by Amy Clipston
A horn behind them tooted, and Ephraim guided the horse through the intersection.
A heavy silence fell between them, and Mandy racked her brain for how to make Ephraim understand her point of view. Wasn’t it obvious that this wasn’t the best time to get married?
“Ephraim, please hear me out,” she began. “Your parents are under a lot of stress right now. The wedding is the last thing they need to worry about. They need to be concerned about Darlene and her family first.”
“I disagree,” Ephraim said. “They love you, and they want you to be part of our family.”
“I know that,” Mandy kept her words measured. “I love your family, too, but things will be better in a few months. Let’s wait until everything settles down. We’ll still have to wait for our haus, but at least—”
“No.” He interrupted her. “I don’t want to wait.”
Mandy pinched the bridge of her nose. “There’s no reason to rush.”
“There’s no reason to wait,” he said, challenging her.
She blew out a frustrated sigh and looked out at the passing traffic.
“You’re having doubts, aren’t you?” he spat. “That’s the real reason you want to put off the wedding. You were going to use the excuse that you had too much to do, but now Darlene has given you an even better excuse.”
“What?” She spun to face him. “That’s ridiculous!”
“Then why won’t you marry me now?”
“I’ve already explained my reasoning. Why can’t you wait a few months?” she said. “What’s the hurry? We’ve been engaged only two weeks. Let’s take our time and enjoy our engagement.”
“You’ve known me nearly your whole life. We don’t need a long engagement.”
She scrunched her eyes shut. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
He turned back toward the windshield and stared at the road ahead. A muscle ticked in his tense jaw.
Mandy folded her arms over her chest and sat up straight. They were at a stalemate. She couldn’t think of any way to sway him.
They sat in silence as her family’s house came into view. If only she could cut the tension pulsing between them.
“Ephraim,” she said when they stopped behind her house, “I’ve loved you since I was a little girl. I always dreamt that someday you would see me as more than Katie Ann’s best friend, and that dream came true last Christmas. Then another dream came true when you asked me to be your fraa.”
She turned to face him and found him staring at his lap. “I do want to marry you, but I think we need to wait a few months. Your family is in turmoil now. Your parents will most likely be relieved if they hear we’re going to delay the wedding. That will give your family time to adjust to this new situation without my adding to the crowded conditions, and, yes, it will give me time to prepare for the wedding.”
“We’ll have my room.”
“And four women would be sharing the kitchen instead of three. I think that will be too much for all of us. We’ll trip over each other. We didn’t even plan for three, since we thought we’d have our own haus next spring. Now your schweschder and her family need one instead.”
“I think you’ve changed your mind about marrying me, but you won’t admit it.”
“That’s not true! I’ve just realized it’s too soon for our wedding, especially since your family is dealing with a crisis. It would be selfish for us to get married now.”
“Selfish?”
“Ya, selfish. You need to think about your schweschder and her family. You have to move them in and help rearrange the haus. How can you even think about our wedding when they need your help?”
“So you think I’m selfish.” He leaned back against the buggy door. “What else do you think about me?”
“You’re twisting my words.” She threw up her hands and nearly dropped the dish and container still on her lap. “I don’t understand why we’re arguing about this.”
“Maybe we should just break up.”
“What?” Her eyes stung, threatening tears. “You want to break up with me just because I want to delay our wedding?” She fought a sob as tears welled.
“Even if you do still want to marry me, you don’t seem to want to deal with my family’s problems because you’ll be inconvenienced. Not just with what you consider a crowd, but because we won’t have our own haus as soon as we thought. So maybe we should just forget our plans.”
“Ephraim, you’re overreacting. Stop and listen to what you’re saying.”
“I know what I’m saying. My family has a hard time, so you choose to distance yourself.”
“I don’t want to break up. You’re blowing this way out of proportion!” Her voice shook as fear spiraled through her. But she was frustrated too. “Maybe you’re too stubborn to think someone else might have a gut idea. You always have to be in control. You always have to make the decisions in our relationship. My opinion matters too!”
“Is that so?” he snapped. “So you think I’m selfish, bossy, and controlling?”
“Ya, I do!”
“Maybe this relationship won’t work, then.”
“I never said that!”
“We need some space.” He turned to stare out the windshield.
“What does that mean?”
“That means we should take a break and talk about this again some other time.”
“So you are breaking up with me?” Her voice shook.
“I don’t know.” Ephraim scrubbed his hand down his face. “This is too much to take in. It’s been a crazy night.”
“I know.” She nodded as her hands trembled. “But I love you. I don’t want to take a break. I just want to slow down.”
He shook his head. “Well, I do need a break. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“But you’re moving your schweschder and her family tomorrow.”
“So we’ll talk another day.”
Was she dreaming? This felt like a nightmare!
“We’ll talk another day,” she repeated, trying to make sense of his words. “You just told me you need a break, and you don’t know when you want to work it out.” Her stomach tightened with growing panic.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, Ephraim, I’m sorry.” She scooped up the container and dish with one arm, flung open the buggy door, and ran up the path to the back porch. Once in the mudroom, she dropped the containers on the bench, shucked her coat, and hung it on a peg on the wall. Then she sank to the floor, covered her face with her hands, and dissolved into gasping sobs.
