by Jenny Lee
“Well actually, in the original movies, Schwarzenegger arrived from the future buck naked.” As soon as he spoke, Dustin regretted it. Why was he bringing up nudity? He tried to recover by quickly adding, “The whole naked thing was a comedic device, something the director used to add levity to the serious tone of the movie.” Now he regretted sounding like a film geek. “Hey, will you dance with me? When or if we ever get in?”
“I’m surprised you like to dance,” Kimmie blurted. “Sorry, that came out weird. I guess when I think of geniuses, dancing isn’t what comes to mind.”
“Well, clearly I’m no genius because I really want to dance with you.” Dustin now understood what made cocaine so addictive, because it was allowing him to just say anything he thought without worrying about it. He had been reluctant to partake earlier but Steven convinced him a line or two might be just what he needed to get out of his own head. He felt foolish succumbing to peer pressure, but he had been wildly anxious all day over seeing Kimmie and by the time he got to Steven’s he was desperate to feel something else. Now he felt surprisingly optimistic about his prospects with Kimmie for the night, though he had a suspicion the drugs were the reason for that, too.
Kimmie agreed to dance with him, and she meant it. She loved to dance and didn’t want to be one of those girls who only danced with other girls in a circle. She always felt sorry for them. She also felt it’d be a good thing for Vronsky to show up and see her having fun already, so he didn’t think she had been standing around waiting for him.
The dance floor was already packed and a speaker-thumping remix of Craig Mack’s “Flava in Ya Ear” blared as they walked in. The teenage bar was serving nonalcoholic cocktails sponsored by Red Bull, but it seemed like every kid in the place was packing a flask or a vape pen. The lines for the bathroom were also long, giving away those who were into the harder stuff. Steven asked Dustin if he wanted to accompany him to the men’s room, but Dustin shook his head. His mission of dancing with Kimmie was already in motion, so he felt like he didn’t need any more chemical help. He watched as Steven grabbed Lolly’s hand and led her away and turned to see Kimmie holding out two Jell-O shots for him.
“Red or green?” Kimmie shouted at him over the music.
He was about to answer he’d take whichever one she didn’t want, but he reminded himself that girls liked assertive men. “Green, definitely green.” He took the tiny plastic cup she was offering and sucked it down. “What’s in these?”
Kimmie laughed and shrugged. “No clue! Some club kid just offered me some,” she said and quickly slurped down the red one. She was slightly nervous, because god only knows what they could contain, but since she’d arrived at the party her anxiety had risen and she needed something to level her out. There were so many people she wondered how Vronsky would be able to find her.
Kimmie grabbed Dustin’s hand and led him out onto the dance floor. They were soon at the center movin’ and groovin’ to Q-Tip’s “Vivrant Thing.” Halfway through the song Dustin noticed Vronsky twenty feet away standing beside the dance floor, drinking out of a silver flask. Dustin recognized him from the Google search he had done as soon as Steven mentioned his name. Dustin had known he’d be good-looking, but he wasn’t prepared for the extent of it. The only thing that made him feel better were the sheer number of pictures of Vronsky with so many different beautiful girls. It obviously made sense he was interested in Kimmie because Dustin found her more beautiful than any girl he had seen on Vronsky’s arm, but he hoped that perhaps the Count was a guy who never settled for one girl.
When he saw Vronsky, he thought about trying to block Kimmie from view, but it was too late. Vronsky had spotted them already and even raised his flask in cheers upon catching Dustin’s eye. Dustin held his breath, hoping his rival wouldn’t approach them, and was relieved to see that it appeared he had no intention of doing so. Vronsky seemed to be too busy scanning the crowd for someone else.
After dancing to Jay-Z’s “Who You Wit” and Lords of the Underground’s “Chief Rocka,” Kimmie wanted to see if Anna had shown up and motioned for Dustin to follow her. To make sure he didn’t lose her in the crowd, he reached for her hand, happy when she let him hold it, as they snaked through the throng of partygoers toward the main bar. “You’re a great dancer, Kimmie,” he murmured into her hair when their progress was stopped by a group of people watching a shirtless guy pop and lockin’ on the dance floor in front of them.
