by Elle Casey
“Okay, so write one word on each piece of paper and then fold it in half. Put them in a pile in the middle of the table.” Aimee moved some of the dishes and glasses a bit to make room as she continued her directions. “Put nouns and adjectives only. Use words that describe us or our lives or our dreams for the business.”
After ten minutes of pens tapping on foreheads and chins, interrupted occasionally by spurts of scribbled creativity, there was a small mountain of papers folded up in the middle of the table.
The waitress came to take their dishes away and three sets of hands shot out to cover the pile in the middle.
Elizabeth looked up apologetically. “Sorry. We want to keep these.”
The waitress rolled her eyes and cleaned up the table, avoiding their mess in the middle.
As soon as she was gone, Aimee said, “Okay. So, we pick out two papers and see if it gives us a good name. Elizabeth, you go first.”
Elizabeth took out two slips of paper and opened them up, smiling as she read their contents.
“Don’t leave us in suspense. What are they?” asked Kiki.
Elizabeth laid them out on the table.
HOT CAKES.
“Hot cakes. Hmmm. Uh, no. I don’t think so,” said Aimee, confirming with the others that it was a negative.
“Try again,” said Kiki. “Your turn, Aimee.”
Aimee picked out two papers and put them on the table.
TALENTED TARTS.
Kiki spoke first. “I’m seriously tempted.”
“My turn,” said Elizabeth, putting the slips back into the pile. “I’m afraid we’d have a hard time getting signage for that name. People would think it was a whorehouse.”
Aimee burst out laughing and quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry. Go, Elizabeth. Your turn.”
She put her two choices down in front of her.
COOKIE ASSKICKERS.
“Now I’m tempted,” said Aimee, trying to look serious but clearly failing. She hid her smile behind her glass, clearing her throat a couple times.
Kiki grabbed several papers and just started opening them. She shuffled them around on the table, face-up, putting several in a row.
HOT COOKIE ASSKICKERS.
Elizabeth reached over and moved some.
TALENTED HOT MUFFIN BADASSES.
“Who put all the superhero words in here?” asked Kiki.
Aimee raised her hand halfway. “Guilty. I was inspired by your gunslinging. I couldn’t seem to help myself.”
Elizabeth tried again.
DESPERATE TALENTED HOT MUFFIN SEXY ASSKICKERS.
“This is not working,” said Kiki, staring at the words.
“Maybe we should use a computer program,” suggested Aimee. “They have these things on the Internet that will pick random words for you.”
“But it shouldn’t be random,” said Elizabeth. “I don’t think we need to go to desperate measures to just pick a good name for our business. This should be the easy part.”
“I like that one,” said Kiki.
“What one?” asked Elizabeth, looking down at the papers. “HOT SEXY TARTS?”
“No. Desperate Measures.”
“I don’t see that here,” said Aimee, searching the pile.
“It’s not in the papers. Elizabeth just said it. Desperate Measures. It kind of describes us. We all reached a moment of desperation in our lives, and we took desperate measures to move forward. And now we’re about to do something really amazing as a result.”
Elizabeth pursed her lips, mulling the idea over in her mind. “Not bad. I like it.” She looked at Aimee. “What do you think?”
“Well. I like that it has ‘measures’ in it. I’m going to be doing a lot of that with the cooking. And I do feel pretty desperate right now.”
“You guys don’t think using the word ‘desperate’ is going to cause people not to come in?” asked Elizabeth.
Kiki shrugged. “I don’t see why it would. Who hasn’t been desperate at least once in their lives? Everyone should be able to identify. In this economy, everyone’s feeling a little desperate. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with people.”
Aimee slapped her hand down on the table. “I like it! I vote, yes!”
“Fine,” said Elizabeth, putting her hand down on the table, palm down. “I vote, yes, too.”
“Make it three,” said Kiki, sweeping up all the papers into her hand and crushing them into a ball. “Desperate Measures it is. I assume you’ll do the formalities with the State?” She looked at Elizabeth for confirmation.
Elizabeth nodded. “I’m on it today. As soon as I leave here.”
