by Laine Watson
And I had a song in my heart, what Jack’s mind might think of us if Jack knew all the stuff I wasn’t telling him and if I knew all the stuff he wasn’t telling me. Of course I called it “Perfect”
I sang it, quietly as Jack laid in my bossom.
She’d rather, not tell me…who she really is.
She’d rather, forgive me than to have an argument.
The monsters that save her, are the ones that bring her back to me and…
I’d rather, she’d think I’m perfect.
She’d rather, think I’m perfect.
Doesn’t matter what she says
Doesn’t matter where I was last night
All that matters is her love
And all that matter’s this because
if I mess it up this time
She’ll never trust me with her heart again.
She’d rather pretend to, forget my sins
She’d rather deny herself,
The sunlight, reminds me how dark my heart really is.
And I’d rather, she, think I’m perfect.
She’d rather, think I’m perfect.
Chapter Fourteen: Hit and Run
The next week went by quickly and happily, without any issues. There were no “Please fuck me, Jack, so I can be alright.” There were only happy fucks. It was Friday. It was a good day. I woke up in Jack’s bed. I hadn’t been home all week; well, for many weeks.
I opened my eyes. I noticed that Jack wasn’t in the bed. I also noticed it was afternoon. I picked up my phone and called Jack.
“Where are you?” I asked before Jack could say hello.
“I’m outside,” he said.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked him.
“Stop, mothafucka!” Jack yelled, not speaking to me.
“Roll the weed up, man. Quit fucking around,” Ant said on the other end of the phone.
Jack laughed.
“Hello?” I frowned.
“Yeah, yeah. Baby, I’m here. These motherfucka’s trippin’. We outside. Come outside,” Jack said.
“Okay,” I replied, annoyed. I ended the call and sat my phone on the dresser as I walked to the bathroom.
About a half hour, later after I’d gotten my shit together, I walked outside in some tiny shorts and a soft cottony knit aqua colored halter top that let my triple-D’s go free. I’d washed my hair and it was still a bit damp, thrown to the side, and popping lashes with a rosy lip gloss. I felt really pretty. I almost skipped outside.
Jack, Ant, and Jew were sitting outside in Jack’s driveway, smoking a joint; more like several joints, in three of the four lawn chairs.
“Hey.” I smiled. Jack looked up at me.
“Hey. What’s up?” he asked, pulling me into his lap.
“Where’s Trey?” I asked, noticing the empty chair.
“He walked to the store. He should be back,” Jack said. There were looks inadvertently directed at Jack and I, side smiles with suggestive undertones. Jack felt my body tense up, and my hand involuntarily move toward my crotch. He stopped, and leaned me face down to his. I could hear the thoughts starting, the invisible tattoos starting to appear across my skin. I gulped. Jew and Ant were talking to each other, probably in code.
“I love you…” Jack whispered. I took it in as if it were the smoke from a calming hit off the joint they were smoking. It was enough. I was able to knock it out. Clear skin and a clear mind.
“I love you,” I whispered back. He smiled.
I looked down the street as Jack continued to talk to his friends. I saw Trey as he walked up the street, a plastic bag on his arm, and a glazed doughnut in his hand as he munched on it. I stood up and walked to the edge of the driveway. I smiled.
“What’s up?” Trey asked, mouth filled with the end of his doughnut.
“You bring me something?” I asked him.
“Nope. It’s all for me.” He laughed, “The magic hand don’t work no mo.”
“Oh my gawd the magic hand!” I laughed.
“Man, Katie. You bogus,” Trey said thoughtfully.
“I was a little girl.” I continued to laugh.
“Man, whatever,” he said with a slight smirk. Trey started to walk toward the house. He turned around briskly.
“Katie?” he asked, frowning.
“Mhh?”
“Can you take me to yo crib?”
“Why?”
“To get my stuff,” Trey said.
“Uhm…” I replied reluctantly. “Yeah.” I shrugged.
“A’ight,” he said, heading to my car.
