“Would that be so bad?” Lizzy asked wistfully.
Hank stroked his knuckles down her cheek. “You know that’s not the way you want it to happen. You don’t want the decision taken out of your hands.”
“Maybe I do,” she said with a touch of defiance.
“A marriage begun like that between the two of us wouldn’t last a month. You’d start resenting me and the situation in the blink of an eye. You know you would.”
If she was being honest, Lizzy couldn’t deny it. She wondered, though, about Hank. “What about you? Would you resent me, too?”
He took a long time answering, long enough for her heart to climb into her throat and tears to threaten.
“Resentment is the wrong word. I’d just be torn apart knowing how badly you wanted something and that I’d played a role in preventing you from getting it. Starting a marriage with regrets is no way to make it last.”
“You’re being noble again, aren’t you?”
He grinned at her. “It is a curse, trying to be honorable around you. You make it mighty hard, Mary Elizabeth Adams. Mighty hard.”
Lizzy’s spirits brightened. “Then you are tempted, at least?”
“Be patient, darlin’. We ought to be able to sneak away from here by midnight. Then I’ll show you just how tempting I find you.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
Lizzy sighed contentedly and tucked her head on Hank’s shoulder, where she could indulge herself in the feel and scent of him. “Then you know what I’m tempted to do?” she murmured.
“What’s that?”
She looked up and met his gaze. “I am very tempted to slip inside and start moving every clock in the place forward a couple of hours.”
Hank chuckled. “You’d do it, too, wouldn’t you?”
“Oh, yes,” she agreed. “But Daddy has gone to a lot of trouble to make tonight happen. I suppose I should make sure he gets his money’s worth.” She broke free of his embrace. Still holding on to his hand, she led him inside.
“Where are we going?” Hank asked, wondering if she intended to make good on her threat to start moving time forward.
“To show Daddy that his scheming worked one more time.”
Hank stopped, forcing her to halt as well. “Bad idea, darlin’.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll get his hopes up, and you and I both know that we’re not together for good.”
“We’re not?”
“No,” he said emphatically.
“What, then?” she asked, as her heart began to thud dully.
“We’re just saying a long goodbye.”
8
The goodbye took forty-eight hours and it was the most bittersweet experience of Hank’s life.
Once he and Lizzy had slipped away from White Pines and Harlan’s smug glances, they had driven to his ranch, raced each other for the front door, stripping away clothes as they’d run. They had made love the first time in an urgent frenzy, right in the foyer, with Lizzy’s back braced against the wall, her legs wrapped around Hank’s waist.
Later there had been sweet, slow loving in his bed, lingering caresses just because they couldn’t stop touching and frantic, uninhibited sex so memorable that just the thought of it could make Hank’s blood heat.
For once Lizzy had stayed through the night, awakening in his arms with a sleepy smile and wicked suggestions that had touched off the passion all over again.
This morning, though, her imminent departure had cast a pall over them. They sat at his kitchen table with eggs and toast getting cold on their plates and coffee adding to the acid churning in Hank’s stomach.
Finally, he forced his gaze to the clock above the stove. “It’s about time, darlin’.”
She shot him a shattered look. “Already?”
“Afraid so.”
Her lower lip trembled. “I’m not sure I can do it.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
Her chin tilted stubbornly. “Of course I do.”
Hank grinned at the flaring of Adams defiance. “Not really.”
She regarded him with an unwavering look, then sighed. “I suppose not. I just didn’t know it was going to hurt this much.” She searched his face. “But you did, didn’t you?”
Hank nodded, because he suddenly couldn’t speak around the huge lump that was forming in his throat.
“It’s worse this time,” she whispered. “Much worse.”
Again he nodded. “Because now we know for sure. We’re good together, Lizzy. Really good. That ought to be the only thing that matters, but we both know it’s not.”
“We could make it the only thing,” she said with grim determination.
“No, we couldn’t,” he told her, reaching for her hand. “We’ve been over this a million times, and I’ve been over it a million more in my head. If I thought there was another way, I’d hold on to you and never let you go, but there’s not. You have to go back, and I need to stay right here. I wanted my own place my whole life. I’ve spent the last few years turning this old wreck into a halfway decent ranching operation. I can’t turn my back on it now.”
“I know,” she admitted. “But I’ll only be gone a few weeks and then we’ll have the whole summer. We’ll just have to concentrate on that.”
Obviously, she’d meant it as consolation, but Hank wasn’t sure he could bear the thought of summer’s torment, having her with him again, only to say goodbye...again. But telling her that now would only make today more difficult, and he wasn’t sure he could bear to see any more hurt in her eyes.
“Just a few weeks,” he echoed, and left it at that.
“Will you go with me to the airport in Dallas?” she asked. “Jordan’s flying me over.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather say goodbye here, in private?”
“I would, but I also want to hold on to every possible second we can be together.”
