Panic gripped me like a perverted family member you just wanted to put distance between. “Did anyone say anything?”
She shook her head. “We all stuck to her being dead.”
“Good. Maybe she’ll come back.”
“If she’s smart, she’ll stay as far from here as she can. There’s no way to beat them, even with her.” She looked down at the floor, her shoulders slumping. “We tried so hard, and it was for nothing.”
“Maybe not. Let’s look at some of these injuries before we have to run or … fight.” None of them would be much help in a fight. She knew that and I did too, but neither of us said it out loud. After everyone was doctored as much a possible, we sat anxiously waiting for our release. It had been well over an hour, I was sure of it.
“You don’t think he doubled crossed us, do you?” Sammie asked.
Masey jumped in before I could. “There’s no way Lyric would do that to us. There just isn’t.” Before I could answer, the door opened, only Lyric wasn’t alone.
Fuzz stood beside him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Reese
I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes the visions started. Horrible visions. I had no idea who the people were, but I watched them die every night when I tried to sleep. It made it worse that I watched myself kill them. I slashed their throats and ripped them apart like they were nothing. A guttural roar escaped my hoarse throat as I sat up drenched in sweat. I shivered, still unable to shake what I had seen. I rubbed my neck. It hurt. I must have been sleeping in an awkward position. Deep breaths from in the dark made me tense. Two glowing yellow eyes watched me from across the room. I stole a glance at the table beside me. My knife sat there, waiting for me to use it. Kolisus, one of Harley’s twin wolves, stepped into the moonlight beaming in from the mouth of the room and I relaxed. He came over and nuzzled his head into my chest.
“What’s wrong with you?” I laughed at his affection. “Are you wanting me to get up?” He pushed a little harder against my chest. I shook my head and threw back the covers. I slipped on my sneakers and followed him out into the night. It was peaceful here. No buildings, stores, tons of people, just nature. I had to take two steps at a time to keep up with him going down. We walked through the woods a little ways until I could see the warm orange glow of a fire. I pushed back a limb as Kolisus burst through the bushes near me. He passed the fire and went over to a hammock swaying gently between two trees.
“What are you up to, Kolisus?” came Harley’s voice. My palms sweated as my hands shook. I was nervous to be around him. I didn’t know why. Ever since the night he sang to me, everything was different. I looked at him in a new way. One that terrified me. I wasn’t just infatuated with him anymore. No, I wanted to take things with us to the next level. My feelings were only becoming stronger with each moment we spent together, which was a lot. Every second I wasn’t with Lavarus training, I was with him. I took a deep breath and walked through the bushes.
“You should learn to keep your werewolves out of people’s bedrooms,” I said. He jerked his head around, practically falling from his sleeping arrangements.
“I think that was my bedroom before it was yours so he as a right to be there because he used to sleep there too. He was probably just hoping to see a pretty girl undress or somethin’. Wasn’t you, Kolisus?” He grabbed it by the head and shook it around, making it give a deep throaty growl as it played back.
“I don’t know about that, but he no doubt wanted me to get out of that bed.” Harley looked back and forth between me and the wolf. “He doesn’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiled at me, his deep dimples setting in.
“Whatever, I’m going back to bed then,” I said, trying to act upset. I heard his footsteps running behind me.
“Wait. He said maybe he was being a little creepy, but he just wanted you to come out to see the pretty night. You weren’t sleeping good so he was worried about you.” I raised an eyebrow at him and then at the wolf.
“You really can talk to them, can’t you? I thought you were just shitting me.”
“Told ya.” I looked up. The stars were practically burning the sky. The moon was enormous, but it was hard to see behind all the overhanging trees.
“Too bad we’re stuck behind all these trees. I bet it would be a really pretty night if we could see it all.”
“Who says we can’t?” There were those dimples again. “There’s a spot on top of the mountains up there that we’d be able to see everything.” He motioned up toward the right.
“It’d take us forever to hike up there. The sun would be coming up before we got there,” I replied.
“I didn’t say anything about hiking, but if you wanna do that all night then go head.”
“How are you planning on getting up there then?” I asked, putting my hand on my hip and patting my foot. He let out a startling whistle and Gamick, Kolisus’s twin, tore through the trees. He kneeled in front of Harley.
“Kolisus, heel,” he commanded. Kolisus came up beside me and kneeled. “Your ride awaits, my lady.”
“You want me to ride him?” I asked. I took a step back. Harley grabbed my elbow and pulled me over to him. I looked up at his gorgeous face and drowned in his hazel eyes.
“Trust me, the twins are a lot easier to ride then Vixler. That big beast will throw you everywhere.” He paused, eyeing me for a second. “You’re not scared, are you?” I shook my head. It was all I could do. Looking at him had put me into a minor shock. “Good. I’ll help you up.” He picked me up by my waist and threw me over his shoulder. Next thing I knew my legs were buried in thick, soft werewolf hair. Kolisus tore off before I could settle good, but luckily I managed to cling to his thick neck. I glanced back and saw we were alone, Harley nowhere in sight. Panic momentarily gripped me. How was I going to make him stop? Should I jam a foot into him?
