by Portia Moore
“No no no!” Tiffany shrieks.
Oh fuck, why did I just do that?
“Madison!” Parker shrieks but looks unsurprised. Alyssa is laughing her ass off but there’s nothing funny about this. I can’t believe I just did that! The last thing I wanted to do was ruin Tiffany’s bachelorette party. I shouldn’t have let her get to me. But all I can see now in my head are visions of Holly in red lace lingerie, with Alex’s face between her legs.
“You both need to go,” Tiffany says in a choked voice. “Holly and Madison, both of you. Go home.”
“Tiffany it’s not my fault…” Holly sputters. “She…it was…”
“I don’t care whose fault it was. Just go!” Tiffany repeats.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I pass her, but she doesn’t look at me.
Honestly, I don’t blame her.
18
Alex is home when Parker, Alyssa, and I get back. I see him sitting on the couch when we walk in the door and stop short, startled. I quickly wipe at my face—I’m drunk and upset. I started crying in the Uber on the way home. The moment he sees me he immediately stands up.
“What happened?” he asks, crossing the room to me. He looks at Alyssa and Parker, and then back at me. “I thought you were staying the night at Tiffany’s? What’s going on?”
“I thought you were working late tonight.” I sniffle.
“The party ended early.” He frowns. “Madison, what’s going on?”
“One of the girls started a game of ‘never have I ever’,” Parker says dryly. “Holly was…especially forthcoming.”
Alyssa has already slunk away to her room, clearly not wanting to be any part of this. Alex looks down at me. “Madison, what did she say?”
“I don’t want to go into it,” I say stiffly. “I’m already trying not to think about the two of you doing all of the things she talked about.”
Alex runs his hands through his hair. “Madison, you can’t let that get to you, that was all in the past.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I mumble, but I still can’t meet his eyes.
Alex sighs. “Parker, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” She glances at me. “Madison, maybe sit down?”
I take a seat on the couch as Alex and Parker go to the other side of the room, and I can hear them talking quietly. I’m sure Parker is telling Alex all of the things Holly said—fine. I just don’t want to repeat them.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hear Alex say, and he crosses the room to sit next to me, shaking his head. “Madison, I’m so sorry. …”
“I don’t care,” I say tiredly, although I very much do care. I just don’t want to talk about it. After all, it’s not like I have a squeaky clean past. I’m pretty sure fucking Alex’s dad beats whatever shit he and Holly did in their marital bed.
“I’m going to call her,” he says decisively. “I’m going to make her fucking apologize to you…”
“Don’t,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t want any more of this family drama, okay Alex? I’ve just had enough of it.” He looks at me slightly confused, and I guess he would be since he has no idea what all family drama I’m talking about. But he nods compromisingly.
But right now I’m drunk, and exhausted, and I want to go to bed. “I really need to take off my makeup, and sleep,” I say. “Just forget about it, okay? I don’t want to have to deal with her again.”
Alex looks like he wants to argue, but Parker comes around just then and gives him a pointed look.
“I…I feel like I’m going to throw up,” I say weakly, and Parker wraps an arm around my waist. “To the bathroom you go,” she says cheerfully.
She holds my hair while I puke, and helps me into the shower, fishing out a t-shirt for me to put on once I get out. Once I’m makeup-free and squeaky clean, she tucks me into bed. “Good as new,” she says brightly. “I’ll go get Alex.”
I’m already half-asleep by the time he comes in. He doesn’t say anything, just crawls in bed next to me and puts his arm around me, sighing quietly as he watches me. I want to apologize for all of it—but I don’t really feel that it’s all my fault, and I’m too exhausted. All I can do is fall asleep, and hope the morning is better.