He thought of all the work that needed doing around the ranch, all the duties he’d already left to his foreman during Lizzy’s visit home. What was one more day, though? Pete could manage. He’d be glad to, in fact. The way the man seized responsibility and followed through was one of the reasons he and Hank got along so well. He’d been pushed out of his last job by an employer who thought he’d gotten too old for it. He’d been hell-bent ever since on proving to Hank that he was still up to managing a ranch.
“I’ll go with you,” he said. “Just let me give Pete a call and tell him I’ll be gone for most of the day. Or would you rather I drive you over to White Pines first, so you can have time to say your goodbyes there?”
“That’s probably best. I still have a bit of packing to do, too. You can drop me off, then come back around noon. Does that work for you?”
He grinned. “If it works for you, it works for me.”
After he’d left her at White Pines, though, he began to imagine turning this into a routine that could last for years yet. Goodbye after goodbye, none of them getting any easier. It would never work, not even with the promise of forever at the end. Neither he nor Lizzy was known for patience. It was the single trait they had in common and the worst one they could have shared under the circumstances.
And yet when he thought about the alternative—never seeing Lizzy again—he couldn’t imagine that, either. The very thought made his gut churn. Surely no two people had ever been caught in a more agonizing catch-22, destined to be miserable whatever choice they made.
He remembered what Lizzy had said earlier: summer was right around the corner. Maybe that was soon enough to make the choice, after all. In the meantime, he imagined his long-distance telephone bills were going to be astronomical.
* * *
“Daddy, I have to go. Hank’s waiting and Jordan’s probably already at the airport g
rumbling about me being late,” Lizzy said, giving her father a fierce hug.
“Let ’em wait,” he grumbled. “You’re my darlin’ girl, and I want to know how you’re doing before I let you get away from here.” He searched her face. “Since you’ve spent the past couple of days with Hank, does that mean what I think it means? Are you two working things out?”
“We’re trying, Daddy.”
“Don’t make the man wait around too long, Lizzy. No man can put his life on hold forever. You shouldn’t, either, for that matter.”
“Are you telling me I should give up medicine?”
“I can’t tell you that. It’s your decision. I’m just saying you need to be sure you have your priorities in order. If Hank’s the man you want, then grab on to the love you two have and don’t let go. Not for anything.” He grinned. “You know, I hear they have a couple of pretty good med schools right up the road a piece. You could choose one closer to home.”
Lizzy nodded. “I know.”
“And fall would be the perfect time to make a change,” he added.
“Daddy, you can’t just switch med schools at the drop of a hat,” she protested. “Admissions are getting more and more difficult.”
“You just say the word, and I’ll make it happen,” he vowed.
Her mother walked in on them then. “Harlan, are you throwing your weight around again?”
He grinned at his wife. “Threatening to,” he admitted. “If it’ll get my girl what she wants.”
“You know, if you indulge her every whim, she’ll never bother figuring out what it is she really wants enough to fight for it. You made the boys stand up for what they wanted and you did okay by them, didn’t you?”
“Except for Eric,” he said quietly, making a rare reference to the son who’d died in an accident on Luke’s ranch. “I tried to make a rancher of him, when he wanted to teach. I like to think I learned from that.” He sighed. “I can’t help remembering what that cost me, Janet. If it’s in my power to make one of my own happy, then I want to do it.”
“And your precious Lizzy has you twisted around her little finger,” her mother said.
Lizzy grinned and kissed his cheek. “Which is what makes you the most incredible father in the universe, but Mom could be right this time. I have to figure out what I want and then I have to be the one to make it happen.”
Her father held up his hands. “Okay, okay, I can’t fight the two of you. Just promise me you’ll let me know if you want any help.”
“It’s a deal,” Lizzy said. She turned and hugged her mother. “Take care of him, you hear.”
“She always does,” her father said, already slipping an arm around her mother’s waist.
When they walked outside, they found Hank waiting beside his pickup, Lizzy’s bags already loaded in the back.
“All set?” he asked.
Lizzy forced a smile. “All set.”
She gave her parents one last hug, then climbed into the truck. Hank started the engine, then glanced over.
“You okay?”
She gave him a halfhearted smile. “Sure.”
He pulled away from the house, watching in the rearview mirror as Harlan and Janet waved goodbye until the truck made the turn in the lane that took it out of sight. He braked then and reached over to brush the tears from Lizzy’s cheeks.
“He’ll be here when you get home,” he promised, even though he had to know it was up to fate, not him.
Lizzy lifted her tear-streaked face to meet his gaze. “What if—?”
“No, darlin’, don’t even go there. Imagining the worst doesn’t help anybody. You saw for yourself that Harlan was getting stronger every day.”
“That’s what he claimed, anyway.”
“He was out of bed the day after you got home,” he reminded her. “He danced with your mother at your party. And he just walked down the front steps to say goodbye without even breathing hard. By the time you get back, he’ll be out riding again and you two can go chasing over White Pines land the way you used to. I bet he’ll even be interrupting our picnics down by the creek.”