“Awesome,” said Aimee. “So what’s next?”
“You and I have to go finish putting all that stuff away,” answered Kiki.
“Yes, and we have lots of other things to do. I can put together a task list right now if you’d like.” Elizabeth looked to the others, and as soon as she saw their acquiescence, she took out her portfolio again. She got busy writing down three lists - one for each of them - doing her best to make sure the work was divided as evenly as possible. She tore off the sheets and handed one to each of the girls, explaining as she did. “Okay, so Aimee, your job is to let us know exactly what you’ll need in the way of equipment and supplies. That means you need to get your recipes together and work on that menu. You make a proposed menu, and we’ll all vote on it. Once you have our approval, you tell me what ingredients you need and in what proportions. I’ll do some estimating of customer order volume and with the costs of those raw materials, we’ll be able to calculate our costs of goods sold.”
“Um, you lost me about part way through that explanation,” said Aimee, looking worried.
“Don’t fret. I’ve written it down, step by step. First thing is menu development. Then, equipment and ingredients. Once you have that together, I’ll give you new things to do. Essentially, you’ll be in charge of getting the kitchen set up so it operates efficiently for you and the menus you envision.”
Aimee nodded her head, looking less worried. “Okay. Menus I can handle. And equipment.”
Kiki was reading over her list. “I can get started on this today. I’ll call that realtor. I already have a couple locations I noticed that went empty this past year in mind. One was already some sort of restaurant, so maybe we can save some money there with build-out.” She pointed to something on the list. “What’s this? I think it says ‘project board’?”
“You’re in charge of decor. I was thinking you could put together one of those boards that has fabrics, paint chips, pictures of furniture and that kind of thing. Show us the vision you have for the space. You probably can’t do all of it until we actually have the space picked out, but you could do some.”
“Oh, I’m all over this, baby. I’m already in the paint store in my mind right now.” Kiki’s eyes were gleaming.
“What else is on your list?” Aimee asked Kiki.
“I’m supposed to work on the business plan too. Let’s see … I need to give a synopsis of the business goals, the market for our products and location, and … I saw it somewhere here … oh, yeah - I have to do a SWOT analysis. Whatever that is.”
Elizabeth explained. “It’s strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. It’s a marketing exercise that helps you go through the motions of evaluating your position in relation to your competition. We need to know all these things so we can develop our brand in the most effective way.”
“We’re going to have a brand?” asked Aimee, sounding impressed. “That’s so cool.”
“Yes. We are going to develop a brand. Then people will recognize us, and if we decide to open more locations, it will make it easier to ramp up sales in a meaningful and efficient way.”
“I’m getting the feeling efficiency is important to you,” said Aimee, not unkindly.
“It’s the accountant in me. Sorry. I just know that it’s lack of efficiency that sinks businesses.”
“I’m perfectly okay w
ith anyone’s obsessive tendencies entering the picture so long as they enhance our bottom line,” said Kiki. “We all have our issues.”
“What’s yours?” asked Aimee, playfully.
“I hate frumpiness. I will have to insist that we and our employees look nice while we work.”
“I’m okay with that,” said Elizabeth.
“I’m okay with it in theory. But I will admit to being frumpy probably way too often. It’s more comfy to cook frumpy than fancy.”
“I’ll make sure your uniform is comfy, don’t worry. But I cannot tolerate frump. Besides … you’re a beautiful girl. You need to show it off more.”
“You’re silly. I’m at least fifteen pounds overweight and too lazy to do anything about it.”
“You and me are joining the gym later. I’m not dancing anymore, so if I don’t go, I’m gonna get wide.”
“I need to get into the gym, too,” lamented Elizabeth. “I’ve always worked too many hours to fit it in.”
“Well, we’re going to end up working more hours than we ever have in our lives, but I’m not going to let that stop any of us from doing what we need to do to take care of our bodies. Why don’t you join us, Elizabeth? Come to the same gym.”
“Yeah!” agreed Aimee. “We can sweat and oogle cute guys together.”
