And she didn’t want him to give it up until he was ready.
That was only one of the things she wanted to tell him when he finished his final ride this weekend.
Because of Anders’ status and fame and Axel’s history of being a top-tier bull rider for a couple of years, they had far more backstage access than most fans. Diego, Axel and Cruz’ adopted eight-year-old son had been in heaven meeting so many of the bull riders, eating snacks in the VIP section, and raking in the souvenirs. Tinsley wanted time alone with Anders, but she didn’t want to mess with his focus.
“I’m sure giving him a big juicy kiss won’t cause him to fall in the dirt,” August teased her as she kept looking around for Anders, hoping he’d show up before he left to get ready for his final ride.
“Show doesn’t start for another hour. You have time.” Catalina smiled at her. “Just go find him and say hi.”
“They’re probably performing secret, manly rituals,” Cruz teased. “Are they very manly?” she asked her husband.
“Very,” Axel said. “So much testosterone you’d choke.”
“I’ll find him for you, Tinsley.” Diego, Cruz and Axel’s adopted son, made as if to dash off.
Axel caught his shoulder. “Slow down, little man. Your sleuthing would defeat the purpose of Tinsley finding Anders.”
“Nooooo,” he groaned, pulled off his cowboy hat and slapped it on his knee. “She’s not going to kiss him is she?”
Everyone laughed, but Tinsley was too nervous, too excited to laugh. Maybe she would just try to catch a peek of him. She knew where they hung out doing last-minute stretches, listening to music, or getting taped up to ride. She’d helped Anders tape himself up when he’d come home from a couple of competitions. By the end of the season, even with the extended break before the finals, the bull riders were pretty beat up.
Tinsley still had her badge from the distillery, and she slung it around her neck along with her family member access pass, and went to try to catch Anders. She knew not to bring up anything serious, but they hadn’t talked privately all week or this weekend and she just wanted…she just needed to see him. To touch him. To wish him good luck on this important ride.
She didn’t care if he won. She wanted him to survive without injury.
She smiled without humor, remembering her mother berating her for not winning one of her jumping championships because her horse had stumbled. “Why do it if you aren’t going to win?” Her mother had shrugged off her injury and pain and had never attended another event. Tinsley had been twelve.
“Not you, little man or girl.” Tinsley rested her hands over her slight baby bump. “You can be the slowest runner and I’ll still come to every race.”
She heard Anders before she saw him. She paused, just soaking in the timber of his voice, and it took a moment for her to clue in on what he was saying.
“Give it back,” Anders said, good-naturedly. “You’ve had your fun.”
“Seriously, Anders Wolf. You have a list of the attributes of a perfect wife on your phone. You’re twenty-five, not Viagra time. Where is smokin’ hot in bed?” Tinsley thought it was a bull rider named Chris Stevens—it was his first year on the tour. “Where’s go down on you in your truck on your list?”
“Maybe he does need Viagra. Is that your new sponsor?” Dean Sims chimed in.
“Listen to this,” Chris read off. “Sounds like something Martha Stewart or Rachael Ray would post.”
“Give it back, Chris. I was just goofing when I was bored. It was a long time ago.”
“This is a new phone, bro. I know because I went to the Apple store with you a few months ago. Check this out. This is how Anders Wolf starts his perfect wife list.”
“He did not call it that,” a bull rider she didn’t know objected.
“He did. Hand to God. Number one. Not after my money.”
“That’s okay,” Dean said. “I’m cool with that.”
“But number one?” Chris laughed. “And the virtues continue. Not too fancy. Used to hard work. Ranch-raised. Wants to raise our four kids on the ranch and stay home with them.”
“Four kids? You’re gonna have to get off that ball you’re always standin’ on, cowboy,” Dean snickered.
“What else?” someone demanded.
Tinsley had heard enough. She turned and walked back to the family section. The Wolfs had already sat down, not waiting for her. Why? Because she wasn’t family. Not really. They’d accept her, but she wasn’t Anders’ choice—not one thing about her. He didn’t want her. He just wanted his kid on the ranch. He’d resigned himself to try to mold her into an acceptable choice.
Just like she’d been molded all her life.
“Did you see Anders?” Catalina made a kissy face.
“Yeah. He’s…good,” she said lamely, not sure what else to say.
Catalina laughed and covered Diego’s ears. “I’ll tell him you said that. His kisses are good, not great, not fantastic, not amazing, not heart-stopping, not melting—just good.”
Tinsley watched the crowd, the antics of the clowns, the circus that was the finals without seeing any of it.
She’d never thought she’d be perfect.
She just didn’t know how imperfect Anders really found her. Perfect for a fling, but not wife material.
That’s okay, she bolstered her flagging spirit and aching heart. She hadn’t wanted to be a wife. She should have stuck to her rules. She’d be fine co-parenting without being married. Anders deserved to find a wife who’d be his perfect fit.
*
Anders retrieved his phone from the idiots, and after checking for a message from Tinsley—nothing—he shoved it in his bag. He rarely talked to anyone in the final hour before competition started. Not that he was a big intellectual like Kane and needed alone time like others needed to breathe, but he liked to settle his mind and body and let the training, the experience, and adrenaline do its work. Muscle memory and his super-human sense of balance would do the rest.