Lizzy paled at the very idea. “Lordy, I hope not. The shock might give him another heart attack.”
“Oh, I think he has a pretty good idea what you and I have been up to.”
“Knowing it and stumbling in on it are two very different things,” she retorted. “I don’t think even Harlan Adams is that broad-minded.”
“In that case, no more private picnics by the creek for us,” Hank taunted.
“There’s always nap-time, I suppose,” Lizzy speculated thoughtfully. “Even before the heart attack, Daddy did like his little afternoon catnaps.”
“Or maybe we can just put some bells on his horse’s bridle.”
“He might wonder about that,” she said, grinning at last.
“See, there. I made you smile.”
“You always could. That’s how we met, remember?”
“How could I forget? Whatever happened to that boy who made you cry that day?”
“I believe he ended up in jail for cattle rustling,” she said, unable to keep the note of satisfaction out of her voice.
“A fitting end for the jerk,” Hank declared. “What was it he did to you? You never did tell me that.”
Lizzy winced. “Okay, it wasn’t all that awful, now that I think back on it, but I was sixteen at the time. Every slight was a mortal wound back then.”
“What was it he did?” Hank repeated.
“You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “I really am. Something tells me I’m going to enjoy the heck out of whatever you’re trying so hard not to say.”
“Okay, okay. He refused to carry my tray in the cafeteria. Are you satisfied? It was my first public humiliation.”
Hank barely managed to hide the grin tugging at his lips. “Devastating, I’m sure.”
“Well, it was. All the other boys were doing it for me. He was the only one who wouldn’t.”
“Which naturally made him the most attractive,” Hank said.
“Of course.” Lizzy moaned. “Jeez, I was such an idiot.”
“You were a teenage girl,” he corrected.
“Maybe idiocy and hormones do go together,” she said. “Anyway, you were wonderful. You didn’t treat me as if I was sixteen and my problem was nonsense. You listened and then you teased me and you made me smile, just like today. I’ve never forgotten that.”
“Neither have I,” he said quietly, glancing over at her as he pulled into the small airport where Jordan was waiting for them. “Neither have I.”
“Hank, I—”
She never got to finish the thought because Justin yanked open the door of the pickup, his expression disgruntled. “It’s about time you got here. We were supposed to take off a half hour ago.”
Lizzy stared at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m catching a lift to Dallas, too. I’m checking out the police academy there.”
“And Jordan is actually flying you over there?” she asked, incredulous. Her brother’s willing participation in Justin’s defection from the oil business was astounding. Jordan didn’t like losing. It was another of those infamous Adams traits.
Justin shrugged. “He’s resigned to it. My hunch is he’s hoping I’ll flunk out and put an end to what he refers to as ‘this utter nonsense.’”
“Now, that sounds more like him,” Lizzy said. “Stick to your guns, though, Justin. No pun intended.”
Hank groaned. “Hey, Justin, how about giving me a hand with these bags? Lizzy has never grasped the concept of packing light.”
“It’s not all clothes,” she protested. “I have some medical texts in there, and they weigh a ton.”
“And how many of those books did y
ou crack while you were home?” Justin teased. “Hank, is that what the two of you were doing over at your place? Studying?”
“Exactly,” Lizzy retorted, regarding Hank boldly. “I had a little trouble with my anatomy class. Hank was making sure I got it right.”
“I’ll bet,” Justin retorted. “My hunch is there was no textbook involved.”
Just then Jordan came around the side of the hangar and glared at all of them. “Is anybody planning to fly to Dallas today?”
“Sorry,” Hank said. “Saying goodbye to Harlan took a little longer than we anticipated.”
Jordan’s frown eased as he searched Lizzy’s face. “He’s okay?”
“He’s fine. I just got a little crazy when it came time to walk away.”
Her brother nodded sympathetically. “I’ve had that trouble myself from time to time lately. Now that everybody’s here, though, let’s get this show on the road. I don’t like the looks of that storm that’s brewing to the west. I checked with the tower and we’re cleared to go, but the window of opportunity won’t last forever.”
Lizzy cast a nervous look toward the western horizon. It looked perfectly clear to her, but she knew the unpredictable Texas weather well enough to know that it could change in a heartbeat. “Jordan, are you sure?”
“We’ll be fine, if we quit wasting time,” he assured her.
“Then let’s do it,” Hank said.
They climbed aboard Jordan’s corporate jet and settled into their seats. Justin, who’d been flying since his sixteenth birthday, took the copilot’s seat, which left Lizzy alone with Hank in the main cabin.
The takeoff was smooth, the trip uneventful except for an occasional pocket of turbulence that flipped her stomach upside down. Each time it happened, she reached for Hank’s hand and clung to it.
“Lizzy, darlin’, your brother is an experienced pilot, and Justin’s no slouch himself. We’re in good hands.”
“I know that,” she agreed. “Just in case, though, there’s something I want to say to you.”
White Pines Summer Page 28
