night at seven o’clock.” She huffs out a breath, as if she’s relieved she got the words out.

  “Oh my God, yes, of course I’ll come. I’ve always wanted to have a go. I’ve heard it’s hard work, though.”

  We continue chatting about our new hobby while Oscar wears himself out running around the soft play area.

  A couple of hours later, I’m sat in the pub with Jax. When he mentioned that he was alone tonight, I invited him out to celebrate his now job. I would have invited Ryan to join us, but I assumed he’d be out like every other night this week.

  As usual, conversation is easy between us, and we’ve been chatting about everything and nothing for ages.

  “What’s the matter, Molly? You don’t seem yourself,” he asks, looking concerned.

  “It’s nothing, sorry. I don’t want to ruin your evening.”

  I hadn’t realised the situation with Ryan had got to me so much it was obvious. I guess Megan would have noticed if we hadn’t spent our time together getting excited about our new class. In order to keep it a secret from James, we agreed to tell people we were just going to a dance class. I really hope Megan is good at it, because she’s so excited to give James the best birthday ever.

  “You won’t ruin my evening, Molly. If you need to get something off your chest, I’m here to listen. I know we haven’t actually known each other long, but it doesn’t feel like that. I’m here if you need me, is all I’m trying to say.”

  Staring at him, I blow out a long breath, tears stinging my eyes as I consider where I should start. Jax reaches his hand across the table and squeezes mine in support.

  “It’s Ryan. He’s acting really weird—going out and getting off his face every night, then coming in late. He was really horrible one night, and he’s never acted that way to me before. I’m really worried about him.”

  Jax knows about me living with Ryan and his relationship with Hannah, but I haven’t yet mentioned the chemistry between us.

  He opens his mouth to speak, but he’s suddenly pulled out of his seat and held up against the wall of the pub. My chair crashes to the floor as I jump to my feet.

  “Why the fuck is she crying? What have you done to her?” Ryan hollers in Jax’s face, holding him up against the wall by his throat.

  “Get the fuck off me,” Jax growls, making me jump to action. I start pulling at the arms Ryan has around Jax’s throat, pleading for him to let him go.

  “Ryan, what the fuck is wrong with you?” I scream in his ear. His hold loosens slightly.

  “Wait…you’re Ryan?” Jax questions. Ryan just glares at him. “I think you should be asking yourself why Molly’s upset,” Jax looks Ryan up and down, “Mate,” he adds tightly.

  At Jax’s words, Ryan snaps his head around to me and takes in my tear-stained face. He lets go of Jax and comes to stand in front of me, gently wiping the tears from my face. His features soften and regret fills his eyes.

  I spot the manager coming towards us over Ryan’s shoulder. “You two go and wait outside whilst I settle the bill—before we have a bigger problem on our hands,” I say to them, watching them scurry out of the pub.

  Once I’ve apologised profusely to the manager, paid the bill and left a hefty tip, I make my way out to join Ryan and Jax. They’re standing with their backs to the wall, hands in their pockets and staring out over the car park. Both have their jaws set, like they’re ready to jump on each other if one of them says the wrong thing. When I see them, I can’t help but think what a lucky bitch I am, having two seriously hot men fighting for me. I must have done something right in a previous life.

  “Ryan, this is Jax. As in, Jackson Parker, my employee. Jax, this is my idiot best friend, whom I live with.” They glance at each other. “I suggest you both make friends, because I’m telling you now that you are both important to me, and I will not have you at each other’s throats.”

  After staring each other down for a few more seconds, Ryan slowly puts his hand out for Jax to shake.

  “I’m sorry, mate. I saw red. Molly was upset, and I jumped to conclusions. I’m sure she won’t mind me saying she hasn’t got the best reputation for picking the good guys.”

  “Thanks for that, Ry,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “It’s okay, I understand. I’d probably do the same if she were my girl.”

  “I’m not his girl,” I snap, my frustration at this whole situation growing by the second. “Ryan, I think you’ve done enough for one night. I suggest you go home.”

  “Come on, then,” he says, and he starts walking away.

  “No, I’m not coming with you. I’m way too angry to be anywhere near you right now.”

  “Where the fuck are you going to go, then?” he asks, looking seriously pissed off.

  “Quite honestly, Ryan, it’s none of your fucking business. You just go home and calm yourself down before you cause any more damage.”

  He looks completely deflated by my words. His shoulders slump and he marches to his car. I watch him get in and slam his door, before he punches the steering wheel.

  “Wow,” Jax says, standing next to me, watching the show and rubbing his neck. “Before I was stopped so abruptly, I was going to say I thought the cause of your problem was that Ryan was into you, but having experienced what I just did, I would say that he’s more than just into you, Molly. That guy’s got it bad.” He turns to look at me with sympathetic eyes.

  “Shit.”

  Twenty minutes later, Jax has dropped me off and I’ve locked myself into my office for the night. My phone has been going off constantly for the last ten minutes with phone calls and texts from Ryan. I had to put it on silent to save me throwing it at the wall and smashing it to pieces.