He wanted this. Kane wanted it. But Anders wanted it more.
The AEBR was milking Kane’s retirement announcement for all it was worth and attempting to crown a new successor.
Him.
God, he loved this. The stakes. The tension. The hype. He felt invincible.
Anders made his way to the chute. He’d stretched and had the physical therapist work on him some. He felt ready. Humming. He ran over the moves he’d seen Hellfire—the bull he’d picked—make over his past handful of performances.
Kane was waiting to mount up. He saw Anders. Normally, they just hip-checked each other before a competition, maybe head bobbed. Sometimes they offered advice if it was a tricky ride, but at the finals, every ride could be your last if you weren’t on top of your game.
Kane nodded. “You get a good luck kiss from your girl?”
“Nah, she’s with my family,” he answered.
“Oh. Saw her walking toward the back area ’bout an hour ago. Thought she was looking for you.”
He wouldn’t have minded getting a good luck kiss. He missed her. He’d laid down his ultimatum. Now he had to stick to it just like he intended to stick his next ride.
Kane was up. Anders jumped up to assist. Kane was in the zone. Fierce. But Anders still wanted it more. Kane was already thinking about being home full time, building his stock contracting business and the bull breeding, buying back his mother’s family ranch from the grandfather who didn’t want to sell but was finally thinking about it.
And him?
He was waiting on a girl.
He stayed up to watch Kane’s ride. The chute slid open and Bad Monkey pulled his signature move and reared his head back so fast the crowd screamed, but Kane was ready. He stuck the ride no matter what stunt Bad Mo, as his owner affectionately called him, did. He was feeling the lights, the crowd, the energy, the love, and he gave it his all, but Kane just seemed to float on top of the bull.
Kane made something so hard look so eas
y. He popped off several beats after the light and buzzer signaled success. Bad Mo continued to rock and roll as if soaking up the admiration. The crowd was on its feet. Usually Kane waved a few times and got out of there, but since this was his last go-round he soaked in the standing O.
“Ninety-two.” Axel, who had joined him at the chute, said admiringly. “Nothing to it. Another day at the office.” He lightly gripped Anders’ shoulder.
“Whew.” Anders blew out a breath. He was the last man in contention. And he had next to no breathing room. “Kane sure does love to crank the tension.” He needed to have one of his best rides of the season. They were still neck and neck after the weekend of competition. Kane had the edge.
“You got this,” Axel said.
Anders nodded. It was nice to have his brother attend the finals. Heck, it was nice to have his whole family watching him. And he was going to give them something to cheer about. “See you after my win.” He shoved in his mouth guard and closed the straps on his helmet. Then he mounted the chute.
Hellfire was restless in the stall, shifting back and forth and crashing against the metal. Anders watched while Hellfire was prepped. Part of him wished his brother had come up with him or Kane, but he was fine on his own.
He adjusted his gloves, checked the ties on his boots—although he knew they were tight—pictured himself floating above the bull even as he dropped down, tucked his feet back, and began wrapping and rewrapping his grip as he felt the massive animal shift under him. He closed his eyes and felt the animal’s muscle tension and energy.
He adjusted his weight and moved forward. He didn’t want to overthink, but he did want to take a moment to absorb the fact that he’d made it to the finals and still had a chance to take it all.
Fortune favored the man or woman who would jump into the fray and wrestle fate into submission.
He checked his grip one last time, adjusted his seat until he felt in his sweet spot. One last breath in the dark, and then he opened his eyes, stared at the middle of the bull’s shoulders, and nodded his head.
The sound of sliding metal jacked his adrenaline off the charts, and he was out of the chute, Hellfire dropping low, spinning right, then rearing up and then down again. The front hooves hitting dirt sounded like thunder, and Anders, left hand held high, counterbalanced. Two more nearly vertical kickouts and then a right spin, dropped left shoulder and then a left spin like Hellfire had decided to flaunt all laws of physics.
Anders felt glued to the ride. The crowd—a blur of color and light—seemed to be on their feet. He couldn’t hear the buzzer, but he saw the light. He counted one and then two as he looked for his opening to launch himself off. He dropped the rope and threw himself clear, running for fence and hurdling over.
He’d seen his fair share of bull riders stick the ride but get hurt on their dismount or in hesitating to get out of the way.
He waved to the crowd, figuring he’d done his job and Hellfire had done his.
Ninety-two point two-five!
He’d won. When combined with his scores over the finals, he had eked out a win! By a quarter of a point. He hopped down, waved to each side of the arena, and then hopped back over.
The first one to greet him was Kane, who slapped his back and congratulated him.
He was then swept up in the AEBR champion PR blitz.
This was what he’d wanted, the win, but it would have felt sweeter with Tinsley by his side.
*
Tinsley sat in her hotel room and debated calling an Uber to the airport. She was supposed to meet the Wolfs at the after-party. She’d never felt less like celebrating. She’d broken her rule by getting involved with Anders, and she’d broken another by falling in love.
“Love,” she muttered. She hadn’t wanted to love.
