by Paul Regnier
“We’re headed into town,” I said. “We’ll stop by the hardware store. That sounds like a good lead.”
“Perfect. Make sure you tell her hi for me. And let me know what you find out.”
“You got it. Thanks, Mom.”
Kenny hit the end call icon and handed my phone back. “And that’s why our detective agency rocks. Your mom might have just solved the case.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First we stop by the hardware store and see what Carol has to say.”
The interior decor of Tom’s hardware store was an odd conglomeration of hippie, mountain hermit, and home improvement.
Dream catchers hung by the windows next to crystals that refracted the sun and splashed rainbow colored patterns across the rows of shiny tools.
Dead animals, frozen in action, welcomed us to Carol’s taxidermy hobby. Along with the obligatory deer heads mounted on the wall, a bobcat watched us enter, waiting to pounce. His glossy eyes were fixed on the front door, his sharp teeth frozen in a snarl. On a shelf nearby, a hawk was perched on a branch, his wings spread out, ready to take flight. And a raccoon sat by the front door, his head raised, eyeing every customer with perpetual curiosity.
Yikes. Bandit took a step back. This place gives me the creeps. Am I safe here?
Yes. I gave him a reassuring scratch behind the ear. Don’t worry, you’re fine.
No one was at the front register. A grinding noise like a table saw came from the back of the store.
Bandit pawed at his ear. Ow, my ears. What is that noise? It’s terrible.
I leaned over and patted his head. Sorry, Bandit. I think it’s a saw.
Well, turn it off. I can feel it in my brain.
“Maybe we should head to the back,” I said.
“Wait.” Kenny walked to the front counter and motioned to a silver call bell. “Here we go.”
He hit the bell, and a high tone echoed through the store.
Bandit whined. That sound is even worse.
There was a moment of silence before the grinding started up again.
“I don’t think she can hear that,” I said. “We should just go back there.”
“How ‘bout this.” Kenny hit the bell several times.
Bandit growled. I like Kenny but I’m gonna bite him if he does that again.
“Hey.” Kenny frowned at Bandit. “What’s he growling at me for?”
“He doesn’t like that bell.”
The grinding stopped and footsteps approached.
Carol Caddel came trudging down the aisle. She wore clear safety goggles, and her long grey hair was tied back in a ponytail. Wood shavings covered her red checkered flannel shirt and jeans.
She stopped at the end of the aisle and stared us down as if we were all about to draw our six shooters. “Who keeps ringing my bell?”
Kenny pointed at me.
“Carol?” I said.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Sorry to bother you. I’m–”
“Luke. Betsie’s son. Right?”
“Yeah. She was trying to get a hold of you but–”
“Oh, this rush order is swamping my whole day.” She brushed the wood shavings off her shirt. “Can’t even hear the phone half the time. And where’s Larry? He should be answering the phone. Don’t know why I put up with that boy. I don’t suppose either of you needs a job?”
We both shook our heads a little too vigorously.
“I figured.” She nodded at Kenny. “Haven’t seen you since you bought that generator. How’s it working for you?”
“Haven’t had to use it yet.” Kenny knocked on the wood counter. “But if the power goes down, I’m ready.”
She pointed at him. “Good thinking. Always be prepared.” She looked at Bandit. “And who’s this little pooch?”
“Bandit,” I said.
“Is he friendly?”
I nodded.
Carol knelt down and patted her thigh. “C’mere, Bandit.”
Bandit scooted a little closer to me. She doesn’t want to add me to her collection, does she?
Don’t worry you’re safe. I patted his head. She just wants to pet you.
Okay but if she makes any sudden moves, my teeth come out to play. Bandit walked slowly forward, giving a cautious glance back as he reached her.
“He’s a fluffy one.” Carol ruffled his fur and gave him a kiss. “What a handsome boy.”
Bandit glanced back. Okay, she’s not so bad. I guess we can stay for a bit.