“Which one are you thinking?” asked Elizabeth.
“Club 30. They’re all over. They even have them downtown and in the shopping district I was thinking about, so we can transfer our memberships to be near work, if you want.”
“Excellent idea. I’ll do it with you. Just tell me where to sign.”
“Let’s go now!” suggested Aimee. “After lunch. We’ll do it all together.”
“We’ve got time,” agreed Kiki.
“Good. Let’s do it. I’ll follow you over.” Elizabeth grabbed her purse and took some cash out of her wallet, leaving it on the table with the check. “Thirds everyone?” she asked.
“Thirds,” confirmed Kiki, putting her part down.
Aimee added to the pile and handed it to Elizabeth to count.
Once she was sure it was all there, Elizabeth put it back on the table and stood, the others joining her.
They left the restaurant and hugged out in the parking lot. “I’m so excited that we decided to do this,” said Elizabeth. She felt like singing and dancing right there in public, but she restrained herself. Just barely.
“Me too,” said Aimee. “This is going to be the funnest, most exciting thing I’ve ever done.”
“Ditto,” said Kiki, kissing Elizabeth breezily on the cheek. “Follow us to Orange Ave. I know a shortcut.”
“Good. See you soon,” said Elizabeth, getting into her Buick. She smiled at herself in the rearview mirror. Desperate times called for Desperate Measures. No truer adage was ever penned.
Chapter 19
AIMEE WAS PSYCHED. SHE COULDN’T stop humming all the way to the gym. She paused in her wordless rendition of Walking on Sunshine to mention, “I haven’t belonged to a gym in ages.”
“Me neither. I’m terrible about exercising. I need a partner to keep me going. That’s going to be your job.”
“Ha! That’s going to be your job for me. I hate exercising. But I’ll do it, I promise. I know I need to.”
“Consider it a gift to yourself. You deserve to feel and look good. Not that you don’t look good now, because you do.”
“I could stand to lose a few. I know that. But you’re right. I’m tired a lot and I know it’s because I’m out of shape.”
“And you’ve been stressed, too. That doesn’t help. But don’t worry. We’re going to get both our butts in shape and never look back.”
Aimee looked askance at her. “You don’t have an ounce of fat on you anywhere. You’re already in shape. Promise you won’t laugh at me in aerobics class or whatever. I’m not very coordinated.”
“I’m not going to laugh. Dancing kept me in shape, but that’s obviously no longer an option. So if I don’t start exercising now, I’m gonna start spreading, and that is unacceptable. Asses run big in my family. Like axe-handle-wide big.”
Aimee laughed. “Asses run big on me, forget my family.”
Kiki smiled, negotiating the traffic, glancing in her mirror as she did.
Aimee turned around, making sure they hadn’t lost Elizabeth. “She’s still there. Do you think she’s excited?”
“Elizabeth? Yeah. I think she is. She had a shit job, too, like me. You had a shit husband. We were all in the shits.”
“You’re telling me. I’m so glad she’s doing this with us. She’s so organized, and it seems like she really knows about businesses.”
“Yes, I agree. She’s smart as hell.” Kiki turned into a parking lot and negotiated the Camaro into a tight spot. The place was packed.
“You seem to know a lot about money, too,” said Aimee, worried about being nosy, but not quite able to keep herself from wanting to know details.
“I grew up with very little. I always swore I was going to have nice things when I got older, and I knew I had to be smart about money to make that happen. So I educated myself. And my brokerage is good about giving me all kinds of free info on the market.”
“The market?”
“Stock market. I’ve been investing for years. Since high school.”
“I don’t really know about that stuff. I hear things on the news, but it’s all Greek to me.”
“I could teach you. It’s not that difficult. I don’t do anything crazy. I’m mostly a buy and hold kind of girl, but I’ve done well. I stick with stocks of companies I like personally, and so far, that strategy has never let me down.”
“That’s so cool. So you’re like that guy … Jimmy Buffet.”
“Huh?”
“You know. That guy. The financial guru who’s like a gajillionaire.”
