by K. L Hart
“so, you and Ash are all hot and heavy” Charlie says as we shop in one of the little boutiques in town. “yeah It’s nice” I reply “nice” she snorts “bitch your loved up, you both are” she adds, I shake my head and chuckle “I’m in a happy bubble with him right now I don’t know if I love him” I say. “you most definitely do but It’s ok, you don’t have to admit it right now,” she says as she wiggles her eyebrows at me. I nudge her with my elbow and move to look at the next rack “I know I said be careful, but I was wrong, we all see how he looks at you, he loves you too” she says seriously “were all so happy for you both, your perfect together” she adds a tear falls from my eye and I envelop her in a hug “thanks Charlie” I whisper “bitch get off me, we need to spend an obscene amount of money!” she laughs. After a mid-afternoon snack and too many shopping bags to carry we head home, I drop her off at her house and drive back home to unpack my new purchases. When I get it all up to my bedroom I fire out a text to Ash
Me: I'm home now.
It takes me an hour to put everything away in the right place I glance at my phone “no reply from Ash” I say to myself, it's half past six he said we were having dinner together tonight. After another thirty minutes of waiting to hear from Ash, I decide to head to his house. When I drive down his driveway I notice a little white Porsche parked next to his Bugatti, who’s car is that?. As I walk through the front door I’m greeted by girlish giggles, my heart beats frantically in my chest as I follow the sound. I turn into the kitchen and I freeze at what I see. Zoe is sat on top of the kitchen counter, Ash standing in-between her legs his hand up her skirt, he’s kissing her neck as she throws her head back. I just stand frozen and stare for a moment, when Zoe looks straight at me and smirks fury fills me and I storm out the house and jump in my car, I drive as quickly as I can out of Ash’s driveway and out of the compound. I drive for half an hour before I park up at the side of the road and just cry, my heart breaks into tiny smithereens as I realize what an idiot I have been. After a few minutes, I compose myself and wipe my tears away. Fucker is not going to break me, he thinks I can be a bitch, he hasn’t seen anything yet. I grab my phone out of my back pocket and send him a text
Me: DELETE MY FUCKING NUMBER, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SKANK. YOU COMPLETE DICKHEAD.
Me: Brix pick up Charlie and meet me at bar Qubana in ten.
Brix: what’s up Baby doll?
Me: Ash, just get here I there I need a drink and don’t feel like getting smashed on my own.
Brix: on way now baby doll!
I touch up my makeup with the emergency stash have in the car. I take my jumper off and it leaves me in a tight fitted black crop top, blue jeans and of course some red stilettos, it will do I think to myself. I drive to Bar Qubana and wait in the car for Brix and Charlie when they arrive I jump out and meet them at Brix’s car. “what happened” charlie asks concern written on her face. “I’ll tell you after we have got a drink” she nods and takes my arm in hers as we enter the bar and find a table. Brix brings us the drinks which consist of a beer for him, a pitcher of cocktail for me and charlie and six shots of sambuca. “fuck yes” I say as I do both my shots in an instant. Charlie pours me and her our cocktail and they both just look at me waiting for me to explain what has happened. “I walked in on Ash with his hand up Zoe's skirt on his kitchen counter” I grit “fucking asshole” Charlie snaps. “dude’s an idiot, all right” Brix adds. “don’t even worry about it, I’m a big girl, ill deal” I say as I shrug. “we have your back Baby doll, Ethan and Kade are on their way” he says “good lets party tonight” I reply. An hour later and I have a good buzz, Ethan and Kade arrived forty minutes ago and have been fully clued in and the called Ash a string of obscenities before buying some more shots. We are all laughing and talking as the karaoke starts “go on girl put your name in, I haven't heard you sing yet” Charlie asks basically pushing me towards the DJ. I get a text as I walk to the table
Ash: where are you?
Me: nowhere near you!
Ash: Angel I can explain
Me: I don't want to hear it
Ash rings me and I cut it off, he rings again and I cut it off
Ash: please baby, it’s not what it looked like
Me: you had your fingers in her vagina, how is that not what it looked like.
