He rises at noon and makes his way to the living room. “I’m starting to feel human again. Did you miss another day of work?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to leave in case you needed me.”
He collapses on the sofa next to me. “Nasty virus. I just hope we didn’t give it to anyone at the party.”
“It’s possible we got it from someone at the party.”
“Or it could’ve been from someone in the cast of Wicked. I shook a lot of hands. Who knows? I’m gonna check in with my family.” He pulls out his phone, sends a few texts, and leans his head back on the sofa a few moments later. “Everyone’s fine.”
“How did you find out so fast?”
“It’s lunch hour at work. I’ve got my brothers on a group text. Then I just checked in with my mom. Thank God. I didn’t want the newborn twins to be exposed. They’re home now.”
“Do you want to watch TV?” I ask.
“Sure, I could use a distraction.”
I hand him the remote, and he switches it to a car channel, where the mechanics are fixing up a car and telling the viewer how to do it. Such a guy way to relax.
He slides an arm around my shoulders.
I feel so close to him. No one has ever taken care of me like he did. Except my grandmother, but she had to. She loves me in her way. It’s just not the way I needed. I need to forgive her for that. We’re like oil and water. Just the way we’re made.
But, Garrett, we’re like mud, sticking together. How romantic, Harp!
“You were so good at taking care of me,” I say.
He gives me a wry smile. “You’re a shitty nurse.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Empathy nausea was too much for me to function.”
“It’s okay. I survived. I’m used to my mom, who’s like an ER doc and Florence Nightingale wrapped in one.”
“Would you have preferred your mom?”
“Nah. I prefer a shitty, sexy nurse any day.” He kisses me and slides a hand under my shirt.
I push him away with a laugh. “Next weekend. No way I can manage sex after what I’ve been through. You too. Aren’t you feeling exhausted and weak?”
“I’ll make you do all the work.” He lifts me to straddle his lap and kisses me tenderly. “You can nurse me back to health this way.”
Who would’ve guessed? I’m a fantastic nurse after all.
19
Harper
The next three weeks are a blur of work and seeing Garrett every chance I get. I’m on a roller coaster of emotion like I’ve never felt before. I’m flying high when I’m with him and irritable when we’re apart. It must be love—exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.
I finish filming Living Gold on Friday, our second to last taping, and drag myself back to my trailer, stretching out on the sofa. I should be getting home, but I need to lie down first. I can’t remember ever feeling so exhausted before. It must be lingering fatigue from the stomach virus combined with truly being in love for the first time. Those other times were more about me telling myself I was in love. This is the real deal.
There’s a knock on my trailer door.
“Come in,” I call. Joe’s out there, so he would’ve cleared anyone first.
The door pops open, and Josie steps inside. “Are you okay? You haven’t seemed quite your usual energetic self.”
I sit up. “I’m not, but it’ll be okay. It’s just lingering fatigue from that stomach virus. It took a lot out of me, and it takes time to build your strength back. I’m not even back to my full workout routine.”
She sits next to me and squeezes my arm. “Maybe you should see a doctor. What if it’s something more serious?”
“Garrett had the same thing, and he’s fine. Last weekend he ran a 5K. For fun.”
She shakes her head. “What a show-off. Did he tell you it was for fun?”
“Yes.”
“He and his brothers are such athletes. They need to flex those muscles once in a while. Of course, your guy flexes all the time with his weight lifting. I bet he could lift both of us, one in each hand.”
I laugh. “Like a circus guy.”
“Right?” She gets serious. “Have you heard anything about the show getting picked up?”
“Nothing yet. All I know is it’s not building in the ratings like they hoped.”
She wrings her hands together. “I feel responsible. It’s the first time I was the lead in a show. Maybe I’m not appealing enough.”
“Josie, it’s not you. You’re fantastic. Really. Who knows why one show strikes a chord and another doesn’t? It’s out of our hands.”
She nods, her expression somber. “What will you do if it doesn’t?”
“I refuse to think about that until I know for sure.”
She blows out a breath. “My agent sent me a pile of scripts to look over. I think that’s a bad sign.”
“Not necessarily. Maybe she’s just thinking of work for your hiatus.”
“Do you want me to put in a good word with Claire? You said you hoped to direct something for her.”
“I have her info. I’ll get in touch when the time is right.”
“You’re awfully calm about everything.”
“Well, I have two advantages. One, this is my fourth show, so I know they don’t last forever. And two, I can’t even think about moving away for work. Things are really good with Garrett.” My eyes water. I get so emotional whenever his name comes up. “He’s coming over later to cook me dinner.”
She claps and hugs me. “I’m so happy for you! Don’t tell the others, but Garrett is my favorite of Sean’s brothers. He just has such a good heart, ya know?”
I nod and a tear escapes.
“Oh no! Why’re you crying? That’s a good thing!”
I sniffle. “I know. I’ve never truly been in love before.” I grab a tissue and wipe my eyes. “I thought I was before, but this is way more intense. I guess when someone gets in deep, it sort of loosens the defensive walls.”
She smiles. “You’re like Marian the librarian at the end of The Music Man when she’s open and happier because of it. I’d better call Broadway and tell them to get you into a revival of that show. You’re perfect for it.”
