“You’re crazy. I’m at least thirty pounds overweight, maybe forty depending upon how you read those charts.”
“I’m not looking at a chart. I’m looking at you.” Scott was looking at her with desire so unmistakable that even she couldn’t pretend it away. His eyes lowered from her face to her chest, unimpressive beneath shapeless scrubs and an even more shapeless sports bra provided by her captors. Still, his look intensified. “Those breasts are not on a chart.”
Madison didn’t even try to speak this time. He almost made her believe it. Where was a bag of chocolate when she needed one?
“You’re beautiful,” Scott repeated. Then he bent his head to kiss her.
* * *
Scott had reached the point of no return. He couldn’t stand her vulnerability or her obvious need for comfort. He shouldn’t have kissed her, but he’d had no choice. And when she melted beneath him, surrendering totally, he had no choice but to deepen the kiss.
He felt as if his entire life had been leading up to this moment, however it had come about. Or at least the last two years, since his first glimpse of her. He had tried to keep his distance. God only knew how hard he had tried, knowing he frightened her, knowing he didn’t deserve her.
But the past days had been trying in so many ways, and all their barriers had come down. She no longer flinched away from his touch, and he found himself wondering if maybe, just maybe, he could find a way to be the man she deserved.
After all, he loved her.
Scott pulled his head back for a moment, staring at her slightly dazed expression and kiss-swollen lips. He could smell her arousal, stronger and sweeter than ever before. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but for how long? This was here and now, but what would happen when they escaped? He wanted forever. He couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting her go.
“Don’t do this unless you mean it,” Scott said raggedly, knowing it was already too late for him if she said no.
She shook her head slightly, either in negation or because she didn’t understand.
“I won’t let you go after this,” Scott said. “I can’t.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Hell no.”
She licked her lips nervously. “Then please. Don’t stop. I think I may need you right now.”
He knew exactly what she meant. He felt the same way. Needed her. He might be able to go without food or water if he could just hold her.
They found the bed together, falling on it in a tangle of arms and legs. Scott made sure not to land on her, not to hurt her more than he already had. He could see the red marks on her arms where he’d held her too tightly. She’d end up with bruises in the morning. She bruised easily.
He bent down to kiss every place where his fingers had dug into her skin, as if he could soothe away the pain. She giggled when he kissed one spot on the soft underside of her arm that was a bit ticklish, at which point he took ruthless advantage of his discovery until she was gasping for both breath and for mercy.
At least she wasn’t crying any longer.
He stopped tickling her and spent a moment looking at her. Just looking. The laughter gradually faded from her face, and under his hot regard he saw an answering fire burning in her eyes. She lifted her good hand, pressing it against his chest right over his heart, which felt like it might explode.
He had to get to her creamy skin. Now. He tore at the unflattering clothes she wore, desperate to reach the treasure underneath. He ripped apart her shirt and a serviceable white bra, then flung them impatiently out of the way.
Her breasts were perfect. Large and heavy, with dark pink nipples for him to feast upon. He paused for a moment to stare at them in wonder.
“They’re too big,” Madison said.
His eyes flickered back up to hers, which showed a slice of uncertainty that he intended to wipe away before he was done. Nothing would get between him and his woman again, not even her own uncertainties.
“They’re perfect,” Scott growled.
“They say anything more than a handful is a waste.”
“Then ‘they’ must be jealous.”
“That’s not nice.”
“I’m not nice. Now, stop insulting my breasts.”
“Yours?”
“Mine.” He staked his claim then, lowering his mouth so he could sample his prize. Her reactions were a little shy at first, a little uncertain, but he kept after her with relentless determination until he heard her cry out.
Something inside Madison seemed to ignite at that moment. Her shyness evaporated, giving rise to a passion she had kept buried for years. And like so many things long buried, it came out in an explosion that nearly knocked Scott backwards. It was her turn to be all over him, tearing at his clothes. She didn’t rip his scrubs, but he did when he assisted her.
Then there was nothing between them at all. Scott pushed Madison onto her back, pinned her arms above her head, and held her gaze as he joined himself with her.
“Mine,” Scott said again. And then he lost himself – body, heart, and soul.
* * *
Madison lay spooned in Scott’s embraced, her back to his front, his arm draped heavily over her waist, cupping one of her breasts. The embrace felt intimate. Vulnerable.
What had she done? I won’t let you go after this, he’d said. She’d heard, but hadn’t cared. Now, in the afterglow, she felt one niggling concern, assuming they survived this place.
“What about Clinton?” she asked.
He froze and she closed her eyes, recognizing the answer in his body’s tension. Oh no. What had she done? She’d been confused, emotionally vulnerable, and... and... no, she’d known precisely what she’d been doing, she simply hadn’t let herself care.
But she did pull away from him, dragging a sheet with her to cover herself.
“Don’t pull away now,” Scott growled, though he didn’t stop her. “I asked you if you meant it.”
