by Jim Payton
Chapter 8
Janet slowly made her way home. Her mind was in a whirl of emotion. At one moment she felt like leaping into the air with joy, and in the next she was plunged into self-doubt and wondering how she could do what appeared to be required of her.
At home, Janet made a cup of tea and took it out into her back yard. She sat at a table and as she sipped, she let her mind freewheel. It covered events past and present. She recalled things from her childhood. Swimming in the river on her parents' farm with her brother and sisters. The fun of making hay and the inter-action it brought with neighbours. She remembered Bible class youth camps at Easter and during the Christmas holidays. Queen's birthday weekends spent in the caravan at Auntie Bet's and Uncle Harrys in Napier. Friday nights at the Cosy picture theatre, longing to be in the back seats where it appeared a lot of kissing and cuddling and other things went on. Later it had been University and Teachers Training College in Wellington. Church had taken a back seat for a number of years as a 'good time' took precedence. Eventually she had lost her virginity to an unknown boy she had met while too drunk to realise what she was doing. Not only had she lost her virginity, she found herself pregnant. She could remember her Dad's words when she left home; 'Don't you push a pram before your time'. Devastated, and ashamed, she had struggled to find someone she could confide in. There was the possibility of tracking down the father but she was too embarrassed to go down that road. Fellow students suggested she 'got rid of it'. Knowing that she had let down her parents was a major point; along with the embarrassment she could foresee when her pregnancy became apparent. Afraid to confide in any authority figure at Training College, she sought out a Doctor in the Wellington suburbs. While counselling was a legal requirement prior to an abortion, or termination as 'they' called it, in reality it amounted to a woman asking whether or not you really wanted one or not. Within a week, it was all over. Janet found the whole episode extremely embarrassing but was glad when it was over. She had not felt a great sense of guilt. It was more one of relief. It was only years later when she returned to the Church that any real sense of guilt surfaced. The Church she had started attending harped on about abortions. From her personal point of view, it seemed an awful lot of men were against it with the women being blamed. She had often wanted to stand up and say, 'What about the males involved', but never did. She had long ago accepted that God had forgiven her. She still wondered how many women were turned away from a forgiving God, by Churches pushing the 'guilt trip', instead of God's mercy, love and forgiveness.
She had dated, and still did on occasions. She had convinced herself that if Mr. Right came along then she would marry, but if he did not, then that would be okay as well.
Her mind found itself back with Jude Prentice. He appeared to be everything she would want in a man. He had been charming, courteous, well spoken, well dressed, and while of average appearance, his demeanour was compelling. From there, her mind went to his request. Several questions faced her along the lines of; was he from God, was she able to confront Palmer, could she 'convert' any non-believer let alone Palmer and could she find anything to convince a scientist that evolution was wrong.
At that point, Janet became aware of the buzzing of a bumblebee. She watched as the fat furry bee landed on a flower and sought out the centre of it. After a bit of wriggling and turning around a few times, it lifted off and flew to the next flower. For the next few minutes, Janet became absorbed in the amazing hovering and flying abilities of the bumblebee. She had never really taken much notice of people who said proof of creation was everywhere. Trees, the grass, wind; all drew her attention. How, she wondered, could all of those come from rocks or primordial slime? She did not doubt for a moment, that if God wanted to turn a rock into an elephant he could, but why would he want to when he could just make an elephant?