Alex is a much bigger man than I was a woman last night. He takes me and Parker out to brunch, and Parker and I spend the rest of the day getting manicures and doing some shopping. I don’t hear from Tiffany, and I’m too embarrassed to call her myself. But the time with Parker does me good, and by the time I drop her off at her condo, I’ve stopped thinking about the incident so much even though I still feel like a huge bitch. Alyssa is quiet, too, once I’m back home. I don’t know if she’s forgotten due to drinking too much, or if Alex told her to not bring up anything—but whatever the reason, I’m glad everyone seems to have dropped it.
I go to work the next morning feeling, if not exactly refreshed, at least less upset than I did before. I wonder a little if Jackson heard anything about it, but I don’t see him once I’m at the office. I don’t look for him either, instead putting my head down and focusing on getting through my to-do list for the day.
It’s almost lunchtime when Alex calls me. I answer immediately, wondering if he wants to meet me to get some food. There is an Italian place we both like really close to the office.
“Hey, babe,” I say cheerfully. “What are you doing? Want to grab lunch with me, handsome?”
“Madison…I have something to tell you.” His voice is grave, and my heart sinks. I wonder if Holly said something else, or if Tiffany has decided to uninvite me from her wedding, in which case I don’t know what Alex would do. I’d tell him to go still, but he’s stubborn.
“Madison?”
“Sorry! I was distracted. What’s going on, Alex? Did something happen?”
“Kristen called,” he says grimly. “She wants to meet up with you. Something happened with your dad, Madison. He was…he was in an accident.”
I feel all the blood drain out of my face. “What?” I gasp. “Did she say anything else? Is he okay?”
“He’s stable,” Alex says calmly. “I know the two of you don’t get along, but you should at least call her.”
I try to steady myself and nod.
“I will. I’ll let you know what she says.”
“Do you need me to come to you?” he asks urgently.
“No. I’ll be fine, it’s okay.” I tell him stoically.
“Are you sure?” Alex sighs. “Yeah. I’ll call you once I know more. I love you.” “It’ll be okay, Madison.”
“I love you too,” he whispers into the phone, and then I hang up.
For a moment, I can’t move. My father…in an accident and a wave of unexpected emotion rises. The last time I talked to him he wasn’t sure which of his daughters I was…but there’s also everything my mother told me since the last time, too. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do, or how I wanted to move forward—if I did anything at all. But knowing he’s been in an accident and could have died has sent me into a state of shock
I don’t trust myself to talk to Kristen on the phone yet, so instead I text the number Alex sent me that she called from. She answers in a matter of seconds, and we arrange to meet at a café near the catering company’s main office, which is only a few blocks away from Scully Realty.
I turn off my computer and head to find my supervisor to let her know I’ve had a family emergency and have to leave early. No sooner have I turned the corner, I run almost headfirst into Jackson.
“Madison!” he says stoically but then he peers at me, taking a closer look at my flushed face and misty eyes. “Madison, are you okay?”
“I…” I start to just tell him that I’m leaving early for the day, but I hear my voice tremble and cut it off. I’m dangerously close to crying, and that’s the last thing I want to do in the middle of the office.
“Come here.” He pulls me quickly into his office and turns to look at me, his brow creased. “Did something happen? Is it Alex?�
��
I draw in a shuddering breath, shaking my head. “No, it’s…it’s my dad. He’s been in an accident, he’s stable but…”
“Oh, Madison.” Jackson’s eyes widen. “I thought you and your dad were estranged.”
“We still are sort of…a lot has happened.” I feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks, to my horror.
“Oh,” Jackson whispers. “Madison, I’m so sorry.” He shakes his head. “If he’s stable, that’s good news. But take all the time you need. Your job will be here once all that’s resolved. I’ll keep your father in my thoughts.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice still shaky. “I should get going.”
“Let me know if you need anything at all, Madison. I mean it.” He looks at me sympathetically and stands up, reaching out to hug me. Against my better judgement, I let him.
His cologne fills my nose, a scent that is so familiar and shouldn’t be. His arms are solid and warm, comforting, and as he wraps them around me, it’s so easy for me to remember a time long before this, when I had loved the feeling of this.