“I’m leaving,” I yelled up to Jack. He had been smiling, but it quickly went away.
“Where you going?” he asked, walking down to me.
“Home.” I smiled.
“Why?” he asked, looking suddenly vulnerable.
“Trey wants to go.” I shrugged.
“Oh…” he said, looking me over. I smiled at him.
“You’re pathetic,” I said.
“I’m pathetic?” he asked, looking away, sniffing, and then grabbing me, pulling me close to his body, “But…you can’t survive without my dick in you?” He smirked sexily as he whispered in my ear, making me hot. I smiled.
“You can survive without me?” I asked. He grinned.
“You can come,” I offered.
“I can? When?” he smiled bigger, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. I giggled. We stared into each other’s eyes for a minute.
“Oh my gawd! Really?” Trey said, hanging on the door of my car. We looked back at him, “Come on! Like we ain’t coming right back.”
Ant and Jew weren’t saying anything, they were only passing the joint between two people.
Jack and I looked at each other.
“Bye.” I smiled.
“Bye,” he replied. I could tell that Ant and Jew wanted to say something. After we left, they probably said a lot. The kinda stuff that Jack wouldn’t say in front of Trey. Maybe even stuff he wouldn’t say in front of me. I got in the car, and Jack watched us drive away.
It wasn’t far. I just didn’t want to go there. I hadn’t really talked to Becs after the whole her pretending like she didn’t remember Jack was Jack, and the fact that she sucked my boyfriend’s dick. I guess she thought she would never see me again. Or maybe she just didn’t care. That’s probably the truth. I drove past the karaoke bar on the main street before you got to Harian Neighbors.
“So, why you wanna go to my house?” I asked my brother.
“Cuz man. I’m tired of waiting on y’all. Money said I could stay at his crib, but shit, y’all be at his crib. I be staying over Jiggs’s house so much the momma said…”
“The momma? You sound like Thelma n’em.” I laughed.
“Shut up.” He smiled. “Nah, but the daddy deployed. She said I could stay in his room, ‘til he get back.”
“Dang. They got separate rooms?” I asked.
“Shit, yeah. I guess.” Trey shrugged. I nodded. I had heard of crazier scenarios.
“Well, that was nice. Where is the daddy’s room?” I asked him.
“In the house, mug,” Trey said sarcastically.
“You stupid.” I smiled, “I mean, is it upstairs? Downstairs?”
“It’s upstairs,” he replied.
“Where the momma’s room?”
“Upstairs,” he told me, and I snickered. “What?”
“She want her a lil tenderroni.” I laughed, “While the daddy gone.”
“Man, shut up. She like fifty,” Trey said.
“Exactly.” We both laughed.
“Nah, for real, though. Jiggs n’em don’t do shit. They house look like gra’mamma n’em house…Trifflin’.”
“Dang…” I said.
“Yeah. So, she like, if you can clean the house, run some errands for me, cut the grass, and shit like that, you can stay here.” He shrugged. I nodded.
I pulled up to the house and parked. Trey and I got out and went inside. I stood on the
landing, waiting for him. I didn’t want Becs to say anything to me, and I didn’t want her to see him taking stuff out of the house.
Trey passed me with all the things he had left in my closet; his little apartment. He put them in my car, and came back in the house.
“We can go. I ain’t got nothing else,” he told me.
“Okay.”
“Katie,” I heard Becs say from the top of the stairs.
“What?” I said, turning around to her on the landing as I was opening the door. I had a lot to say about her, her life choices, and the things she did. But her god sister, Alex, was there. She appeared to Becs’s right.
“Hey Katie,” Alex said, smiling. She was just a little younger than me, but you couldn’t tell it. She was a dark-haired girl with dark eyes, who was around more than usual, maybe for no other reason than her mom was never around.
“Hey Alex,” I replied. I grinned.
“What you doing today?” she asked me.
“I don’t know. I don’t really have any plans,” I said with a shrug.
“Oh, uhm…can I chill with you?” Alex asked.
