I was more like my mother than I wanted to believe.
* * *
I woke in the living room, still in my chair, with a hangover and my ringing phone clutched in my hand.
It stopped and I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my head.
Then everything came rushing back. I was supposed to wake up in Quinn’s bed this morning, with her pressed up against me.
Christ. I dragged my hand down my face. Quinn had been disappointed, had tried to get me to come over whatever time I finished at the bar. I’d lied and said I had a water leak and would be there all night fixing it.
I glanced down at the screen: a couple of missed calls from a number I didn’t recognize and a text from Quinn.
If you didn’t want to spend the night with me, you should have said so. Not interested in liars…not even casually.
Oh God. She must’ve gone to the bar. I’d fucked up.
I’d made a mistake. Staying here last night was a goddamn mistake. Yeah, I should leave her alone, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I’d let what Mase said get to me. Christ, she’d had enough assholes lie to her, treat her like nothing, like she wasn’t important.
I’d hurt her. Just the idea of me causing her pain tore me to shreds.
I was in my car heading to Quinn’s place when my phone rang again, that same number I didn’t recognize.
I quickly answered it. “Yeah?”
“Bull…it’s Dane.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’m in Rutherford…I’ve been arrested.”
“What?” I bit out.
I got a heavy silence.
“Are you hurt?”
“No.”
There was genuine fear in his voice, and it shut down any anger that had reared up. “On my way.”
* * *
Dane sat in my living room, his head in his hands. “Thanks for paying my bail.”
Cal was on his way over. I’d called on my way to pick up Dane. And my cousin had reacted like I knew he would. He was pissed. But when Cal was worried…scared, that’s how it surfaced. Dane knew this too. I wasn’t surprised it was me he called first.
Hopefully, the wait to see Dane had given Cal time to cool off.
I took Dane in. Christ, I felt like I was looking at that twelve-year-old kid who’d been taken away from us all over again. Except I wanted to knock some sense into him and hug the idiot all at the same time.
“What were you thinking?” I said.
Dane shook his head. “I wasn’t. I just…I wanted to see this guy for myself. I knew he wasn’t good enough for Everly, I just knew it.” He looked up at me, and he looked like he hadn’t slept for a week. “I was just going to hang back. I just wanted to be there if she needed me. Everly didn’t even know I was there. Then I heard him talking about her, saying shit…” He shoved his fingers in his hair. “That he’d never fucked a virgin. And then his friends were all laughing, telling him to get pictures and he…” Dane growled. “He had something, something to put in her drink. He said, ‘At least I don’t have to worry about her backing out at the last minute,’ and I…lost it, Bull. That fucking asshole was going to…force himself on my girl, and I lost it. I beat the shit out of him.”
“Fuck.” I would have done the same thing.
“His friends took it, the drugs, before the cops arrived, so it’s his word against mine.”
I wanted to beat the fucker myself. And I wanted to shield Dane from what was going to happen, but I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to help him.
Dane shot to his feet, eyes dark, and when he looked at me, the desolation I saw cut me to the bone. “She saw, Bull. Everly came in while I was hitting him, and I had no idea until it was over. Fuck.” He fisted his hair. “The way she looked at me…”
I closed the distance between us and pulled him against me. “We’ll get through this. I promise you. We’ll get through this together.”
He’d do time for this. And that was a lesson I would have given anything to save him from.
I fucking knew Dane was struggling. I knew it, and I hadn’t done enough to help him. He’d been a powder keg ready to explode for a while, and I’d been too focused on my own shit, on Quinn, to really see it. And now it was too late.
We were going to lose Dane all over again.
And it was my fault.
Chapter Seventeen
Quinn
Bull’s house was dark, no lights on.
He hadn’t been at work tonight, and after talking to Mase and then Cassy, I knew why, and I felt awful.
I knew Bull was nothing like Bevan or any of my exes. And going by his last text, apologizing again for not making it the other night, begging me to let him explain, I felt even worse. My brother had called me, had told me what he’d said to Bull when he was drunk and how shitty he felt. I’d jumped to conclusions again. In my defense, Bull had lied about where he was, but after talking to Mase, I knew why.
If my brother had been in the same room, I would have strangled him. And then there was Dane and everything that had happened with him.
Bull was hurting, I knew that much, and I wanted to be there for him. To let him know I wasn’t angry, that I got it.
Which was why I was currently shimmying through his bathroom window at two in the morning. He hadn’t answered his door when I knocked, and I knew from experience, limited though it was, that Bull was a heavy sleeper. I’d also tried to call, but his phone had gone straight to voice mail, so this was my only option, right?
That’s what I kept telling myself.
“Ow, shit.” My foot caught on the edge of the window and I kind of fell to the floor in a sprawl on the linoleum. When no heavy footsteps came pounding down the hall, I got up and crept through the door and down the hall to Bull’s room.
I’d been there with Mase once or twice over the years so managed to find my way even in the dark.
I walked into Bull’s room, gaze going to his bed, which was bathed in moonlight since the curtains were wide open, and it was empty.
I chewed on my lip, not letting any of those negative, untrusting thoughts filter in. He was probably with Dane and Cal. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure of it.