She smiled and nodded but didn’t respond as she watched the guy now doing the robot. Not wanting to lose this opportunity alone with Kimmie, Dustin continued, “Now that you know I secretly love to dance, you’ll understand I’ve been thinking a lot about my senior prom. It’s still a few months away, but I was wondering if you’d think about going with me … as friends even, or whatever…” Honestly, he was smitten with Kimmie and he’d like nothing more than to start dating her seriously, but what he really wanted was for her to go to prom with him. If she agreed to go as friends now, that was fine by him. He’d spend the next few months getting closer to her with the plan that by prom she’d be in love with him, too.
She turned around to face him, her cheeks slightly flushed from dancing. “Dustin, I like you, really I do. But there’s something you need to know. I’m … I’m in love with someone else. And I swear I’d go to prom with you as a friend, and you’re so sweet to ask me, but I just can’t. I don’t think the guy I like would be into me going to prom with another guy, you know?”
Dustin was shocked by her honesty, which in a way only made him love her more despite what she was telling him. What else could he do but nod and try to play it cool? Despite being devastated, he managed to say, “Totally get it. All good, just thought, you know, I had to ask.” Thankfully they were moving again, and continued onward through the hip-hop-hooraying crowd, no longer holding hands.
By the time Kimmie made it to the bar she turned around to find Dustin no longer behind her. His absence made her sad for a moment, but she knew she’d done the right thing just telling him straight what was going on with her and Vronsky. Kimmie climbed up onto an open bar stool so she could survey the crowd, which was when she finally spotted Anna talking to Steven and Lolly on the far side of the club. From what she could tell Anna was dressed in a sexy short black number, which slayed so hard Kimmie wondered why she had ever thought Anna should wear lavender.
Kimmie flagged down a bartender because she now needed a Red Bull before she could deal with making her way across the dance floor again.
XXII
Anna felt better after she took a healthy swig from her brother’s flask. The vodka burned going down, but she needed to get over her frustration and relax a little so she could enjoy the night. She could count the number of fights she and Alexander had had in their three years as a couple on one hand. That was before tonight. She certainly wasn’t looking to throw down with him, but she really found the whole convo to be infuriating. It had turned from a calm discussion to a fight when he demanded to know why she was being so selfish. “You hate the city. Why are you insisting on this?”
“I don’t hate the city, number one. And secondly, it’s a stupid tea party. Why don’t you sit and drink tea with Eleanor and her god-fearing, grating friends for three hours on Sunday and see if you like it?” She was as stunned as he was by her outburst and fought the urge to apologize immediately. She was sorry for yelling but she wasn’t sorry for what she’d said. It was something she had been feeling for a while but had never had the guts to say: Eleanor was perfectly nice but could be unbearably whiny and entitled if she didn’t get her way.
Alexander didn’t yell back, because it wasn’t his way. He just said they would discuss it further when she came home from the party.
“Alexander, the party won’t even get going until after midnight,” she said, perhaps unwisely. “I’m staying out late; don’t wait up for me. I’ll call you in the morning.”
He started to respond, but she cut him off saying
she had to go and hanging up the phone. The whole thing made her feel a bit queasy, and invigorated. She was annoyed she missed the limo ride, but found her solitary Uber to be exactly what she needed, a little time to herself.
When she arrived at the party, Anna ran into a few people she knew from the summer she spent six weeks at Juilliard, one of whom was the cellist in a string quartet she used to play with. Anna had played violin since she was five years old and was, after almost ten years of lessons and daily practice, an accomplished musician. She had garnered lots of attention from her teachers who praised her proficiency but fretted over her lack of emotion when it came to her performances. These comments always irritated her because she was never quite sure what exactly was meant when she was instructed to “feel the music.” She enjoyed playing when she was younger because she liked the praise, and it made her father happy, but as she got older it was hard for her to figure out if she liked it because she was good at it, or if she liked it because she actually liked it.
