by KaLyn Cooper
The doctor nodded once. “Alex, she will never be the same. You have to prepare yourself for that. She will have memory loss. She may not even recognize you or anyone else. She will be slow to process thoughts and words. It will be a long journey back to what may never be a normal life. You need to be ready for that and decide if you’re going to be there to help her through what could be years of therapy. She’ll need occupational, physical, and probably speech therapy.” The doctor looked down at their joined hands. “It will never be the life you two had planned, assuming that you had planned a life together.”
Alex couldn’t imagine a life without Katlin—but that was the woman he knew before the explosion. The Katlin who would wake up in three days might be a totally different woman.
She may not even recognize him, know how much he cared for her. She might not know that he loved her. Would she remember that she was his best friend? What if she had forgotten everything? The years. The tears. The fears. Everything that they had shared might have been wiped out of her memory.
When they had gotten engaged, it had been a promise for a long-term commitment. Forever. But they had never actually planned that life together. There were no wedding plans in place. No house they would call a home. There hadn’t been time, or so they told each other. They had just found each other again and hadn’t been in any hurry to move beyond what they had. Because of her job, and the black ops he occasionally took, they’d agreed to live every day as though it were the last. They both understood the reality of their situation. Tomorrow was never guaranteed.
“Thank you, doctor,” Alex managed to say around the tightness in his throat. “Please let me know what I need to do to help her wake up.”
“Talk to her as though she were awake. You can remind her of things you’ve done in the past, but once she wakes up, you must let her regain her memories on her own. You can invite family and friends to come visit her, as long as they abide by those rules.” He smiled as he glanced at the heart monitor. “She knows you’re here.” Checking his watch, the doctor announced, “I need to get home to supper. I’m looking forward to spending the evening with my family.” The doctor waved as he left the room.
Alex heard him talking for a few minutes with Gina and Top Cooper before he heard the front door open and close.
“I made up the bed in the room across the hall in case you decided you wanted to stay here,” Gina said as soon as they walked in.
Alex hadn’t given a thought as to where he’d sleep that night. His entire focus had been on reaching Katlin. He glanced at the sitting room attached to the master bedroom where two rocker recliners faced a fireplace with the television above it. He could sleep in that chair. He’d be close to Katlin, able to keep an eye on her. Then he noticed the bag of knitting and the purse next to the other chair in the room. That must be where the nurses relax, he thought.
When Alex didn’t respond, Gina added, “It’s a very lovely room. It has its own attached bathroom. All the bedrooms in this gorgeous house do.” She smiled broadly. “This whole house is beautiful. I wish we’d been able to afford this neighborhood when Jimmy retired.”
Alex raised his gaze to the loving couple in their mid-fifties. “Your name is Jim?” Alex raised an eyebrow. He’d only ever known the man as Top, referring to the nickname of his former military rank.
The older man scowled. “No. It’s Jimmy.” He threw his arm around his wife. “Gina is the only person who’s allowed to call me that. Everyone, and that includes you, calls me Top.”
Changing the subject, Alex gave Gina what he hoped was a thankful smile. “I really appreciate you preparing the bedroom for me. I can work from here just as easily as I can from the office at Guardian. I really don’t want to leave Katlin.”
For the first time, he glanced around the house. It was quite beautiful. In the setting sun, he could see a large backyard with forty-foot-tall deciduous trees. The property line seemed to be defined by large holly bushes whose sharp pointy leaves would deter any intruders.
Alex knew this was just one of many safe houses that his company owned. Well, technically, Katlin owned them, and Guardian Security rented them from her. Alex had always been surprised at how many times alphabet agencies inside the Beltway called in need of a safe house.
“How many bedrooms does this house have?” Alex wondered aloud.
“This one has six bedrooms and six baths.” Top smiled, leaning over and kissing his wife. “Sweetie, even though Alex pays me well, we still couldn’t afford this house now and sure as hell couldn’t have afforded it five years ago on an enlisted Marine’s retirement. This house is worth about a million and a half, even though it’s fifteen years old.”
“Katlin remodeled it a few years ago.” Gina replaced one of the small bags dripping down the tube into Katlin’s arm. “Have you seen that kitchen? She had all the old wooden cabinets replaced with solid wood sleek white ones and new stainless-steel appliances. The black and white granite countertops look just amazing with the black, gray, and white subway tiles she used in the backsplash. She has a remarkable eye for color and design.”
Alex wondered if Katlin would still have that talent in a few days when she woke. He tuned out Gina as she raved on about the house, the perfect patio for entertaining, large backyard for their grandchildren to play, and finished basement where Top could make his man cave.
The alarm system beeped.
“That must be Karen.” Gina looked at Alex. “I hired her and two other nurses to care for Katlin. We’re pulling twelve-hour shifts. And before you ask, yes, Jimmy vetted each one of them. I worked with all three of them when I was the charge nurse in the ICU. I negotiated a fair price for their time.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the money.” Alex looked at the beautiful woman in the bed. “I trust you, Gina.”
“Thank you.” She turned and left the room to open the door for her replacement.
