by S. N. Garza
This time, he does flinch back and yeah, I hope he feels that deep down in that locked up soul of his.
“It’s not—
“Don’t you understand I can’t stand the sight of you? You put the only person I have ever loved in here. Oh, you might not have been the one to run you off the road, but you still let her in the same room with a sick, twisted son of a bitch.”
“I. Didn’t. Know.”
“Yeah, you didn’t. No fucking wonder Susan George got out as soon as she could. You’re so goddamn blind you can’t see past anything but yourself. No wonder you’re so goddamn lonely. Well, Willow’s not going to be another victim of the great Marcus Saint. Even if that means the two of us leaving and never stepping foot in this town again. If I lose her, I’m gone.”
Then I swiftly turn around and walk into the room where a nurse is finishing up whatever she’s doing, but as soon as she sees me, she says, “No one can be in here right now. Vis—
I give her a look that conveys whatever feeling that’s coursing through me because she shuts her fucking piehole.
“Just keep it down, young man.”
I don’t say anything. I know she’s just doing her job, but still. I can see the way she’s stealing glances at me. Sympathetic glimpses because I’m still crying, and I can’t stop. I look at Willow, all banged up and bandaged and a wave of fear swamps me.
“Oh, dear.” Then I feel hands on my shoulders and I’m sitting down. “Just breathe. One breath at a time. That’s it, honey. Just breathe.” Her soft voice is calming and does the job effectively enough I can get a hold of myself.
“Will she…,” I stop, not able to ask what I’m deathly afraid to ask. This is why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone on such an intimate level. Willow—she just sunk into my soul like she’s always been there. I can’t do this without her. I won’t do it.
“Will she what?”
“Is she going to be okay?”
“As long as she gets the rest she needs and is taken care of, yes. The doctor said she should have a complete recovery. There might be amnesia when she wakes up, but right now, we wait for the swelling to go down and wait it out. But the diagnosis is looking good. She’s young. Strong. Resilient. If you want, you can talk to her. Quietly though. They say if you talk to them, they can hear you with their subconscious.
“What if she doesn’t remember me?”
She gently pats my shoulder and says, “I wouldn’t forget you. And I’m over fifty. Like the old King James says, you just have to keep faith. His graceful eyes will see you through it. Talk to Him. Talk to her.”
“I’m not really a church person.”
“It doesn’t matter. He knows what’s in here.” She taps my chest, right over my heart. And I can’t help the tears that bubble in my eyes.
“I can’t lose her. She’s my everything.”
“Then continue being strong for her. When all hope fails, faith will out.” Then without another word, she leaves the room, leaving me and Willow alone. And all I hear is the steady beeping of her heart on the monitor.
I scoot the chair right up to the bed and take her hand.
I gently squeeze it.
I hope she feels my strength, love, hope and what faith I have rushing through my body and into her.
I lean up, kiss her brow where there’s a bandage and I whisper, “Baby, you’re perfect. Everything I have ever wanted is right in front of me. I’m not leaving. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just… know how much I love you. Will always love you. With every breath in my body. Don’t leave me.” My voice breaks, but I don’t care. She’s the only thing in my world that matters.
I sit back down and put my other hand on the other side of hers, so it’s sandwiched in between, and I shut my eyes and start praying.
And I don’t stop.
>><<
Two days. She’s been sleeping and recovering for two days now. Luke has been in here, too. I think he told my father to stay away. Which he has. Since he had hit his head pretty bad too, our family doctor told him to stay in the hospital for observation.
The doctor came in here and explained everything. He felt strongly about her making a complete recovery. She just has to heal a bit before they wake her up.
Yeah. They put her in an induced coma, forcing her to sleep, so the swelling in her brain can go down. Luckily and thankfully, it has, and they just lifted the meds, so she should be waking up anytime now.
Luke said he was going to get some coffee and knew I wasn’t going to say anything, so he just got up and left the room. I haven’t moved from this spot in almost forty-eight hours except twice to piss and then I was right back here. Holding her hand and praying. I prayed like I never prayed before. The doctor also said she might have slight amnesia too, but we have to wait for her to wake up and see. Take it from there if she did. I look at her, see my worldview shrink until she’s the only thing I see. I promised I wasn’t going to tear up again, but here I am, eyes burning.
“Willow. You can’t leave me. You promised, remember? Willow, I prayed for you. For someone to love me like you love me. I wasn’t expecting you, but you came and threw everything in my world on its axis. He heard me, baby. He heard me ask for you all my life. I didn’t know your face or name but the moment I saw you, I felt it. Something… shifted. I can’t lose you. Not now or ever. Wake up, baby. Wake up and remember me. Please, God, let her remember me.”
“Keep that up and you’ll lose your douchebag status quicker than lightning.”
My head jerks up and her face is still, her eyes are closed. No. I couldn’t have imagined it. “Willow?”
“You’re… so… sweet.”
“Oh, merciful heaven.” I get up and yeah, I don’t care if I have tears. I can’t keep them at bay any longer. I get close and gently lay my forehead down on hers. “You’re awake. You’re awake and you remember me?”
