by Portia Moore
His face goes from sympathetic to wide-eyed by the end, and he shakes his head. “I like your mom, Madison. But to keep you two away from your dad that’s pretty shitty.”
“I mean, I get it. She was really hurt. And she thought she was teaching us to be strong, cut men out who lie and cheat. I can see her reasoning, in the moment.” I’m surprised to hear myself defend her—after all, it was just a few hours ago that I never wanted to speak to her again. “But all this time. How am I supposed to forgive her, and then to think how I went about things with Robert. He probably thinks I’m nuts!” I laugh bitterly embarrassed now about how I handled the whole thing.
“What are you going to do?”
I shrug. “Let things cool down a little, I guess. Some space will help, hopefully. She’s my mom…I’m not going to just cut her out of my life, but I need some time to wrap my head around all of this.” He nods in understanding while rubbing my back.
“Does this change things about you reaching out to your dad?”
I let out a small sigh and nod.
It does, I say with a humorless laugh.
“I’m going to send him a message. Now that I know he didn’t just entirely abandon us…I’d like to know him if he’d like to know me. It just hurt so badly that he didn’t know which daughter I was, but how can I blame him after knowing he was kept away from us? He probably didn’t keep up with us because it hurt too much, knowing he couldn’t actually see us.”
“Just don’t let your walls down too fast,” Alex cautions. “I think this is a good decision, but get to know him before you jump in with both feet. Remember that although your mom may have been selfish in keeping you away, she knew him well, and she may have had more reason than you think.”
“Maybe.” I lean my head on one arm. “There’s only one way to find out, really.”
“Speaking of family,” Alex grimaces. “My mom invited us over for dinner tomorrow, as much as I know they want to see us I’m pretty sure it’s to get into Alyssa’s business.” He admits through a half groan.
I sigh and shrug. “Well, might as well get all of the family out of the way in one week.”
I love Alex’s parents—his mom and now that I know his step-dad, that is—but I’ve had enough of family gatherings to last me for a life time. Still, I make myself look presentable and pile into the car with Alex and Alyssa—who looks mildly annoyed at best—she’s quiet most of the car ride over but when we’re about ten minutes away she starts.
“You guys aren’t just going to let them shit on me right? You’ll back me up, let them know that my life isn’t a complete waste and I’m doing pretty good on my own?” she whines. I roll my eyes. She hasn’t exactly been doing things on her own. She lives off of Alex, squeezed a job out of his dad, and still only eats the food that we buy and cook.
“Of course, you’ve been doing great. We’ve got your back,” Alex promises her with one of his award-winning smiles. She smiles and the tension seems to leave her stiff body in the back seat.
The dogs greet us first, just as they did last time, along with the smell of a savory meat that I can’t put my finger on. John pulls me and Alex into big hugs and when he gets to Alyssa a soft smile rests on his face.
“Hey princess,” he tells her, giving her a kiss on the forehead before wrapping her into a tight embrace. I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy, the same one I felt when my friends complained about how overprotective their dads were or how they could get their dads to do anything they wanted them to. Kate comes out next with a wide smile and a flurry of excitement, giving us all hugs, but I do notice her body is more stiff and her tone is a little chilly when she hugs Alyssa. I exchange a glance with her and read the annoyance on her face. I say a silent prayer that tonight doesn’t end in disaster.
“Ebby and Maxy,” Alex says, wrestling the dogs playfully.
“You look really good Lis,” Kate says to Alyssa after she takes off her coat. She’s not dressed in low rise jeans and a crop top like she was when she waltzed into me and Alex’s apartment, but has on a soft pink button-up sweater and white high-waisted jeans.
“Thanks Mom,” Alyssa says quietly.
“Come on, let me show you guys the coffee table I’ve been working on!” John says excitedly, gesturing us to follow him. Kate huffs and playfully rolls her eyes.
“Your dad has been playing carpenter again,” she teases, but we all follow behind him and he leads us into the backyard. Alex follows us outside. The smell of dinner wafts through the open kitchen window, and it briefly seems idyllic.
