by J. S. Cooper
What happened if I said or did the wrong thing? Would she fly to Mexico or to New Zealand? No. I needed to know that we were both in this together and that she could forgive me and want to give me a new chance without me completely baring my soul to her. I’d let her know when the time was right. But I had to find out that she actually cared and loved me for who I was and accepted me for all my faults.
I had grown and matured, but that didn’t mean I might not still fuck up many, many times.
Chapter 13
Birdie
I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. I’d known Nellie almost half my life, and at one point, we’d been as close as sisters. I had nothing to be nervous about. This wasn’t a blind date or something. This was my ex’s kid sister. Someone who had been like a sister to me. I was okay. I walked into the restaurant and up to the maître d’.
“Hi, my name’s Birdie. I’m meeting someone here.”
“Hm, let me check. And the name of the party you’re meeting?”
“Her name’s Nellie, Nellie Beauregard.”
“Ah, yes. The young woman from South Carolina, I believe.”
“Yeah, that’s her. She’s here, I take it?”
“Yes. Follow me, ma’am.”
I followed him into the restaurant. It was pretty swanky and I was surprised that Nellie had wanted to eat here. I thought she’d want to go to a cool burger joint or something, but maybe that was because that was the sort of food I liked. I spotted her right away, sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant.
“Birdie!” She jumped up, her long blonde hair swaying. She hurried over to me and gave me a big hug. “Oh, Birdie, you look absolutely beautiful!” She stepped back and gazed at me. “Oh, I’ve missed you. San Francisco’s treating you well, isn’t it?”
“Oh, Nellie.” I looked at her as well. “You have grown up to be a very beautiful young woman. I’m so happy to see you.” I smiled at her. “Shall we sit?”
“Oh, of course. I’m starving.” She laughed as she caught me looking around the restaurant apprehensively. “Don’t worry, Birdie. Hunter’s not here. I promised you, remember?”
“I know, but you know Hunter.”
“Yes. He’s my brother. I know him very well. And he wanted to come, but you know I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I know you wouldn’t, but sometimes he doesn’t listen to either one of us.”
“I know, but he knew I would kill him if he came. He knows how much I’ve missed you, and I wouldn’t want him to ruin this for me.”
“Aw, Nellie. I’ve missed you as well.” I smiled at her. “How’s life been?”
“Well, do you want the good, the bad, or the ugly?” She grinned.
“Oh, no. That great, huh?”
“You know how it is. Boys suck. College sucks. My parents suck.” She shrugged. “Just about everything in my life sucks. But, hey, at least I got to come to San Francisco for the week!”
“Yeah. Well, that was nice of Hunter to treat you.”
“I wouldn’t say that he treated me out of the kindness of his heart, but …” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh, Nellie.” I laughed. “I know Hunter. And I’m sure that he did it because he wanted you to have fun.” Even I wasn’t believing the words that were coming out of my mouth.
Nellie smirked. “You know as well as I do, Birdie, that the last thing he cares about is me having fun.”
“Oh, that’s not true.” I paused. Having dated Hunter for such a long time, I knew how much his sister meant to him, even if he didn’t always express it to her. “You know he loves you, and you know you’re the best little sister he ever could have had.”
“I’m the best little sister anyone could have had. I’m the best little sister that you had.” She gave me a pointed look.
“Yes, you were, Nellie. And I miss you. You know I would have kept in contact with you if it were not for how everything went down with Hunter.” I made a face. “But let’s not talk about him. How’s school? What’s your major?”
“Oh, I change majors almost every other week.” She shook her head. “I have no idea what I want to do. Obviously, my parents don’t know, and Hunter doesn’t know. I tell them one thing or the other, but I’m thinking maybe I want to be a model.”
“Well, you’re certainly beautiful enough to be a model.”
“You really think so?” She grinned.
“Of course I think so. Why would I lie?”
“I know, but my parents would kill me if I told them I wanted to be a model.”
“Well, yeah, I guess that’s not really a job for a Beauregard.”
“No, it’s not.” She shook her head. “I think Mommy just wants me to get married, and I think Daddy just doesn’t care.”
“Well, could you not work at the bank?”
“Oh, that sounds dreadfully boring. Work at the bank. Really, Birdie?” She pulled a doleful expression. “Can you really see me working at the bank?”
“No, actually, I can’t see you working at the bank. Let’s see. What about acting?”
“Acting’s no better than modeling. You know that.”
“True, true, true.”
“I might as well try out for Miss South Carolina if I’m going to—” She paused and gave me a quick look. “Oops. Sorry.”
“Hey, nothing to be sorry about.” I looked down at the menu. We both knew she was thinking about Victoria Venice, Miss Teen South Carolina. That ho. I took a deep breath. “So, what do you feel like eating?”
“Oh, pasta of course. I love pasta. I shouldn’t really eat it, but I told myself that when I’m on vacation, I can eat anything that I want.”
“You don’t eat pasta?”
