by J. Daniels
What the hell is she always taking notes about?
Jenna set the plate on the table after feeding Marley another bite and walked to the end of the island, where she had a spiral notebook open to a blank page. “Is there anything I need to know? Medications she takes or a nap schedule she follows?”
I shook my head and blew across the mug. “No medications. A nap schedule? Like, she’s going down every day at the same time?” I chuckled. “That’s hilarious. I usually just let her go until she drops. It’s easier than fighting with her.”
Jenna’s brows lifted. She appeared to be holding in a laugh. “Oh, well, you know, kids like routines. They actually thrive on them. Plus, it’ll just make your life easier. So, if it’s okay with you, I’ll probably get her on some sort of schedule.”
“Works for me. Honestly, whatever you want to do. You’re basically saving my life here.”
She smiled and shrugged off the comment, as if everything she was doing for me was nothing, and God, it wasn’t. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“We haven’t talked about compensation yet,” I said. “If it’s fair to you, and please be honest with me, I’m willing to pay you two hundred to two-fifty a day for this, depending on how long you’re here.”
Her lips slowly parted. “That’s…more than fair. You don’t need to pay me that much.”
“I priced daycare in this area. I know how much it costs.”
“It doesn’t cost two hundred dollars a day. I’ve priced it too.”
“No, but you’re doing more for me than a daycare would. They wouldn’t keep her on weekends.”
She tilted her head, thinking on this. “Okay, but still, that’s a lot of money…”
“I wouldn’t feel right paying anything less,” I told her, hoping to shut down any further argument. “She’s a lot of work, Jenna. It isn’t like she’s just going to sit still for you. Not to mention how last minute this is. Please, let me do this the right way. I won’t be able to sleep at night if I feel like I’m cheating you.”
Her smile came on softly. “Okay.”
“And anything you buy for her—food or whatever—just save the receipts and I’ll pay you back.”
“I’ll do that.” She picked up the pen lying across the notebook and held it out to me. “Do you want to write your number down? In case I have any questions or need to get in touch with you.”
I stuck the lid on the mug and set it aside, then took the pen from her and stepped closer.
“I haven’t given my number to a woman in eleven years,” I confessed without any fucking thought at all. My hand froze inches from the paper.
Why the hell did I share that information? Maybe she didn’t hear it…
I looked up. Green eyes stared back at me, widened with full awareness.
I cleared my throat and wrote my number down so fast, it was barely legible. “Can you read that?”
“Yep.”
“Great.” I dropped the pen and pushed the notebook away, exchanging it for the mug and stepping back. “I should get going.” Before I revealed anything else completely irrelevant.
She offered me an easy smile, as if I hadn’t just made this awkward as fuck. “Should I feed her dinner too?” she asked. “What time were you planning on getting back?”
“I never make it home for dinner.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Okay.”
Shit. Is that too late for her? “Is that a problem?” I asked. “Like I said before, it’s only temporary. I won’t be working late once I get someone in there.”
I wondered if she could hear the panic in my voice or see it written all over my face—I was certain it was there—because Jenna recovered so quickly, I wouldn’t have known how she initially reacted to hearing how late I was going to be unless I’d been watching her the way I was doing.
“No, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Her smile was carefree.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll make dinner. It’s really not a problem.” She spun around when Marley started whining for more waffles. “Seriously, Nathan. We’ll be fine.”
“All right, great.” Relief lightened my limbs. Noting the time on the stove, I felt around my pockets, making sure I had my keys, cell, and wallet. “I need to head out,” I announced. “If you need anything, just call me.”
Jenna looked up at me, holding on to the grin she was giving my daughter. “I will. Have a great day.”
“Thanks again for this.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
“It’s not nothing. It’s…the farthest from nothing. Trust me.” I adjusted my glasses and smiled at her. “I’ll win this argument. Don’t even try it.”
She fought a grin, then mimed zipping her lips.
I was nearly to the door when Jenna called out, stopping me from retreating any further. I turned and watched her rush into the room with Marley on her hip.
“Wait! She didn’t say goodbye.”
I almost laughed. I didn’t believe my daughter cared one way or the other about giving me any send-offs, but then I wondered if maybe I should’ve been the one giving them to her.
Why didn’t I? Shit.
Jenna stopped in front of me, smiled, and coaxed Marley with a “Tell Daddy buh-bye.”
Marley blinked at me with the same eyes as her mother. “Buh-bye, Daddy.”
“Give him a kiss.”
I stared at Jenna. “I don’t think—” My next words got caught in my throat when Marley leaned forward, no hesitation whatsoever, reaching out with one arm and gripping my neck. I pitched closer and bent lower, so fast I nearly knocked into them. Sticky syrup lips smacked on my cheek and smeared. Jenna offered an “oops” as they pulled away and winced like this would bother me, but fuck, I didn’t even care if my daughter got syrup all over my shirt. How could this bother me? It couldn’t.
“Bye, sweetheart,” I said to Marley, then looked at Jenna. My heart pounded against my ribs. “Thank you.”
She gave me a smile before she turned away and left the room.
