by Rebel Hart
She could go back to the light, and I could retreat back into the dark.
“You’re an idiot, Max,” I murmured to myself.
That had been my mantra all fucking morning. What an idiot I was being. How stupid this was becoming. She was just some girl. Some college girl who didn’t know shit about the world. To many people, I lived an exciting life. What did I want with some girl who didn't even know how to kiss?
That was the beauty of her, though. That was the meat of it all. She didn’t know about these things. She still saw the world through rose-colored lenses. If she was lucky, she would forever. She’d see this place as good. She’d see people as good.
She wouldn't become like me, if she was lucky.
As I crossed through a random grove of trees, I came to the back of Dani’s dorm building. Well, I still had a ways to walk. But it was there. I grinned as I started up the hill. Every step I took brought me closer to her. I felt myself picking up the pace, moving faster and faster until the only thing I focused on was that damn back entrance.
Into the stairwell that took me all the way to the top.
“Hey! I just want to talk!”
“Leave me alone!”
My head whipped to the left as Benji’s voice sailed along the wind that had kicked up. But it wasn’t Benji’s voice that kept my eyes searching the grounds. It was the voice that came after. The high-pitched, panicked voice of the person that answered.
Dani.
I diverted my path and headed toward the voices. People knocked into me and fell to the grass, cursing my existence and shooting profanities my way. And while I usually stopped to pay them a bit of attention with my snarl, I didn’t dare stop.
Dani sounded scared.
And I wanted to know what the fuck Benji had to do with that.
“Wait up, Bambi! Can’t we just have a chat?”
“Keep your hands off me, you jerk!”
My eyes widened. My back bristled. Hands. He put his hands on her? I broke into a dead sprint as I crested the hill. I turned around, trying to figure out where the two of them were. I panted for air. My nostrils flared with anger. My blood bubbled in my veins as my vision dripped red.
No one touched Dani.
No one touched what was mine.
After searching the space around me, I gazed down the hill. I saw a girl rushing steadily up it with a backpack slung over her shoulder. I took a step forward and studied her. The way she hunched over, wiping at her face. The way she tried to make herself as small as possible while her towel hung out of her backpack. The hair gave her away, though. That soaking wet, almost-black hair that swung with every step she took.
Is she crying?
“I swear to fuck, if you don’t stop--!”
“Leave me alone,” she said breathlessly.
My skull pounded with anger. The second I heard her sniffle, my world exploded with fury. I watched Dani come up the hill, knowing that if I intervened before I could get my anger in check, I’d kill him. I’d kill my own damn cousin for this girl.
You're in deep shit, Max.
Benji burst into a full-blown run, racing to catch up with her. He had his eyes locked on her, coming for her as quickly as his feet would let him. When I saw the glistening of her tears from the corner in which I stood, I came out and reached for her, cradling her elbow in the palm of my hand.
“Dani, it’s me.”
“Just stop touching me, Benji!”
The way she jerked away from me made me sick. But what she said confirmed my suspicions.
“Max?” she asked breathlessly.
“Bambi, when I ask you to do something, you--”
I saw Benji’s hand come out of nowhere, ready to touch down against her shoulder. Oh, hell no. Did he not realize I was standing right here? Was he that thick-headed? My hand moved at the speed of light, slapping around his wrist and yanking him away from her. I pulled him to my face, standing him on his fucking tiptoes as my free hand fisted his leather jacket.
“Hey! Max! Uh… you mind putting me down?”
Dani sniffled, and I had to draw in a few deep breaths to keep from strangling the kid.
“Want to tell me why she’s crying and trying to get away from you?”
He snickered. “You serious right now?”
She drew in a shuddered breath. “He cornered me in the pool.”
Benji scoffed. “I’m not even wet.”
She interjected. “He wrapped his arm around my waist and physically pulled me out of the pool. I tried to get away from him at the shallow end--”
“Wow, you’ve really got a mouth on you, Bambi.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t you call her that.”
I tossed him to the ground, sending him sprawled out on his back. Right on his fucking ass. I took a step and straddled him, looming over him as my body blocked out the afternoon sun.
“He’s not worth it, Max. Really. I’m okay.”
Her sweet voice was the only thing keeping me on my fucking leash.
“What the fuck, Max? Are you serious?”
Benji’s growl infuriated me. “Is he bothering you, Dani?”
He chuckled. “Oh, so she’s ‘Dani’ now? When the hell did that happen?”
I pointed at him. “Stay there, or you’re done. You hear me?”
I peered over my shoulder at Dani and saw her still wiping at her face.
“Is he bothering you, Dani?”
She swallowed hard before she nodded. The damn girl couldn't even catch her breath enough to speak to me again. Her chest jumped with soft sobs, and I had no clue what to do. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to strangle Benji until his eyes popped out. I wanted to hang him up under a bridge for all the world to see as a warning.
This is what happens when someone messes with what is mine.
“Fucking hell, my goddamn back. Dude, have you lost your shit or something?”