This all came to a head the summer after her sophomore year when she was asked to participate in a small European tour with her quartet. Everyone assumed she would be thrilled to go, but she wasn’t. It was actually Alexander who pushed her to talk to her father about her feelings and even though she insisted “feelings” were never discussed in Korean or WASP households, she did finally get her nerve up. Her father’s response was as pragmatic as always, which was that she needed to double down on her practicing so she could make an informed decision. At the beginning of the summer, Anna spent six weeks of intense private study with a world-famous teacher from Kiev, and by the end she played with more emotion. Unfortunately that emotion was a deep empathy for all the other Korean girls who would still be forced to play violin when her father granted her permission to stop. The party line being that Anna would miss her horses and dogs too much to tour.
On the red carpet, the cellist told her she had performed in Sweden over Christmas and Anna was relieved that she didn’t feel even a single pang of envy. They went through the step-and-repeat as a group, but Anna was pleased when the photogs singled her out and asked her to step forward, shouting out to her for her name. Once they figured out who her mother was, there was a bit of a stir, and even though Anna knew such attention was stupid, she also found it exciting.
While she waited to get checked in to the party, and every other girl was busy taking selfies, Anna looked around to see if she saw anyone else she knew. There, about ten people ahead of her, she spotted him. He was with a large group of guys and Beatrice, the most popular girl at her school. Beatrice and Anna had been closer friends in middle school, but once Anna started riding every day, she didn’t have much time to socialize anymore, especially with Bea, who was a full-time party girl. Beatrice was always sweet to her and made a point to invite her to every party she had, but Anna had only gone to a few of them over the past couple years.
Anna couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy as she watched Vronsky put his arm around Beatrice, pretending to get her in a headlock, a brotherly sort of move that she had been victim to a hundred times with Steven. Suddenly she remembered, Beatrice had two male cousins, one of whom she was especially close to. That cousin was Alexia. Of course, now it made sense! Beatrice’s father was Geneviève R.’s older brother. She watched with a bit of longing as Vronsky’s group entered the club. They looked like they were having so much fun already.
It didn’t take long for Anna to find her brother. She knew how Steven partied so she parked herself by the bathrooms and found him shortly thereafter. Anna had experimented with a few drugs here and there, but Alexander was very anti-drugs (except his precious Adderall) and it seemed too much of a bother to try to hide such things from him. Besides, she liked to keep a clear head, and found people who ended up sloppy drunk at the end of the night to be a little sad.
After her swig of booze, Anna decided she wanted more. “Brother, darling,” Anna said with the lock-jawed voice she used when imitating her mother’s way of speaking, “Can you be a dear and find me a real drink? Something delicious and worthy of my family name?” Steven, always happy to get everyone else drunk, loved seeing this playful side of his sister that she rarely showed in public. He gave her an exaggerated butler bow, accepting the challenge and saying he’d back posthaste. Anna stood with Lolly, and together they pointed out all the outfits they liked and hated. Kimmie arrived minutes later looking incredible and Anna gave her a warm hug hello. The two of them twirled for each other and kept shouting, “You look amazing.” “No, you!” “You!” “You!” for a while until Steven returned holding three glasses. Anna took one and drank half of it immediately. She made a face, and yelled, “Uch, what is this?”
“Sugar-free Red Bull and vodka!” Steven yelled over the music. He handed the second drink to Lolly and gave up his own for Kimmie, telling her chivalry was not dead. Anna finished her drink, even though she found it revolting, and Beatrice, dressed in all Saint Laurent, appeared by her side moments later. The two girls hugged and went through the same you-look-amazing-no-you-do ritual she’d went through with Kimmie only minutes ago.
When Beatrice asked Anna to come dance with her and her friends, Anna declined. “I’m not much of a dancer. I’m more of a stand-around-er.” But as soon as she said it, she spotted Vronsky heading their way. Desperate not to be present when he asked Kimmie to dance, Anna grabbed Beatrice’s hand. “What the hell! This is a dance party, so let’s dance.” She pulled Bea away right when Vronsky arrived, barely even acknowledging him as she breezed by.
