by Nicole Fox
But I don’t know that for sure.
I don’t know anything anymore.
Finn steps away and pulls his jeans down so he is standing in just his black boxer briefs. I try and fail to not admire his strong thighs and the sizable bulge between his legs.
“Take these.” He throws his jeans over my shoulder and walks out of the stall.
“What will you wear?” From anyone else, the move would be gentlemanly. But with Finn, I expect I’ll pay for his kindness later on.
“I’ll just wear my practice stuff home.”
I stay put in the damp stall, clutching clothes that smell like frosty pines, resisting the urge to bury my face in them, while Finn pads away in bare feet, his shoes dangling from his fingers.
“Oh,” he calls just before leaving. “And buy a fucking lock, alright?”
16
Finn
“Why were you two late?” Caleb is pissy and drenched in sweat. I can’t entirely blame him. Coach made us run an extra mile to make up for Viktor and I both being five minutes tardy.
“He had to get his dick wet again,” Viktor cackles.
I chuck my cleat at his chest, but Viktor catches it, laughing even harder.
“The new girl?” Caleb groans and shoves his soiled tank top in his duffel bag. “I know you’ve got some big plans for her, but if you aren’t going to let the rest of us participate, then make sure we don’t suffer the consequences. Comprende?”
“No, pendejo, no comprende.” I smack him in the back of the head and drop down on the bench. I want to get out of my sweaty clothes, but I don’t have anything to change into after I gave the DeVry girl my shirt.
I should have made Lily walk out of the school in her underwear. She would have been humiliated, which would have served my purposes, but damn, she looked too good to let her go traipsing around like that. Right now, everyone knows she is mine, and I don’t want that to change. “I do whatever the fuck I want.”
“That’s all fine and well as long as we get to do whatever the fuck we want at the auction this weekend.” Viktor wags his brows at me suggestively. “Or, whoever the fuck we want, if you know what I mean.”
“We always know what you mean.” Noah is already showered with a towel wrapped around his waist, and he walks through our group to get to his locker.
“Wait.” Caleb holds up both hands to silence everyone and then turns to me. “You’re bringing her to the auction? Is that in the plan?”
Ruin her, my dad said. Destroy her reputation. Knowing you, it shouldn’t be that hard.
I nod. “Why not?”
The look of delight that crosses Caleb’s face is exactly why not. Because the idea of anyone else touching Lily makes me murderous.
It shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t care.
I’m not supposed to care.
That is certainly not in the plan.
Yet, I found myself looking for her today while I moved from class to class. I wanted to see her.
When she left early Saturday morning, she was pale and shaking and terrified. But before that, there was fire. More than I expected from her.
Maybe that’s it. My feelings towards Lily have nothing to do with Lily, per se. It’s just that she surprised me. Usually, I get exactly what I expect. I’ve always been good at sizing people up, at understanding how to read and manipulate them, but Lily surprised me.
So, I’m reacting to that. My interest in her is purely scientific. I want to understand how she ticks, how she operates.
After our rendezvous in the girls’ locker room, I’m no closer to finding out.
Even after everything she saw on Friday, Lily wanted me to touch her. She was dripping for me. What does that mean?
“Like you can afford her anyway,” Viktor says, derailing my train of thought. “Finn’s offering is going to be a hot commodity.”
Caleb puffs up his chest. “I’ve been saving up. I’m ready to have a good time.”
“Do you even know who you’re bringing?”
“Do you?” he shoots back at Viktor.
Viktor licks his lips. “The girl from the party Friday night. She already agreed. She practically begged for it. Among other things.”
He thrusts his hips suggestively, letting us all know he got laid.
The auction is supposed to be a secret senior tradition, but the rumor spreads a bit further every year.
The senior football guys bring a date to a party, and then that date is bid on by the group. The girls who agree to this party are always down for a good time and it ends up being pretty much a giant orgy.
A few years back, everyone in attendance had to get treated for crabs, so now a clean bill of health is required for admission. Which is why the party now occurs after the Ravenlake-sponsored annual STD screening, which came into being because of the aforementioned party.
The sexual circle of life. High school is a fucking animal kingdom.
This year, we worked it out that all of the Golden Boys get to go since it will be our only chance to do it all together. If the other senior players had an issue, they didn’t say anything. Likely, no one wanted to argue with me or Viktor.
Caleb looks displeased and is oddly silent, letting me know he hasn’t found a willing female yet. If he doesn’t act fast, he won’t be able to get into the party. But I have enough on my mind that I’m going to let Caleb sort this one out himself.
“I have to meet my dad. I’ll talk to you fuckers later.”
Noah waves, Viktor and Caleb both flip me off over their shoulders, and J.C. yells something unintelligible from the shower.
“Are you still showering?” Viktor screams at him. “Stop jerking off and get out here.”
I bite back a smile and shake my head. My friends are idiots.
My phone buzzes. It’s Dad, telling me to pick up dinner. We were supposed to go out, but most of the time something comes up and we end up eating in his office while he answers emails. It’s so stereotypically workaholic that I can’t even be mad.
