by Jenny Lee
Dustin smiled, but it was bittersweet. The note his brother left him was a movie reference from Good Will Hunting. It was Nicholas who had shown him that movie three years ago on the first night of Chanukah at their grandparents’ house in Boston. It had been the last Chanukah Nicholas and Dustin had spent together, and it had been a great time. Nicholas had never been very vocal when it came to their relationship, but that night he did say that Dustin was the Matt Damon character and that he was the Ben Affleck character. He didn’t elaborate, but Dustin knew that Nicholas was saying he admired Dustin for his smarts and knew he’d go out into the world and do amazing things. Wanting to play it cool, Dustin didn’t say anything back except, “Yeah.” But because of this moment Dustin loved the film and had seen it probably fifty times by now. Whenever he pulled all-nighters for school he’d put the movie on in his room for comfort while he studied.
Dustin stared at the note and everything became clear. Last week, during the reunion dinner with their mom, Nicholas received a call in the middle that he said he needed to take. Dustin was annoyed at the time, mostly because his mother was worried, and when Nicholas hadn’t returned after five minutes she sent Dustin to go find him. His brother was outside smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. When he finished, Nicholas told Dustin it was Natalia, the girl he had met at rehab. She had just left the facility and gotten her phone back. At the time, Dustin was happy for his brother, because he could tell by Nicholas’s face how thrilled he was to have heard from her. At least one of us still has a chance at love, he thought.
When Nicholas returned to the table, he apologized to their mother, but when she asked him about the call, he lied and said it was a work thing. Dustin said nothing, of course, but he assumed his brother didn’t tell their mom the truth because he knew she was a stickler about following the rules of sobriety, and one of the big ones advised not to get into a romantic relationship in your first year on the wagon, especially with another addict.
The dinner ended well even though it was tense at times, and Dustin walked Nicholas to the subway station afterward, which is when his brother told him Natalia was in Arizona. She was going to some wellness center affiliated with their program. It was for an outpatient program designed to help her get back on her feet. She had asked him to come and visit, but Nicholas told her it wasn’t doable until he saved enough money to get there. Taco Taco! didn’t offer paid vacation. Dustin told Nicholas he would be happy to accompany him out West, once he graduated in a few months. He even offered to pay for the plane tickets and the hotel with his tutoring money. His brother answered saying he’d rather drive cross country, like how Matt Damon did in Good Will Hunting.
Dustin was touched by his brother’s shared reverence for the film, which they had never really spoken about before. But now, he was less pleased, since his brother had obviously decided to rob him and leave him behind.
XXIV
At the same kitchen table where Nicholas had sat three days prior, Dustin filled in the blanks for Marcy and his dad: the rehab girl, the stolen money, the Good Will Hunting reference. His father listened to the tale without interruption, just letting his son talk until he was finished, something his mother never did. Jason was relieved that they had a lead as to where Nicholas was going; stealing a car and money to drive across the country to see about a girl was far better than stealing a car and money to buy drugs and get high. Having been an ER nurse, Marcy said she was positive Nicholas wasn’t high when he came over.
Marcy apologized over and over for forgetting to tell them about Nicholas’s visit, but his father comforted her by explaining it wouldn’t have made any difference. He was positive that when Nicholas left the apartment, he had walked straight to the garage and embarked on his cross-country road trip right then and there.
The next decision was whether to tell Dustin’s mom what was going on. Dustin voted no, reminding his dad they had agreed to be the ones to step up and deal with Nicholas’s care for a while. Sure, the reunion dinner had gone well between mother and son, but it would be a shame to demolish the rebuilding of their relationship over this latest development.
“I’m sorry, Dustin, but I don’t agree,” Marcy said. “I know it may not be my place to get involved, but as a woman who’s going to be a mother, I would want to know.”