“Please don’t hurt Clinton.”
“I have to. I have no choice. They’ve done something to him. I’m not even sure he can talk. Maybe that’s why he betrayed me, maybe it wasn’t really him.”
Madison shook her head. “Please don’t hurt him. I don’t care what’s left of him. Please.”
“This is who I am. You knew that.”
She didn’t answer.
“Look at me.”
She shook her head.
Scott came around in front of her, forcing her to see him. “Do you think I want to kill my mate’s brother?”
“Your mate?” Madison echoed.
“I love you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or someone you love.”
“You love me?” She’d heard the words before and been burned. Could she believe them this time? She hoped so. She wanted to.
“Yes,” Scott said.
“Then don’t kill Clinton.”
“I have no choice! He’s dangerous. It’s my responsibility.”
“It doesn’t have to be you!” Madison met him stare for stare, trembling slightly but holding her own. “We’re not in your territory anymore, are we?”
“I don’t know where we are.” He hesitated. “But probably not.”
“Then let someone else do it. If he has to die, then at least don’t be the one to do it. Give me that much.”
He hesitated.
“Is it so much to ask?” Madison asked. “There are other alphas.”
“There are.” He drew in a deep breath. “If he returns to my territory, I’ll have no choice.”
She didn’t like it. The if seemed to form a dark cloud above their heads, charged with lightning that might strike at any moment. Yet she knew this was as far as he could go, as much as he could compromise. It had to be enough.
Chapter 29
FOR THE NEXT WEEK, SCOTT DID everything in his power to imprint himself on Madison. To lay claim to her body and through that, he hoped, her heart. She didn’t say she loved him. He heard that deafening omission and feared the w
orst. That Clinton would always come between them. That though he had made her his mate in his heart, she had not done the same in hers.
Even so, Madison became Scott’s one bright spot in a world of darkness. His time with Dr. Akin, his dominion over the captive wolves, grew harder and harder each day, especially as he continued to defy Dr. Akin with regards to becoming his trained assassin. Dr. Akin didn’t understand Scott’s defiance, making Scott worry that he would change his threat at the last moment. There were moments when he seemed to want to, but he didn’t, perhaps believing that the key to discipline was consistency and follow-through. Under normal circumstances, Scott would have agreed with the idea.
Finally, the morning of the full moon, Dr. Akin summoned Scott to his office for his shortest visit ever – barely five minutes.
“If you think your wolf will bite her to turn her rather than kill her,” Dr. Akin said icily, “think again. You’ll have no meals today. Your wolf will be starving when you make the transformation. You have until six o’clock to change your mind.”
With that, Scott was dismissed. He kept his face as blank as the guards as they returned him to his prison, but he thanked his intuition for alerting him to the possible need to store food over the past few days. He didn’t have much – they didn’t exactly overfeed them – but it would take the edge off. It would keep Madison safe. It had to.
But Dr. Akin had brought Scott’s other fear to the forefront – the possibility, no, the probability – that he would bite Madison tonight. If his wolf hadn’t bitten her two years ago, it could only have been due to her obvious terror and recent trauma. He hadn’t been sure at the time whether or not she’d be strong enough. Now he knew better. She had come to him a little over a month ago and given him his first glimpse of the lioness beneath the surface. She would do anything to protect those she loved. She had been afraid, but she hadn’t let it stop her. Then she had gone up against two murderous werewolves and come out the victor. She worked hard every day to master complex and difficult magic without truly believing she could succeed. She was strong, capable, and fierce when the need arose. He didn’t even doubt that she could take on Jessica.
In other words, it wasn’t just his inner wolf that wanted her in his pack. There was a part of his conscious, thinking mind that wanted her there as well. The same part that wanted to believe inner strength could somehow beat the odds of surviving a werewolf bite and bring her through to the other side.
And if she did survive to become a werewolf, there could be no doubt left in either of their minds that she was his.
They spent the unexpected morning hours working on linking. Madison could link without touching him now, a tremendous feat in and of itself, but they still hadn’t made as much progress as they needed on the invisibility spell itself.
“They’re really just leaving you in here with me?” Madison asked after a couple hours of hard work.
“I told you I’d take care of it.”
“What’s going to keep you from biting me?” Madison asked.
He shook his head helplessly. “The link, maybe? The spell itself? I don’t know.”
“I can’t hold it all night, even if I can make it work.”
“I know.”
They sat silently for a long time, neither one of them speaking. They both knew the risks and discussing them wouldn’t change a thing at this point. Finally, Madison said, “I don’t have any shoes.”
“Huh?”
“Shoes. I don’t have any.” She wiggled her bare toes.
So many problems. Maybe he should give in to Dr. Akin’s demands. Put this off another month. Give Madison the time she needed to practice.
He almost suggested it. He even opened his mouth, but then he shut it again. Dr. Akin wouldn’t use the same threat next month, not after seeing how close it came to not working this month. He couldn’t even be sure the two of them would be together in four more weeks, let alone safe and whole. No, it was do or die time. Literally.