Well, I can be. I am. But I just go along with it. I only have to make it through one more year of his shit, and then I’m gone.
“Did you leave a tip?” he asks the moment I walk through the door, carryout barbecue in hand.
I hold out the bags, looking down at my football pants. “No pockets.”
His lip curls in disgust. “Why didn’t you shower? Or change? You let people see you like that?”
“Good to see you, too, Dad.” I drop the bags on the corner of his desk and pull out the Styrofoam containers. “I had a great day, thanks for asking.”
He lets out a long, pointed sigh, scoops out a bite of pulled pork, and gestures for me to take the chair in the corner. “How are you making out with Lily?”
“What?” My attention snaps up, brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
He raises a brow at me. “It means, is she still here? In my fucking town?”
“I told you I’d handle it.”
“Yeah, well, I supposedly solved this problem over the summer, yet here we are.” He eats another bite of pork and growls. “Either way, we have to clean up this mess, and I want to make sure you are focused. Nothing else matters, Finn.”
“I know.”
“Nothing,” he repeats. “Not your idiotic friends or football or … anything. Not compared to this. Now more than ever, you have to keep your eye on the prize. I want her gone by the end of the semester.”
I’m barely paying attention. My mind is on Lily. How she sounded when she came all over my fingers. How she looked with my seed spilled all over her belly.
“Are you listening to me?” He bangs his fist on the table to get my attention. “Fuck, Finn. Focus for five fucking minutes. Can you do that? Can I get that much of your time?”
I glare at him, barely resisting the urge to fling my pork across his picture-perfect office. The thought of barbecue sauce sliding over the pages of the unread books on his shelves and working its way into the l
ight gray carpet covering the hardwood floor brings me a weird sense of peace.
He might be able to ruin my life, but I could just as easily ruin his office.
“I spend all of my time carrying out your orders. Excuse me if I’d like to have a quiet dinner.” I drop my food on his desk and stand up, pinching my shirt and pulling it away from my sticky chest. “I’m going to shower. I feel disgusting.”
“You need to eat. You’re getting too thin.”
“I lost my appetite.”
As I reach for the handle, my father clears his throat. It’s a short, sharp sound. A warning.
I turn around, and his blue eyes are fixed on me, eyebrows low. Everything about my father is always pristine. His hair is coiffed in the same way every morning, his suits and shirts are pressed and well-fitted. His appearance is his mask. The one he shows the world.
Right now, however, there is a crack in it. His expression is concerned, though I can tell he is trying to hide it. He wants to scream at me and demand I listen to him, but he can’t because, more than ever, he needs me.
“Ruin her and run her the fuck out of this town,” he says. “That is the plan. Make sure you’re sticking to it. For both of our sakes’.”
I nod and reach for the doorknob, but that isn’t enough of an answer for him.
“I mean it, Finn. If this comes back to me, I have a way out for myself. But you won’t be as lucky.”
A chill moves down my spine, but I hide the shiver with a laugh. “Is that what I am now? Lucky. I had no idea.”
He snorts. “You’ve been lucky since the day you were pulled from the flames.”
I snap around. We don’t talk about the fire that killed my mom and sister. We don’t talk about that day at all.
As soon as the new house went up, it was a new start. At least, that’s what my dad said at the time.
Now I see that for what it always was: a load of shit.
He leans forward over his desk. “And don’t forget it.”
I shake off his words as fast as I can and roll my eyes. “Don’t be such a fucking drama queen. I’m taking care of it.”
17
Lily
The couch in the therapist’s office is nicer than my bed at the motel. I’m tempted to curl up in a ball and sleep.
Dr. Sharon wouldn’t say anything if I did. She has made it clear that our time together is for me to use as productively or unproductively as I would like. It’s kind of obnoxious how nice and gentle she is.
“I get paid no matter what we do in here,” she said once, winking.
I like her, but I hate therapy. Because therapy is hard. It requires me to wade through and rise above the sea of feelings I would much rather drown in.
“A lot has changed since I saw you last,” Sharon says today, looking over her notes. She took two weeks off for a tropical vacation with her husband. Her skin is a glowing bronze color. “You said last month you were going to be moving and starting a new school. How has that been for you?”
Mom promised me anything I said in therapy would be confidential. She would never ask to see transcripts from our conversations or do anything to break my trust, but I still hesitate to tell the complete truth.
Because the truth would crush my mom.
Moving to Ravenlake Prep, the same school where Nico Barber attended, would not have been my first choice.
In fact, it would have been my absolute last choice. Right after—oh, I dunno, getting hit by a car, or moving to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. Both of those would have been preferable.
I don’t want my mom to know that, though. She is excited about her new job and the benefits it will provide. After I graduate in a year, I’ll feel a lot better leaving town if I know she will be able to pay rent and provide for herself.
So, I just have to muddle through.
“Fine,” I say, careful not to smile too much. Dr. Sharon can tell when I’m lying to her. Usually I get uncharacteristically friendly, which she says is a big red flag.
