by Elsie Davis
Mark, on the other hand, had zero interest in sports. Always the accountant, never the sportsman. No one could have predicted he would have a heart attack at the age of fifty-three, and it seemed crazy to think he was gone forever. He’d done his best, but the two of them were on opposite sides of the spectrum. But Gemma was glad her mom had him in her life. She was a beautiful woman who hadn’t deserved the life she’d been dealt. Being a single mother hadn’t been easy, but she’d made it work.
The question now became, what did Gemma do with the information? It wasn’t as if she could undo what she’d learned, not that she wanted to. What was done was done.
Gemma pulled up the internet browser on her phone and typed in Chad Andrews. Within seconds, she had tons of information at her fingertips. She scrolled through the listings to get some of the most up-to-date facts.
Career Status: Retired. Two-time PBR champion.
Residence: Hallbrook, New Hampshire. Seriously? He’d moved back after he retired, which meant if they’d never left Glen Haven, maybe she would have found out about him sooner.
Marital Status: Single. Never married. Serves him right.
Children: None. Total lie. She was tempted to update the website, but just couldn’t make herself do it. She didn’t want to be his daughter, so announcing it to the world served no purpose. It was better left alone.
Hallbrook.
Katie Daniels still lived in Glen Haven. Maybe it was time to pay her friend a visit, and while she was there, she’d stop in to pay a visit to dear old Dad. The timing couldn’t be better. With her mother leaving town for a few days, she wouldn’t have to worry about her being alone.
It was an opportunity to confront her birth father, give him a piece of her mind, and then leave without ever looking back. Gemma wanted closure on a past she once dreamed of, a past made impossible by the choices Chad made twenty-four years ago.
She closed the album after she finished going through every article, shaking her head in disgust. It was one thing to think of your dad as some loser who’d just moved on with his life. It was quite another to realize he’d moved on to chase his dreams and ride the rodeo circuit instead of sticking around to help raise his daughter.
It didn’t matter that both her parents would have been eighteen years old, and it didn’t matter if it was an accidental pregnancy. He should’ve stuck around, and he should’ve been there to watch her grow up.
Gemma went in search of her mother and found her in the kitchen. “Did you know he moved back to Hallbrook?”
The guilty expression on her mother’s face was all the answer she needed. “Yes.” Her mother twisted the dishtowel in her hands.
“I’m going to see him,” Gemma announced, confronting her mother with her decision.
“I think that’s an excellent idea. I’m sure he’d love to meet you.” Wait, what? Not the answer she expected.
“Probably not. I’m not going for a friendly visit. I just want to give him a piece of my mind—for both of us. I want closure.”
Her mother moved to stand next to her, reaching out to touch her arm. “It was a long time ago, honey. Maybe you should give him a chance.”
“Why would you of all people want me to give him a chance?”
“Because sometimes people change. We make mistakes. We make choices we regret. I fell in love with your father for a reason. It just didn’t work out for us. Give it time to find out how you feel, and if you still don’t like him, then walk away. Trust your judgment, but only after you’ve met him.” Tears rolled down her mother’s cheeks, and she brushed them away.
The last thing Gemma expected was for her mother to defend her father. It was almost too much to bear. “We’ll see.”
Chapter Two
Gemma drove through Hallbrook, a small town that used to have two stoplights, two diners, and a handful of businesses, including an old theater where plays, movies, and music could be found for nightly entertainment. They also had the typical post office, police station, fire department, and of course, their own medical center. It was an old town from back when sidewalks were built and used by people out for an afternoon stroll. The brick buildings stood the test of time, the glass windows decorated with signs, advertising the latest sales.
Nothing much had changed here except now there were a few more stoplights and a few more businesses down Main Street. She suspected the same would be true in Glen Haven. They were sleepy little towns where everybody knew your name. When they’d moved to Syracuse, Gemma had been twelve years old. Losing her friends on top of dealing with her daddy issues hadn’t left her receptive to any of the changes. The move, her mother’s marriage, or Mark.