“There’s no forgetting a man like you, Gabriel. I’d be pretty stupid to.”
“God, I love you. I love you, Willow.” My voice shakes as I try my best not to grab a hold of her and press her into me. She came back to me. Thank you, God.
I lean back and her eyes slightly open, and my tears fall and drop onto her cheeks. She slowly reaches up and cups my own, wiping away the tears slipping down my face.
“Gabriel… will you tell me something?”
“Anything, baby.”
“It’s been stewing in my mind for a while. When we went to church in Brisbon, what were you praying about?”
I take her hand in mine and press a kiss to her knuckles. “Thanking God for sending you to me. Because I did, you know? Pray for you. Before I ever knew you, I prayed for you. And I never thought it would happen. Then there you were. Sassy as all get out, beautiful, graceful, perfect in every single way. Everything I ever wanted. Finally. I love you, Willow.” And I hate being so fucking emotional but hearing her voice, seeing her beautiful blue eyes open for me, my voice cracks, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have been with you. I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Your dad was there.”
“I’ll never forgive him for that. Willow, he had no right to take you there. Not without me. As far as he’s concerned, he’s no longer a part of my life.”
“Gabriel.”
“Willow, you… you have no idea what it was like learning you were at the mercy of a monster and then the mercy of a madwoman.
“Madwoman?” Her face crunches, but then pain must be riddling through her as her hand flies up to her head. “God, it hurts. Gabriel… did he tell you what happened?”
“Shh… slow, Willow. Settle. I don’t want you hurting, baby. About what? That Everett George is your great grandfather? Yeah. I wanted to tell you, but he made me promise and I hated keeping things from you, but I didn’t want you to get hurt. When you found out, I wanted to be there, and that fucking dick took the choice out of my hands. He deliberately sent me away, so he could take you himself. And then to find out he
’s a sick son a bitch who… I could kill him.”
“It’s a good thing he did and not you anyway.
“Why’s that?”
“Because… because…” I see her ready to tear up and I don’t know if I can handle her tears. It makes me want to break something. Like my father’s face.
“Shh… it’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to explain anything. You just had a very big accident. Hell, it was an attempted murder. And I know, baby. I know what he did to your mom.”
“Who was it? You said madwoman?”
“It’s not important. It’s been dealt with.”
“Gabriel.”
“Willow, Coach Hanley, Britney Hanley, is my aunt. She’s my mother’s older sister.”
“Your aunt? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“She was never a part of my life. She hates my mother, for whatever reason she does, and I’ve never really liked her. She reminds me of all the bitches around here. My father fucked her last summer. God, I hate that guy.”
“I think… Gabriel?”
“What, baby?”
“Oh, well, wow. Maybe she hated me because I’m hanging around you?”
“It’s not that. She’s… honestly, baby, no one here gives a fuck about Britney Hanley. She’s gone, out of our lives for good. Trust me on this, Willow.”
She instantly relaxes and her azul eyes seem to take everything in because she gives me the sweetest, but smallest of smiles. “I do. I trust you more than anyone in this entire world. Gabriel, the man I met was a monster.” Her voice breaks and it takes everything inside of me not to pull her into my arms.
“Did he do anything to you?”
“Not me. But my mother. My grandmother. His wife. He might also have had something to do with her death, too.”
“You can tell me everything, later. But right now, don’t force it. I won’t have you hurting any more than you already are.”
“Gabriel, he molested my grandmother and had a daughter with her who is my mother.
“Dad told me.”
It was Father who told me. Even though I didn’t want to listen to him go on about the love of his life, the discovery made me want to go right over to the George house and strangle that evil motherfucker, but no way was I going to leave Willow’s side. Never again.
“You don’t sound very happy with him.”
“Willow, he never should have done that. He shouldn’t have sent me away. Honestly, we could leave Grifton Falls and never come back, and I’d be a happy man.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
“Yes, I would.”
“No, Gabriel. We’re meant to be here. You’re meant to work with your dad and build your own empire and—
“Marry you. Have babies with you. Grow old with you. And he almost denied me all of that.”
She gasps, water glistening in her eyes. “You want all that?”
“Goddamn right I do.”
“When did you figure all that out?” Her eyes are filled with tears and I hope they’re happy ones. The way she’s biting her lip and smiling so sweetly to me, I think they are.
“The moment I looked up and saw you, you made my heart beat for the first time. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you. Someone who’s just mine. Who loves me without all the extra shit.”
She lets go of her lip as this dreamy sigh escapes. “Gabriel, I love you, you big marshmallow.”
Thirty
Willow
After we talked the first time, my head began to ache and with a press of a button, I fall back asleep. This time when I open my eyes, I see Gabriel in the recliner next to me, Uncle Luke on the other side of me, and Marcus is in front of me in a recliner he must have dragged in here. Even after Gabriel said he doesn’t want anything to do with his father, it’s surprising he’s even here. Although, I’m grateful. Marcus is awake, looking right at me with solemn, sad eyes.
I give him a small smile and then I shift back to see Uncle Luke in a chair next to my bed, his head resting on his folded arms on the edge of the hospital bed.
