by Ella Maven
I reached out with a tentative hand and stroked her hair. I wished I could feel it on my bare skin. I longed to sift the strands through my fingers, but I didn’t dare touch her with my mangled hands. Besides, I couldn’t touch anything without my gloves or I’d be in pain.
Pain. It always came back to the pain. It ruled my flecking life.
Jennie stirred and lifted her head. I drew back my hand quickly. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, and when her gaze landed on me, she rose to her knees with a start. She lifted her hand to the top of her head with her fingers splayed. Fenix.
“That’s me,” I said. “Are you okay?” She nodded quickly and pointed to me. I gave her a nod. “I’m fine.”
Immediately, her eyes narrowed, and she pursed her lips. She shook her head and hopped to her feet. She pointed to herself and made a stabbing motion, then raised her hands in a victory. “You … stabbed someone? Who? Bezmir?”
She shook her head, then pointed at me. She mimed taking off a pair of invisible gloves and then held her hands out like I do when I have my fire. Making throwing motions, she opened her mouth in a silent roar before suddenly swaying, rolling her eyes into the back of her head and collapsing on the ground. She lifted her head and glared at me before patting her chest with a concerned expression.
“I used my fire? Why?”
Twisting her lips to the side, she thought for a moment before sticking her lower jaw out, baring her teeth, and bulking up her shoulders.
I frowned. “Ogrices? The ones who attacked us at Bezmir’s shop?”
She nodded.
“So, I…” She made the fire gesture again, and then a whooshing sound as she flailed her arms. I winced. “I burned a lot of stuff, didn’t I?” Another emphatic nod. “And then I collapsed?”
Taking careful steps forward in her bare feet—her boots lay discarded in a corner—she knelt on the bedding pad near my hip. Nodding, she again placed her hand over her heart, and gazed at me imploringly
“You… were worried?”
Her eyes filled with wetness and she swiped at them before leaning as close as she dared and whispering a raspy, “Yes.”
I swallowed down a lump of guilt in my throat. “I am sorry for worrying you.”
She shook her head and seemed agitated over something. Her hands reached for me, and she hesitated before briefly touching the back of my hand. “No sorry’s,” she rasped with a tightness around her eyes.
“Don’t speak if it hurts.” I glanced around for some qua, but there was nothing in this room except for the bedding pad we sat on. A thought occurred to me. “We’re on the cargo ship, right?”
She nodded.
“Bezmir and his crew are here?”
Another nod.
I blew out a breath. “Good thing I didn’t light them all on fire.”
She held up her hand, palm down and wiggled her hand with a pained smile.
I groaned. “Oh fleck, you mean I almost did?”
The door opened, slamming into the wall with a loud bang.
Jennie nearly jumped out of her skin, and I growled at the intrusion.
Bezmir sauntered in, a jug of qua in his hand and a package of food in the other. “You’re awake?”
“Clearly.” I snatched the jug from him and immediately handed it to Jennie. “Here, drink.”
She tried to hand it to me, but I shoved it back at her, until she finally relented and took small sips.
“So, you’re the firebrand Drix.” Bezmir leaned against the wall. “Maybe the hair should have been a giveaway.”
I ignored him as I dug into the food package and handed Jennie some jerky before shoving a few pieces in my mouth. I didn’t want Bezmir to know I couldn’t remember what happened.
“I gave you some Kixx after you collapsed, because I was honestly worried you weren’t going to live.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. That explained why I could taste it. I grabbed the jug of qua and took a gulp, swishing it in my mouth before swallowing.
“Seeing as you saved us from that attack, I’ll consider it a free dose.”
I glared at him. “Very generous.”
“I don’t have much on board, though, so don’t get any ideas about killing me. Only I know where the exchange location is to get you the rest of your supply.”
“Worried about me now that you know my abilities?”