“Uhm…”
“Can I talk to you, Katie?” Becs interrupted. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn’t.
“Yeah,” I replied brightly. She headed to her room, and I followed her up the steps and down the hall. I closed the door behind me.
“Look, don’t take our shit out on Alex,” she told me. “You know she wants to be just like you.”
“I don’t know why,” I said coldly.
“Me either,” she scoffed. “I know you think that I’m a horrible friend for sucking Money dick. I’m sorry. But it was once, and it was just for some fucking coke. I don’t want him. And if you do,” she paused and sighed. “Then…”
“Not if I want him,” I paused. “You just shouldn’t have lied about it. Like you met him somewhere else.”
“Now, I didn’t lie about that,” she said. “I just didn’t remember.”
“Well, you are a crack whore, so I guess your vision is impaired.” I laughed.
“Shut up, bitch!” She smiled.
“I don’t forgive you,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Yes, you do. Cuz you know damn well his skinny ass is not what I’m checking for,” she said. We smiled at each other.
“I’m sorry,” I said
“No, you’re not, bitch,” Becs replied.
“No, I’m not. But that’s just the way it is,” I told her, and she nodded.
“Get outta my room before I fuck you,” Becs said.
“You know you’ve tried that before,” I reminded her, opening the door.
“What the fuck ever.” She smiled as we walked back down the hall. Alex had already gotten into the car with Trey, and they were talking animatedly, about what I’m not sure. I stood in the doorway, looking at them in the car.
“You can’t say no now.” Becs smiled.
“Nope, I can’t.” I smiled, “Bye bitch.”
“Bye, slut!” We laughed.
That was fine. I didn’t feel dirty, or less of a woman, or anything like that. It just happened when guys said it. This was different.
I hopped in the car. I didn’t feel like talking, so I turned up the radio and drove back to Jack’s house.
When we pulled up in front of Jack’s house, the street was empty. No one was standing on the corner, no one was leaning on anyone’s car, no one was sitting in anyone’s yard. There was no one on any one’s porch, and there was no one in the four lawn chairs that sat abandoned in Jack’s driveway.
The three of us got out of the car. I stretched, standing in my door. Before I could stretch all the way, there was a forceful splash of water coming from behind me, hitting me in the back of the head. I couldn’t see them, but there was Jack, Jiggs, and Ant and an unknown player, just as pale as Jack, and maybe just as playful. By the time I turned around, another gush of water was sprayed right in my face. Jack appeared, along with Jiggs. Alex, Trey and I found ourselves targets, unarmed and surrounded. There was a quiet moment of fearful looks, and then, complete submersion. When my eyes were dry enough to open, it was too late. The culprits had disappeared. No doubt lurking around any corner.
“Man, them niggas play too much!” Trey shouted.
I looked at Alex. She was just as drenched as I was.
“Well, I guess this is what we’re gonna do today.” I smiled.
“Nah, I got something for they asses,” Trey said.
“Do you guys do this a lot?” I asked him.
“Hell, yeah. We at war!” Trey yelled, storming into Jiggs’s house. I looked at Alex again, and we laughed.
“So, what are we gonna do?” she asked, excited.
“Well, I was planning on having sex with my boyfriend, but I guess we’re not gonna do that.” I giggled.
“You have a boyfriend? Was it one of those guys?” Alex asked.
“Yeah.” I smiled, “I’m pretty sure.
“Which one?” she asked. I was about to answer, but was interrupted.
“Okay, it’s going down,” Trey said, stomping out the house with three big-ass water guns.
“You guys take this way too seriously,” I told him.
“Hell yeah! Them niggas ain’t finna get me,” Trey asserted himself. I laughed. “Okay, they gone get yo ass. And Money ain’t even gone save you.”
“It’s just a game, whatever.” I shrugged.
“Here,” Trey said, handing me the water gun with the orange ammo pack.
“I don’t wanna play,” I said.
“You finna play,” Trey replied, “When you hit a mu’fucka it’s gone come out blue.”