  I sit down on the edge of the sofa and remove my heels, giving my toes a wiggle to stretch them out after being confined in my shoes for too long. My phone lights up on the coffee table again, displaying Ryan’s photo. The one I took when he was sunbathing on the outside sofa at our beach hut. Thinking of that week makes my heart break a little. Look at us now.

  Molly: I’m fine, but I won’t be home tonight. I’m too angry with you to be around you at the moment. I will be at the Morrisons’ for dinner tomorrow. Maybe I’ll see you there.

  Just the thought of going to the Morrisons’ tomorrow makes me groan. Not only will I have to see Ryan, but Emma will more than likely be there. It’s the only thing Susan and Pete have managed to make her attend since the accident: their monthly family Sunday roasts. I used to love spending the afternoon as part of a real family, but I haven’t spoken to Emma since she kicked off last weekend in the club, and I have a feeling I may still be mad at Ryan tomorrow.

  After a few moments, my phone lights up again with a reply.

  Ryan: Please forgive me. I was an idiot. x

  Chapter Thirteen

  Molly

  I walk into Susan and Pete’s just after one to find everyone already sat around the table. My plan so far has worked: When I got home, Ryan had already left.

  Susan looks up from passing the potatoes around. “Ah, angel, we didn’t think you were coming.”

  “I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve had a bit of a bad
morning, but I’m here now.” I smile sweetly at her and she accepts my excuse. Ryan’s eyes burn into me, and when I look up, there’s an empty chair next to him. I also notice that Emma hasn’t taken her eyes off her plate since I walked through the door.

  I reluctantly take the seat next to Ryan and try to relax, so it’s not obvious to everyone that there’s an issue between us. As soon as I settle in, I feel Ryan’s hand come to rest on my thigh and he leans over to whisper in my ear.

  “I was worried you weren’t going to come because of me. I’m so sorry, Molly. Please, I hate fighting with you.” His voice has a begging quality to it.

  I turn towards him. “I came so no one knows there is a problem. Keep your hands off me,” I say, removing it from my leg. “Don’t piss me off further, and we might just get away with it.” I pull back from him to see Emma glaring at us, shaking her head and tutting.

  Susan frowns at her but shakes her head and turns my way when her husband speaks up.

  “So, Molly, I hear you’ve employed a designer already. Quite a handsome chap,” Pete says, trying the break the tension.

  “Oh yeah, he’s a catch, all right,” Ryan mutters.

  “He’s lovely, and he’s amazing at what he does. I think we’re going to work really well together.”

  Ryan snorts next to me, and I turn my head and glare at him.

  “Don’t forget how sexy those tattoos are,” Lilly adds dreamily from the other side of the table.

  “No daughter of mine is going be going out with a tattooed thug, Lilly,” Pete chimes in.

  “Pete, Jax is most definitely not a thug. He comes from a really nice family. They own that chain of steak and grill restaurants you love. He didn’t want to go into the family business.”

  “How unlucky for us,” Ryan whispers beside me.

  “And just because he has tattoos, doesn’t mean he’s a thug. It’s art. He designed them himself.”

  Ryan mutters quietly to himself and my anger at his immature behaviour soars.

  “Ryan, would you like to share your thoughts with the table?” I ask him politely.

  “No, I’m good, thanks.” He smirks at me as he says it.

  “Then shut the fuck up,” I bark back at him, which makes everyone at the table stop eating and look at us. “Sorry,” I mumble, returning my focus back to my plate.

  “Oh, a lovers’ tiff?” Emma asks sarcastically.

  “Children, if you can’t be nice to each other, please don’t say anything at all,” Susan says in a motherly tone.

  The rest of the meal goes by in uncomfortable silence. As soon as dessert has been finished, I make the excuse of having loads of work to do and leave as quickly as I can. If I hang around, I’ll be interrogated by Susan and the whole mess will just come spilling out of my mouth. I feel bad about not helping clean up, especially as somehow Emma managed to run away even faster than I did, but I’ll make sure to do more than my fair share next month.

  I head back to the office and drag out the case I packed earlier to tide me over for a few days. I hate not going home. I love that house and my room, but I know it’s just going to end in an argument with Ryan. After lunch today, it was obvious we both need time to calm down.

  I get drawn into my work to pass the time and, before I know it, it’s evening. I check my phone—twenty-eight missed calls from Ryan and six texts. I open the first text.

  Ryan: Thanks for leaving me to the wrath of Susan. Coward.

  Ryan: I’m sorry, that was mean. It’s just that I was questioned about everything for over an hour.

  Ryan: I should say, I didn’t tell her anything about what is going on. I just fobbed her off.

  Ryan: Molly, please come home so we can talk. I know I’ve been a huge dick. I’m sorry.

  Ryan: Molly, please stop ignoring me. It’s killing me, not hearing from you. I hate you being mad at me.