“Uncle Luke?” My voice is scratchy, but it wakes him up. Gabriel, too. As soon as he sees his father, says, “What the fuck you doing in here? Didn’t I tell you to stay the fuck away from me and mine?”
Before Marcus can say anything, Uncle Luke says, “I told him to pick a spot. Whatever grievances you have with him, will have to be put on the back burner. He’s her godfather. While I don’t like him either, he means something to Willow. Just… stomach it and move on right now.” Then he turns to me, “Willow? I’m so happy you’re awake. God, you scared me to death when I called out for you and you didn’t answer me back. I’m so glad you’re alright.”
“In a sense. Uncle Luke, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, Willow-Tree.”
I probably should wait until I’m all healed up, but the question is burning relentless in my mind.
“Did my mother ever leave journals behind?”
That seems to get them all sitting up straighter. Uncle Luke’s brow raises, as he thinks it over. “I believe so. If she did, they’d be in their bedroom. Why?”
“I don’t know if I want to read them, but there were several at Everett George’s house. I brought them with me, they’re in Marcus car when we… oh no. Your car!”
“It’s okay, babygirl. I needed an upgrade anyway. The journals are at my house. I not so accidentally read one. I don’t know if you should continue reading them. It’s not how I want you to remember her.”
“She’ll read them if she wants to, asshole. She’s not some weak, frail little girl.”
I look to see the fierce gaze in Gabriel’s eyes as he stares his father down. “My champion.”
His ocean eyes find mine and there’s so much emotion is his eyes when he says, “Always, fairy-girl.”
I mouth, “I love you.”
Proudly, he says, “I love you, Willow.”
This happy feeling surges within me. “You’re so sweet.”
He groans, this comical expression slips on his face as he crunches his nose in disgust. “Just wait until you’re healed up, Willow. Just wait.”
“Please. Let’s not go there while I’m in the room, for fucks sake.” Uncle Luke says and I can’t help laughing. Then instantly my head hurts and I groan.
“Willow!” Gabriel shoots up and comes to me, not knowing what he should do, but it doesn't matter, I love him for even being here and trying to take care of me.
I look up at Marcus, realizing he’s watching the play-by-play between Gabriel and I, and I see there’s a deep, deep pain and despair in his gaze.
“Gus, Uncle Luke, I’d like to talk to Marcus alone, please.”
“I don’t know, Willow.” Gabriel says, trying to protect me, but Uncle Luke stands up, nodding.
“Come on, Gabriel. They should talk.”
“Thank you, Uncle Luke.” He gives me a tentative smile and leans down, pressing his lips gently to my temple.
“We’ll be right outside, Willow-Tree. Don’t ever do that to me again.” I look in his eyes, see the unshed tears in them, and I can't help but reach up and try to give him an awkward hug. He gently returns it, helping me lay back down. “I love you, Willow-Tree.”
“I love you too, Uncle Luke.”
“Willow—
“Gus, please.”
Gabriel stands and without another word walks to the door, but not before turning to his father saying, “I swear if I come back and see her crying or upset, I’ll beat you within an inch of your life.”
Before Marcus can say anything, Gabriel walks out the door, without giving me a second glance. But I understand, a lot has happened, and he resents his father for my being where I am. It’s not his fault I'm in the hospital, but the knowledge of my family, the past I never knew existed, is because of what transpired the other night. I don’t blame Marcus, though. I know Gabriel does. And that’s a deep-seated anger that's lived inside Gabriel all his life
. Knowing he wasn’t supposed to happen. That his father supposedly never loved his mother and perhaps him. Which I’m going to change. I think Marcus is hiding a lot of pain, but also, there’s something about him that sparked when he got close to his wife, Laurel. A spark is enough to ignite any candle. I want more for him than to waste away pining for my mother. She’s gone. There’s nothing anyone could do to bring her back.
Then Uncle Luke takes the door in his hand and casually says, “What he said, and I’ll help him bury your body.” Then follows behind, closing the door to give us privacy.
Marcus turns to me, giving me his normal blank, droll stare. He and I have a connection after the other night. What happened in that house, learning what we did, and him never knowing what was going on? The accident. Almost dying. There will always be a connection between us that will never break.
“I know what you’re going to say, babygirl. But I—
“Shut up, Marcus.”
He does instantly and then glares at me. “Your mother never spoke to me like this.”
“I don’t care. And I know you might not want me to read her journals—
“There’s no might about it. The half one I read—
He closes his eyes and a shudder goes through his body. When he looks back up at me, tears glisten in his dark, oceanic gaze. “How could I have not known? She was my best friend. The one person I could always count on. Through thick and thin. My father was no better than I am to Gabriel and she… she made everything better. And I never saw anything past myself. There’s no way I could if I didn’t see it. What kind of friend does that make me? That I didn’t save her? What signs did she try and convey, and I blatantly became blind to?”
“Marcus.”
“My best friend. Willow, she was my entire world. And I didn’t—no. You shouldn’t read them if they’re anything like what I read.”
“But she’s my mother. I want to understand her. Get to know her. Because despite what those journals say, she was so strong in what she did. Those paintings too. I see every emotion is them. You have several in your house.”