“This is pretty cool Dad,” Alex says with his arm around my shoulder.
“Yeah it’s not a disaster like the tree house you tried to build us,” Alyssa jokes. John frowns and waves off their laughing.
“I think it’s great,” I say with a smile, coming to his defense playfully.
“Thank you Madison! At least someone appreciates my talent!” he says happily.
“Enough about this, let’s get to dinner,” Kate says, calling for us to follow her back in the house. We all sit down and Kate serves up pork chops, mashed potatoes, and salad with rolls. Everything smells so good. Once Kate is seated and John says grace, I smile at the warmness of it all. Taking in a family function that for once won’t result in dysfunction.
“Alex says your sister is about to walk down the aisle, Madison?” Kate asks, her bright blue eyes gleaming at me.
I laugh. “Yeah, her and my best friend Parker. It’s like something is in the air.”
“So three weddings for you! I’m still trying to find something presentable to wear to Tiffany’s.” She brings a bottle of wine to the table.
“I probably will recycle whatever outfit I wear. It’s starting to get really expensive,” I tell her, taking a sip of wine after she pours some for me.
“Will you be going to Tiffany’s wedding Alyssa?” John asks, his loving gaze falling on his youngest daughter.
“I don’t know. It depends on if I have a date or not,” Alyssa answers, picking at her salad.
“You don’t need a date to attend Tiffany’s wedding Lis, you girls practically grew up together.” Kate grimaces.
Alyssa lets out an irritated sigh. “You would say that Mom. You have Dad,” Alyssa counters. Kate rolls her eyes.
“What about that Ethan guy at work?” I suggest. I notice both Alex and John frown and it’s a little amusing. Alyssa, after all, is only four years younger than me yet the prospect of her having a guy she’s interested in still makes her father and brother tense.
“He’s nice I guess, he’s just not really my type. I’m more interested in a mature type of man,” she says with a secretive grin, and my heart clenches in my chest. Fuck me. I hope she isn’t talking about Jackson.
“Well Alyssa, the type of man you’re describing would prefer a woman who is established, educated, and not sleeping in her brother’s apartment with no clue of what she’s going to do with her life,” Kate says.
Oh shit!
I look at Kate and her eyes are focused on Alyssa. John drops his head and Alex lets out a long sigh.
“I knew you were going to do this, you just can’t help yourself. You don’t want me to be happy. If I’m not doing exactly what you want me to do I’m a failure,” Alyssa fires back. The hopes of having a nice quiet dinner have pretty much disintegrated. “You should support me instead of trying to force me into something that’s not right for me.”
“Alyssa, honey,” her dad begins, “we just want what’s best for you. We understand you want to do your art thing but it will just really help you in all aspects of life if you have a degree, and a business degree can help you run a studio later on if that’s really what you want to do when you finish…”
“It’s not an art thing, it’s my passion! Not a stupid hobby!” Her back is straight as a rod and her tone has sharpened like a dagger.
“I don’t want to get a business degree. Hell, I’m making good money in marketing right n
ow, while I’m not even in college! I don’t want to go back to those stupid classes. I want to do what makes me happy, while I’m young and not all bitter and old and boring as fuck!”
“Alyssa, please don’t curse at the dinner table,” her mother says tightly. “I know you think you know what you want to do, but opening your own business is really difficult, and…”
“Mom, Dad…Alyssa has been doing really well at Jackson’s company,” Alex pipes in, defending her as he promised.
“Jackson isn’t going to require of Lis what he would any other employee. He loves you and is still making up for what he did,” Kate huffs.
“You just don’t believe in me!” Alyssa shrieks. “This is so not fair! Alex doesn’t have some sell-out establishment career, he’s bartending and saving up to open his own business. Why aren’t you lecturing him about college degrees and how hard it is to be a start up? Or do you just love him more than you love me?”