She’d known to visit would dredge up old memories, but this was a trip long overdue.
Brody sat up; his tongue practically glued to the window as he peered out at the wooded area from the front passenger seat. “Don’t get much of this at home, do we, boy?”
She’d had him since he was a puppy, and his golden retriever playfulness and cuteness had won her heart over. He leaned toward her to dole out a doggie kiss. “You’re such a good boy. We’ll stop soon, and I’ll let you go potty. Just a quick stop at Chad’s, and then I’ll find a place to let you out. I promise.”
He’d have to stay in the Jeep when she visited Katie since her friend was allergic to animal hair, so letting him run around first would make it easier on him. She followed the GPS directions until she arrived at her destination.
Whispering Pines Ranch.
Gemma passed under the wooden archway and started up the gravel road. This was crazy. She should have stuck with her plan and visited Katie first. Maybe then her friend could have given her advice. Or at the very least, prepared her better for this meeting. She stopped the Jeep, shifted into reverse, and started back down.
At the end of the driveway, she waited for a vehicle to pass before she could pull out onto the road and leave.
Just do it. Get it over with. Nothing would make this easy. She took a deep breath and put the Jeep back in drive. Gemma drove slowly, taking in the forested area surrounding the driveway, noticing the woods were washed in a sea of fall colors with leaves in every shade of red and orange as they blanketed the ground. Following the driveway to the top, she parked near the steps leading up to the house.
The log home was simple in its design, nothing fancy. It loomed high and massive on top of the hill, beautiful and welcoming with a wraparound porch. Dark brown logs with chinking in between reminded her of the primitive cabins used in the olden days. It had a rustic appeal. The detached garage was equally impressive, resembling a barn more than a traditional garage.
The fenced pasture off to the right and down the hill was well kept. Several horses grazed in the field, the image sending a twinge of jealousy rocketing through her body. She loved horses and missed being able to ride since she and her mom left Glen Haven.
“Stay, Brody. I’ll be right back, and then I’ll take you somewhere to run. I promise.” She patted him on the head, receiving a doggy lick in understanding.
Gemma exited the Jeep and made her way up the stairs. One step at a time. One breath at a time.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Gemma trembled as she waited for someone to answer. Partly from the cold, but mostly from nerves. She bit the inside of her cheek, took a deep breath, and let it all out, hoping to ground her emotions long enough to say what needed to be said and leave.
She glanced around the porch, trying to discover hints about the man she expected to meet for the first, and hopefully, the last time in her life. A pair of muddy boots. A jacket slung over a rocking chair. A saddle rested on a sawhorse, gloves, and cleaner on the table nearby.
Her stomach clenched. This was real. The moment she’d dreamt of since she was old enough to remember was at hand. If he answered. The pounding in her ears grew louder as she rapped her knuckles against the heavy wooden door of the log home for the second time.
She glanced back to check on
Brody. He might be two years old, but sometimes he could still be such a baby, and this was one of them. His yaps tugged at her heart, but it was better if he stayed in the vehicle. Gemma didn’t expect to be there more than five minutes, but it was long enough for Brody to potentially pick up a scent to follow through the woods. Not to mention, the likelihood of him finding deer droppings to roll around on and smear into his fur would be high. There was no way she wanted to drive back to Syracuse trapped in the confines of her Jeep with the foul-smelling odor of deer feces.
Gemma was beginning to think no one was home. Waiting around hadn’t been on her agenda. She turned to leave, but a voice called out from inside, causing her to stop and wait.
The words weren’t clear, but it was a man. This could be it. She took a deep breath and stood tall, her shoulders back.
Time slowed as the door opened, stopping completely when she stood face-to-face with her dad.
Correction. Her birth father.
“Gemma?” Shock registered on his face, but it wasn’t any greater than her own, his instant recognition rendering her speechless.