My phone rings again and I cut it off. “is that him” Charlie asks nodding to the phone “yup” I say “let me guess, it's not what it looked like” she replies I laugh “spot on, girl” I say.
My phone buzzes
Ash: please let me see you. if you don’t tell me where you are I will find you.
Me: go fuck yourself.
Everyone else’s phone buzzes at the same time. “do we know where you are” Brix asks shaking his head “nope” I reply. We all turn our phones on silent so we can continue enjoying our night. “more drinks?” I ask as I get up to go to the bar. Everyone nods and smiles, I order a round of beer for the boys a pitcher of sex on the beach for me and charlie and 15 shots. I head back to the table as the barman offers to carry it over. “so what you going to do now” charlie asks “I dunno maybe play the field a bit” I reply “no you fucking won’t” Ash snarls from behind me, I roll my eyes and continue talking as if he is not there. No one knows where to look, it's quite funny really. “maybe I’ll find some hot dude to take me home” I say to charlie and she struggles to hide her snigger. “Kassi, you need to listen to me!” Ash whispers in my ear I stand up and get in Ash’s face, I let all my anger show in my face “I do not need to do anything for you, prick!” I snarl at him. Just as the waiter brings our drinks over my name is called for the karaoke. I take down two shots then hand one to Ash “sit down and enjoy the show” I say with a wicked grin on my face, I know exactly what song to sing. When the dancey upbeat backing track for Cheatin by Nathan Dawe comes on, I start singing and the crowd starts clapping in time with the beat. I completely lose myself in the song and dance around the little stage, biggest smile on my face. I can see Ash, staring daggers at me knowing the song is about him and it’s not good. The rest of the guys are looking between me and him and charlie is grinning like a goddamn Cheshire cat. The end of the song creeps up and I start walking towards Ash I Straddle his lap as I sing “I know what you did, I know where you been, you've been cheating and telling me lies, you been creeping while I'm sleeping at night, you've been chasing every girl in sight, you been messing around and now your down it’s over now.” I get up off his lap and lean against the table as I repeat the last line “you been messing around and now your down it’s over now” I drop the mic on his lap and leave the bar while it erupts in applause. Charlie runs out after me “that was fucking epic” she says and I laugh. “the last thing I’m gonna do is let him think I'm messed up about it” I say the boys rush out the door, “phone a taxi, I want to drink somewhere else now” I demand. Ethan dials the number and quickly orders our taxi, Ash walks out of the bar and grabs my arm “what the fuck was that” he roars in my face. “just a bit of fun” I smirk “let me go, Ash, right fucking now” I grimace, he doesn’t. I lean in to whisper in his ear “if you do not get your filthy fucking hands off me I will..” he interrupts me “you will what Kass, you need to listen to me” he says softly. I grab my gun that's in the waistband of my jeans with my free hand and hold it up to his head. “I will fucking shoot you” I snap “whoah, Ash let her go” Brix jumps in. “NO” ash shouts I flick the safety off. “dude you need to give her some space right now” Ethan pleads. “fucking shoot the dick” charlie chimes in from the back and I grin. I start counting backwards from five, the boys are begging Ash by this point to let me go, I get to one and he releases me. I lower the gun “leave” I growl at him. “fine, Angel but this conversation is not done” he says fury radiating off him as he gets in his car and whizzes off. “gun?” Brix demands “fuck no” I retort “give me the god damn gun, you are not in the right headspace to wave that thing about” he snaps I hand him t
he gun and roll my eyes. “would you have really shot him” Charlie asks, “I’ve shot a man for less” I shrug and she laughs “fucking badass, that song though man I thought his head was going to explode” she laughs and so do I “you think I got my point across?” I joke “that you did, perfectly executed I say” Ethan chimes in. “are you ok though, Kass?” Kade asks “yeah, I’m good, ill be better when we get a drink. Ethan, cancel the tax we will stay here now the scum has gone” I say “done” Ethan smiles. “you have got to sing with me next” charlie demands, I laugh as we all re-enter the bar.