I glue my eyes to my lap, but I’m annoyed that Alex stepped in to defend her and she’s throwing him under the bus.
“Alyssa, Alex got a degree,” her father says sternly. “He tried working a nine to five, and decided this was a better path for him, after he was educated and well-informed about his options. You’re young, and you haven’t attempted to finish college, and you haven’t given it enough of a try to know for sure. If you keep behaving this way, that’s your choice, but your mother and I can’t support this.”
“You’ve never supported anything that I’ve done!” she screams before storming out, leaving the four of us staring after her.
“She is doing pretty well, guys, and isn’t it better for her to take time off to figure out what she wants to do than waste your money while she figures it out?” Alex says diplomatically.
“The only thing we’ve ever required of either of you is to get an education. To not do that is a slap in the face,” Kate says stubbornly. Alex frowns.
“I get it, but you telling her she’s pretty much a failure because she didn’t is a slap in hers. It’s not like she’s swinging around a pole or selling drugs Mom,” Alex says with a shrug. Kate looks at John, whose face is blank.
“I’m just saying maybe you should cut her some slack. She has to live her own life, and she’s an adult, so maybe you should let her be one.”
“I’ll go try to talk to her,” I say finally, after a moment’s silence. It’s not lost on me as I walk out to the backyard that I’m in the spot Melissa was in yesterday, angry and feeling isolated. I feel sorry for Alyssa. I wasn’t a big fan of school but I had a dream that I knew a degree would be beneficial for. But she’s right. She’s making really good money now with Jackson and it doesn’t make sense for her to rack up student loans if she knows her heart isn’t in going to school.
Alyssa is sitting on the back porch steps sullenly, ripping a flower to shreds. “If you’re coming out here to tell me to go back in and apologize, I’m not going,” she says flatly. “I hate them.”
“No, you don’t,” I say calmly. “But I’m not out here to tell you that. Just to listen, if you want.” I’ve always hated Melissa lecturing me, so I’m hoping the opposite tactic will work with Alyssa.
“It’s not fair,” she huffs. “They always support Alex. Why can’t they support me? My dreams? What I want! I’m young, but I still know what I want. I don’t want to waste years of my life doing the thing I know I don’t want to do, just because it makes them happy. Alex did what they wanted and he was miserable. I just want to be who I am!”
“I get it, I do. But you have to understand they have the right to their opinions too. You’re their little girl and they only care so much because they love you.”
“It doesn’t feel like they love me,” Alyssa mutters. “It feels like they just want me to live out the life they don’t have, since they’re trapped in the boring, stupid suburbs.”
“All parents want their kids to have a better life than they did,” I tell her calmly. “It doesn’t mean they want to live vicariously through you. Just that they want to try to keep you from having to struggle as much as they did.” I think of my mother, briefly, as I talk to Alyssa. I’m still angry at her for what she did, for keeping me and Melissa from our father—but he hurt her and I know she was afraid he would do the same to us, abandon us when it got hard maybe. I can’t bring myself to forgive her yet, but there’s a spark of realization there, that she was trying to protect us from the same pain.
“It doesn’t matter what I say.” Alyssa looks away. “They always say the same thing.”
“Have you tried changing your tactic?”
“What do you mean?” She narrows her eyes at me, frowning.
“I mean, if you want them to treat you like an adult who can make her own decisions, then you need to talk to them like one. Calmly. Reasonably. Try that, and maybe the outcome will be different.”
Alyssa rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
“See? That’s what I mean. They’re not going to respond well to that. Just try it. What do you have to lose?”
“My dignity,” she mutters, but she stands up, dusting off her jeans. “Fine. I’ll try it your way and you can see how unreasonable they are yourself.”
The air around the table is tense as we sit back down. “Well?” Kate asks Alyssa, her lips pursed. “Have you had a chance to calm down?”
I can see Alyssa’s shoulders tense, ready to snap back at her mom, but then she sits back in her chair, her face smoothing.