Bezmir let out a husky laugh. “I’m not stupid. You can kill me with or without your fire. But then you’ll never get your Kixx, and you need it to function, right? I thought before you just liked how it made you feel, but now I realize… it’s about taking away the pain. I saw your hands.”
My cora racing, I clenched my fists and held back the wince as the tight skin pulled.
“Just remember who has the power here, Drix. I don’t care what you can do with your hands or what blades you produce from your body. I’m the only thing standing between you and a lifetime of agony. Next time you save the human before me, think about that. I’ll accept other bargains, but her… She’s only got one purpose.” He jerked his chin toward the food in my hands. “Eat up. You both have some work to do to keep this ship running now that I’m down a few of my crew.”
When the door closed, silence descended on the room. I didn’t know what to say, and Bezmir’s words rattled around in my head. I remembered what my life was like without Kixx, and it’d been one of pain and madness. I wouldn’t be worth anything to Jennie, or anyone, like that.
Frustration welled inside of me until I remembered the note in my pocket. The plan. I had a plan, and if I could stay in my right mind long enough to carry it out, I just might be able to save Jennie from a lifetime of Rogastix ownership. I tugged off the clasp for my pants and reached inside.
Jennie
One minute he looked ready to punch a hand through the wall, and the next he was… taking off his pants?
Warily, I backed away, but he ignored me. His hand dug into the front of his pants, joining the other bulge. I remained frozen, terrified he was going to burst my happy bubble and pull out… Well, pull out whoever it was that was in there. A big alien cock?
Except he didn’t do that. After a faint ripping sound, he pulled out a piece of well-worn leather and smoothed it out over his thigh. He studied it, and I leaned closer to see that there were faint marks on it. A language. He was reading.
He glanced up at me then, as if just remembering I was there. He shoved the leather back in his pants before reclasping the belt. He twisted at the waist to face me. “I have a plan written down, because my memory—” he clenched his jaw and looked down for a moment. “My memory fails me sometimes.”
I tilted my head in a questioning look. What plan?
“Jennie, I won’t hand you over the Rogastix. That was never a doubt in my mind. I’d kill them all and take over this ship right now, but there isn’t enough Kixx on board to last me until I can get us to safety.”
“Why?” I forced out. “Kixx?”
His gaze dropped to his gloved hands. “I wasn’t born with the ability to have fire. I’m a Drixonian from planet Torin. Shortly after I was born, before I can remember, a virus swept through our planet, killing all our females and most of our elder males. When our society collapsed under the loss, we left to rebuild on our sister planet while working for the Uldani, a race we thought were our allies. They were not. When we learned this and fought back, some of us were stolen and…” He pulled off his gloves to reveal his scarred hands. He flexed his fingers and a small flame burned in his palm. The scales under it melted and warped.
I reached out but pulled back quickly. I knew his fire would burn me, but also, he didn’t want to hurt me.
“…altered to create super soldiers. I woke up in agony, unable to control the fire. When they learned their experiment had gone bad, they sold me to the Plikens. For fifty cycles, I was sequestered alone in the deepest part of the mines, tasked with burning out tunnels. That was all I did. Alone.” He extinguished the flame.
“Alone?” My whisper cracked on the last syllable.
He nodded. “In pain, nearly out of my mind. When I managed to escape, I didn’t know who or what I was. You met Zecri, but there were two others altered and sold here as well that I know of—Rexor and Mikko. The three of them together helped me gain a part of me back, but the only way to keep away the pain—and keep me from losing my mind—is to take Kixx. Without it, I couldn’t protect you.”
I reached for him, but he drew back. “I can’t… I can’t be touched. Even with the Kixx, touch pains me. I can touch with my gloves on. In moderation.” He pulled them back on and rested his hands on his thighs. “I hate being dependent on it, because it’s killing me, too, eating me up from the inside.” He laughed wryly. “What do I want to lose first? My mind or my body?”
