by Anna Stone
Lillian froze. “How do you know about her?”
“Bridget told me. But she didn’t tell me the details.”
“Of course Bridget told you. It’s not just about my ex-fiancée, but…” Lillian couldn’t even remember the last time she’d spoken about her. “Her name was Meredith. We met just before I became a partner at AG&W. A few years into the relationship, I proposed to her. She turned me down. She was a free spirit who lived for adventure. Meredith dreamed of leaving the city behind and traveling the country, the whole world. As in love as we were, Meredith wasn’t sure if she could marry someone who worked as much as I did. So I told her I would change. I cut down my hours and stopped working on weekends. And things improved. A year later, I asked her to marry me again. This time, she said yes.
“Everything was good between us for a while. But eventually, I began to slip into old habits. I didn’t even notice it at the time. Meredith never said anything. But a week before the wedding, she told me that she couldn’t go through with it. She said that she loved me, but she knew in her heart that she would always be second to my career. I asked her for another chance. She told me she would stay if I quit my job at AG&W. But I just couldn’t do it; couldn’t give up everything I worked so hard for. So, she left me. All because I valued my career more than our relationship.”
Lillian glanced at Emma. If the fact that Lillian had chosen her career over love bothered Emma, she didn’t show it. Instead, her eyes were filled with sympathy.
“It wasn’t just Meredith. All my relationships, they never work out for the same reason. The other person always ends up wanting more from me. More time, more attention, more love. And I can’t give it to them. I care about you, Emma. I want nothing more than for us to be together. But I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve someone who can give you that fairytale ending you’ve always wanted.”
“But I don’t want someone else,” Emma said. “I want you. And I know how much your career means to you. I’d never ask you to change. If it becomes an issue down the line, we’ll figure it out. We’ll get through it.” Emma reached out and took Lillian’s hand. “You won’t disappoint me, Lillian. I know you won’t.”
The sincerity in Emma’s eyes stirred something in Lillian. Emma truly believed every word that she was saying, truly believe that things could work out for them. Lillian wanted to believe it too. She wanted to believe that this time would be different.
“You can’t live your entire life in fear of something that might not even happen,” Emma said. “I want to give this a try. I want to give us a try.”
Emma was right. Lillian had let her career dictate her life for too long.
Not anymore.
“Okay,” Lillian said. “I want you to be my girlfriend. And I want to be yours.”
Emma smiled. “I would like that.”
A warm feeling washed over Lillian’s body. But the conversation wasn’t over. There was still another step they had to take if they were really going to be together. “What do you think about me finding you another job? We can’t hide our relationship forever.”
“I don’t mind leaving AG&W,” Emma said. “But I’d rather find a job on my own. I don’t want to take advantage of my relationship with you.”
“You wouldn’t be,” Lillian said. “You have enough experience now that you’re a competent legal assistant in your own right. Any firm would be lucky to have you. You were trained by me after all.”
“Okay,” Emma said. “I do like working with you, though. I’ll miss it when I leave.”
“I like working with you too. But it’ll be for the best.”
“I know.” Emma snuggled into Lillian again and closed her eyes.
Lillian put her arm around Emma and held her close. Soon they would have to go back to the real world. Back to the office, full of secrets and scandals. Back to pretending they were nothing more than a boss and her employee. Back to hiding what they felt for each other.
But for now, Lillian could pretend that she didn’t have a care in the world.
24
Emma
“I’m coming up there in ten minutes!” Emma yelled up the stairs. “If anyone is still awake, I’m taking away your phone.”
“You’re not Mom,” one of the twins shouted. Emma was pretty sure it was Justin because Jeremy never gave her attitude. “You can’t do that.”
“I changed your diapers for a year. That means I can do whatever I want.”
“Fine, I’m going.” He stomped to his room and slammed the door.
Emma waited at the bottom of the stairs until she couldn’t hear any more noise coming from above. She shook her head. She had missed her family so much when she first moved out. Now, after spending an hour trying to get four teenagers to go to bed, she wasn’t so sure.
She made her way down the hall. It was the first time she’d been back to her family home since her mom’s car accident over a month ago. Emma had taken her mom’s words about not worrying about her and the kids to heart. It was hard at first. She had to stop herself from calling her mom every couple of days to make sure that everything was okay. But it had gotten easier with time.
Her mom was due to have her second surgery tomorrow. This surgery required her to stay in the hospital for a couple of days afterward, so Emma had come down to help until her aunt took over in a few days’ time.
Emma reached the living room and sat on the couch next to her mom. Blue jumped up onto the couch between them, set his head on Emma’s lap, and immediately started to doze. She stroked his fur. His brown spots were speckled with gray, even more so than last time she had been here.
Emma’s mom shifted in her seat, wincing.
“Is your leg bothering you?” Emma asked.
“A little,” her mom replied. “But tomorrow will help with that.” She repositioned her leg. “How was your trip to San Francisco?”
“Good. Mostly work though.”
“Did you get to see much of the city?”
“A little bit.”