I have to give her props. I know it takes a hell of a lot to rein in emotion like that.
“Yes,” Alyssa says evenly. “And I want to talk about this—really talk about it. Being an artist and having a studio of my own is my dream. It’s been my dream for as long as I can remember—and I know you’re going to say I’m still so young, and that isn’t much time at all, but kids change a lot. I never did, not when it came to that. This is my choice. If it crashes and burns then I’ll say you were right, but I deserve the chance to try and make my own life what I want it to be. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make that happen. I know you love me and all of this is just you talking with my best interests in mind, but I know what I want. This is what I want to do, and”—she takes a deep breath, lifting her chin slightly—“I would really appreciate your support.”
I can see Alex smiling at his sister—he’s clearly proud of her. I am too; it’s the most mature argument we’ve heard from Alyssa.
“Well,” John says, putting down his napkin, “I think that was a very mature argument. Don’t you think so, Kate?” He glances at his wife, who still looks concerned. But she nods, reaching out for her daughter’s hand. “We love you, Alyssa,” she says. “Like you said, we just want the best for you. But maybe you’re right, and our best isn’t the same as yours.”
“We want you to be successful,” John chimes in. “And if you really believe that you can, and want, to be successful doing this, then we’ll be supportive. As much as we’re able.”
Alyssa looks suspicious. “So that means I don’t have to go back to college?”
John laughs. “No, not right now. But I—and I think your mother would agree—would like it if you would consider it later, if you start to struggle on this career path or aren’t enjoying it as much as you think. We’re not forcing you, we just want you to keep an open mind.”
“You can be stubborn, honey,” Kate says gently. “Just like your brother.”
Alex frowns at that, but it’s good-natured and a smile comes to my face as well.
“I will,” Alyssa promises.
It’s not until we’re sitting in the living room eating cupcakes that Kate baked, while the television hums softly in the background, that the topic of Jackson comes up. Kate looks a little anxious as she asks Alyssa how the new job is going.
“Do you like it? After all, it’s not exactly artistic…”
Alyssa shrugs. “It’s alright. I don’t mind it—I’m good at it, even if it’s not what I want
to do forever. And it makes me plenty of money, which will help set me up later.”
“There’s the levelheaded daughter I knew I raised somewhere in there,” John says, laughing as Alyssa shoots him a dirty look.
“And Jackson as a boss?”
I can’t help but tense up at the sound of his name. I’d hoped we could get through the rest of the night without talking about him, but I guess with Alyssa working at Scully Realty, there really is no way around it.
Alyssa takes the last bite of her chocolate cupcake and shifts in her chair, glancing over at her mother. “Mom…what happened with you and Jackson, exactly?”
It’s a strange question for her to ask. If anyone, I’d have thought it’d be Alex, but I guess he already knows. Though it freaks me out that Alyssa is so interested in their history.
Kate glances over at her husband, who shrugs. “It’s all water under the bridge to me,” John says. “I’m the one she married.” He throws Kate a flirtatious grin, and I can’t help but reach for Alex’s hand, threading my fingers through his. I can see a future that I want for us there—middle-aged, still in love, bantering playfully while sitting with our children. It’s a future we could have.
“Well…” Kate says slowly. “We were really young. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been strict with you kids, because I know the choices you tend to make when you’re young. Not that it was totally a mistake—I got Alex out of it, after all.” She smiles at her son. “But I was too young to be a mother.”
“How did you meet?” Alyssa asks, attempting to sound only half interested, but of course that’s not true or the question wouldn’t have been asked in the first place.
“I worked at a country club,” Kate says, looking at Alyssa. “I was a waitress, and sometimes I tended bar. Now you know where Alex gets it from.” She winks at him and he laughs.
“Sure, Mom. Keep telling yourself that.”
“Anyway,” she continues, “I had no idea who Jackson was, or that he was rich, or who his parents were. He just came in one day, asked for a drink, and the chemistry was there. We…didn’t do a whole lot of talking.”