“No. No carbs. Don’t you know? You can’t eat carbs if you want to stay skinny.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m not so skinny, then.” I laughed.
“Oh, you’re perfect, Birdie. You’re absolutely perfect! But if I want to be a model, and especially if I want to be a catwalk model, I have to be a size zero, and pasta, well, pasta goes right to your hips. And if it goes to my hips, I’m going to go up to a size eight. And I can’t be a size eight. At least, not until I have kids. Then I’ll have an excuse.”
“Oh, Nellie, you always say the darnedest things.” I laughed.
“So, do you miss Hunter?”
“Huh?” I was taken aback. The question had come out of nowhere. “Weren’t we just talking about pasta, and you being a size zero?”
“Yeah. And that’s meaningless talk. Let’s talk about what we both really want to know.”
“Um, what do we both really want to know about, Nellie?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “Are you sure Hunter’s not here?”
“Of course Hunter’s not here.” She sighed. “He actually had a letter that he wrote for you, but he wouldn’t let me give it to you, and I think I can’t really tell you what it said, but let’s just say that he knows he messed up. And I just want to know, woman to woman, do you miss him?”
“Nellie, I’m not really sure what you’re asking me here, and I’m not really sure what this letter is about.” I paused. “But I don’t think we should be having this conversation. I thought we were just going to catch up, and—”
“Birdie, I love you. I really love you. And I want you in my life, like, permanently. I don’t want you to disappear again, and I also think that you and my brother—”
“Me and Hunter are done,” I told her firmly. “Like, done, done, done. It’s over. We’re never getting back together.”
“But you don’t love him anymore? Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love him.”
I looked her directly in the eyes. “I do not love Hunter Beauregard.”
“Really, Birdie?”
“Do I have to say it again, Nellie? I do not love your brother. I have no feelings for Hunter Augustus Beauregard III whatsoever. Never will again in my life. I don’t care if pigs fly. I don’t care if cows join the military. It’s not going
to happen.”
“Cows would never join the military. If anyone were to join the military, I would think it would be foxes, ‘cause they’re cunning.”
I couldn’t help laughing.
“What? I was just saying, right?” She grinned. “And also, have you heard of that saying?”
“What saying?”
“I think the lady doth protest too much?”
“Okay. And that means?”
“I think that you’re going on and on and on about how much you will never love my brother because you still love him.”
“No, I don’t!”
She grinned. “I think you do.”
“Nellie, this is grown-up talk, and—”
“Really, Birdie? You’re only three years older than me.”
“I’m four years older than you, remember?”
“Okay, fine. You’re four years older than me, but you’re not like, a decade older than me. I know what you know.”
“Then you know exactly what happened because everyone at college knew what Hunter did to me.”
“Yeah. We heard what he did. He was an asshole. He was an idiot. All those football guys are idiots. He has them over to the house, and they say the stupidest, dumbest things. None of them has a serious girlfriend, and none of them will have a serious girlfriend as long as they hang out with each other.”
“He still hangs out with those idiots?” I rolled my eyes. “Of course he does. He will never grow up.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Nellie replied. “I think he’s ready to grow up. I think that …” She paused. “Oh, what does it matter? I guess I’m not going to get through to you.”
“I’m sorry, Nellie. I’ve moved on with my life. I have four amazing friends, and they have the most amazing guys that really love them, that would do anything for them. And I look at their relationships, and that’s what I want. I want a guy who really cares about me, who really loves me.”
“So you want a guy that’s going to make a statement, huh?”
“Yes. I want a guy that’s going to make a statement. But a good statement, not a crappy one like Hunter.”
“Yeah. My brother is a goof.”
“Your brother is one of the most immature men I’ve ever met in my life.”
“Well, I’m not going to say he’s not, because that would be a lie.” She nodded. “So, fine. Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?”
“Um, really?” I looked at her in surprise. “We’re dropping the subject of Hunter already?”
“Yeah. I figure if you’re not into him, you’re not into him. I did my best, and that’s all I can do, and now we’ll move on. And I would love to go shopping. They have Armani, and they have Chanel, and they have Valentino, they have a Louis Vuitton … And Hunter gave me his black Amex. Do you know what that means?”
“No. What does that mean?”
“It means I have an unlimited credit line. I can get whatever I want, and I want it all! I want to go to Tiffany’s, I want to get some—”
“Really?” I started laughing as I stopped her. “Nellie!”
“Yes, Birdie?” She said with a sweet, innocent smile.
“You cannot spend all your brother’s money.”
“Why not?”
“You just can’t!”
“I can. He won’t mind.”
“Come on, now. We both know Hunter would mind.”
“Oh, you see?” She gave me a sweet smile. “Always looking out for his best interests.”
“No, I’m not looking out for his best interests. I’m looking out for your best interests because we both know if you spend off a bunch of money on his credit card, he is going to kill you. And I don’t want to be responsible for that.”