“Blue?” I asked, setting the water gun down on my car.
“Oh, my goodness. I wanna play!” Alex said excitedly, reaching out for a water gun. Trey handed her the last one.
“This one spray red,” Trey said, clearly impressed by her enthusiasm.
“So fucking awesome.” She laughed, looking at me.
“They asses around here somewhere,” Trey said and took off like he was a cop looking for a robber who was lurking in the neighborhood. I didn’t move. Alex frowned.
“We’re not gonna go?” she asked.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“Why not? I bet it’s so much fun,” she said, trying to convince me.
“No…I don’t trust them,” I told her.
“Oh,” she said, laying her water gun on the trunk of my car.
Alex and I continued to talk as we watched the boys disappear into the neighborhood. It grew quiet as their cries got further away from us.
The first person that Trey found was Jack, and they teamed up against Ant, Jiggs, and the white dude. Jack and Trey searched the neighborhood, hiding behind houses and bushes, fences and trees. They all saw each other every now and then, using only a little bit of their water; they hadn’t gotten close enough to shoot and win.
“So, you never told me who your boyfriend is,” Alex said, sitting down on the curb. I joined her.
“Oh, his name is Jack.” I smiled.
“Jack?” she asked.
“Well, everybody calls him Money,” I said girlishly.
“Why, is he rich?” she asked.
“I don’t think so.” I smiled.
“I…wish I had a boyfriend,” she said.
“How old are you?” I asked.
“Fifteen.” She smiled.
“I wish I could tell you that you’re too young to have boyfriend. But that’s kinda what got me into this mess,” I said.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna say I can’t have a boyfriend when I’m as young as I am,” she said.
“No, I had a boyfriend at fourteen, and nobody could take him away from me. Well, I thought no one could take him away from me. But then someone took me away from him,” I told her.
“D-did you have sex with him?” she asked me. I looked at her out of the corner of my eyes.
“Have
you had sex, Alex.?” I asked gently. She was quiet. She lowered her eyes.
“Is that a yes?”
Her innocent eyes stared at me in silence. I don’t know what I hoped she’d say. My phone startled me. I answered it.
“Hello?” I said.
“Katie! Man, they got me and Money trapped, come help us, man!” Trey exclaimed.
“Y’all alright,” I told him drily.
“Katie?” Trey said.
“Alright.” I scoffed.
“We at the abandoned parking lot,” Trey replied.
“What?” I asked.
“Come on, man. Stop bull shitting,” he snapped and hung up the phone. I rolled my eyes and let my wrist drop as I dangled the phone in the air.
I stood up and sighed.
“What?” Alex wondered. I picked up my water gun out of the grass.
“I guess we’re going down there,” I said, walking to my car.
“Yes!” Alex hissed, sliding her water gun off the trunk and hopping in the car. I hopped into the driver’s seat. I drove off.
I parked the car almost at the edge of the parking lot of the abandoned department superstore lot. I could see personages behind the large pillars that milled all the way up to the sky it seemed, where lights used to shine down. Alex and I walked toward the parking lot.
The boarded-up building was now nothing. Just a gray and blue eyesore in the middle of town. We had our guns cocked, looking around for the nearest movement. At the sign of any movement, we were going to take our shot. Before long, we had nowhere to go. If we went any further, we’d be too close to get away from the white dude and Jiggs. Jack and Trey were far out, the furthest you could get into the parking lot. We were on our own.
I always felt like Jiggs was five seconds from being inappropriate with me anyway, so I wasn’t trying to play wet tee shirt contest with him. That said, one way or the other, I was going to get someone with my blue water, and I was going to make it count.
There were only four people, two of which were coming toward us stealthily, hopping from post-to-post. To my dismay, it was Jiggs and the guy who was a pale as Jack, just more scruffy-looking.
I don’t know him. I’ve never seen him, and I wouldn’t feel any type of way wetting him up and taking off running, I thought, setting my sights on the guy I didn’t know.