* * *
Madison wasn’t sure what to expect when the moon rose that night, but she sensed that one way or another, nothing would be the same when the new day dawned. She more than half expected not to see another sunrise, but she didn’t share those fears with Scott in what might be their last hours together. She didn’t want to ruin their time together with her private doubts and fears – fear of death, fear of being bitten, and paradoxically, fear of not being bitten.
It was easy to cling to the only other human available for support in the middle of her darkest hour. But what happened when they returned to real life? What happened when he returned to his pack and she to her classroom? She wouldn’t belong to him then.
They didn’t link until the final minutes before moon-rise. Scott found his quiet place first, then Madison joined him. She found the magic there, stronger than ever before, sharp and focused. She could only hold onto it for dear life, wondering if it would burn her again. The pain of the original injury had subsided, but the blackened hand remained a reminder of what the magic could do.
“I love you,” Scott said in his last second of full cognition. Madison had no chance to reply, even had she wanted to, because the light of intelligence disappeared from his eyes in the next second, leaving only the yellow of the wolf.
The great beast looked at her. Madison prayed.
Our Father, who art in heaven...
The wolf growled.
Show no fear. It can smell your fear.
She could still feel the link, though not as strongly as before. Scott had never before linked with someone in wolf form, and he’d had no idea if it would work or not. This first step could be the end of weeks of planning, and would be if she allowed fear to rule her.
“It’s okay,” Madison said, gentling her voice, knowing she probably sounded afraid. Smelled afraid. She wished desperately that Scott were here right now; she didn’t understand that look in the wolf’s eyes.
She switched to song then, using a tune that had once soothed another werewolf she had known.
And He will raise you up on Eagle’s wings,
bear you on the breath of down,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand.
It worked. Incredibly. Astoundingly. The beast went still, looking at her now with its head cocked to the side. Just listening. She continued to hum the song, even as she crossed to the door, pressing the button for the intercom.
There was a short delay in response, then a surprised, “Who is this?” Had they expected her to be dead already?
“Madison. Something went wrong with Scott’s transformation. I think he’s dead.”
“Is this a trick?” the guard asked.
Yes, of course it is. “I’m alive, aren’t I?”
When the guard still didn’t seem entirely convinced, she hummed a few more lines of “On Eagle’s Wings.”
“I’ll be right there.”
This was it. When that guard entered the room, he had to believe she and Scott were already gone. He had to believe it and, moreover, the cameras outside had to believe it.
“Typical illusion is a form of mind magic,” Scott had told her when teaching her the spell. “You trick the other person into believing you’re not there, or that you look like something else. A talented illusionist can drive a man mad, or create a world of fantasy. But all of it is in a person’s mind. It doesn’t hold up to modern technology.”
“How do you fool a camera?” Madison asked.
“You make the illusion real. I suppose no one did it before because mind magic is easier. Much, much easier. And before there were cameras everywhere, who cared?”
“There have been cameras for decades. Why hasn’t anyone come up with it before now?”
“Because the spell requires knowledge and power together, or it won’t work. I don’t think I could have worked the spell all those years ago, when I wandered into the woods. I wasn’t strong enough. But the wolf is. When
the moon is high, the wolf has the strength, if not the cognizance.”
“How do you make the illusion real?” Madison asked.
“It’s like turning a person into a frog. You turn your body into air.”
“Evan said it took him the better part of three months to learn to turn a person into a frog.”
“Let’s hope you’re smarter than he is.”
Sweat trickled down Madison’s forehead as she concentrated. Until tonight, the spellwork had been entirely theoretical. Only tonight, with the power of the full moon, would it become real.
And she had doubts. Good God, did she have doubts.
Our Father, who art in heaven...
No, this was no time for prayer, this was time for focus. She called to mind the words of the spell, drew in the magic, and formed her intent.
Next to her, Scott growled.
Something wasn’t right. She needed more power, more magic, but the link was slipping. Scott’s quiet place was disappearing.
No, it was changing. The pillows became grass, the ceiling became the sky, and everywhere she looked, flowers bloomed.
She could work with that. Above her, the full moon loomed. She called to it, hearing her voice echo across the dark meadow.
The power came from all living things. His power tonight came from the moon. But the moon wasn’t alive.
They’d had that conversation before. It didn’t matter. It was part of the connectedness of the universe. Or so Scott had said. She didn’t really get it, or if she did, it was only as a cold, distant idea, not as a core of herself.
A key rattled in the lock.
Oh, God! Please, help me! I can’t find enough magic. I can’t find the right focus.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
The power surged within her, flooding her veins, stabbing into her in ways she had never experienced before. It flowed through her arms and legs, splintering in her fingers and toes. It threatened to eat her alive, to cleave her apart, to cast her body into the atmosphere in millions upon millions of tiny particles.
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