The front door creaked open. Larry had his back to the door, his arms weighed down with two boxes. He grunted and put his shoulder to the door, forcing his entry a little too fast. The door gave way, and he stumbled inside, falling to his knees. He dropped the top box on the concrete flooring with a clanging of metal that echoed through the room.
Bandit whined. My poor ears. So many loud noises in here.
“That better not be my faucets, Larry.” Carol stood and narrowed her eyes at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks for caring.” Larry brushed back his unkempt wavy brown hair.
“Next time make two trips.” Carol put her hands on her hips. “What’d you break?”
“Nothin’. Chill.” Larry left the fallen box where it was and took the other one to the front counter. “These are the copper fittings from Tolsons.”
“Thought you picked those up this morning,” she said.
“I was busy.”
“With what? Sleeping in?”
“Whatever.” He sighed and nodded at us. “What up, guys?”
“Hey.” Kenny nodded back, trying a little too hard to be extra laid back.
“Is that the whole shipment?” Carol said. “There should have been more.”
Larry mimed firing a gun to his head. “Yes, there’s more. On my way, boss.” He trudged back out the door, leaving the fallen box on the floor.
Carol shook her head. “Look what this hardware store has come to. Tom would be rolling in his grave if he saw this. Take it from me, don’t ever hire your nephew.”
“I won’t,” Kenny said. “I’m an only child.”
“So,” Carol looked at me. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Good. She wanted to ask about the fireworks show you did. I told her I’d stop by and talk to you.”
“Is that right?”
“The fireworks were awesome,” Kenny chimed in. “The weeping willows were my favorite.”
“Mine too.” She smiled. “So, what’d Betsie want to know?”
Since Carol was a no-nonsense kind of woman, I got the feeling the direct approach would work best. I decided to lay our cards on the table, in the hopes that she would return the favor.
“Well, to be honest, she thought the timing of the fireworks and the gemstone theft was a little coincidental. She figured whoever spoke to you about the start time of the show might have been coordinating with the thief behind the scenes.”
Carol chuckled. “That Betsie, still trying to unravel cases. You know, she used to do the same thing with your dad, back when he was chief of police.”
I nodded. “So she tells me.”
“Well, she’s a dear, but she’s barking up the wrong tree. I don’t recall anyone fishy talking to me about it. Graham wanted to know, but he was organizing the whole thing so why wouldn’t he?”
“How specific was he?” I tried to push the point just to be sure.
She shrugged. “Oh, he hounded me a bit but he’s like that. Wound up tighter than a pull cord. Should’ve saved his breath though. I’ve never been late a day in my life.”
“This may sound like a weird question, but did you happen to see him talking to any clowns?”
Carol smirked. “Not as weird as you might think. I saw him talking to a clown before the event started. ‘Course, he hired a few of them for the auction, so it’s not that surprising.”
A tingle went through my skin. “Really? Do you remember what the clown looked like?”
; “Oh, you know. White face paint, curly wig, big red shoes. The whole nine yards.”
I looked wide eyed at Kenny. “How about that?”
Chapter 13
“You telling me that clown had something to do with it?” Carol asked.
“We’re not sure but we’re looking into it. Do you happen to know Jimmy Bosko?”
“Jimmy?” Her brow furrowed. “Sure. Ellie’s old boyfriend, right?”
“Ex-fiancé.” I said. “Have you seen him recently?”
She shook her head. “Can’t say that I have. Used to come in every now and then. Haven’t seen him lately.”
“Did you know him very well?”
“No.” She crossed her arms. “What’s ol’ Betsie up to? She solving crimes on the side now?”
“She’s working with the Crystal Clear Detective Agency,” Kenny flashed a smooth grin. “The premier private investigation firm in Crystal Falls.”
“Never heard of ‘em.”
“We’ve been around a while,” Kenny continued, undaunted. “Most of our previous cases focused on computer fraud and cyber attacks. A few months ago our efforts led to the capture of Greg Blankenship, the murderer of Luke’s Uncle Zeke.”