When I had loved him.
When I hadn’t known he was a cheater, hadn’t known that he was married. A time when I had thought he could actually be mine, that I’d won some insane lottery that night when he locked eyes with me and we wound up back in his hotel room.
He pulls back slightly and…our eyes lock. Just like that night. I’m already emotional, and my defenses are all down. I see his eyes flick to my lips, and for a second I think he’s going to kiss me. His hands are still on my waist, the door closed behind us, and I can picture exactly how it would go—him drawing me that one step closer to him, his head bending to press his warm mouth against mine. I know what it would feel like.
He’ll taste like wintergreen mints, like always.
In another second he’ll do it, and I try to gather the strength to pull away to say no. Before I can make the decision, before I can push him away like I should, the door flies open and Alyssa barges in.
“Madison?” she asks, her voice high and worried, and then I see her freeze in place as she catches sight of us, standing way too close, Jackson’s hands still resting on my waist. He drops them immediately, taking a step back, and I’m pretty sure that might have actually made things worse.
Now we look guilty.
Are we guilty?
At least he wasn’t kissing me when Alyssa burst in.
Fuck!
She looks at me, and then him, and without a word spins on her heel and runs out of the office.
“Shit,” Jackson says, running a hand through his hair.
My words exactly. “I’ll take care of it,” I say quickly. “Just…I’ll let you know when I’m coming back to the office. Once I find out what’s going on with my dad.”
“Of course.” Jackson nods at me, but I don’t wait for him to say anything else. I have to catch Alyssa before things spiral out of control.
I catch up to her quickly. “Alyssa, that…what you saw…it’s not what it looks like. My dad is in the hospital, and I was just telling Jackson that I have to leave early and he gave me a hug to comfort me…” I trip over some of my words, and I know I sound awkward as hell.
Alyssa shrugs. “It’s no big deal,” she says casually, as if nothing she saw looked out of place at all.
I bite my lower lip. “What are you going to tell Alex?”
Alyssa raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I didn’t see anything to tell.”
For a moment I hesitate, but she sounds genuine, like she really means it. There’s no hint of sarcasm or malice in her voice that I can hear. Maybe she really does believe me.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I know it’s Kristen. I know I should stay here and try to do damage control but I have to get to Kristen too, before she changes her mind.
“I hope everything is okay,” Alyssa says, looking worried as she chews on her lower lip.
“Thanks. Me too,” I say grimly as I turn away and head out of the office, pulling my phone out of my pocket.
Me too.
19
Kristen is already waiting at the café when I arrive. Her face looks anxious, not angry like the last time I saw her, and I have a faint hope that maybe we’ll be able to at least be civil with each other, that she hasn’t called me here to take out all her anger about what happened on me.
“Hi,” I say tentatively as I walk in and sit down at the table next to the window where she’s fiddling with her phone, chewing on her lower lip as she waits on me.
“Hi.” Her voice is tense, but she looks up at me, her eyes clouded with worry. “Dad’s hurt.”
“I know.”
“Look, I know we don’t really get along, but…”
“Yeah, I wonder why.” Kristen frowns. “You popped up on our doorstep, with no warning, upset my mother, caused a huge fight in our family, and then Alex hauled you off and you disappeared. Just dropped in, disrupted everything, and then left.” She purses her lips. “What was Alex doing there with you, anyway?”
“I’m dating him,” I say crossly. “He was there with me for my sister’s engagement party.” I let out a long sigh. Evidently we’re going to do this now, despite having more important things to talk about. “You know we’re together.”
She looks as if she’s tasted something bad. “I mean, I know he fucked you. But serious about you, really? I mean, look at him.”
I glare at her. “Don’t we have better things to talk about? More important things? Alex is perfectly happy, trust me.”