It had been a couple of weeks since Emma and Lillian got back from San Francisco. The second night of their trip had gone much the same as the first one, except that when Emma’s suggested they stay in for the evening, Lillian agreed.
As soon as they arrived back home, Lillian put in a few calls to find Emma another job. It didn’t take long until she had an offer. She gave her notice at AG&W and was starting the new job in two weeks. They both agreed that the best course of action was to continue to work together and keep their relationship under wraps until then.
But now that Emma and Lillian had gotten to experience what being together freely was really like, going back into hiding was almost painful. All Emma wanted was to walk down the street holding Lillian’s hand, to kiss her and not care if anyone saw them, to tell the whole world that they were together.
Emma glanced at her mom. It felt strange keeping something like this from her. Emma had no idea how she would react to the news that Emma was dating a woman, but she had to tell someone. She didn’t have to tell her mom all the details. Just the important parts.
“I’ve been seeing someone,” Emma said. “For a while now, actually.”
“That’s great,” her mom replied. “Who is he?”
“Someone I work with. And she’s not a he. Her name is Lillian. She’s my girlfriend.” It was the first time she’d called Lillian her girlfriend out loud.
“Huh.” Her mom paused. “Does she make you happy?”
Emma smiled. “She does.”
“Then I’m happy for you.”
They sat in silence until her mom started to chuckle.
“What is it?” Emma asked.
“When you were a kid, you used to hold these elaborate weddings between your Barbie dolls. You made me and your dad come watch and everything. It all makes sense now.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “I was just being a kid.” She only had vague memories of that. Apparently, she’d
been a romantic for even longer than she remembered.
“Does this mean you’re a lesbian now? You could be bisexual, you know. Have you heard of bisexuals?”
“Mom, I know what bisexual means.” Emma sighed. “I’m not bisexual. At least I don’t think I am. And I’m not a lesbian now. I think I’ve always been attracted to women, I just… it’s complicated.”
“Is that why things didn’t work out with Marcus?”
“I think so.” That was one loose end she’d have to tie up. Emma still cared about him. And part of why he’d been so devastated by the breakup was because neither of them understood her reasons. Telling Marcus that it was because she wasn’t interested in men might help him move on.
“Huh. I guess that makes sense.” Her mom sat back in her chair. “Are you still going to get married one day?”
“Of course I am. Why would that change?”
Her mom smiled. “I guess you are still the same Emma.”
For a split second, Emma wondered if Lillian ever wanted to get married. Then she realized how crazy it was to think about all of that since they’d only been officially a couple for a few weeks.
“Well, I’m glad that you’ve found someone, honey. I meant what I said to you last time you were here. About living for yourself. I’m happy to see that you’ve started doing that.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Emma finally felt confident that her life was going in the right direction. She had found a balance between her own desires and her family. She and Lillian were a couple now. And she saw them having a future together.
All she needed was to make it through the next two weeks.
25
Lillian
“Chelsea.” Lillian sat down across from Chelsea at their usual table at their usual restaurant. She and Chelsea were long overdue for a catch-up.
“Hi, Lillian,” Chelsea said. “How was San Francisco?”
“It was good,” Lillian replied.
“Good? You usually describe your business trips as ‘painfully dull.’”
“What can I say? San Francisco is a lovely city.” Lillian changed the subject. “How’s married life treating you?”
“It’s nice. I didn’t think a ceremony and a piece of paper would change anything between us. But it has. Everything just feels so much more intimate.” Chelsea smiled. “Maybe it’s all in my head.”
Every time Chelsea spoke about her now husband, Lillian could hear the affection in her words. A love like theirs had always seemed impossible to Lillian. But she was starting to understand just how possible it was.
Chelsea frowned. “Something is definitely going on. You’re acting strangely.”
Lillian was saved when the waiter came by to take their orders. She ordered the same thing as always, along with some sparkling water.
As soon as they were left alone, Chelsea started up again. “Now, where were we? You were about to tell me why you’re staring wistfully off into the distance?”
“It’s a long story,” Lillian replied
“Wait.” Chelsea leaned forward. “You’ve met someone, haven’t you?”
Lillian hesitated. It wasn’t like Chelsea was going to tell anyone. “Yes, I have.”
“Seriously?” Chelsea’s face lit up. “Who is this woman who has melted the Ice Queen’s heart?”
Lillian was beginning to regret ever telling Chelsea about that nickname. “Her name is Emma. Do you remember that new legal assistant I mentioned?”
Chelsea tilted her head to the side. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I know that I said I’d never go there. But I did. And once everything started, I didn’t want to stop. I took her with me to San Francisco, and now she’s my girlfriend.”
“Wow,” Chelsea said. “Doesn’t your firm have a policy about partners dating their employees?”
Lillian nodded. “We’ve been keeping it a secret.”
“You’re willing to risk your job over this woman?”