“I heard all about that. Wasn’t it the cops that caught him?”
“We always work in tandem with local authorities.” Kenny didn’t miss a beat. “Information sharing, evidence disclosure. Whether or not our agency is credited with the arrest, our main goal is that justice is served.”
He spoke with such a straight face I found myself starting to believe him.
“Well, shoot,” Carol said. “Why not, right? The more crime solvers out there, the better. You got a business card on you?”
Business card? We barely had a name.
“We’re in the process of rebranding,” Kenny said. “The new cards will arrive soon. I can drop one by if you’re interested.”
“Sure. Don’t see why not.”
“Well,” I said. “I think that does it. Thanks for your time, Carol. We really appreciate it.”
“My pleasure. Oh, one other thing. If there’s really something going on and you’ve got your sights on Graham, you may want to stop by Jake’s bar. He has a regular poker game there with some of the guys.”
“Really?” I said. “He doesn’t strike me as the type that hangs out in a bar playing poker.”
She nodded. “Yep. The way I hear it, he drinks iced tea while everyone else is throwing ‘em back. Once the other players are about five beers in, he starts cleaning up. It’s the old Puritan double cross.”
I chuckled. “I’m surprised they still let him play.”
“Oh, it’s a game to them, like everything else. Clean him out before they get too hammered. Bunch of morons.”
The front door creaked open again, and Larry walked in carrying another box. “Here’s your faucets. Made sure to be extra, extra careful with them.” He carried the box in a theatrical way as if it were filled with fine china.
Carol shook her head. “Is that all you wanted to know, Luke? I need to get back to work.”
“Yes, thanks again. Good talking with you, Carol.”
“Likewise. And Larry, don’t forget to pick that box up off the floor. It’s gathering dust.” She waved and headed toward the back of the store.
“Slave driver,” Larry muttered, as he set the box on the front counter. He craned his neck to make sure Carol was gone, then settled into a chair at the front and grabbed a bag of chips tucked under the counter. He opened the bag and got right to snacking. Bandit strolled up to the counter and sat at attention directly in front of him.
Larry lifted his eyebrows. “What up, dog?”
Bandit let out a soft whine.
Larry grinned and tossed him a chip. He caught it mid-air and started crunching.
“That’s awesome,” Larry said. “So, what are you guys up to?”
“Checking up on the gemstone theft,” Kenny said.
“Oh yeah?” Larry threw his feet up on the counter. “You cops now?”
The grinding sound started up again from the back of the store. Carol was back at work.
“Nah. Detectives.” Kenny leaned against the counter, trying to match Larry’s relaxed vibe.
Larry chuckled and tossed Bandit another chip. “Sherlock in the house. Does it pay good? I need a new job.”
“Well, no. I mean, not yet.” Kenny seemed embarrassed to admit our lack of income. “But soon. You gotta build up your case cred, then the money follows.”
Larry nodded. “So, I’m a broke musician and you’re a couple of broke detectives. Sometimes I think Carol’s animals have it better.”
I laughed. “Yeah, must be weird working around someone’s taxidermy hobby.”
“You’re telling me.” Larry flung a chip at the stuffed bobcat. It bounced off its head and landed on the floor. “What kind of demented hobby is this?”
Bandit trotted over to the fallen chip and vacuumed it right up.
“I got these freaky things staring at me all day,” Larry said. “And this isn’t even her full collection. She’s got a bear in the back of the store. An actual bear. And I don’t even think she shot it. She just nagged it to death.”
“Hey, Larry,” I said. “You didn’t happen to see anything weird at the auction did you? Anyone suspicious?”
“Are you kidding?” He said. “Those big Crystal Park events always bring out the weirdos. I saw a guy with a foot long white beard wearing a coonskin cap. We’ve got Davey Crockets living up in the hills. They take a bath once a year and come down the mountain for stuff like this. Bunch of freaks.”