She caught her reflection in the mirror; her lips were twisted much like her mother’s had been last week at their unexpected and horrible reunion.
She jumped up. It was like seeing a future ghost of herself. Maybe her mother was so negative and so angry because she hadn’t had love and she hadn’t been able to love.
“But I love,” Tinsley said to her frightened reflection.
And that was the problem. She had fallen hard, head over boots in love with a man who had a perfect wife list that sounded nothing like her.
She may not have wanted to be a wife, but she wanted love. She’d never had it and now, she finally admitted to herself, she wanted love and needed love.
Then she remembered Anders’ ultimatum. If she had a problem with him or was hurt or pissed off, she needed to come to him, talk to him. There was even ass-kicking involved. Why should she run away again? Lose the life she’d started to build and enjoy? Take her baby away from a family who would love it?
She’d been running for too long. She’d even packed her bag except for the dress she’d bought for tonight after Catalina and Cruz had pressed her into splurging on it. But she would not be heading to the airport tonight, and she wasn’t going to hunt for another job.
She was making her stand—in Last Stand.
That was appropriate. Tinsley jumped to her feet. She’d showered before she’d thought about running, so she’d only be half an hour late or so. If Anders wanted a piece of her mind, she was going to give it to him, and so much more.
She changed into a deep orange, clingy dress with a low back. She added makeup and left her hair hanging down her back in waves.
“Ready or not, here I come.” She gave a last look in the mirror, first pouting her lips sexily and then trying out a smile.
Hell no. She didn’t look like her mother. Not now. Not ever.
She flung open the door, determined to march into the rest of her life.
Anders lounged against the doorframe, beer bottle dangling from his fingers. He looked from her to her packed bag.
“Running away again, darlin’?”
*
What was Tinsley wearing? She looked Beautiful. Stunning. Edible. And elegant in a way he’d never once aspired to. And she was leaving.
“Only place I’m going tonight is a party. I have an invitation.”
“That so?”
“I have a date with the champion bull rider of the world.” Tinsley cocked her hip and brow and looked so damn sexy and edible that he didn’t want to go to the party.
He pushed his way inside her room, closed the door and leaned against it.
“What if your champion’s not really the dating type? What if he’s into commitment, marriage, family settling down and only bringing his wife to parties.”
“A wife, huh. The perfect wife.”
“Ah shoot, Tinz, did you hear those idiots? Kane was right and you did come looking for me?”
“The only idiot is the person who wrote that list.”
“Can’t argue with you there,” he said pushing off the door so he could get closer. “I was a dumbass writing that list. I didn’t know jack. I think because I didn’t have a mother for most of my life, I had this idealized version of what a wife and mother would be and I held on with both hands.”
“So…” She reached out a finger and stroked down the mother of pearl snaps of his shirt. “You no longer want those things?” She sounded uncertain, and he found he liked it better when she challenged him.
He caught her finger and sucked it into his mouth. She caught her breath and her eyes flared with heat.
“What’s on your list now.”
“You. I love you, Tinsley. Have for a long time. I love your fire and your drive and your humor and sense of adventure and creativity and business savvy and everything. Total package. I love you and I want to marry you. I want to be a family with you.”
“Really? What changed your mind?”
“You. Time. The baby. Damn, Tinz, you’re so beautiful inside and out you hurt my eyes.”
“Beauty was not on your list.”
“Neither was so sexy that I am in perpetual pain from wanting to bury myself inside your body
.”
“I want to work.”
“Then work.”
“I want to be partners, not just follow your lead.”
“I don’t want less than or more than equal, although I do love the way your eyes go honey-gold when I rile you up.”
She stepped forward so that they were almost touching. She looked up at him, her lips a whisper away. “I don’t want you to change for me,” she said. “I don’t want you to quit the tour until you’re ready. I want you to quit on your terms.”
He ran his hands through her loose hair. It flowed through his fingers like liquid flames. “I’ll admit tonight felt pretty damn good. Riding makes me feel so alive. I love everything about riding bulls, but I don’t like the distance, and I can already tell the time apart from you is going to be hard.”
“I miss you too,” she admitted. “And I’ll take some time off and travel with you sometimes.”
He pulled her tight into his body and buried his face against her neck. His heart felt so full it hurt.
“It killed me to meet your mother,” he said. “I hated how she talked to you and treated you. You are a treasure, and yet I don’t think she ever once realized your value or how she has been blessed, and these past few days apart gave me time to think that I don’t want to make the same mistake. You are perfect for me. Perfect as you are. Perfect woman. Perfect wife. Perfect mother of our children.”
“Don’t say anything else.” Tinsley sniffed and blinked hard. “You’re going to make me cry and I have a party to go to.”
“You got the champion in your room.” He smiled at her, happier now than he had been earlier when he’d won. “We can make our own party here.”
“Later, cowboy.” She levered her body back, nipped his jaw and stared up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “This is your night, and I want you to fully embrace it.”
He loved her strength, but her vulnerability got him every damn time.
“I got everything I want right here, Tinsley. Everything.”
“And this is only the beginning.” She took his hand, kissed it and placed it over her baby bump. “The beginning of us.”
A Baby for the Texas Cowboy Page 20