CHAPTER 3
Mandy!” Mamm’s voice sounded close by.
Mandy tried in vain to get hold of her raging emotions, but her tears continued to fall, rolling down her cheeks, darkening her black apron and the skirt of her favorite green dress. She removed her hands from her face and found her mother squatting in front of her. Mamm pushed back a stray tendril of Mandy’s hair that had escaped her prayer covering.
“Was iss letz?” Mamm’s sky-blue eyes were warm and kind, causing more tears to fill Mandy’s eyes. Mamm clicked her tongue. “Ach, mei liewe. What could possibly have upset you so much?”
“I think it’s over,” Mandy managed.
“What’s over?” Mamm’s eyes searched hers.
“Eph—” Mandy couldn’t say the words aloud. Had Ephraim truly broken their engagement? Wasn’t she dreaming? But her broken heart was real—so real she thought she could feel the shards cutting her inside.
“Rhoda!” Mamm called. “Grab a box of tissues and bring it to the mudroom. Dummle!” Then she turned back to Mandy and placed her hands on her arms. “Whatever it is, I promise it’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this together.”
Mandy shook her head. No, she’d never get over this. Never.
“What happened?” Rhoda appeared in the doorway holding a box of tissues. At sixteen, her sister was petite like Mandy, and she’d also inherited their mother’s same sunshine-colored hair and bright-blue eyes.
Those eyes widened as she kneeled beside Mamm.
Mandy took deep, shuddering breaths, trying to stem her sobs.
“Shh.” Mamm mopped up her tears with a tissue. “Just calm down and talk to us. We can help you if you tell us what happened.”
“I’ll put on tea.” Rhoda popped up and hurried into the kitchen.
“Gut idea.” Mamm held out her hand to Mandy. “Kumm.”
Mandy took her mother’s extended hand and let her guide her into the kitchen.
“Sit.” Mamm nodded to Mandy’s usual spot at the table.
Mandy sat down and swiped a few tissues across her face. How had this happened?
Tears filled her eyes anew.
“Mandy.” Mamm sat down beside her and took her hands. “Talk to me.”
Mandy sucked in a deep breath. “I think Ephraim broke up with me.”
“What?” Rhoda came to stand behind their mother.
“We had an argument on the way home from his parents’ haus. I told him I thought we should delay the wedding. He got upset and accused me of things that aren’t true.” As she explained everything, it was hard to keep her voice steady, but she managed to keep her tears at bay. “I can’t believe it. I just asked to delay the wedding, but he made all kinds of assumptions and blew everything I said out of proportion.”
The kettle whistled, and Rhoda poured water over tea bags in three mugs and carried them to the table.
“Danki.” Mandy wrapped her hands around her mug and stared into the hot liquid.
Rhoda sat down across from her and shook her head. “I don’t know what to say, except I know Ephraim loves you. I can tell every time he looks at you. Maybe he needs a day to think about everything, and then he’ll realize you’re right.”
“But I don’t understand why he’s so upset. What’s wrong with waiting a few months until his family has adjusted to their new situation? What’s wrong with giving me enough time to get ready? As I thought about both needs, it dawned on me that delaying the wedding made sense. What do you think, Mamm?” Mandy looked over at her mother. Surely she would have some words of wisdom to make everything better.
Mamm took a sip of her tea and then set down her mug. “I think you’re right.”
“So how do I convince Ephraim?”
Mamm tapped her finger against her chin. “What if you propose a new plan to him?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think Ephraim realizes how much Darlene’s needs change everything for his family. I’d take your concern about moving into Marlin’s house further. Even if you delay your wedding for a few months, you still won’t have your own haus for some time. Maybe years. And I’ve always thought privacy is best for a young couple. It’s not selfish to want that.
“What if after the wedding Ephraim moved into our home? The one drawback is that he’d no longer be on-site to work on his father’s dairy farm, but he could work for your dat’s brickmasonry company. Then I’m sure your dat would want to build a haus for you here.”
Mandy blinked. “That’s a brilliant idea!” She leaned forward. “Do you think Dat would agree to it?”
“Would I agree to what?”
Mandy turned to find her father stepping into the kitchen. With his light-brown hair and gray-blue eyes, Mandy had always thought he was the most handsome older man she knew.
“Ephraim’s older schweschder and her family have fallen on hard times, and they’re moving in with Ephraim’s parents,” Mandy began. “Their haus will be crowded now, and I suggested we delay our wedding, at least until Marlin builds a house for Darlene and her family next spring. Now Ephraim is upset with me.”
Dat took a seat across from her at the table. “I don’t see why he should be upset. It sounds like a mature idea to me.”
“Danki.” Mandy cupped her hands around her warm mug. “This also means Ephraim and I won’t have our own haus for some time. Mamm came up with an idea to make this whole situation a little easier on everybody. What if Ephraim moved in here after we’re married and went to work for you?”
Dat nodded as he touched his beard. “Of course. Your husband would always be welcome to live here until you find a place, and I’ve been thinking about hiring someone else.” He looked at Mamm. “We could also build them a haus here. We have plenty of land.”