Well, I’d just wait here.
I toed off my shoes, pulled off my socks and jeans followed by my bra, and slid into his bed and his soft flannel sheets in my shirt and underwear. Mmm, it smelled like Logan. I was kind of exhausted after my shift, and snuggling down in Bull’s massive bed, surrounded by his scent, it wasn’t going to be easy to stay awake and wait for him to get home.
* * *
“The fuck?”
My eyes shot open just as the bedroom light came on. I threw my arm over my eyes and groaned.
“Quinn? What are you doing here?”
“I was waiting for you to come home. I must’ve fallen asleep.” I peeked out from under my arm, eyes slowly adjusting to the light. Bull stood there in a red flannel shirt, a blue thermal visible at his forearms and throat, and a woolen hat on his head.
“I was at the hunting cabin with Cal and Dane. If I’d known…sorry, I should’ve said where I’d be.”
“It’s fine.” I sat up and shoved my hair out of my face. “I thought as much.” I took him in, and a little shiver moved through me. “I know you’ve had stuff to deal with the last couple of days and I wanted to be here for you. I, ah…I spoke to Mase. He told me what he said to you. He feels crappy, by the way. He was drunk.”
“I know.” Bull pulled his hat off and tossed it aside. He planted his hands on his hips. “I guess I let it get to me, and then this shit with Dane.”
I didn’t want him apologizing. We’d both made mistakes, multiple times. I just wanted him in this bed with me. “I missed you,” I said.
His chest rose and fell sharply. “Christ, sweets, missed you, too.”
“Are you going to get in here with me anytime soon?”
“Let me just grab a shower. Be right back.�
��
I giggled when he turned and his shoulder glanced off the doorframe and he stumbled to the right then threw me a sheepish grin.
Again, I tried to stay awake, but I just couldn’t manage it. I woke the next time to a dark room and Bull at my back, plastered against me, naked, skin hot, and his arms wrapped around me.
He was also hard, really, really hard.
“How long have you been lying here with me?” I said into the darkness. I knew he was awake by the way he was breathing.
“About an hour,” he said, voice rough.
“You should’ve woken me.”
“Nah,” he rumbled. “When you find Sleeping Beauty in your bed, you let her sleep.”
I turned in his arms. “What does that make you…Daddy Bear?”
He growled. “Wrong fairy tale. If I was Daddy Bear, that’d make you Goldilocks.” He rubbed my hair between his thick fingers. “That wouldn’t work. But you can still call me Daddy Bear if you like.”
I lifted one of my legs over his hip and he growled again softly, his long, thick, beautiful cock growing harder between us. I laughed softly, breathlessly, then leaned up and kissed him. “I’m glad I’m here,” I whispered.
Bull pressed his forehead to mine. “Shit, sweets, I’m sorry I went dark on you, so fucking sorry. I’m not used to sharing with anyone except Cal and Dane, and I fucked up. Sometimes things get the better of me and I need to check out for a bit.”
My heart squeezed, and though I knew it was asking too much, I wished he’d share with me rather than locking it all up. “I get it. This stuff with Dane, you must be worried.”
He released a ragged breath. “I just…I keep failing my family, Quinn, over and over again. I knew Dane was going through something and I wasn’t there when he needed me. I wasn’t there for him when he was a kid and I wasn’t when he went to fucking Rutherford and beat the fuck out of some asshole.”
I curled my fingers around the side of his neck, hurting for him, hating that he was blaming himself for this. “Bull, this wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head. “I fucked up, Quinn, like I did back then. I was the oldest, and I failed Cal and Dane and Gran. When Dane got sick and the medical bills were piling up, I tried to find an easy way out, fast money. Should have protected them. Instead, I brought drugs into our home, caused Dane to be taken from us, and Cal was almost killed in a car wreck. I fucked up so bad I ended up in prison. Cal was left to deal with the aftermath on his own. And now Dane is looking at prison time as well because I wasn’t paying attention. Fuck.”
I squeezed the side of his neck until I had his eyes on me. “You were young. People make mistakes. You thought you were doing the right thing for your family,” I said, trying to get through to him. “You need to stop blaming yourself, Logan.”
He didn’t reply, was punishing himself, and I knew there was nothing I could say to change his mind right then. But I could make him forget, for a little while anyway.
I pressed my lips to his, his rough breaths puffing from his nose between us, heart hammering against mine. “You’re a good man, Logan Calero,” I said against his lips and kissed him again.
His arms tightened around me and he kissed me back. It started slow and soft, but it became more urgent, got deeper, within minutes.
“God, this last week has been so hard, Logan,” I said, my mouth still moving against his, his beard tickling.
One of his hands slid to my ass, fingers flexing. “Yeah.”
I pressed a kiss to his chest and looked up at him. “I know what it’s like to have you inside me, how you move, the sounds you make. I like it, Logan, all of it. I missed it. I missed you.” I felt vulnerable saying it, putting that out there, but I wanted him to know. He’d given me more of him, and he deserved the same in return.
“So what’re you gonna do about it?” he said in that rough-as-hell sexy voice. Yes, he needed this from me as much as I needed to give it to him.