It took Dustin a moment to understand that Marcy was pregnant. Dustin had had no idea his father had planned to have children with her, but it made sense. Marcy was only in her late thirties, so why wouldn’t she want to have a family of her own? Dustin offered his hearty congratulations to them both, although the joyful news was overshadowed by the current Nicholas fiasco.
Dustin’s father cast the deciding vote, saying he understood both his son’s and his new wife’s reasoning. Dustin’s mother had a right to know, but he thought it best to wait until they had more information. “Call him,” Jason said. “See if he picks up. If he tells you the truth, we’ll go from there.” Dustin would have preferred to make the call alone but could tell his father wasn’t going anywhere. Nicholas didn’t answer anyway, so Dustin left a simple voice mail and asked that his brother call him back. He tried to keep his voice neutral so his brother wouldn’t think he was angry about the three grand. Honestly, Dustin didn’t care about the money at all, but he was freaked out that his brother took the car. Nicholas had done some really crazy things while under the influence of drugs, but as far as Dustin knew Nicholas was sober when he did this, which made Dustin wonder if love was the most powerful drug of all.
Since the Kimmie debacle, Dustin had made a point to shut down his interest in romantic pursuits. It seemed like so much drama and pain, and he wasn’t quite sure what the point was, though if things had turned out differently between him and Kimmie, he would probably be dancing in the streets and shouting the exact opposite from any and all rooftops.
Dustin thought about his brother driving twenty-seven-hundred miles in a stolen car for a meth addict named Natalia and wondered whether his journey would end in disappointment and disillusionment like his own quest for Kimmie had. He eventually concluded that every man needed to find out the truth about love for himself. Dustin loved his brother and wanted to believe in the fantasy that perhaps this girl was what his brother had been looking for his whole life, and that she might fill the void that he’d once filled with drugs.
Dustin stared down at his phone and saw the newest selfie Lolly had posted. She and Steven were dressed up for the party as Cher and John Wick. They looked so beautiful and happy together. More than that, they looked like their lives were better than everyone else’s.
Dustin had read that there had been a growing trend of anxiety and depression in teenagers who had grown up with smartphones. Everyone was addicted to gawking at the endless photo stream of beautiful people living fabulous lives. It seemed the only reason for doing anything these days was just to post pictures of all the fun you were having, just like Lolly and Steven were doing.
But Dustin knew the dark underbelly to the picture. He knew Steven was torn up over his mother’s recent infidelity, and possibly had a drug problem himself. And if recent events were any indicator, he was following in his father’s footsteps of betraying the woman he was supposedly committed to. And though Lolly had taken down the post of her wearing Steven’s mother’s fur coat the night she found out about “Brad,” Dustin had taken a screenshot of the picture. He didn’t do this with any creepy intentions. In fact, he wasn’t sure why he had done it at all. Perhaps it was a reminder to himself of the many startling faces of humanity. She had looked like a demon from a Japanese horror movie, eyes rimmed in black, makeup smeared, her expression frozen in pain.
It reminded him of The Scream, the popular Edvard Munch painting that so many books and movies referenced. When he was younger he always wondered why that particular painting had captured the popular imagination. Now, having witnessed his mother’s suffering over his brother, his own suffering over Kimmie, Steven’s suffering over his
mother, and Lolly’s suffering over Steven, Dustin understood why people liked the painting. It was comforting to know there were others who had suffered like you had.
He scrolled through his photos and found the screenshot of Lolly, mesmerized by the stark contrast between the Lolly he knew, the Lolly dressed as Cher, and the fur-clad Lolly in the photograph. It was almost unimaginable that they were the same girl.
XXV
At Bea’s, a large tent straddled the lawn from the back patio made of stones imported from Scotland, to the Japanese Zen garden designed by the world’s best Japanese Zen garden architect (oddly, an Argentinian man named Manolo). This was not your standard white tent used for outdoor weddings or high school reunions. Bea had rented a grand red-and-white-striped circus tent that could easily accommodate an elephant dancing on its hind legs. When Anna had first walked into it, she half expected to see a circus in full swing.