Before I put my plan into action a large black object sored over my head and Harley on top of Gamick hit the ground in front of us. Gamick’s muscular legs dug deep into the dirt, spraying it back on us. I ducked low behind Kolisus’s head, as he sneezed several times. After he recovered, his speed increased, determined to catch the two of them. The wind beat across my face as I picked my head up. The trees were a blur as we moved through them. We burst through the edge of the wood line into a meadow. The lush green plant life looked like a plush carpet. I stretched out, spreading my arms out, letting the wind tickle at my fingertips. I closed my eyes and smiled.
“Better hold on,” Harley shouted. I glanced over and found him riding beside me. He pointed in front of us at a drop off. My body began to heat up, and my heart hammered. I wasn’t prepared to jump off the side of another cliff. I grabbed his neck once again and pinched my eyes closed. A moment later his back legs pushed hard, and the two of us were floating. We hit something and I almost lost my grip. I opened my eyes and found us hanging on the edge of the nearest mountain wall. Kolisus’s claws sank into the stone as he pulled us up. Every muscle in his body tensed. I knotted my hands deep in his hair as I hung onto him. My life was in his hands. Slowly, inch-by inch, we crawled up. Once at the top, he dropped to his belly, panting hard. I did the same, rolling off him, and looking up at the sky. My nerves fought to regain control. The black sky seemed to be so close I could reach out and touch it. The stars burned brightly, occasionally emitting twinkles, like a diamond catching the light. I heard Gamick’s grunts and the broken pieces of rock beating against the mountain wall as he made their final push over the top.
“There’s a much more comfortable spot over between those rocks,” Harley said as he approached me. I didn’t know if my shaking legs would get me over there, but I couldn’t tell him that. I rolled over, not realizing how incredibly uncomfortable the bumpy ground was until that moment. He was already several feet ahead of me, while I stretched out the soreness. The wind blew gently, making his shoulder length hair sway. I caught his scent and took a deep drag as if inhaling a cigarette. He smell
ed so good. “You coming?” he asked, turning to me, and interrupting my weird fascination.
I followed him, dodging a few sharp rocks. We squeezed in between two rocks and emerged at a U-shaped ledge. It was covered in rich, green plant life. I walked out onto it, letting the breeze run through my fingers. The moon cast a light out making the waves, which seemed to be miles away, dance.
“It’s beautiful here.” I turned around to catch a small smile on his face.
“It’s beautiful all right.” He ran a hand over his mouth and looked down at the ground. I got the feeling his agreement had nothing to do with our scenery. He walked out and plopped down beside me. I sat closer than necessary and started picking at a plant to my right.
“Do you come here a lot?” I asked. I needed to keep things simple. Simple was good.
He shook his head. “Not really. The wolves actually found it. I saw it through their eyes when they reattached. It’s the first time I’ve been up here myself.” He laid back and placed his hands behind his head, making his shirt rise. I couldn’t help but steal a look at his V cuts. I shifted around, laying back so our heads were side by side, but our bodies were going in opposite directions. “Are you happy, Reese?” I was caught off guard by his question. I hadn’t really thought about it until then.
“As of this moment I am. Why would you ask me that?” I turned to look at him. He stared up at the sky. His jaw locked as he swallowed hard.
“I was just wondering. It’s hard to tell with you sometimes.” I sighed deeply and looked out toward the end of the ledge. How could I begin to tell him what I go through?
“It’s just that … I feel like a monster sometimes.” Flashes from the visions I had earlier materialized. Something warm tickled the side of my face. I rubbed it, realizing a tear had escaped. I needed to let those feelings out, just to have a good ugly cry. I covered my face and began sobbing loudly into my hands.
“Reese … I’m sorry for asking that,” he said, sounding a bit panicked. He gently pulled at my wrist so he could see my face. He was leaning over me, the worry apparent. I knew I looked horrible right now and having him this close was the last thing I wanted, but I didn’t want to push him away. Hesitantly, he ran a trembling thumb over my check, wiping the tears away. “Don’t ever think you’re a monster,” he looked down before continuing, “you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” His words made my pulse increase. I wasn’t this beautiful thing he thought I was, and he needed to know that.
I quickly sat up, startling him. “You don’t need to think that about me. The darkness has me. There’s no coming back from that. Pretty soon it’ll take over, and I won’t be able to stop it anymore. I’ve known it this entire time. I feel it in me, clawing at my insides. It wants out. I’ve killed people.” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face.
“Everyone here has killed people. So that would mean we’re all monsters.”
“No, all of you have killed people in battle. I just killed people for the fun of it, because I knew I could. I wanted to see them bleed. I craved it. It made me feel alive.” He bit at his lip.
“Maybe you just need somethin’ else to make you feel alive. Somethin’ you know you need more than that feeling you’ve been having. Seriously, in our experience, when someone accepts the darkness, they turn immediately. The fact you’re still here, but fighting it on the inside, means there’s hope to get rid of it. You just have to keep fighting. Please, don’t give up.”