“ughh, my heads banging,” I say to Charlie who is laid next to me in my bed “what time is it?” she grumbles “two-thirty in the afternoon” I answer “some fucker grab coffee and some pain killers” she shouts to the boys who are scattered around my bedroom. “I’ll go” Kade grumbles. “best night ever” Brix mumbles from the floor. I laugh “it was kind of Epic” I add “what was that song you rapped,” Ethan asks “Don’t get nine” I answer “it's by an underground London band called N-Dubz” I add “where did you find all these random songs?” Kade asks “Ispent six months in a London gang last year and their music is fucking insane they call it grime” I answer “dude, I'm finding it all, the song you sang was epic” Ethans adds and I chuckle, I throw him my phone, “I have a load of them on the playlist grime” I say. Ethan whistles “dude, you have thirty texts from Ash and five missed calls” “ignore them” I snap. “you're going to have to speak to him at some point” Brix points out. “I know but not today” I answer. Kade returns with a tray of coffee and a box of aspirin, we all pop two tablets and sip our coffee’s we spend the rest of the afternoon all laid on my bed watching Netflix. After everyone leaves and I grab a shower I get back into bed and check my phone. 42 text’s from Ash “fuck sake” I groan to myself, I decided to read them as he isn’t going away.
Ash: Angel, I need to speak to you, call me back.
Ash: baby I promise you, it wasn’t what it looked like.
Ash: Kassi, please just reply
Ash: I know you hate me, just let me explain.
Ash: please, I'm begging you.
Ash: fuck, Angel what can I do
Ash: This is killing me, please speak to me
Ash: at least let me know your ok?
Ash: I need you, please baby?
And it goes on and on
Me: I need you to leave me the fuck alone Ash, I don’t want your bullshit explanation, I want nothing from you.
Ash: please baby, just hear me out
Me: I'm not your motherfucking baby, call Zoe maybe the desperate slut will have the time for you.
Ash: fuck Zoe, I want you
Me: looked like it
Ash: please let me explain
Me: No Ash, I don’t owe you anything, you took my trust and crushed it, you got all my firsts as you wanted so fuck off and leave me alone.
Ash: please
Me: seriously Ash, Leave me the fuck alone, I don’t care for your bullshit. I don’t want to know, I will never forgive you.
Ash: ok, Angel I’ll leave you alone, for now at least.
I stare at the ceiling and darkness takes over as I have the worst nights sleep.
I get out of my car and walk over to the boys the next morning just before school starts, I notice Ash hasn’t turned up yet and my inner self screams “why the fuck do you care?” “hey, guys!” I say to Ethan, Charlie, Kade and Brix. “hey baby doll, your looking fine this morning” Brix says enveloping me in a hug. “thanks, you all look recovered from the hangovers” I chuckle “yeah well we don’t have time to be ill” Kade answers and I laugh. “so where’s the dickhead of the week?” I ask nodding to his parking space. “he text me and told me he couldn’t face you today” Ethans answers apologetically. “pussy” I mutter. “you do realise we can’t choose between you right baby doll?” Brix says “I know and I won't ask you too, but I'm still mad just give me a couple of days,” I say they all nod and we all walk into school. The morning drags and I let out a sigh of relief when lunchtime arrives. I grab my lunch and head to our table, the guys are already there, I stop in my tracks when none other than Zoe stands in front of me blocking my way, I roll my eyes, I cannot be fucked to deal with her shit right now! “hey Kassi” she says sarcastically “Zoe” I nod. “where’s Ash today, I miss him when he’s not here” she pouts, for fuck sake is this girl for real. “don’t know, text him and ask him!” I answer. “I tried that but I haven’t heard from him since I fucked him on Saturday afternoon” she smirks and I have to plaster my mission mask on my face. “sorry did you not know that he ditched you for me?” she adds “to be honest Zoe, you could suck his dick in the middle of this cafeteria for everyone to see and I would not care, do you not get fed up with being his safety net?” I say, everyone's staring at us now, brilliant I internally roll my eyes. “what the fuck is a safety net” she makes air quotes with her fingers. “a safety net, is a girl who is so desperate she waits around for a guy to booty call her, she doesn’t care that he only wants her when all the other girls are busy, she’s so low on self-esteem that she is happy being at the bottom of the pile of girls he’s sleeping with, that is what you are, a safety net”. I clarify her face fills with rage and she tries to slap me I drop my tray and grab her arm before she makes contact, I twist her arm and she screams “do not ever try to hit me again” I snarl. “you can have Ash I really don’t give a fuck but do not mess with me, you will lose”. I growl at her. I release her arm and she stumbles back. “fuck you, Kassidie, your nothing but a used-up whore”. I laugh “ok, safety net see you later,” I say as I push past her and sit next to Kade.