The tent was divided into separate areas. A black-and-white-checkered dance floor took up the center right, with a raised DJ booth in the corner and a full-service bar in the other. On the opposite end of the tent there was another bar and a seating area with high-top tables and red leather spinning bar stools. Several large couches formed a square around a huge full-size Persian rug that had colorful tuffets and Moroccan pillows flung about. Three large hookahs and a bowl of California’s finest Kush that LiviX2 had bought for the occasion sat on a low table next to the sofas. Basically, this party had an option for everyone.
By midnight, attendance had swelled to a hundred guests. Due to the size of the tent and the whole property in general, it didn’t feel crowded, and the party maintained an intimate, relaxed vibe. Various groups of colorfully costumed people scattered through all the areas, but the beating heart of the party was Beatrice, who was now decked out in a white bikini and red angel wings, a scantily clad Cupid holding court on the Turkish gabbeh rug in the couch area. Beatrice wasn’t a hostess who liked to circulate, mainly because she was either barefoot or in five-inch heels. She much preferred to sit and have the party come to her. Sitting with her now were Adaka, dressed as Serena Williams (though it was doubtful the tennis legend ever wore a hot-pink thong under her tennis skirts); Livingston, whose costume consisted of an eclectic mix of random accessories: a top hat, a leather tool belt, a vintage Sex Pistols T-shirt, and a tutu (she was her own version of Wonder Woman, as in “I wonder who she’s supposed to be?”); Rooster, sorely lacking in the imagination department, who wore his football jersey; and a couple dressed as a fire emoji and a poop emoji signifying that they were “hot shit.”
John Wick and Cher were on the dance floor with two dozen others showing off their fancy footwork to Twenty One Pilots’ “Tear in My Heart.” Lolly, already drunk from whatever was in Beatrice’s punch bowl and high from a no-nonsense whack off the hookah, spotted him first. Her first thought was, Wow, that guy over there is dressed like my dad, which made her start to giggle, and the woman he was with was wearing a long sleeve Alessandra Rich polka-dot dress, making her the only female at the party trying to cover up her goods rather than flaunt them.This reminded her that she wanted to sneak back into the house and go peek in all the other bedrooms before they were filled with drunken couples making out.
“Steven, doesn’t that guy look like my dad?” Lolly said, still giggling. “Sorry, sorry, I mean, John Wick, doesn’t that guy look like my dad?” She turned Steven around so he could see the man she rudely pointed at.
Steven stopped dancing, his face serious. “Fuck!” he said in a low voice. “That’s Alexander and Eleanor.”
Lolly danced in a circle with her hands in the air, not processing what Steven had just said. He put his arms on her shoulders and leaned in close, so she assumed he was about to kiss her and tilted her chin up in anticipation. “Babe,” he whispered. “You need to focus. We need to find Anna before they do. I’ll go talk to them and you go find Anna. Can you do that for me?”
Just then Mariah Carey’s dance mix version of “Dreamlover” bumped through the speakers and Lolly bopped off to join a triad of gays with DandyZ at the center who were screaming their approval at the song choice.
Steven swore, angry with himself for wasting precious time. Lolly was in no condition to handle her assignment, but then Steven spotted Murf, dressed as Kanye West, sandwiched between Daler and Rowney, the only two girls at the party tall enough for him. (Daler and Rowney were in all green, a pair of Versace and D&G green beans.) Steven danced over to Murf and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him away from the dancing models.
“Dude,” Steven said. “I need an assist.” He pointed at Alexander and Eleanor, who were now standing by the bar.
“Fuck a duck, that’s no bueno,” Murf mumbled, and pulled out his phone. “I’ll text the Vronsk, but I dunno if his kilt’s got pockets.”
The boys quickly decided Steven would run interference, while Murf went in search of Anna and Vronsky. Before they could separate, a barefoot Beatrice was by their side. “I spy with my little eye … trouble with a capital T.”