I pushed at his shoulder, and he rolled to his back following my silent request. He watched as I slipped off my underwear and climbed up on top of him.
I leaned forward, my hair falling around us. “I’m going to ease this ache between my thighs, an ache I’ve had since you left my bed nearly a week ago. I don’t want foreplay. I just want you inside me.”
He hadn’t closed his curtains, and I could see his nostrils flare as he yanked the bedside drawer open. He handed me a condom. His hands were shaking.
“Fuck, sweets, yeah, I want that…I want it.”
I used my teeth to tear open the wrapper and sat back on his solid thighs. His hard cock rested against his abs, thick and veined and gorgeous. The head was broad and glistening, and I bit my lip, a shiver of excitement pulsing through me when I wrapped my fingers around it and felt the stiff weight of it against my palm.
I slid my hand down and squeezed then glided back up.
Bull grabbed my wrist. “No teasing, not tonight. Give me what you said. I need it. I need you.”
Had I ever been more turned on in my life? He needed me as much as I needed him, and it made me feel special and beautiful. There was no insecurity, no fear that I wasn’t enough, not in that moment. I quickly rolled on the condom and slid forward.
His hands went to my waist and he yanked my shirt up and off, leaving me naked.
“Want to see all of you when you ride me,” he growled and wrapped his fingers around my hips, lifting me while I took his cock and positioned it at my entrance.
The head was right there, and Bull’s hands moved restlessly at my sides as I lowered myself, biting my lips as he slowly, so slowly, filled me, stretched me to accommodate his size.
Bull bit out a curse. “Fucking hell, sweets. Fuck, you feel so damn good wrapped around me.”
I planted my hands on his chest and pushed my hips down, taking in the last few inches, moaning my agreement. God, he felt amazing.
His hands went to my ass, fingers flexing and pressing into my cheeks, holding me in a way that was possessive, hungry.
“Fuck me, Quinn. Please, baby, fuck me,” he said, or more groaned.
I trembled as I lifted up a little then came back down.
Bull’s hold got tighter. “That’s it. Ride me. I need you to ride me.”
His desperate plea washed through me along with a wave of pleasure so intense I cried out. Then I was moving, lifting up and grinding back down, riding him.
“Holy fuck,” he growled.
I used his big body as leverage, moving faster, rolling my hips.
Our bodies slapped together, our moans and cries filling the room. My skin grew slick and oversensitized. He was so big and hard, there was just so much of him, and he felt so good, I had no choice but to just feel.
Bull sat up suddenly, wrapping those massive arms around me, holding me so tight I couldn’t move, completely at his mercy. He held me down on his big cock so he stayed planted deep and kissed me, hard and full of passion and need, his tongue moving against mine with a hunger that made me dizzy.
I moaned against his mouth, gasping as my inner muscles started spasming.
One of his arms stayed around me, the other hand in my hair, and he looked down at me, eyes wild and hot. “You gonna come, just having me planted deep in that sweet little pussy?”
My entire body started trembling. “Yes.”
His head dropped forward, mouth at my ear, and he growled again. “Could stay inside you all night, all day.” He kissed and sucked the side of my throat. “Don’t take it away from me, baby. I got a taste of you and I’m not ready to give you up, sweets, not yet.”
His words washed over me, but I struggled to think about what they meant with him inside me, the head of his cock right there against that spot that made me scream, close, so close to tipping over the edge.
God, my teeth started chattering.
Bull snarled, gripped my ass and lifted me, bringing me back down on him over and over again.
I started coming the se
cond time he slammed me down. He dropped back, taking me with him, and rolled on top of me, then he was pounding into me with enough force the bed slammed into the wall.
The grip and release was so intense I screamed. “Logan!”
Bull made a rough sound and thrust into me again, deeper than before. He pulsed inside me, grunting and groaning in a way that was so sexy I couldn’t get enough of it.
I clung to him as his muscled body rolled into me, riding us through the last grasping, pulsing waves of pleasure. I kept my arms around him tight as we caught our breath, as Bull rolled to his side, taking me with him.
He moved to his back long enough to get rid of the condom, tossing it in the trash, then he was back and I wrapped myself around him, desperate for that full contact I loved so much—arms around his waist, legs tangled with his.
And Logan indulged me, like he always did, giving me the contact I needed, cuddling me in a way I didn’t think I would ever get enough of.
“Don’t take it away from me, baby. I got a taste of you and I’m not ready to give you up, sweets, not yet.”
The words he’d said a short time ago shot through my mind and I squeezed my eyes closed as I rested my head on his massive chest, breathing in his scent.
I didn’t think I was ready to give him up either.
And that scared the hell out of me.
Chapter Eighteen
Bull
I sipped at my beer and scanned the room. This party was not small.
When Cassy invited me to her birthday party, I expected a handful of people, a few drinks or whatever. Not half of Rocktown. Cassy was good people, which meant it hadn’t taken long for Cal’s friends to become her friends. I also saw Debra who ran the nail bar, Glory from Morning Glory, Addie from Lake’s End Café, and a handful of other women Cassy had befriended.
SIN FOR YOU: ROCKTOWN INK, BOOK TWO Page 15