“Was it like that for you and Sean?”
She looks thoughtful, her lips pursing in concentration. “Not exactly. I didn’t have defensive walls around my emotions. It was more like, I needed him to take my work seriously, even though I was the one who really needed to own that. It was at a time when I got nothing but rejections. Fortunately, he’s the steady sort, who never wavered in his feelings for me. Once he finally admitted he had them.”
Her phone buzzes, and she checks the screen. “Speaking of my honey. I gotta go. Enjoy your dinner tonight. What’s he making you?”
“Risotto, I think.”
“Oh, I want to come with you! I’ve had his risotto. Did you know every time he house-sits for us, he leaves a dinner for our first night back?”
“I didn’t know, but I’m not surprised at all.” I hesitate. “You and Sean are welcome to join us.”
“Ha, thanks. I can tell you want your honey all to yourself.”
“I missed him this week.”
“So sweet!” She stands and hugs herself, rocking side to side. “I remember that delicious falling-into-each-other feeling. Now it’s all—” she imitates Sean’s gruff voice “—I love you, now strip.” She claps a hand over her mouth. “Oops! TMI. Gotta go!”
I laugh and see her to the door. Then I head out, Joe in tow, to meet my love.
Garrett
I knock on my love’s door, freshly showered, two bags of groceries in hand.
She opens it. “I love you.”
I smile widely. “I love you too, sweetheart.” I set the bags down on the kitchen counter and turn to face her.
She launches herself into my arms. “I mean I really love you. I miss you terribly when we’re apart, and I’m happy the moment I see your face again.” She pe
ppers my face with kisses.
She’s the One. I finally found her. I do the only logical thing. I scoop her up, cradled in my arms, and carry her to the bedroom. “Dinner can wait.”
“I want you so bad.”
I strip her down the moment we get to her bedroom, and she helps take my clothes off. We slam together in a frenzy as the fire ignites between us. Then we tumble into bed, a tangle of arms and legs.
I cover her, holding my weight on my forearms.
Her fingers slide to the nape of my neck. “No matter what happens, let’s never forget this moment.”
I still. “What would happen?”
“Circumstances beyond our control. I don’t know. Take me.” She grabs my ass and pulls hard.
I thrust deep. It feels so good without the condom. She’s the only woman I’ve ever had like this. Her trust in me was there from the beginning. It only needed time to surface beyond the physical.
I pump slowly, gazing into her eyes. “I could never forget a single moment.”
“Me either,” she whispers, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.
Something deep passes between us. Our emotions binding us together. Nothing could be better than this.
“More,” she demands.
I give her what she needs, sliding a hand under her hip and angling her, taking her deep. The way we both need.
Her soft sounds of pleasure fuel my own. I rock into her faster and harder until we’re both panting. She throws her head back, crying out with her release, and I let go with a harsh sound, pleasure flooding me. So damn good.
I collapse against her, and she holds me tight. She doesn’t want to let me go. Neither do I.
Long moments later, she loosens her hold, and I roll off her. She wipes her cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, propping up on an elbow.
“Nothing,” she says with a laugh. “I’ve just been feeling everything really deeply lately. It’s your fault, I’m sure. Making me love you so much.”
“You sure that’s all?” Josie told me they were all nervous about the show’s ratings. If it gets cancelled, more than a hundred people are out of work. Including my love. I don’t want her to move halfway around the world for work, but at the same time I could never hold her back. We’ll figure something out.
“Yeah. I mean, my future job security is uncertain, but that’s the life I signed up for. And I wouldn’t want to be playing the same character the rest of my life anyway. That would get old.”
I kiss her. “You hungry?”
She presses herself against my side. “Just hold me a little longer.”
That’s not like her. I’m the cuddler more than she is. I wrap an arm around her, concerned. “If you got a new job in LA or wherever, we could do the long-distance thing. You’d come back eventually, right? Josie’s found more work in New York than she originally thought.” Now that I’m taking Jack’s place as crew chief, I’m staying rooted here. I can still take modeling and commercial gigs locally. That’s a huge advantage of working for family. They’re flexible and don’t mind me taking a day off here and there.
“Let’s not go there. I just want to enjoy now.”
I wish I could, but her tears have me on edge. “Does it bother you that the press dubbed you Princess Harper?” The paparazzi have snapped photos of us in front of her building when we go out. They’re calling us the royal duo. Almost sounds like we’re superheroes, so I don’t mind.
“It’s better than having everyone think I’m the tough bitch I used to play on TV. Half the time they call me Amanda. Princess Harper sounds regal and softer too.”
“Okay. But I’m all ears if anything’s bothering you. I just don’t remember you being so teary before.”
She sighs. “I’m exhausted, to be honest, between work and recovering from that stomach virus.”
My brows knit together. “It’s been three weeks. I thought you’d bounce back like I did.”
“Maybe it’s the stress of knowing our show’s ending soon. Next Friday is our last episode. Will you be there for the taping and the wrap party?”
I stroke her cheek and kiss her. “Absolutely.”