* * *
It was just after ten by the time I made it back home that night.
I could’ve stayed at Whitecaps later. Truth be told, I could’ve worked all night if I knew Jenna would’ve been okay with it—I had a lot to catch up on. I’d barely gotten anything accomplished the last two weeks. But I couldn’t ask this woman for more. I worried if I was already asking too much.
The entire bottom floor of the house was lit up when I pulled into the driveway.
I sat in my truck after cutting the engine, dropping my head against the seat and staring through the windshield. My breathing slowed.
I wasn’t used to it looking like people were home. Not anymore. My mother would always wait up for me, but typically, she’d keep most of the lights off and read in the family room next to one of the small table lamps. The house would always be quiet every time I’d step inside.
It’s strange—the things you don’t realize you miss.
As I was walking toward the house, the front door opened and Jenna stepped outside.
“Hey,” I called out.
“Hey.” She frowned as I approached, crossing her arms below her chest. “You really need to let me know if you’re planning to be this late, Nathan.”
Brow furrowed, I joined her on the porch. “Shit. Did something happen? Is Marley okay?”
“Of course. If something had happened, I would’ve called you.” Her frown deepened as she stared up at me underneath the light. “I’m sorry you thought something was wrong just now. I would always call you if it involved Marley. I didn’t tonight because…well, I didn’t want to bother you at work with this, but it is something we should talk about.”
“Okay.” I nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“You said you wouldn’t be home for dinner. I just assumed that meant you’d be a little later than that. Not this late. It’s after ten. Is this typical for you?”
&
nbsp; “Until I can get someone else in there, it will be.” I sighed as I pushed a hand through my hair. “Is this too late? Do I need to make other arrangements?” Fuck. Where would I even begin to look for someone?
“I’m not saying I can’t stay. I’m just…” Jenna dropped her arms. “I have kids too, Nathan. I don’t mind staying this late and neither do they, but you need to communicate with me.”
She was right. I honestly hadn’t thought to clarify what time I’d be home, and I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t. Maybe I just assumed it wouldn’t be an issue, and if it was, she would’ve called me. That was my mistake.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should’ve given you a heads-up.”
“I should’ve made you specify earlier, but—”
“No, this is on me. I should’ve told you, Jenna. And I should’ve made sure you were okay with it before I left this morning. This won’t happen again.”
She blinked up at me, a soft smile pulling at her lips. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
Jenna hooked her thumb at the door. “Shall we?”
I gestured for her to head inside. “After you.”
The TV was tuned to some cartoon channel Jenna’s kids were watching. Both of them popped their heads up from the sofa when we entered the house.
“Nate!” Oliver sprang from the couch and spun around, wincing when Jenna hushed him and mumbling an, “oh, right,” when she corrected his greeting. “Sorry,” he told her before looking over at me again. “Um, I mean, Mr. Nate, you played football?” He rushed over to the bookcase along the far wall and picked up one of the picture frames, holding it out to show me.
I closed the door and moved farther into the room, stopping at the end of the sofa.
“You can call me Nate,” I said, feeling bad for the kid. He obviously knew what he wanted to call me. And what the hell did I care?
“Cool.” Oliver smiled and looked at Jenna. “Hear that, Mom? We can call him Nate. He just said we could.”
“I heard him. I’m right here.” Jenna laughed softly as she moved to the other sofa. She began to pack up her bag, stacking papers together and tucking them inside the large pocket.
“Hi, Nate.” Olivia waved from her seat.
“Hey.”
Her smile stretched into a grin. “Hi,” she repeated, a little softer this time.
My chest moved with a laugh. She was cute.
“I just wanted to make sure you heard, Mom.” Oliver met my gaze again and gestured at the picture in his hand. “Football? You played?”
“Yeah. All the way through college.”
“What position?”
“Quarterback.”
His eyes went round. “What? No way!”
“Oliver,” Jenna scolded, hushing him again. “Marley is asleep.”
“No way,” he repeated on a whisper. “I want to be quarterback too, but my coach said my arm isn’t strong enough. I’m fast though. I made four starts at running back last season. My coach said I did really good. That might be my position. But I don’t want to not try to be quarterback. That’s my dream spot.” He glanced at the picture, then slowly tilted his head back to look up at me. “I really hope I get over six foot. You have to be tall to be a quarterback. How tall are you?”
“Yeah, how tall are you?” Olivia pressed from her spot on the sofa. She had that notepad open in her lap now and a pen ready.
Her and the notes. What is with that?
I loosened my tie and popped the top button of my shirt, answering, “I’m six four.”
“Wow,” Olivia whispered.
Oliver gaped at me. “Could we play catch sometime? Like, are you busy right now? ’Cause I’m not busy. I have the whole night free.”
I chuckled, gearing to answer with an obvious, “Maybe another time,” when Jenna stood from the love seat and walked over to him.
“Oliver, it’s way too late. You wouldn’t even be able to see anything out there.” She took the frame out of his hand and placed it back on the bookshelf, then grabbed his shoulders and spun him in the direction of the kitchen. “Go get your stuff packed up, please. Olivia, you too.”