Benji went to get up, but I pressed my boot against his chest, pushing him back down to the concrete.
“Let me the fuck up. Right now.”
I licked my lips. “You’re going to stay the hell away from her from here on out. You hear me?”
He shoved my foot away. “Fuck you.”
I reached down and fisted his shirt as people gasped around me.
“Max, please,” Dani pleaded.
Benji wrapped his hands around my forearm. “Your brother’s going to hear about his.”
I glared at him. “She’s off limits. Understand?”
He glared right back. “We have classes together. The fuck do you want me to do about that?”
I seethed. “Sit in the back row.”
I dropped him to his feet before backing up and standing next to Dani. Shading her from the prying eyes that were wondering what the hell was going on.
“Fuck you, Max.”
I cocked my head. “Want to try that again?”
Benji snickered. “No, actually. I don’t. She’s just some college chick. Some slice of pussy you'll get before dumping her, like you do every other girl. But, me, I’m fucking family. I’m your crew. I’m your flesh and blood. You’re going to choose a bitch over me?”
“Max!”
I didn’t even register the movement until it was too late. Dani yelling my name was the last thing I heard before I felt something warm against my knuckles. It seemed like I blinked, and then Benji was down. In the blink of an eye, my fist had connected with his nose and put him on his fucking back again. Blood dripped down the sides of his face. I looked at my hand and registered the blood splattered against my knuckles. People around us gasped. I looked back at Dani and watched her eyes widen with shock and fear, her hands covering her mouth.
“So that how it’s gonna be?”
I panned my head back around and watched my cousin peel himself off the concrete.
“You and this girl, against everyone else?”
I lowered my fist. “You leave her alone for good. Got it?”
/> He spat blood at my feet. “Fuck you and your morals. Dumbass piece of shit.”
I lunged at him, but I felt a pair of hands grip my leather jacket. I heard her shuddering breaths as I turned around, knowing damn good and well who was holding me back. Her hands fell away from my jacket. I heard Benji cursing to himself and storming off as the crowd quickly dissipated. And as I gazed into Dani’s frightened eyes, I sighed.
“I’m sorry.”
The shock was evident on her face as her hands slipped to her sides.
“It’s--it’s okay. I--Thank you.”
I nodded. “Anytime.”
She furrowed her brow. “What are you doing here? It’s, like, four in the afternoon.”
I chuckled. “Think I only dwell at night, Bambi?”
She smiled softly for me. “Maybe.”
My eyes slid down her body. “Did he hurt you?”
“What do you mean?”
My eyes snapped back to hers. “If you have to quantify the statement, you might as well tell me what he did.”
She grinned. “Quantify. Big word for Fistman.”
I paused. “Fistman?”
“It’s either that or Buckaroo.”
“I’ve grown partial to Buckaroo.”
She smiled. “Then that’s a big word for you, Buckaroo.”
“Just because I don’t use them doesn’t mean I don’t know them.”
“Seems I still have a lot to learn about you.”
I nodded. “Right after you tell me whether or not Benji hurt you.”
And when her face fell, I braced for the worst.
Because if he had hurt her, my morals were clear. An eye for an eye. That’s how I lived my life. If someone hurt me, I hurt them. If someone stole from me, I stole from them. If someone killed someone I loved, I gave them that fate right back. That’s how the Red Thorns operated. ‘Rogues in Arms.’ Taking up swords and guns and war for those who couldn't fight themselves. Exacting revenge as we saw fit, making money as we could, and making sure this world always stayed at an even keel around us.
If Benji had hurt her, he’d suffer the same fate. Something I needed to prepare myself for.
I held my breath as her lips parted to speak.
27
Dani
“No, he didn’t hurt me. He just scared me.”
I watched relief flood Max’s face as he sighed so heavily I thought he might’ve been holding his breath.
“I’m sorry,” Max said again.
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault.”
“He’s my responsibility.”
“He’s not a child. He’s his own responsibility.”
He snickered. “You don’t understand.”
I cleared my throat as my heart winced. Was it possible for hearts to wince? I wasn’t sure, but that’s what it felt like. The struggled beat that finally rang through my body caused me to grow dizzy. His words stung because, well, he was right. I didn’t understand. Max and I came from two very different worlds. Two very different walks of life. I couldn't even begin to understand what reality looked like through his eyes. What kinds of pressures he had on his shoulders. For all I knew, nothing was the same between us.
“Well, uh, thank you. Again.”
Max drew in a short breath. “What happened?”
I shook my head. “I really don’t--”
He took my hand in his. “What happened, Dani?”
My entire body stopped. Dani? I was ‘Dani’ now? Why did that feel like such an accomplishment? Why did it have to be an accomplishment with him? His eyes held mine as I drew in a heavy breath. The weight of the world seemed so much sometimes. And yet the stroke of his finger against the top of my hand somehow made it better. Made it easier to carry.
I wondered if I made him feel that way, too.
“I uh, headed to the pool after my last class. Just needed a nice swim. To clear my head.”