  Ryan: Molly, I’m so, so sorry. Please talk to me. I was just trying to protect you last night. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and I was stupidly childish today. I’m sorry. Please come home. I hate it here without you.

  Molly: Ry, it’s obvious we both need time to cool off. I’ll be home when I don’t think the first thing I want to do is shout at you.

  I send my reply, put my phone back in my bag, and get back to work. I just sit down when the doorbell rings. I ignore it, presuming it’s Ryan trying to talk to me, but it rings again and again. I’m surprised when I hear a woman’s voice shouting my name. As I get closer to the door, I realise it’s Susan.

  “Molly…Angel, I know you’re there, your car is here. Open the door.”

  “Hi, Susan. What are you doing here?” I ask innocently.

  “I think we need a chat, don’t you?”

  I groan loudly. “Come on in. Do you want tea?”

  “Yes, please, angel.”

  I make the tea, then join Susan in the living room.

  “I tried talking to Ryan after both you and Emma ran away, but he just kept fobbing me off with rubbish. Emma has been even more distant than usual over the last week, and she won’t talk, either. What the hell is going on with you three?” Wow, Susan must mean business. 'Hell’ is a swear word in her book.

  “I don’t know where to start.”

  “How about the beginning? That usually works best.”

  I tell her everything about Ryan and me (leaving out the more X-rated parts), Emma and her opinion about us, Ryan and his binge drinking, and the saga with Jax from last night. She sits and listens throughout the whole thing, but she doesn’t say anything. She grabs her cup of tea and drinks it, deep in thought.

  “Exactly as I thought,” she says, putting her mug back on the coffee table.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Molly, all you kids think we don’t see what’s happening under our noses, but we do. Most of the time, we just ignore it, so you can all figure it out yourselves. It’s obvious how you and Ryan feel about each other. It’s in your eyes when you look at each other, or talk about each other. I’m not going to lie; at first, I wasn’t too keen on the idea. But the more I see you both together, the more I see how happy you make each other, and that is all I want for both of you. We have all been through a terrible time, and if out of that you two find each other, then I cannot complain.

  “As for Emma, well…we all know how much she has struggled—is still struggling—with losing Hannah. She isn’t as strong as you and Ryan, but she will get there. When she does, she will see that what’s happening between the two of you is okay. She just needs time.”

  “What about everyone else?” I ask.

  “At the end of the day, angel, we all want you both to be happy, and if that means you’re together, that’s okay.”

  Ryan

  I’ve been sitting for hours staring at my phone, hoping I would get something else from Molly, but nothing so far. In the end, I decide to go to bed early and try to catch up on some sleep. I just drift off when I’m awakened by banging. I fly out of bed and down the stairs because, in my sleep-induced haze, I think it could be Molly. When I wake up enough to know it’s the front door being hammered on, I realise it isn’t going to be her because she has a key and would just let herself in.

  I must look really disappointed when I open the door and see Susan, because she takes one look at me and pulls me into her arms for a hug.

  “Oh, angel, you were hoping it was Molly, weren’t you?” she says quietly to me while she comforts me.

  “Am I that obvious?”

  “You have no idea. Come on, invite me up. I’m dying for a cup of tea. It’s been a long day.”

  “Sorry, yeah, come on in. I’ll just go grab a t-shirt.”

  “That’s a shame, I’m starting to understand what my girls see in you,” she says with a cheeky smile.

  “Um…thanks?” I don’t know what to say to that. I can hear her laughing ,though, and it makes me smile.

  “You don’t need to sound so freaked out, Ryan. I was trying to lig
hten the mood,” she says, still laughing.

  When I get back to the living room, I see that Susan has already made a start on the tea.

  “So, without meaning to sound rude, what are you doing here?”

  “I’ve just been to see Molly.” She looks up see my reaction, although I’m not sure why. “She told me everything you were avoiding telling me earlier.”

  “Right.” I should have seen this coming.

  “I’ve given her my advice on the situation between the two of you. Now, I’m here to do the same with you.”

  Susan stayed for about an hour while we talked through everything. She refused to tell me what Molly said; that was for her to tell me, really. I admitted something I hadn’t realised before. I told Susan that I was in love with Molly. She took this better than I did, especially when I turned into a blubbering mess and apologised to both her and Hannah for falling in love again so soon.

  I’m now lying in bed, thinking about everything. “I’m in love with Molly. Shit, when did that happen?” I tell myself I will do everything in my power to show her how serious I am. I fall asleep, happy for the first time in a while, thanks to Susan. She really is an amazing woman.

  I wake up late the next morning after a long, deep sleep, feeling refreshed, and I head to the gym.

  It’s when I’m running on the treadmill that I realise what I need to do. I hang around the gym until I know she’ll be home from work, and then head over to the Morrisons’ house. Someone must be looking down on me and smiling today, because Emma’s car is in the drive, which is an unusual sight these days. I let myself in and head for the kitchen, where I know everyone will be. It’s just Susan and Emma in the room, and their heads snap up from the tablet they’re both staring at aimlessly.