Olivia shot up and ran after her brother.
“Sorry.” Jenna laughed a little and reached up, pulling the pencil out of the knot on top of her head. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders. It was dark brown with hints of gold near the ends and straight, not wavy like it was that day in my office. I watched her run her fingers through the ends. It looked soft.
I blinked. It looked soft? Why the fuck did I think that?
“Here.” I tugged my wallet out of my back pocket and pulled out some cash, handing it over.
I needed to pay her. Truth be told though, I also knew there was a good chance she’d quit fixing her hair if she was holding money. And I apparently needed her to stop drawing my attention to it.
“Thanks.” Jenna folded the bills together. Her hands stayed lowered.
Perfect.
“How was Marley?” I asked. “Did she give you any problems?”
“Oh my God, no. Not at all. She’s so good.”
“She went to bed okay for you?”
“Yep. No issues.” Jenna giggled when I shook my head, completely stunned. “I’m used to putting two kids to bed at once though, so one is a piece of cake for me.” She walked over to the love seat, slipping the money and her pencil into the outside pocket of her bag, then drew the strap over her head. The movement raised the hem of her shirt, revealing tanned skin above the tattered waistband of her cutoffs.
Jenna was a petite woman, which put her a helluva lot shorter than me. But she was all legs in those shorts. They were small and frayed along the edges. A bit uneven. I wondered if she’d taken scissors to a pair of jeans and made them herself. I wondered if she had freckles on other parts of her skin.
When she kicked her sandals away from the sofa to slip them on, an action that might require her bending over, I quickly looked away before I began wondering anything else.
Jesus. Get a fucking grip, Nathan.
“I made ziti for dinner. There’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.”
I looked at her then. I had stuff around here to make ziti? “Did you go to the store?” I asked.
“No. I couldn’t. You didn’t leave me a car seat.”
I cursed under my breath and gripped my hair. “Sorry.” She smiled at me. “I didn’t even think about that. My parents have their own, so it’s never something I worry about.”
“It’s okay. You had everything I needed for dinner. Ziti only takes a few ingredients.” Her expression tightened as she straightened up, hands curling around the strap across her body. “I didn’t even think about feeding us when I asked if I should feed Marley. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first.”
“Jenna, you can eat my food,” I said, holding her gaze. “If I haven’t made it abundantly clear already, you’re saving my ass here. You can do whatever you want. I’m not going to have a problem with anything you do. Same with your kids. I promise.”
“Don’t tell them that,” she warned, smiling at me and then giving that smile to Oliver and Olivia when their quick footsteps padded into the room. “Are you guys ready?”
“Yep,” they answered in unison.
“I stuck a paper on your fridge with a few notes about Marley,” Jenna said, pausing on the porch while her kids raced to the car. “Just stuff for me to remember. If you think of anything, feel free to add it.”
“I doubt I have anything, but okay.” I held the edge of the door and pressed my shoulder into the frame. Oliver’s and Olivia’s voices carried out into the night. The house was still and silent behind me.
I fucking hated it.
“I’ll give you a car seat tomorrow. And a key,” I told Jenna.
“Great. Same time?”
“Yeah, if you can.”
“I can.” She smiled big and bright at me under the light. Jenna didn’t look a bit exhausted from spending
the day chasing after Marley and her two kids. She appeared eager for tomorrow, to do this all over again.
Where the hell had this woman come from?
After they drove off, I locked up and headed into the kitchen, wanting some of that ziti she had made. I didn’t care how late it was. I’d skipped dinner earlier so I could keep working. I looked over the paper stuck to the front of the fridge while my plate heated in the microwave.
Marley’s Likes:
Hide & Seek
Stories—let her read to you. It’s cute!
Coloring
Playing house (kitchen set)
Music—loves to dance!
Walking on the beach
Dislikes:
Shoes
Nap—put her down around 12:30
*Rock her to sleep.
The microwave had stopped sometime during my third read-through, and the only thing I could hear now was my slow, even breathing. Jenna told me she’d written this down for her to remember, and yeah, that was possibly the only thing motivating her to do this. She didn’t know my daughter. Having a list like this would make things easier on her until Marley became more familiar. But my own daughter wasn’t even familiar to me. And Jenna knew that.
This list wasn’t just for her.
I pulled the paper down and memorized it while I ate.
Chapter Five
JENNA
Go slow, Ollie!” Olivia said, her voice tight with panic.
“I am. I am.” Oliver forced out a deep breath, cracked his knuckles, then cautiously reached for the Jenga block he’d chosen after a two-minute in-depth strategic discussion with his twin.
Olivia bit at her nails and fought the urge to bounce as she stood beside him. “Oh my gosh,” she whispered.
“Watch. Watch him.” I spoke quietly in Marley’s ear and pointed at the ongoing game.
She stood between my legs while I sat on the sofa, my arms around her so she wouldn’t lurch forward. And, boy, she wanted to lurch. Marley loved collecting the Jenga blocks. She was currently hoarding three.
“I’m so stressed,” Olivia said, pressing her hands to her cheeks.