“Ya.” Mamm nodded and smiled. “I thought you’d say that.”
“Do you both think Ephraim will agree to this plan?” The question leapt from Mandy’s lips before she could stop it.
Mamm ran her fingers over her mug as she nodded. “I think it’s a possibility. If Uria and Darlene are going to live there, and Uria will help run the dairy, then his becoming a brickmason is a great plan for him and for you.”
Dat’s smile was warm and encouraging. “I’d love to have him as my apprentice.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” Rhoda chimed in.
“You and Ephraim need to calm down and talk this out, though.” Mamm’s voice was gentle but firm. “You can’t make this decision for him. Really listen to each other and think about your future.”
Mandy’s lower lip began to tremble, and she held her breath. She wanted to marry Ephraim, raise a family with him, and grow old with him. But she wanted to get married when the time was right. Would he change his mind? Would he even consider living with her family and changing his vocation for her?
“What are you thinking, mei liewe?” Mamm rubbed her arm. “I hate to see you so troubled.”
“I’m still confused, and anxious.” Mandy slumped back in her chair. “It seemed like everything was perfect two weeks ago when Ephraim proposed to me. But now I don’t understand why he can’t see things from my point of view. Tonight it felt like God was saying we should slow down. But when I suggested it, Ephraim accused me of using Darlene’s circumstances as an excuse. He said maybe I’m having doubts about marrying him. Then he said I was just feeling inconvenienced because Marlin’s haus would be crowded, plus we wouldn’t have our own haus next spring. Why is he making these things up? Why is he so defensive?”
Dat leaned back in his chair. “Probably because all these changes are out of his control. He feels like he should be able to provide a better life for you, but he can’t right now. He’s doubting himself, not you. Just give him time to think and calm down. Even if he’s not willing to move here and work with me, he’ll realize delaying the wedding makes gut sense.”
“How long do you think that will take?” Mandy rubbed the back of her tightening neck as she waited for her father to calm her worries.
“I think Ephraim can be a bit stubborn,” Dat said. “Am I right?”
“Ya.” Mandy nodded. “He can be very stubborn.”
“He might need a few days, but I believe he’ll come around.” Dat smiled. “Trust God.”
“Exactly,” Mamm said. “Just pray about it, and then talk to Ephraim. God will lead you both to the right answer.”
“Ya, Mamm is right.” Rhoda nodded, and the ties to her prayer covering fluttered around her slight shoulders.
“I will.” Mandy picked up her mug and took a long sip. She silently prayed her family was right, that Ephraim would agree to delay the wedding rather than throw away their love. But she had to admit, she also hoped he’d be willing to alter their plans and live with her family. That just seemed like the best idea for everyone.
“Dat?” Ephraim’s entire body shook as he walked toward the light he saw glowing near the back of his father’s largest barn. “Dat, are you in here?”
“Ephraim?” Dat walked toward him, carrying a lantern. “Are you all right?”
“No, I need to talk to you. Are you alone?” Ephraim set his lantern on the ground. Then he lifted his straw hat and pushed his hand through his thick hair.
“Ya, I’m alone. I was just checking on the animals.” He pointed toward the stalls. “Darlene, Uria, and the maed went home. What’s going on?”
“I think Mandy and I may have just broken up.�
�
“What?” Dat’s dark eyes widened. “Why would you break up? You seemed fine earlier when she stopped by with you.”
“Ya.” Ephraim scowled and looked toward the barn doors as confusion swamped him. Had he made a mistake? None of this made any sense.
“Why?”
“We argued on the way to her haus. She wants to delay the wedding. She thinks she doesn’t have enough time to get ready. She also thinks our family has too much going on with Darlene and her family moving in, and if she moves in, the haus will be too crowded.” Ephraim rubbed at a knot on his shoulder. “I got upset. I don’t want to wait a few months to get married. I think we have plenty of time to get ready, and I’m okay if the haus is a little crowded. She disagrees with me. We argued, and we said some horrible things. I told her we both needed some space. I guess we kind of broke up.” He grimaced as doubt edged his words.
Dat touched his beard and looked past Ephraim.
“What, Dat?” Ephraim touched his father’s arm. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m surprised. You two seemed so froh. Do you really want to break up over this?”
“I don’t know.” Ephraim sat down on a hay bale. “There’s more. I accused her of making excuses to delay the wedding because she’s having doubts about our relationship, and because she’s feeling inconvenienced by the prospect of sharing a haus with so many of us. Unless that’s true, I just don’t understand why she wants to delay the wedding. Her excuses don’t make sense to me.”
Dat sat down beside him. “Maybe she really does just want to wait for things to settle down.”
“Maybe, and maybe she does still want to marry me. But this feels like she doubts the strength of our relationship.” Ephraim kicked a stone with his shoe. “Then she said I’m stubborn and bossy and controlling, and that makes me doubt our relationship.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, where a headache brewed. “I’ve been looking forward to starting our life together, but now . . . How did you know when it was time to marry Mamm?”
“Well, your mamm and I had known each other for years, like you and Mandy have,” Dat began. “We started dating when we were in our early twenties, and then I just knew when it was time.”