She hugs my middle. “It’ll be a little subdued since we don’t know if it’s goodbye forever or for the season.”
“That’s fine. As long as it’s not our goodbye forever.”
Her eyes widen. “Why would you say that?”
“Uh, because I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Me either.”
“Good.”
“Fine,” she says, rolling to her back. “It just sounded like you were implying something.”
“You’re so touchy lately.” I’m about to ask if she has PMS, but then think better of it. I’ve had my head ripped off for that question before. Instead I tuck her close. She burrows into my chest and sighs.
Harper
So Living Gold was cancelled yesterday. I’ve mourned, cried my eyes out, bitched to Josie and Garrett, and now I’m trying to be fine with it. It’s been twenty-four hours, and my agent is putting out feelers for my next gig. I’m not just upset because it ended after one season, it’s because I fear what this means for my future with Garrett. I should get in touch with Claire about directing, though it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be local. Most work is still in LA. I can’t seem to muster enthusiasm for anything. I’m not myself—restless, agitated, nothing appeals, whether it’s food or books or TV. I’m about to jump out of my skin.
Garrett’s stopping by tonight. He was here last night, too, to comfort me about the show’s demise.
The moment he arrives, I know something’s up. He’s pumped full of energy and bounds inside, hugging me and kissing me soundly on the mouth.
“What’s going on?” Maybe he found a house he liked. After his two commercials, he can afford it.
“Guess,” he says, bouncing a bit.
“Did you buy a house?”
One corner of his mouth lifts. “No, sweetheart, I’d want your input on that.”
My heart squeezes, my throat tight. He makes it sound like we have a definite future together. I’d like that. “Did you book another commercial?”
“Better. My agent got me a part in a prequel to Journey to the Galaxy.” He rubs his hands together. “Someone dropped out, and he got me in. Can you believe it? I’m going to play Drake’s dad in a flashback. Me, part of the Journey to the Galaxy franchise!”
My lips part, momentarily speechless. That is a major movie franchise. After only two months of acting lessons and two commercials. I know the industry isn’t fair, I know beautiful people have an advantage, but I’m still…stunned.
His eyes sparkle with happiness. “Say something.”
“What about your job?”
“I’ll only be away for six weeks. I leave this Sunday, and I’ll be back in time for Christmas.” He smiles widely. “My brothers are willing to pitch in during my absence. They’re psyched for me. We’re all big fans of Journey to the Galaxy.”
“Congratulations,” I force out.
He gets serious. “Are you mad?”
My mind boggles with everything I’m feeling. He’s leaving. He’s surpassing me. I just lost my job and feel shitty all the time, and he’s on top of the world. Every fear and worry I’ve suppressed bubbles to the surface.
I keep my tone even. “It’s hard to get over how easy it is for you to get gigs. I paid my dues. You didn’t.”
“Who knows, maybe this is the end of the road for me. I don’t pretend to have your skills. You’re a true artist. But I’m willing to work hard to get there.”
I tell myself to swallow the bitterness, but what comes out is exactly how I feel. “That all sounds great, but the fact is, all of this industry work was so damn easy for you. And it’s because of me. You never would’ve had an ‘in’ if I hadn’t gotten you in the spotlight. My grandmother warned me you’d use me and surpass me. Hell, it’s not like it’s never happened before, so what did I expect, right?
Why should I be blindsided once again by the person I thought loved me stepping over me on his way to better things?” At his silence, I throw my hands up. “See, it’s true! You have nothing to say to that.”
He clenches his jaw. “I can’t believe you think that about me. I am not like your user exes.”
I cock my head. “I’m sorry, did you get a modeling gig before the press went nuts over us walking the red carpet together?”
“I could’ve done that without you.”
“But you never did. You were industry adjacent. You knew people in it—your mom modeling, Josie acting—but it’s not until you met me that you went for it. And that’s because my spotlight shone on you. Now I’m out of work, and it’s all you, you, you.” My voice cracks.
“Ya know, Harp. I don’t like your tone here.”
I straighten my spine. “Oh, so sorry I have a tone.”
He jabs a finger at me. “Haven’t I been good to you?”
I cross my arms, hugging myself. My throat is so tight I can barely speak. “That’s what hurts the most. I let you in. I trusted you. You didn’t even talk to me about taking this job in LA. Just told me after the fact. Couples are supposed to talk about stuff ahead of time if their relationship is the most important thing. Obviously for you, it isn’t.”
“Because I thought it was a no-brainer.” He frowns. “I didn’t think you’d resent me for taking the opportunity of a lifetime. Just to be on set would be an honor, but to actually play Drake’s father? That’s major. I can’t turn it down. I’m committed and they need me.”
I need you. I keep that to myself. It sounds weak. I’m strong and stand on my own two feet. I never ask anyone for anything. That’s not how I was raised.
He plants his hands on his hips and lets out a long breath like he’s frustrated with me. I’m the one who’s frustrated with him. Here I am, putting us first, thinking of every next step with the two of us in mind, and he just goes out and does this. My eyes get hot.
“Do you want me to get you a part?” he asks. “Maybe there’s still a role you could step in for.”
Rogue Beast (The Rourkes, Book 12) Page 19