Kiki seemed to think about it for a second before the light of understanding dawned across her face. “You mean Warren Buffet.” She chuckled.
“Jimmy Buffet, Warren Buffet, same diff.”
“Yeah. Just a cheeseburger in paradise apart, I think,” said Kiki.
Aimee laughed, unbuckling her seatbelt, now that they were parked. “That’s why I like you, Kiki. You don’t judge.”
Kiki shrugged. “Who am I to be doing that? I made my fortune shaking tits and ass in front of drunk pervs.”
“Yeah, but I’ll bet you did it with style,” said Aimee.
“You bet your cherry tarts, I did.” She turned off the engine and unclicked her seatbelt. “We’re here. Let’s go get physical.”
“Oh no, you did not just Olivia Newton John me.”
“Oh, yes I did, and I’d proudly do it again. Don’t make me bust Grease out on your ass.”
Aimee held up her hands in surrender. “I give. Please. Have mercy on my soul. I’m hopelessly devoted to keeping you happy so you won’t feel the need to do that.”
Kiki stuck out her tongue before she got out of the car and said, “Don’t tempt me. I had a crush on Danny for years. I’m still not completely over it.”
Elizabeth joined them at Aimee’s side. “Danny? Danny who? Is that your boyfriend?”
“No. She’s talking about Danny in the movie Grease. John Travolta.”
“He was cute,” agreed Elizabeth. “Still is.”
“Elizabeth, I have some cookies for you in the car. Don’t let me forget to give them to you.”
“Mmmm, I love cookies. I won’t forget.”
They all walked into the gym together discussing the merits of musicals involving male dancers. Within seconds of stepping up to the front desk, they were accosted by a salesman who nearly started salivating when they told him they were interested in three new memberships.
As they took a tour around the gym, Aimee noticed Kiki getting agitated. She tried to figure out what was bothering her, but couldn’t put her finger on it. She touched Kiki on the arm to get her attention. “What’s up? Don’t you like the gym?�
��
“Yeah. Sure. It’s nice.” She seemed distracted.
“Something’s wrong.”
“No. I’m fine.”
Aimee frowned. Kiki wasn’t telling the truth and Aimee knew it, but she couldn’t force her to talk. Time for detective mode. Aimee narrowed her eyes. She was going to watch every move Kiki made, analyze her facial expressions, and ask enough questions until she figured it out. This was how she had eventually caught Jack with his cheating. Everyone has a tell. Everyone gives away secrets without realizing it. She just had to pay attention to details.
Kiki kept looking over at a part of the gym that had free-weights. They hadn’t gone over there yet because they’d all decided they weren’t the free-weight type. Aimee decided to up the ante with Kiki.
“Excuse me,” she said to the salesman who was in the process of negotiating rates with Elizabeth. She was giving him a run for his money if the frustrated look on his face was any clue. “I’d like to go see the free-weights area. I changed my mind about not using them.” She looked at Kiki’s face. Instant frown. Bingo! Something or someone is a problem for Kiki over in the free-weights.
“I’ll meet you guys at the front,” said Kiki casually, making a big effort to look nonplussed.
Aimee could see her stress as clear as day, and she wasn’t going to let Kiki get away with running from it. Not when Aimee was this close to figuring it out. She grabbed Kiki’s arm. “No, come with us. We’re workout partners, remember? We need to stick together. We can do this, right?” She raised her eyebrows in challenge at Kiki.
Kiki narrowed her eyes at Aimee. “You’re a sneaky little devil, you know that?”
Aimee winked at her. “I have been accused of worse.”
“Fine. I’ll go look at the free-weights, partner.”
“What am I missing?” whispered Elizabeth, bending over so she could reach Aimee’s ear.
Aimee whispered back, leaning close so Kiki wouldn’t hear. “She’s afraid of someone over there. I’m making her face her fears.”
“Who?”
“I have no idea.”
“Are you sure this is a good plan?”
“No. But it’s fun.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Well, then. Let’s go see the free-weights.” She straightened up and said in a regular tone of voice. “Bill, could you show us that area over there? We’ve changed our minds.”