He stood well over six feet tall, dressed in faded blue jeans, worn cowboy boots, and a flannel shirt. He wore cowboy like a second skin. Tanned from the years spent in the sun, the crinkles at the sides of his eyes were the biggest giveaway to his age. Her research on him had provided tons of pictures, but nothing could have prepared her for the reality of meeting Chad Andrews, PBR’s rodeo darling. The man everyone loved. Everyone, it would seem, except her and her mother.
“You know me?” She hated the confusion in her voice and the desperate need to ask in the first place. If she intended to keep the upper hand, this was not the way to do it.
“I'd know you anywhere, sweetheart. You’re my daughter.” He stepped back and held the door wide open. “Is your mother okay? Would you care to come in?”
Sweetheart. Know me anywhere. His words kept repeating in her head, but it didn’t help them make any sense. And there was no masking the concern in his voice when he asked about her mom.
Everything she’d rehearsed over and over for this exact moment flew from her brain like an eagle taking flight. To call her confused would have been a gross understatement. She glanced back at Brody and then back at Chad.
Focus. Remember why you’re here. Confronting him was the only way she’d find out what kind of a man could walk away from his unborn child and never look back. To know the truth would keep her from making the same mistake her mother had when she’d fallen in love with a guy like Chad. And confronting him was her one opportunity for closure to the ache buried deep in her heart. An ache recently unlocked when she discovered the album.
“Mom’s fine.”
A hint of relief crossed Chad’s face. Odd reaction for a heartless man.
“How do you know me?” She ground out the words as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, using them as a shield against any emotion other than disgust for the man standing in front of her. His words didn’t mean a thing.
“I may have been missing in action, but I’m not oblivious to the fact I have a daughter. And even if I hadn’t kept up with you any way I could, I’d recognize your fiery red hair, sapphire blue eyes, and freckles anywhere. You’re the spitting image of your mother when I met her. Absolutely beautiful.” Chad grinned, pushing the door open a bit farther, his invitation clear.
He’d kept up with her? Her head started spinning, his words not at all what she expected. His cocky smile may have won her mother’s heart, but it wouldn’t work on Gemma. Apparently, his arrogance knew no bounds. This wasn’t a social call.
“Out here is fine. I’m not staying long.” Years and years of resentment surfaced. She hugged herself tight for comfort and strength.
“Okay.” Her dad stepped out on the front porch, closing the door behind him.
“If you know so much about me, do you know Mark Watson, my stepfather, died recently?”
“I heard, and I’m sorry. Seeing you here is quite a surprise, a nice one I might add.”
Except she wasn’t there to be nice. “I just wanted to meet the man who sired me. The man who didn’t want me. The man who didn’t care enough to stick around.” There, she’d said it. Except somehow, the words didn’t bring her the satisfaction she had hoped for once upon a time.
“I’m sorry, Gemma. I know it sounds lame, but it’s all I have. I was young and stupid. The PBR was calling my name, and I left, like a fool.” He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, his hands rubbing the back of his neck.
“It is lame. You’ve had twenty-four years to change the decision. You left the PBR years ago. Do you have any idea how hard it was to be a little girl without a father? To be the girl who misses out on all the father-daughter dances. To be the girl who doesn’t get to go to bring-your-daughter-to-work day with her dad. To be the girl who doesn’t have a dad to take her to her softball games. Or practice with her and show her how to throw and catch. To be there for her when she’s hurting. To be like all the other girls who had daddies that adored them.” Everything came rushing out, and once she’d started, she hadn’t been able to stop.
Tears welled in her eyes and slipped down her face unchecked. She’d meant to be strong, but standing there in front of him, it was just like she was the little girl who wanted her daddy all over again.
Chad took a step toward her, indecision written on his face. He started to lift his hands up as if wanting to embrace her, then let them drop. “I’m sorry. I honestly never thought of it that way. We did what we thought was best based on the situation. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but trust me, I’ve regretted those decisions every day. But you had your mother, and I knew she would give you more than enough love for the both of us. I couldn’t have given you what you needed. Not back then. Nothing will ever make up for the mistake of leaving, and I understand that completely. I’ve missed my chance with you, and it’s no more than I deserve.” Chad shook his head, genuine sorrow in his pained expression. But it didn’t change a thing.