“Just fine?”
I shrug. “Fine, good, whatever.”
“Are you making friends?”
I try to hide my blush. “Uh, yeah, totally. I made a friend.”
“That’s great,” she says, scribbling a note down. “Tell me about her.”
“Her name is Cora,” I say. “She’s, um… Pretty. Fashionable. Really nice.”
You, Lily DeVry, are a rotten-ass piece of fruit. My face burns. Right where Cora slapped me.
If she’s a friend, I’m fucking Elvis. Friends don’t do what she did to me. Torment me. Corner me, strip me, embarrass me.
But if she’s my enemy, what does that make Finn? Is he better? Worse?
I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.
The only thing I do know is that I can’t let Dr. Sharon or my mom know just how bad things are looking. They’ll panic, do something drastic.
No, I just need to hunker down. Suffer through this year.
Then I can get out of Ravenlake forever.
“That sounds lovely. Any boys on the horizon?” She winks playfully.
My face feels like it’s glowing red, so I look down in my lap and fiddle with the zipper of my hoodie. “Finn,” I whisper.
“Sorry, dear, what’d you say? I didn’t catch that.”
I gulp and try again. “Maybe. His name is… Finn.”
“Finn. That’s an interesting name. Is he cute?”
I know she’s trying to be nice. Trying to connect with me.
But talking about Finn like he’s just any other boy feels so wrong. He’s not “cute.” He’s not “nice.” He doesn’t “treat me well.”
But when he touched me, I would’ve done anything for him.
What does that make him? What does that make us?
I shiver.
“Yeah,” I say, as casually as I can. “He’s very cute.”
Dr. Sharon gives a quiet golf clap in support of my social skills. “That is nice. All of it. It sounds like you’re adjusting very well to this new environment.”
If only you knew, Dr. Sharon, I whisper to myself. If only you knew what I’ve done. Or what’s been done to me.
“Is there anything else that’s been on your mind?” she asks. “The floor is yours if you’d like to talk about something specific.”
I think for a moment. “Mom has been sadder about Dad recently,” I say. “Or, at least, she has been showing it more. I think everything that happened this summer has left her a little raw.”
“She almost lost you,” Sharon says.
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
“She didn’t know that at the time. Injuries like you sustained are a kind of trauma for everyone around you as well. You have to give her time.”
I suck in my cheeks and then sigh. “She has had time. Six years.”
Sharon tilts her head to the side. “It’s only six years if you’re talking about your dad. I’m talking about you. It has only been a few months since your accident.”
Accident. That’s one word for it. Attack would be my choice.
“She was crying over a picture of Dad the other night, not a picture of me. I don’t think she is sad about me.”
“Trauma can be a tangled web. Don’t be so sure the two aren’t related,” Sharon says. “But I want to talk more about you. I think it would be good for you to keep making friends at your new school. Even if they don’t last long-term, having people you enjoy being around and trust will really help make this a good year for you.”
I almost laugh out loud at that.
This won’t be a “good year.” This will be the year from hell.
Finn Foster is going to make very sure of that.
18
Finn
Taking care of it. That’s what I told my dad I was doing.
It’s true.
Well, partially true.
But the girl isn’t making it easy on me.
Fact is, she’s making things very, very
hard.
After I shower, I step out into my bedroom, still dripping wet, towel wrapped carelessly around my waist.
My dad thinks I’m taking care of Lily for him. But I have my own reasons. Namely, she doesn’t belong in our world. That was more than proven by the brief glimpse she had into it last summer.
One peek behind the curtain nearly killed her.
Yet, as much as I know she doesn’t belong at Ravenlake Prep, I can’t help but think about the way her blonde ponytail curled against the base of her neck.
Or the way she bites her lower lip as she sketches in her notebook.
Or the way her eyes went wide with wonder when she came hard on my fingers in the locker room.
Fuck. That memory alone is nearly enough to make me bust right now.
Frustration is practically bubbling out of my pores, so I lie back on my four-poster bed and whip my cock out, wrapping my hand around the base.
Lily DeVry feels like a virus in my servers, like an infestation I should get rid of. That’s exactly what I’m going to do: get rid of her. Pump her from my system. I bite back a moan as I do my best to purge her, imagining her hand is the one on my shaft even as I try to forget her.
Then, there is a shift.
Suddenly, my fantasy grabs the wheel, and Lily’s mouth is around my cock. She is gagging on my length but asking desperately for more.
Then, she is spread-eagled on my bed, her hands and ankles tied to each of the posts, with a muzzle across her mouth, but her eyes tell me she wants me.
Sweat sprouts across my forehead as I get closer to the climax, imagining her straining against the restraints. Desperate to touch me as I drill into her again and again. Pulling all the way out before slamming back in.
Release finally comes. I spill my seed across her stomach and breasts while she stares up at me with that same wide-eyed look of wonder.
As soon as the frustration is gone, my disgust returns.
Lily doesn’t belong here. Not in my school, not on my cock, and certainly not in my head.