Kimmie noted Anna’s slightly odd behavior but quickly dismissed it. Vronsky was now leaning over her to kiss her on both cheeks and whispering to her how amazing she looked. He then greeted Steven and Lolly, who decided it was time to hit the dance floor themselves. There was an awkward pause, and Kimmie held her breath because it seemed as if Vronsky wasn’t planning to ask her dance. Her entire night flashed before her eyes at the thought, but then he smiled and said, “Come on, you and me?” Kimmie nodded happily and took his hand.
Over by the exit, Dustin watched the whole scene playing out. After hearing Kimmie express her love for another ten minutes ago, he felt ill and broke away from her, heading to the men’s room where he splashed water on his face. He told himself he was feeling poorly because of the drugs, but he knew it wasn’t that. When Dustin stared at himself in the mirror, he looked deep into his own eyes. He knew he had to put on a brave face, go back out and join the party, but he didn’t think he could do it. He would never have come to a party like this if it hadn’t been for Kimmie. Now that his dream of her was over, what was the point of him staying?
He was on his way over to say his good-byes when he noticed Vronsky heading toward their group. Like a glutton for punishment, Dustin stopped to watch. It wasn’t as though he didn’t feel like Kimmie was worthy of Vronsky. But a guy like Vronsky was likely to draw the attention of every girl in the world, so why did it have to be her? From his current vantage point, Dustin could clearly see Vronsky’s face as he made his way over to where Kimmie and the rest of them were standing. Dustin recognized the expression in his rival’s eyes, the same look he had seen in his own eyes for the last six weeks. Vronsky was a man in love, which meant it was game over for Dustin. His defeat was confirmed less than a minute later as he watched Kimmie taking Vronsky’s hand, her face lit up with rapture.
In that moment, Dustin hardened his heart and decided it was time to go.
XXIII
Kimmie was now bouncing with Count Vronsky to the beat of Naughty by Nature’s “O.P.P.” She would have preferred a different song, once Vronsky explained what the Ps were in O.P.P, maybe one that wasn’t about people wanting other people’s Ps at all. But she made the best of the situation and tried to stay focused on the positives. She liked that he hadn’t dressed in theme and instead wore black slim pants and a Gucci shirt and jacket she could tell was very expensive. His only hint at following the ’90s theme was a thick
gold clock on a gold chain around his neck.
This was the second time they had danced together, the first being a week ago when they were out getting dessert for their third date and he needed to stop by Le Bain to see one of his friends. They had only stayed at the club for half an hour, but when they were leaving the VIP area after meeting his friend, they had stopped to dance for a few songs. Kimmie suspected he was falling for her because his hands were all over her while they danced.
The two of them were out in the mob of the dance floor next to Lolly and Steven, but Kimmie had slowly edged to the right, wanting to be alone with Vronsky. She kept waiting for him to pull her in close like he did before, but for some reason he wouldn’t. He seemed distant and she wasn’t sure what the deal was. “Are you okay?” she finally asked, hating always having to yell over the din at nightclubs. He shook his head and apologized, saying he had been out all night two nights ago with his cousin Bea. And then pulled a repeat performance last night with his brother Kiril, who was home from college. He had only woken up a few hours ago to find he had slept through the entire day.
Kimmie forced a smile and nodded, but she couldn’t help but ponder what exactly he and his brother had spent all night doing and who they were doing it with. Also, she couldn’t imagine ever sleeping through an entire day. When the song ended, she hoped the next one would be better, and it was: Foxy Brown featuring Blackstreet, “Get Me Home.”
“I love this song!” Kimmie lied, trying to sound cool. Vronsky nodded, took her by the hand, and walked her back over to Steven and Lolly, who had stopped dancing and were just making out.
“Thanks for the dance, Kimmie. Find me before you go,” he said, and with that, Vronsky turned and pushed his way back through the crowd. Kimmie was gobsmacked. The whole thing happened so fast, she didn’t have time to hide her feelings. Hot tears welled in her eyes, which she angrily wiped away with the back of her hand. She looked over at her sister, who had missed the whole thing, and Kimmie felt slight relief that at least there were no witnesses to her humiliation. One stupid dance where he barely even looked at her? That’s what she had been waiting for all week? WTF?!