“You’re right about that. For years, I thought about meeting you. Thought about what I would say. I realize now it was a mistake coming here. Saying the words out loud to your face doesn’t make the emptiness go away. I should go.”
Nothing could ever wipe away the years she spent wondering about her dad, or the envy she felt of the other girls every time Gemma caught them exchanging a special father-daughter smile. It would be better if she closed that chapter of her life again and went back to the way things were before she discovered his identity.
“You’re welcome to stay for a visit if you change your mind. I’d always hoped we’d meet someday.”
“How can you say something like that? You’ve never even tried to meet me.” Gemma turned to leave.
“I’d love to explain, but I can’t. And I wish you wouldn’t leave. Even if only for a couple of hours, I’d love to talk to you. Get to know you.” The sincerity in his voice made her stop at the first step.
Just walk away.
A tiny piece inside of her wanted to believe. Was desperate to believe he cared. The same tiny piece that as a child never stopped hoping he would return for her one day. She didn’t want to listen to the voice, but it was there, in her head, refusing to be shoved aside and ignored.
Gemma glanced at Brody, sitting up tall and watching her from the front seat.
Woof. Woof.
Indecision came with a price. She either needed to leave or let Brody out, but not doing anything wasn’t a choice.
“I don’t know. I didn’t come here for a friendly visit. I wanted answers you don’t seem inclined to share, and I wanted you to know the pain you caused me. My dog, Brody, is in the Jeep, and I need to let him out to go to the bathroom.”
“So, let him out. We can take a walk and talk. I don’t have the answers you want regarding the past, but maybe, just maybe, you could find it in your heart to spend some time with me. Get to know me. I’m a
much better man than I was at eighteen, or so I’d like to hope.” He smiled but didn’t seem all that sure of himself.
Her heart beat faster, sending a rush of adrenaline coursing through her. Her dad wanted her to stay. She didn’t want to care, but a tiny seed of hope had sprouted, demanding attention.
“I’m sure I’ll regret this, but maybe you could take Brody for a walk? Let him stretch his legs. I’m not sure if I’m up to turning this into a social visit, but I did want to stop at a friend’s while I’m here. She’s allergic to animal fur, and Brody would have had to stay in the Jeep. I should be back in an hour or so, and I’ll let you know my decision. You can handle responsibility for a dog I take it?” The dig slipped out, but she didn’t care. It was a valid question considering his history.
“Absolutely. Does he enjoy swimming? There’s an old quarry on the property that’s filled with water, making it a three-acre pond. It’ll be a fantastic way for him to exercise after being cooped up in the Jeep.” Her dad didn’t miss a beat when he accepted her offer.
She had to be out of her mind to even think about sitting down for a conversation with him. But the fact that she kept thinking about him as her dad was proof she needed to think this through. The man was nothing more than a birth father, and yet something inside her saw him and cared.
Brody would love it there, and she wouldn’t deprive her baby the chance to swim and romp in the woods before she loaded him back into the Jeep and headed for home. At least this way if the dog managed to find deer droppings, it would be Chad’s responsibility to clean him up.
She opened the back passenger door to get the dog leash, Brody dancing and yelping a few times in excitement as he twisted back, trying to see her. The oversized dog squeezed through the opening between the two front seats, trying to get out the vehicle quicker.
Gemma patted him on the head. “Hang on, Brody.” She managed to hook the leash on his collar just before he pushed past her in his eagerness to be free.
She held the leash tight. “Easy, boy. Calm down. I know it was hard being cooped up for so long.” He continued to jump, close enough to her leg that a couple of times he almost knocked her over. It was a bad habit of his she’d tried to break more than once. “Sit.” Gemma stroked his head as he obeyed her command. “Good boy.”