“We’re on it,” Steven replied. Murf nodded and started making his way through the dance floor.
“Mr. Wick, shall we?” Bea asked, placing her hand on Steven’s arm. The two of them left the dance floor and walked together right into the lion’s mouth, approaching Alexander and Eleanor, who were both holding glasses of sparkling water.
“Dude, what’s up?” Steven said to Alexander, keeping his voice casual. “Didn’t know you were in town this weekend. Hi, Eleanor.”
“Hello, Beatrice.” Alexander ignored Steven to say hello to Beatrice, which was what proper etiquette demanded in mixed company. The lady must be greeted first. “You know my sister, Eleanor, right?”
“Of course,” Beatrice replied snippily. She hated people who stated the obvious like it could pass as conversation. Beatrice leaned in to give Eleanor an air kiss, but Eleanor took a step back.
“Ooh, sorry,” Eleanor said, not sounding sorry at all. “I’m not good with touching a stranger’s bare skin. Aren’t you cold? Why are you so shiny? Is that glitter?”
“Body glitter,” Beatrice said. “The kind strippers use.”
“Where’s Anna?” Alexander asked, as uncomfortable with Beatrice’s outfit as his half-sister was, though he was better at hiding it. “She’s here, right?”
“Of course,” Beatrice said. “She’s probably flitting around somewhere. It is a party, after all.” She didn’t bother keeping the edge out of her voice, which was probably due to the three fat lines of blow she had done already.
The foursome was so busy rubbing one another the wrong way, they didn’t notice when Anna and Vronsky entered the tent with Ben and Addison, whose access to Disney’s costume department had them dressed as Chip and Dale. They hit the dance floor immediately, oblivious to the fact that many of the other partygoers had already heard about the situation playing out twenty feet away. There were many people at the party who hadn’t met Anna before, but everyone there knew the Greenwich OG on sight.
Anna and Vronsky were grinding to Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts.” They only had eyes for each other, which everyone had noticed all evening, but these were Beatrice’s and Vronsky’s friends, so no one really cared. Nearly everyone in this bunch had cheated on their bfs and gfs before, or at least seriously thought about it. Anna had lost the white trench coat an hour ago and her black silky slip was sticking to her in the most appealing way. One of the tiny straps had fallen down her shoulder, and Vronsky couldn’t help himself, punch drunk as he was. He leaned forward, took the strap between his teeth, and pulled it up and back over her shoulder. His warm breath on her bare skin made Anna shiver, even though she wasn’t cold inside the heated tent.
“Hey, Anna!” Lolly hollered. She was standing by the speaker, but from her acting classes she knew how to make her voice carry to the back of the house. Half the party craned their necks to Anna and Vronsky. Enthralled by her dance partner, she reacted to Lolly’s call a few seconds l
ater than she should. Lolly pointed and continued, “Alexander is here. I thought he was my dad at first. They wear the same khakis!”
Anna and Vronsky stopped dancing. Anna crossed her hands over her chest and stared across the dance floor. Alexander, Eleanor, Steven, and Beatrice stared back. Lolly noted Steven’s face, and she knew he wasn’t happy with her. Oopsie, she thought to herself as she watched Anna leave the dance floor, alone. Lolly looked around and noticed many of the guests were watching, too. It was only when Alexander clasped Anna’s arm and ushered her out of the tent that Lolly had a flash of clarity. She would have hung her head in shame, but a DJ remix of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” distracted her. “Ooooh!” she cried, moving her feet to the beat again. “I looooooove this song!” She threw her head back and started singing along, “I came in like a wrecking ball…” oblivious to how appropriate the lyrics were to the current drama afoot. I never meant to start a war …
XXVI
Anna wore Alexander’s Burton ski jacket over her tiny dress, unsure where she had left her white trench coat. Her legs were cold, but she walked across the dark lawn toward the pool, Alexander following close behind.