Max nodded. “I get that.”
“You do?”
He grinned. “Sounds like me and a good ride.”
I smiled up at him. “Yeah. About like that.”
“So, what? Benji found you in the pool?”
“Well, I ran into him on my way to the pool. I was practically running there.”
“Why?”
To get away from my mind. “To try and just… wash myself.”
I figured he’d question me. Implore for more of an answer. But his eyes filled with understanding. As if we were standing on the same plane.
And I felt like his equal again.
“Anyway, he kind of tried to stop me from going to the pool.”
He furrowed his brow. “How so?”
“Max…”
His voice grew curt. “How so, Dani?”
I shook my head. “You aren’t going to like this.”
“I already don’t like it. But I want to know what my cousin did to you.”
“So you’re cousins.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Just learning more about you, that’s all.”
He licked his lips. “What did he do to try and stop you?”
“He was so insistent on talking to me. He said--”
I wasn’t sure if this was something Max needed to know. But I knew I’d already said too much.
“Dani.”
I shook my head. “Sorry. He just--he thinks I distract you, and he doesn’t know why. I guess because I’m not like most girls you’re usually with? I don’t know. I tried to step around him and he grabbed my arm to prevent me from leaving and--ouch!”
Max dropped my hand. “I’m sorry. Shit.”
I shook my hand. “No, no. It’s okay. It’s--it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. Not if you get hurt. I hurt you.”
He ran his hands through my hair and turned his back to me.
“Max, look at me.”
He shook his head.
“Max, come on.”
He shook his head again.
“Don’t make me bust out the big guns, Buckaroo.”
He snickered. “Now I’m curious to know your big guns.”
I balled up my fist and punched him in the butt cheek. Before I could even think, my knuckles connected with his butt. And holy crap, it was rock solid. He whipped around with surprise in his face and I shook out my hand, murmuring ‘ouch’ underneath my breath. He took my hand back in his and massaged it softly, trying his hardest to swallow down his laughter.
“That uh… those the big guns?”
I snorted. “I hate you.”
He smiled. “I really don’t think you do.”
I sighed at the beauty of his smile before I stepped closer.
“Why don’t you smile often?”
It fell from his face. “Don’t have much to smile about, I guess.”
“What makes you smile?”
“You do.”
I blushed. “What really makes you smile?”
“You punching my ass does.”
I giggled. “You’re a jerk.”
“And you’re the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
I felt my blush work down my neck. “After I was done swimming laps, he was there. Benji. I tried to get out, but he--”
“He won’t bother you again. You have my word.”
I paused. “Don’t you want to know what--”
“Not at the expense of hurting you, no. All I ask is that if he does mess with you ever again, you need to tell me. All right?”
I nodded. “All right.”
The wind kicked up and something cold on the edge of my eyelash made my eyes water again. Max’s hand came up to me, wiping away the tears still clinging to them. I sniffled again as his hand cupped my cheek. Another tear worked its way down. Then another. And another still. Only, they weren’t tears of sorrow.
Nevertheless, it didn’t stop Max from brushing them away, erasing their existence as his warmth kept me company.
“Let me make it up to
you.”
I paused. “What?”
“Today. The pool. My cousin’s assholery. Let me make it up to you.”
“I--you--how?”
He grinned. “Got any more classes today?”
I shook my head. “Not until the morning.”
“Great. Let’s drop your things off and take a ride.”
“Max, you don’t have to--”
“Come on, Bambi. We’re burning daylight.”
He tugged me softly toward my dorm entrance and the two of us walked up. We took the back stairwell, keeping in step with one another until we got to the top. It didn’t shock me one bit that Hannah wasn’t in the room. Part of me was relieved. The last thing I needed was her questioning why I was randomly with Max. Nor did I want her flirting with him.
That idea made my lips turn down.
“Can I get out of my bathing suit first?” I asked.
“You didn’t change out of it?”
I paused. “I didn’t really get a chance to.”
His nostrils flared. “You do whatever you need to. I’ll be right outside the door.”
I nodded. “I won’t take long.”
The second he closed the door, I jumped around. Taking off my wet clothes was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Especially when I went to wiggle out of my suit. I tossed everything into my hamper. I knew it would grow musty overnight, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was piling my hair on top of my head, putting on some fresh clothes, and going anywhere and everywhere with Max. I pulled a pair of my comfy jeans up my legs, opting for a long-sleeved shirt since my hair was still wet. After sliding on a bit of lip gloss and dusting on some blush like Hannah had shown me, I smiled at myself in the mirror.
Then I opened the door.
“Ready?”
Max’s eyes fell to my jeans, but the look he gave me wasn’t one I’d ever seen in the movies. I mean, I didn't expect to sweep the man off his feet or anything. But did he really have to look so put-off by them?
“How long have you had those?” he asked.
I paused. “Uh, since high school?”
“What year in high school?”
“Do they look bad or something?”
He slowly shook his head. “They’re just… loose.”
I smiled. “That’s what makes them comfortable.”