“While they handle the shift change, why don’t you go get settled in the room across the hall,” Top suggested. “I think both you and the nurses would be more comfortable if you didn’t sleep in this room. Our D.C. Center cook has stocked the refrigerator and will have lunch and supper delivered to you.” The cook at the D.C. Guardian Center was one of the best, in addition to being a wonderful woman. Secretly, he was glad he wasn’t expected to prepare anything beyond microwaved meals and sandwiches.
“There’s an office that looks more like a library down the hall on the right, just before you get to the living room. Operations Control has this place covered five by five.” Top Cooper seemed to have everything in place. “If you don’t leave here, Jack’s spies can’t follow you. If by chance he discovers this place, the house on the other side of the back fence is one of ours, too.” Top chuckled. “Katlin always wondered if we ought to dig a tunnel between the two.”
“Not a bad idea.” Alex wondered how they could do it without having to pull a city permit. He also liked the idea of staying put. He truly did not want to leave Katlin’s side. “What are we doing to ‘find’ my fiancée?”
Top grinned. “Brett is having a field day supposedly tracing her bank accounts— not the real ones, of course—and leaving a trail that a blind man could follow. He’s also placed inquiries with Guardian Security contacts around the world. No real names are being used and the descriptions are relatively generic. I also sent a few men to question people at the hospital.”
“How did that work out?” Alex didn’t want his men to become a nuisance, especially since the hard-working men and women had already been questioned several times by different alphabet agencies.
Top’s grin broadened to a full-on smile. “Nathaniel got a date with that cute little freckle-faced nurse.”
Alex grinned. “I like Nancy. I hope that works out for them.”
Gina stepped into the room and introduced Alex to her nighttime replacement. After eating some beef stew he checked on Katlin, sitting with her for thirty minutes before he found the library
, settling in to work. He took a break every hour, checking on the woman he loved, stretching his legs, determining exit strategies. At one point he strolled around the block and entered the other safe house, just so he was familiar with the layout.
Before going to bed, Alex visited Katlin once again, giving the nurse a lunch break. He talked to her about the escape house in his now-familiar one-way conversation. In the morning, he jogged the neighborhood after kissing her, touching her, and checking all the constantly recording machines. Breakfast with Katlin, a chat with Gina, work broken up with visits to the woman he loved more than life, lunch with Kat, more work, and more visits, was his life for the next two days.
Each evening, Dr. Tobias stopped in and checked on Katlin, adjusted her medicine regiment, and warned Alex that she wouldn’t be the same woman upon waking.
On Alex’s third night in the safe house, the doctor announced, “We’ll bring her out of the coma tomorrow morning. We have to be prepared to put her back under, though, if she starts fighting.”
“What do you mean put her back under?” Alex hadn’t heard that possibility mentioned before.
Gina put her hand on Alex’s forearm. “Quite often when someone awakes from a long-term coma, in their mind they are still in the midst of the accident. They have no concept of the amount of time that has passed. In Katlin’s mind, she may believe she is still in Iraq and under fire. Her initial response may be to defend herself and her team. It’s not unusual for a TBI patient to wake up swinging.”
Dr. Tobias chuckled. “I’ve had more than one black eye from an awakening soldier. Trying to hold them down, or restrain them to the bed, just makes it worse. Our research has shown the best way to wake up a TBI patient is to do so slowly, talking to them the entire time. A familiar voice is even better.”
“I’ll be here.” Alex would do whatever he must in order to make things easier for Katlin.
“Then I’ll see you in the morning.”
After Dr. Tobias left, Gina hugged Alex. “I’ve been through this several times.” She glanced at Katlin’s still body on the hospital bed. “She’ll do just fine. And so will you.”
Later, when the night nurse took her lunch, leaving Alex alone with Kat, he crawled onto the hospital bed and lay next to her. He desperately needed to be close to her.
Alex had been to Mass more often since Katlin returned to his life than he had at any other time, except when he was a child. As he slid his arms around her, he silently prayed that she would miraculously be all right, that God would send her back to him whole.
We’ve just found each other again. Please, don’t take her from me. I can’t lose her. We’ve been through so much together. Lost those three years. I pray it is your wish for us to be together. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, amen. He crossed himself and cuddled into the most important woman in the world.
“Come back to me, Kat, all of you,” he whispered into her ear, then kissed her an inch below. She sucked in a quick breath, not the slow steady breathing he had heard for days. It shocked him. He sat up and stared at her, but the breaths were slow and steady.
Maybe he was imagining it. He kissed her neck and distinctly heard another quick breath. Maybe it was a sign. He hugged her tightly and soon his breathing matched hers as the physical and emotional exhaustion of the past weeks caught up to him. He fell into a deep sleep.
When the night nurse returned, Alex’s eyes popped open. She smiled as she saw the two of them together on the bed. After glancing at the monitors, she covered them with a blanket. “Sleep there. It’s good for both of you.”
More thankful than he could believe, Alex let out a long breath, releasing all his pent-up tension. He fell into a deep sleep; the best he’d had since the last time they shared a bed. On some level, Alex was aware of the night nurse performing her duties. Mostly, he was aware of the warm woman tucked in beside him.