“I think you should have punched her in the face” Charlie spits “she is not worth it” I retort. “I loved your safety net theory, where can I get one?” Brix jokes, I punch him in the arm and roll my eyes “dickhead”.
Chapter Seven.
The following week dragged by slowly and I spend all of the weekend in bed. No one has seen Ash since the bar, and I haven’t heard anything from thank fuck. I'm just about to get ready for school when my phone starts beeping.
Anonymous: you have an assignment, you will be gone a week. Be at Jefferson falls airfield at 11.am today. Details for the assignment will be given to you aboard the jet. I groan as I get out of bed and start packing my bag. I exit the car, coffee in hand and board the jet, I'm the first one here, I give my luggage to the stewardess to store. “must be a long journey if we have a steward” I mutter as I sit down in one of the chairs. Ash arrives next and as expected he sits next to me, I ignore him but I can feel him staring at the back of my head. “Kassi?” he whispers “what!” I snap not looking at him. “we need to talk” he says sounding defeated I look at him and he looks awful, he has stubble on his chin where hasn’t bothered to shave, his hairs a mess like he has run his hand through it over and over again. He clearly hasn’t been sleeping if the circles under his eyes are any indication. “there’s nothing to talk about” I say. “please just five minutes in the bathroom so the others don’t hear when they board”. “if I do this will you leave me alone after”. I ask and he nods “come on then” I snap as I stand up. We are heading to the bathroom when Ethan boards the jet I turn to him and mouth “do not ask” and roll my eyes. I shut the bathroom door behind us and lean against it, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to shut myself in such a small space with Ash, I'm looking at his arms and a mixture of lust and hate swirl inside of me. “look Ash, you can’t fix this and honestly I do not want to hear any of your excuses about what you were doing with her, let’s just forget about us and learn to get along for the others”. I say “fuck that Kassi, I want you back.” he says determinedly “I was never your's Ash, we were never official, we weren’t exclusive so let’s just leave it at that”. I reply “Kassi, please you don’t know how much I need you right now,” he says as he steps closer to me. “Ash, I can’t do this” I whisper, he moves closer again and grabs my chin pulling my face up to
his, he kisses me and I melt in his arms kissing him back. Fuck sake Kassidie get some self-control I scold myself. He pulls away his lust-filled eyes staring down at me. “Ash, please don’t” I plead “I know I hurt you, baby, I should have warned you or something, I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for this and I can’t bear to see you look so sad but I need to be around you” he says sincerely “well we are spending the week together so you got what you want” I snap “hit me, scream at me, cry do anything just stop looking at me with them hurt filled eyes” he says pulling me into his arms and I break, I do the one thing I said I wouldn’t I cry in his arms, we sink to the floor him holding me while I cry, I feel us take off and I just sit there crying into Ash’s chest until I fall asleep. Ash wakes me up sometime later “Angel we need to go back in and get our mission packet now, will you be ok?” I rub my eyes and nod my head “we will talk later ok baby. I know you don’t want to hear it but you have to let me explain”. He says softly “I don’t really have a choice!” I say yawning. He kisses me on the forehead and helps clean my face of makeup before we head back out to the others. “you ok babydoll?” Brix asks, “yeah fine, just a bit tired,” I say. I open the mission packet that is on the table and slide out its contents. I pick up the assignment page first.