I crawled in front of him so we were facing each other. “Will you stay with me?” He tilted his head as his brows scrunched together.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t do this alone. It’s hard. I need someone to help me. Gah, I never thought I’d admit that I couldn’t do somethin’ alone. This is the first time I felt like it was okay to admit that. I’m terrified.” He pulled me closer to him, ran his finger down my jawbone, and picked my face up once his fingers stopped at my chin.
“You didn’t need to ask me that. I was already planning on being there with you.” I threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. The thudding of his heart pounded against my chest as his raspy breaths titillated my ear and sent a tingle down my spine. His hand rubbed the small of my back while his other trailed up to my neck. His hand knotted in my hair and tenderly pulled my head back. “You have no idea how bad I wanna kiss you right now.”
“I wouldn’t stop you,” I said, breathlessly. He licked his lips and pulled them back; making those dimples I loved so much. Instead of pulling me to him, he pushed me away and stood up.
“I can’t do that. Come on, we probably need to get going. It looks like it’s about to rain.” He started walking toward the two rocks we came in through, leaving me still sitting on my knees. What just happened? My head spun, trying to figure it out. I stood and took a few steps in his direction.
“Wait! What just happened? Why don’t you want me? Is it because of what I just told you?” I didn’t mean to spout off so many questions at once, but I was completely lost. He came back over, stopping a few feet from me.
“You have no idea how bad I want you. It kills me. I just can’t.” He couldn’t just leave it at that. I needed to know why.
“There has to be a reason, Harley. You can’t just tell me that and expect me to be okay with it. Please, just tell me.” He put his hands on top of his head and looked up and the sky. The rain drops started to fall. The tiny, cool beads felt refreshing on my burning skin. “Just tell me!”
“You have another life outside of here, Reese. Even if you don’t remember it, I do, or at least some of it. You have someone else that could be waiting on you to get back. You have someone else you love. I don’t know what happened with y’all before you came here, but I can’t be the one you want while you can’t remember him. I want you to want me when you remember everything. I’ve had dreams about the day I’d meet you. I’ve loved you since the moment you got here. You’re it for me. I just need you to be sure I’m what you want.” I couldn’t breathe. I never really wanted to remember where I was before I came here. I never had a reason to. Now maybe I did.
“I had someone else?” My voiced cracked. I wasn’t even sure he heard me over the rain pouring on us now.
“Yes. His name was Oliver Steele. I fought side-by-side with the two of you one night. The way you looked at him, the way you smiled at him … I just … I can’t be with you here and then you pick him over me. It would break my heart.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I was so confused. A bolt of lightning streaked through the sky. “Let’s go. We don’t need to be here with it raining like this.”
I didn’t respond. I followed him back to where the wolves were anxiously pacing back and forth. We climbed back on and descended down the mountain. The way back down was much more terrifying since we were facing down, not to mention the wolves were having a harder time due to the rain. I let out a relieved sigh when we finally jumped back onto the ground. Kolisus’s claws tore into the soil as we sped across the soggy earth.
Another bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree, sending sparks showering around us. There in those brilliant balls of light I saw him. I knew it was him by the way my heart felt. My grip loosened on Kolisus just as he jerked. I flew off him and landed in a muddy puddle of water. The pain of hitting the ground didn’t matter. I wanted to get to him. I stood and shakily walked to him. His blond hair was drenched and stuck to his face.
“Oliver?” I knew the answer before he nodded. “Are you really here?” My heart ached. I couldn’t remember anything about us, but my heart apparently did.
“No, Reese. I’m a part of your memories. The darkness has fought to block things that happened to you. They’re what make you unique and strong. Don’t give up on those, no matter how hard or painful they may be. You need them to help you fight it. Remember. It’s time.”
“Are you okay?” Harley asked from behind me. I looked back, his body dripping wet. Whe
n I turned back, the boy was gone.
“Yeah, I’m fine. But I think it’s time I get Lavarus to really help me.” He came up beside me and locked his fingers in mine.
“You know this scares the shit outta me.”
“I know, but I need to. I have to remember him to know what happened with us. It’s the only way we might ever be anything.” He pulled me into him, and for this minute, I let my heart yearn for the man holding me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Harley
I hated seeing what the memory regaining process with Lavarus was doing to Reese. She was trying so hard, and getting more and more discouraged every day. She wanted it so badly; I could tell the night we were in the rain. I don’t know what she saw, but it lit her on fire. That night made my heart ache. I was so close to kissing her, but I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. The last thing I wanted was to take advantage of her when she was vulnerable, although, she would never admit to being that. In my opinion she was. She couldn’t remember where she came from, family, or friends. I had more respect for her than that. She didn’t need to do something she might regret later once she did remember. I couldn’t let her feel that, no matter how much I wanted her.
I lazily walked over to the hammock and stretched out in it. The breeze felt great, since I was sweating so badly from my morning exercise. I closed my eyes and pictured her face. The way she smiled at me when we were swimming. Her laugh, seeing her happy, that was all I wanted. I never thought I would actually know what love was until I found her.
“Wake up,” Freeman said as he pushed my foot.
“I’m not asleep.”
Torment Page 20