“Fine. I won’t go to all the stores. What about if we just go to Tiffany’s? I really, really, really want this tennis bracelet.”
“A tennis bracelet?”
“Well, okay. Maybe not a tennis bracelet. But maybe a necklace, with a heart?”
“Maybe, if it’s under $500.”
“They don’t have anything under $500 at Tiffany’s.”
“I’m sure you can find something.”
“So, you’ll come with me?”
“Maybe. I’ll see what I’m doing.”
Of course, I didn’t have plans for the next day because all my friends were doing stuff with their boyfriends. And yes, I’d been invited, but no, I didn’t want to be the fifth wheel. Who wanted to be the only single person with a bunch of couples? Not me.
“So, Birdie. Can I ask you a huge favor?” Nellie batted her eyes at me.
“What’s that?” I already knew I was going to regret this.
“Will you unblock Hunter’s number?”
“What?”
“Just for tonight.”
“Because why?”
“So that he can call you.”
“But I don’t want to talk to him.”
“Please, Birdie, please? You don’t have to see him. Just talk to him. Please? Just for five minutes.”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“Please? For me?”
“Fine. I’ll block it.”
“You mean unblock it.”
“Yeah. That’s what I meant to say.” I grumbled. “I’ll unblock it for the night, and he can call me if he wants to call me, and I will allow him one conversation. If I don’t like what he’s saying, I will hang up.”
“Yay!”
“I don’t know why you’re saying ‘yay.’ I told you, if I don’t like what he has to say, I’ll hang up, and I will never unblock him again.”
“I don’t think you’ll block him again.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely be blocking him again. I just don’t know if I’ll unblock him again.”
“Oh, Birdie. I love your hair, by the way.”
“Thanks.” I touched it half-consciously. “My friend, Olivia, introduced me to this really awesome hairdresser. She blows it out for me, and it’s amazing.”
“It looks amazing. Just like you.” She looked me up and down again. “You look really happy. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I wanted to say I thought you were awesome.”
“Awesome about what?”
“When you left Hunter, and you walked away, and you came to San Francisco, that was really strong and brave. And I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but I really admire you. You stood up to my brother, and I know that was hard to do.”
“It was really hard,” I admitted. “It was really, really hard.”
“You came out here by yourself. And I know you, Birdie.” Her voice softened. “You’re like me. You don’t like to be by yourself, away from your friends and your family, but you did it. And you know what? Even though you blocked Hunter, I’m glad you did, because he was an asshole to you, and you didn’t deserve that. But, hey.”
“Yeah?”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, and you know what, it’s your choice to make. I respect your decisions, because you’re a strong, confident woman, and I want to be more like you.”
“You can stop buttering me up, Nellie.”
“But when Hunter calls?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you really listen to him? He’s changed. I know you might find that hard to believe, but he really has changed, and he’s matured and, well …” She paused. “He’s my brother and I love him. And it would mean a lot if you just really listened to him, you know? Without being angry.”
“I’m not even angry anymore. I just don’t—”
“It’s okay if you’re angry, Birdie, but don’t take that hostility into the call, okay? Because then you won’t really be able to listen to what he has to say.”
“When did you get so wise, Nellie?” I looked at her in surprise. “You’re younger than me, yet you seem more mature.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe it was because my own heart was broken recently.” She sh
rugged. “And maybe it’s because I didn’t want to give him a chance. I don’t know. But I just know that if you go into the call feeling angry and hostile, you’re not going to leave the call feeling anything other than that. Go in with an open mind, okay?”
There was a long pause. “I’ll do my best,” I finally agreed.
“As soon as we leave, I’m going to tell him to call you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Just be kind to him. I know you might not think so, but he was really hurt as well when you left.”
“Really? I mean, I don’t know what to say to that. It’s his own damn fault.”
“I know,” she nodded, “but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt him, you know? Guys are idiots, Birdie, and a lot of guys fuck up, especially when they’re young. And there are some things that are unforgivable. And do you know what? Hunter is pretty close to that line, but he didn’t cross it. And I think you’ll find that he’s more than ready to make amends. And I think you’ll find that if there’s anyone that deserves a second chance, it’s him.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said with a small sigh. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
Chapter 14
Hunter
I couldn’t believe that Nellie had gotten Birdie to accept a phone call from me. I didn’t know what to say, but I wasn’t going to allow that to stop me. I quickly put her number in the phone and listened to it ring. I was just about to curse then hang up when she picked up the phone.
“Hello?” She didn’t sound happy.
“Hi, there.”
“Hello?”
“I said hi there, Birdie. It’s me.”
“Who’s me?”
“It’s Hunter.”
“Oh. Hey, Hunter.” I could tell she was just pretending not to recognize my voice. “What’s going on?”
“Not much.”
“So why did you call me, then?”
“Are you going to be this difficult? I wanted to talk to you.”
“Obviously you wanted to talk to me, and that’s why you called me. So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Wow,” I said. “I’m not used to this side of you, Birdie.”