“I don’t know. To be honest, the more I think about it, the less I care about the effect it could have on my job. I’m tired, Chelsea. Tired of defending corporate scumbags and helping the absurdly wealthy become even wealthier. Tired of my career dominating my life. I’ve been sick of it all for a while now. I just didn’t realize it until Emma came along and reminded me that there’s so much more to life.”
“This Emma of yours must be pretty special,” Chelsea said.
“She is.” Lillian sighed. “I don’t want to hide our relationship anymore. I’ve found her a new job, but until then, we’re going to have to keep everything under wraps.”
“You’ll get through it.” Chelsea smiled reassuringly. “I’m happy for you, Lillian.”
“Thanks, Chelsea.”
“So, when do I get to meet Emma? You two should come over to dinner sometime.”
“Sure,” Lillian said. The idea of having to sit through dinner with Chelsea and her husband behaving all lovey-dovey would normally have bored her. But for some reason, it sounded nice. Maybe Emma’s romantic notions were rubbing off on her.
The waiter arrived with their food. Lillian noticed too late that he had forgotten her sparkling water. She turned in her chair and scanned the room for him.
Lillian froze. Sitting by himself at a table in the corner was a familiar-looking man. He wasn’t wearing his blue baseball cap, and he had a dark blazer on instead of a jacket. But his build, and the way he held himself, told Lillian that it was the same man she had been seeing everywhere.
“Chelsea,” Lillian said. “Try not to stare, but there’s a man at the table in the corner behind me.” She shifted in her seat so that Chelsea could get a better look. “Do you know him?”
The restaurant was almost exclusively patronized by lawyers and businesspeople, most of whom were regulars like Lillian and Chelsea. Between the two of them, they knew almost everyone in the room.
Chelsea glanced at the man, then returned her gaze to Lillian. “No, I’ve never seen him before. Why?”
“It’s nothing,” Lillian said. “Forget that I said anything.”
“All right,” Chelsea replied.
Lunch passed by quickly. It wasn’t long before they both had to go back to work. Before they left the restaurant, Lillian looked over at the table in the corner.
The man was gone.
By the time Lillian got home from work, it was dark. She unlocked her door and entered her apartment, flipping through her mail as she walked. It was mostly bills. She placed it on the table in the hall, then went into the living room and flicked on the light.
She stopped in her tracks. Something wasn’t right. As she glanced around the room, her eyes fell on the door to the spare bedroom. She always kept it shut. For some reason, the latch wouldn’t catch properly unless she jiggled the door handle the right way. And now, the door was open slightly, as if someone had tried to close it but without knowing the trick. Lillian always made sure it was closed properly. Which only meant one thing.
Someone had been in her apartment.
Lillian looked around again. Was the person still here? She backed toward the door and entered 911 into her phone. Leaving and calling the police was the obvious thing to do. Her finger hovered over the screen, but she didn’t press call. Instead, Lillian stood in place and listened. Her apartment was completely silent. And it looked undisturbed at first glance. Was this just like her office at work? Had her home been searched, but nothing had been taken?
Keeping her phone in her hand and her thumb close to the call button, Lillian walked over to the spare room and opened the door. No one was in there. She entered each room in her apartment, one by one. Every one of them was empty. She let out a sigh of relief. Whoever had been in her house was no longer here.
Lillian went back to her bedroom and into her walk-in closet and removed a handful of dresses from one of the racks. Set into the wall behind it was a small safe. She didn’t keep much in there—some jewelry, important documents, emergency cash. If this
were some kind of professional robbery, it would have been the first thing the thieves would have gone for. And it had to be a professional. Her building had excellent security.
She examined the safe door. It showed no evidence of being tampered with. Lillian entered the combination and opened the safe. Everything was still in there. She went back into her bedroom and opened the jewelry box on her dresser. It was all there too. Whoever was in here wasn’t looking for valuables.
She backtracked through the house, checking every room. Nothing had been taken. But there were minor signs of disturbance everywhere. The rarely used side table in the living room was clean of dust when there should have been a week or two of buildup. The fibers in the rug, indented by a foot far bigger than hers. Even the bottom drawer of her dresser, which mostly contained lingerie, appeared to have been looked through carefully, a thought which made her shudder.
Someone had searched through her things. And they did a thorough job of it too.
Lillian returned to the living room and sat down on her couch. The building was supposed to have twenty-four-hour security as well as a state-of-the-art digital security system. No one should have been able to get up to her floor, let alone her apartment, in the first place. There were security cameras in the lobby that could be checked. And she could ask the doorman if he’d let any strangers in. But that seemed improbable. All of this seemed improbable.
Was she imagining all this? Was she having some kind of nervous breakdown from all the stress? That would have been much simpler than the reality. Someone was watching her. And that someone was looking for something.
Who could it possibly be? There were so many options. A disgruntled colleague whose advances she’d rejected? A former client, or someone who had been on the receiving end of one of her client’s lawsuits? She’d worked on plenty of high-stakes cases and pissed off a lot of powerful people. Her actions had indirectly caused people to lose their companies, or lose their fortunes, or end up in jail. They deserved it of course. But she wouldn’t be surprised if they held a grudge.