Kristen runs a hand through her long hair, letting out a sigh. “Fine. Look…I figured you had a right to know. My mom wouldn’t have called you. And…well…I kind of need someone with me right now. Someone who cares about him as much as I do. And if you’d show up on our doorstep willing to look like a freaking lunatic, then I guess maybe you do.”
“Yeah, I care.” But I’m not about to get into old family history with Kristen.
“I’m leaving for Chicago now, to go see him. Come with me? If you’d like to.”
I swallow hard. I want to but all of this is happening so fast, is this the right time? But I feel like if I don’t take this olive branch, it’ll all go up in flames.
“Okay,” I tell her and I’m surprised when she looks slightly relieved.
I don’t pack anything, I go with the clothes on my back and decide to buy a few things if I need them. I don’t even know how long I’ll be there.
Not only am I about to fly to Chicago again, with a girl I barely know and definitely don’t like, but I’m going to see my dad again in a few hours. Everyone so far has said he’s stable and should be fine, but just the thought that something could have happened to him and I would never have been able to speak to him again is making my chest feel tight, like it’s hard to breathe. I should have gotten in touch with him as soon as my mom told me the truth.
Kristen is quiet for the first part of the flight. Finally, when the tension between us feels like too much to bear anymore, I look over at her.
“Kristen, listen,” I say calmly. We’re trapped on this plane together for another hour, so she’s going to have to hear me out. “Look, I just want to get to know my dad, especially now that I realize how close I could have come to losing him. I’m not going to disrupt your family or start hanging out there all the time or come, I don’t know, crash your Christmas Eve. I just want to know him, since I didn’t know him for so long. It’s not even really any of your business, but I think you should know that.”
She looks at me, her eyes narrowed. “Actually it is my business, since I had no idea that I even had a sister... I mean, half-sister,” she quickly corrects as she rolls her eyes.
We’re silent for several long minutes. Finally, Kristen lets out a long sigh. “Yeah, you’re right, of course it’s your business. Look, I feel guilty about it. I have ever since you showed up and I found out about all of this. We got your dad, and you missed out on a bunch of time wit
h him. Which sucks, because he was a good dad. You deserved that time.”
“Wow.” I don’t really know what to say. “That means a lot.”
“Don’t get all mushy.” She waves a hand. “We’re not about to start having sister brunches on the weekends or anything. But I’m not going to make this a problem, and maybe…maybe we can get along. I was jealous, too. Of you and Alex. But you have a much bigger thing to be jealous of. And I get that.”
“I really appreciate it.” I glance over at her with a slight smile. “I know we’re not about to become best buddies or anything. But it is good to have someone with me for this. And I’ll try to be there for you, too.”
Seeing my father in a hospital bed is a bigger shock than I could have imagined. I hover in the doorway for a moment, afraid to go any closer. He’s not a small man, but the bed seems to swallow him. He hears the footsteps and looks up, and the look on his face is enough to propel me forward as he smiles at me. “Hey Madison,” he says quietly.
“Hi.” I walk cautiously towards the edge of the bed.
“Dad I’m going to go grab a coffee, okay?” Kristen tells him and he gives her a brilliant smile. I look back at her and nod, grateful. I know she’s giving me some time with him, and I appreciate it.
“See, I remembered this time,” he jokes, and I manage a small laugh.
“Are you okay?” I hear my voice cracking again, and I try to fight back a fresh wave of tears. I didn’t expect to be so emotional.
“As good as I can be,” he says, smiling wryly. “But I’m not going to die, if that’s what you’re asking. A couple broken ribs and bumps and bruises, but I’ll be out of here in no time.”
“What happened?”
“A car accident. Just your standard idiot running a red light.” He pats my hand as I sit down on the edge of the bed. “It’s going to take more than that to take your old man out.” He pauses, the awkwardness of his wording glaring. “I didn’t mean…I’m glad to see you. I didn’t know if you would come, if you found out about it. Kristen said she was going to tell you, but I…well, I didn’t know you’d care, especially after what happened last time…”