I reached for his hand, my heart aching at his story. My past on that damn planet hadn’t been that great either, but I’d largely been left unmolested. He’d had his body altered without his consent, leaving him in chronic pain and dependent on a drug that was killing him.
He let me take his hand, watching as I clasped our fingers together. He rotated his wrist, head cocked as he studied my small hand in his big gloved one. His nubbed brow lowered over his purple eyes. “This … feels okay. Nice even.”
I squeezed his hand and smiled through tears. He reached out and touched one as it rolled down my cheek. “What does this mean?”
“Sad.”
“Sad?”
“For you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be sad for me. I’ve lived a long time, and I’ve had brotherhood in my life.” His fingers tightened on mine. “I won’t let the Rogastix have you. But I need to get my hands on that supply, or I’ll never be able to get you to safety.”
“Then … what?”
He blew out a breath. “Then I’ll have fulfilled the most important mission in my life. Whatever comes after that is what Fatas decides.”
More tears spilled out over my lower lashes, and I sniffed.
“Please don’t be sad.”
“Sad,” was all I could mutter. I pointed at him and managed one more word, “Friend.”
Even on Earth, I’d been so busy with school and work I hadn’t had much time for friends. I’d been close with my sister, but lately we hadn’t been able to get together for our standing monthly dinner date. I’d been working so hard toward a future that had vanished in thin air. I wished I’d spent more time with my sister. I wished I’d told my parents I loved them more frequently.
Fenix was my friend. I’d had a sense about him the first time I saw him that he’d change my life. I didn’t let myself think he was lying, because his actions backed up his words. He’d continually taken care of me, saved me first, treated me with care. I could see the pain in his eyes and hear it in his voice as he talked about what happened to him and his race.
I swiped at the tears on my face, feeling a little more emboldened. I’d always been described as shy and non-confrontational. I was a listener. But I’d successfully stabbed an orc thing in the chest to save myself. I wouldn’t sit around and let Fenix do all the work.
I pointed to myself. “Help?”
“You need help?”
“How … help?”
“You want to help?”
Of course, I wanted to shout. Instead, I just gave him a look.
A laugh rumbled up his chest. “Okay. When we are around the crew, make sure you listen.” He pointed at my ear. “They don’t choose their words carefully when you’re around, probably because they don’t think you can repeat anything. Do they know you can say a few words?”
I shook my head. That had been my secret. I was determined to be able to talk again. “Practice,” I whispered. “Secret.”
“Smart Jennie,” he said. “Practice in secret. And drink.” He handed me the canteen.
I took a few sips before handing it back. I wasn’t sure how much they would give us.
“I’m going to search the ship for weapons and anything else that will help us. I have a plan but…” he dug his fangs into his bottom lip. “I don’t know how this will all end yet.”
No, no end. “Begin.”
His tongue crept out to prod the corner of his lips as he studied our clasped hands. “Right,” he whispered. “A beginning. At least for you.”
Eight
Fenix
The next few rotations were spent at the beck and call of Bezmir. My job was to repair parts of the ship which had been damaged in our quick exit from the dock. So, I spent time in the hull, banging away at the dents and patching the weakened walls.
Jennie was put in charge of cooking, which she didn’t seem to mind. The best part was she had nearly become invisible to the crew. When they weren’t working, they relaxed in the kitchens, drinking spirits and playing games of chance. What followed was loose tongues.
When we were alone, she practiced speaking, and I was hopeful her voice was not beyond repair. She’d managed to develop a low tone in contrast to the raspy whisper she’d used when she first told me her name. I helped when I could, and with my fire I heated mugs of an herbed drink with a sweet syrup she said soothed her throat.
One night in our room, while the Rogastix crew was mostly passed out from drinking, I extinguished my flame and handed her the steaming mug.
She accepted it with a smile. “My bath.”
“What?”
“How you heated … my bath?”
I smiled. “Yes, I did it when you were in the expeller because I hadn’t wanted you to see my hands.”
“Why?”