“You were helping Carol with the fireworks, right?” I said.
“Yeah.”
“Was anyone asking specific questions about when the show would start?”
He grinned. “Man, you guys are serious about this detective thing, huh? I mean, you’re actually trying to track this thief down?”
I nodded. “The police already have a strong lead. We think there may be more than one person involved.”
“Crazy. This sounds like one of those PI shows. Hey, if you start making money, let me know. I need to get out of this store. Seriously, I can question people. Do research. Whatever.”
Kenny pointed at him. “We’ll keep you in mind. It’d be good to have a musician on board. You could go undercover if we have to infiltrate some concert investigation. Or solve a crime on one of those singing competition shows.”
“Kenny.” I spread my arms in bewilderment. “When would that ever happen?”
“Hey, you never know.”
“You know…” Larry put his feet down and sat forward. “Come to think of it, Carol was acting weird that night. I mean, more than usual.”
“Really?” Kenny said.
“Yeah. She was all stressed out. And she kept talking to that stiff, Scumbag Sullivan.”
Kenny raised his eyebrows at me.
“Graham Sullivan?” I said. “What were they talking about?”
“The fireworks,” Larry said. “When they were gonna start, how long they’d last, how loud they’d be. That kind of stuff.”
“Interesting.” Kenny nodded. “Does Carol ever talk about money troubles at all? Like, is the hardware store doing okay?”
“Well, not really.” Larry craned his neck toward the back of the store and lowered his voice. “Money’s tight. She only picked up the firework gig to help out around here. It didn’t make sense to me. The fireworks cost almost as much as the payment. I mean, I’m no one to talk about financial planning, I got nothing. I just thought it was strange. All that work for so little profit.”
“This is a weird question,” I said, “but during the auction, did you see her talking with a clown?”
“Clown?” Larry raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know about that. But I was running back and forth all night doing her errands so who knows?”
“Did she mention the name Jimmy?” Kenny said.
�
�I don’t think so. Jimmy who?”
“Never mind,” I said. “If you think of anything else, would you mind calling me or Kenny? Do you have Kenny’s number?”
“Yeah.” Larry held up his cell phone. “He’s in my phone.”
“Thanks.”
“But, hey.” Larry put his hands up. “I’m not accusing anybody of anything. Carol’s a tough boss but she’s also my Aunt Carol. I doubt she’s involved in something like this.”
“If it makes you feel better,” Kenny said. “She’s at the bottom of our list.”
“Good. I mean, she’s a pain but I don’t think she’s a thief. Now, Scumbag Sullivan on the other hand, that’s someone I could easily see behind all this.”
Kenny laughed. “Right. Thanks, bro.”
Kenny and Larry shared one of those “bro handshakes” that starts with gripping someone's thumb, and ends with pulling them close and patting them on the shoulder.
We left the hardware store and walked to the car.
Bandit let out a soft woof. Other than the free chips, that place is the stuff of nightmares. All those animals just staring at me with those vacant eyes? My fur was on end the whole time.
Sorry, Bandit. I won’t take you back there.
Good.
“You know,” I said. “That clown thing Carol mentioned was pretty interesting, huh?”
“I know.” Kenny shook his head. “Graham was talking to Jimmy before the auction. And he made sure to find out when the fireworks show would start. Am I crazy or is that just a bit too coincidental?”
“You’re not crazy. But now Carol’s a bit of a wild card for me. If Larry’s right and she’s strapped for cash, that’s at least a potential motive. And if the fireworks show made little to no profit, why go to all that trouble?”
“Unless it helped you coordinate a planned theft,” Kenny said.
“Exactly.”
Kenny shook his head. “Man, what a mess.”
“Yeah. Hey, by the way, nice job on the Agency sell in there. Where did that come from?”
“I know, right? I was feeling it. I just imagined we were already a successful detective agency and lost myself in the role of professional PI. Still got those acting chops from high school drama. You know, if I didn’t have such a knack for computers–”