At six-thirty the next morning, Alex was immediately awakened by the opening of the front door. Gina and Top were talking but were shushed by the night nurse. Dr. Tobias followed them in and announced, “Let’s wake her up.”
The nurse on duty giggled. “You’ll have to wake up Alex first. He slept with Katlin last night.”
Alex gave Katlin one last squeeze and was rolling off the bed as the four of them entered.
“No, stay there,” the doctor ordered. “It would be very normal for Katlin to wake up with you in bed with her, right?”
“Yes,” Alex replied. As often as possible.
“I’m going to reduce the medication now, making her wake up.” The doctor adjusted her IV line. “Talk to her, Alex. Tell her who you are. She might start fighting as she awakes, thinking that she’s still in the bombed car, so be prepared. You need to tell her that she’s all right. Reassure her that she is safe now.”
Dr. Tobias swept his gaze over everyone in the room. “I want all of you to prepare yourself for the fact that she might not remember you. Even if she does, she might not remember occurrences from your past together. Let her regain her memories on her own. If you happen to mention something that you did together, or that happened to the two of you, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t remember it. Don’t tell her about it. Tell her that when she remembers it, you’ll have a good laugh together.”
Katlin stirred, then gasped in a breath. Her whole body writhed, but not as though she was fighting. It seemed more like stretching. Alex placed his palm on her cheek and said, “It’s time to wake up, Kat.”
“Un, uh,” she croaked and tried to roll over. Alex pulled her gently toward him.
“She’s going to rely on her core personality to guide her,” the doctor pointed out as Katlin continued to awaken. “From what you’ve told me about her, she’s friendly but doesn’t trust easily. Most likely, that distrust will be even more prevalent. There may be other parts of her personality that she’s suppressed that you may see now. These are all normal responses from a TBI patient.”
“Come on, sleepyhead, time to wake up.” Alex ran his thumb over her lips, slippery with the balm.
Katlin took even deeper breaths and began to open her eyes.
Alex could practically feel Kat’s gaze scrape over him, but her head never moved.
She quartered the room with her gaze, taking in everything, saying nothing. It was a survival technique taught to special operators. Many could pretend to still be unconscious yet crack their eyelids to assess their surroundings. Katlin’s eyes were wide open.
“Welcome back,” the doctor spoke first. “Do you know who you are?”
“U.S. Navy Lieutenant Commander Katlin Callahan.” Her voice was so gravelly they could hardly understand her.
“May I give her some ice chips?” Gina offered.
Katlin nodded her head. “Please,” She said in a whisper.
Gina raised the bed slightly and spooned the ice into her mouth. “This should help with the dryness.”
Katlin’s eyes continued to dart around the room.
“Do you recognize anyone in this room?” Dr. Tobias asked her.
She smiled as she looked at Alex the way she did every morning when they slept together, lovingly, and contentedly.
“Alex.” Her voice was hoarse from lack of use.
She knew him.
She. Knew. His. Name!
“Yes, Kat, I’m here.” Peering into her beautiful blue-on-blue eyes, he ran the back of his finger over her soft cheek.
She pinched her eyebrows together as though thinking hard. “Why is everybody in our bedroom?”
Could it be a miracle?
Could she have returned to him whole?
Dare he hope?
13
“It’s time to wake up, Kat.”
The voice was so far away it didn’t seem real.
The situation she was in was real, though.
Her team was in trouble.
Every muscle in Katlin’s body hurt, especially her head. Her ears were ringing from the explosion.
Man on the roof.
RPG.
Her team.
Katlin had to get to her team.
She had to protect her team members.
Where were the others?
She reached for the weapon in her thigh holster but her whole body screamed in pain.
Glancing around the upended SUV, she couldn’t see anyone. Everything was a glare of white.
She was in the backseat, behind Jonathan. Tori was to her side. She should be able to reach out and find Tori.
Nothing. What the hell happened to Tori?
Leaning forward, she blindly tried to find the front seat. Fucking hell, her head hurt.
“It’s time to wake up, Kat.”
Alex? He wasn’t on this op. She must have misunderstood.
The bad guys were trying to get her out of the crashed SUV.
“No. No.” She pulled away from them. She couldn’t let them take her.
Where the fuck was her gun?
“Come on, sleepyhead.”
She wasn’t sleeping.
Was she?
Had she had another nightmare? Oh, God please make the nightmare stop, she prayed. Sometimes, she couldn’t force herself awake from some of the nightmares. She tried to wake up, but her brain would just suck her back into the madness.
No. No. She had to wake up. She didn’t want to be pinned in an SUV with bad guys reaching for her. Trying to grab her. She couldn’t find her fucking gun.
“It’s me, Alex.…I’ve got you, babe.”
Alex had her?
“Time to wake up.” Repeated in her head.
Alex was calling her. It was his voice. She was sure of it.
She had to make her way back to him. Alex held her heart. He was her life. He was her future. He was…everything. She loved him.
Forcing in a deep breath, she tried to clear her head.
Almost there.
“Time to wake up, Kat.”