I grimaced. “They’re ugly and a weakness.”
She shook her head. “You’ve made it…” Her voice cracked and she took a sip of the brew. “Strength.”
I hadn’t thought about it that way. I stared at my gloved hands.
“How did you … control?”
“How did I learn to control it?”
She nodded. “Well, when I first woke up, my hands were on fire. I felt like my entire body was burning from the inside out. I couldn’t throw my fire then, only watch as it melted the scales of my hands. They never burn up completely, just melt and remelt every time. So, when the Uldani couldn’t control me, they sedated me and sold me to the Plikens. When I woke up again, I was in a pit of the mines, in near darkness. A voice hollered at me that if I wanted food, I had to work. And that was what I did.”
Her eyes were pained, which was why I hated talking about this, but if she asked me a question, I had to answer. “How … stay alive?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, really. I just… Stayed alive? I was too out of it to realize how miserable I was.”
“No,” she gulped her drink and set the mug on the floor at her feet. Twisting at the waist she faced me. “You have inner fire … nothing to do with flames. Inner fire to survive.”
She could barely speak, but her words each felt like she was shouting in my brain. “I want to believe that’s true.”
“Is.” She nodded.
I watched with trepidation as her fingers reached out. I braced for the pain of touch, but when she brushed my chest, only a gentle warmth flared where she made contact. That had happened before, when she touched my face. Without thinking, I reached out and snatched her wrist. She sucked in a breath, and her eyes darted to mine.
I swallowed and loosened my grip slightly. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I needed to know how far this went. It wasn’t the pain that scared me, it was the lack of touch I hated the most. The inability for me to gain comfort from others. Even my brothers could barely grasp my neck in the traditional Drixonian greeting without me gritting my teeth against the pain.
But with Jennie, there was something else. Not just the absence of pain, but a blooming … pleasure. “Please,” I murmured. “Please touch me again.”
Her eyelids fluttered. She cocked her head and queried, “Pain?”
“Not…” Fleck, I didn’t even want to voice i
t, in case this wasn’t true, in case I was imagining things. In case my hopes were smashed under the sharp bite of pain. “Not when you touch me.”
Her full lips parted, and her chest rose with a sharp spike. She flexed her wrist, and I let go immediately. Had I pushed her? Why had I assumed she wanted to touch me? “You don’t have to—”
Her fingers prodding my biceps cut me off.
I flinched, and she made a small sound. “Close,” she whispered as she pointed to her eyes.
“Close my eyes?” I didn’t like that. How would I be able to prepare myself for where she touched?
“Close,” she whispered again and then patted her chest. “Trust … me.”
Trust me. I could do that, couldn’t I? It’d been a long time since I trusted anyone but Rexor, Mikko, and Fenix. Still, this was Jennie, who’d been kind, gentle, and patient. She’d never once shied away in disgust from my scars or judged me for my reliance on Kixx.
With a nervous shudder, I closed my eyes. For a moment, I felt nothing, only the distant echo of pain in my limbs, covered by the small amount of Kixx in my body. Then light touches fluttered up my arm to my shoulder. There, her touch paused. “Pain?”
The wake of her touch was warm. No pain. I shook my head.
“Good,” she whispered, and kept going, across my collarbone to my neck. I swallowed and she tapped my Adam’s apple as she let out a puff of air I now knew as her giggle. I smiled and her hands froze.
I almost opened my eyes, concerned I’d done something wrong but then her touch continued. A tap on my chin. A slight scratch on my cheeks, and then the very slightest of a touch on my bottom lip.
This time I did open my eyes to find she’d shifted closer with her gaze on my mouth. Suddenly, my body felt much more than warmth. My libido, which had lain dormant all my life, flared to life in my lower gut with a spark.
Cock hardening, I could do nothing but stare as her fingers tugged gently at my lip. I’d never felt anything like this before. My blood heated, and my head spun with a giddy dizziness.
