“Heath was right,” I said. “He didn’t want to come. He said it wouldn’t be good for him. That he had no fight left.” I looked down when tears stung at my eyes. “He wants to die.”
“I’m sorry,” Devon whispered.
“Me too,” I said. “He was like a stranger, Devon. He said he doesn’t even know if he loves me.”
“He’s grieving,” Kiaya said from my other side. “He’ll come around.”
“It’s too late.” I shrugged like his rejection wasn’t slicing my insides into pieces. “He’s with Heath’s group now, and they don’t know where we are. Even if he changes his mind, he can’t find me.”
“I wouldn’t put money on it still being Heath’s group,” Kiaya told me. “After what he did today, I doubt many people will be willing to listen to him.”
“Let’s hope that’s the case,” Devon said, letting out an exhausted sounding sigh. “Because I doubt we’ll be seeing the last of him if he stays in charge.”
“Yeah,” I murmured.
I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes, and a moment later his lips brushed the top of my head.
“You smell good,” he whispered.
“They have electricity at the hospital,” I said, not opening my eyes, “and running water. It’s too bad we can’t join them, because it really was the perfect setup.”
“We all know Heath would never let that happen.”
“Yeah,” I said again.
Silence hung over us as we drove, the mood melancholy after everything that had happened. My mind was spinning with all the things I wanted to tell Devon. About my conversations with my dad and Ryan, about what Miller had told me, about the people I’d met and the safety measures they’d taken at the hospital. More than anything, though, I just wanted to be alone with him. To have his arms around me and his lips on mine, so I didn’t have to think about the fact that my father had rejected me. He hadn’t even asked me to stay at the hospital with him.
I lifted my head when the school came into view, my heart leaping in excitement despite the pain at losing Lane.
Doug stopped behind the other truck, and we waited in silence for Max to drag the gate open. It took too long and looked tedious, and after being at the hospital and seeing the barricade they’d created, appeared doubly shabby. It was definitely something we were going to have to work on. One of the many things.
Finally, it was open and the first truck drove through. We followed, and the second Doug pulled into a parking spot and put the truck in park, a sense of overwhelming relief swept over me. I was home.
I let out a sigh.
“You okay?” Devon asked.
“Relieved.”
“Me too.” His gaze searched mine for just a second before he planted a gentle kiss on my lips. “I don’t want to let you out of my sight ever again.”
“Ever?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows. “What if I need to change my clothes or take a sponge bath?”
“Especially not then,” he said, his usual teasing grin lighting up his blue eyes and making my insides flutter.
I laughed and swatted him on the arm. “Get out of the truck.”
The mood sobered once we climbed out.
Gabe was standing at the back of the truck, the tailgate down but Lane’s body still in the bed, and the others stood around him. Waiting.
“We’ll dig a hole first,” he said, not looking away from Lane. “Then get her.”
“Where?” Brian asked.
Gabe lifted his head so he could study the area, his gaze focusing on the stretch of yard in front of the older part of the building. “At the front of the school looks best. Tree roots won’t interfere that way.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Rick said, patting him on the shoulder.
Gabe nodded twice, then once again focused on Lane’s body. He sighed. “Let’s get the shovels.”
My hand was in Devon’s as we followed the others toward the school, my mind on him—us—despite everything else going on. On us finding time to be alone. On him helping me forget the horrible events of the day.
Grace was waiting just inside the door, her expression tense and worried when she focused on Kiaya. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She glanced toward me. “Both of you.”
“Not all of us, though,” Kiaya said “Lane didn’t make it.”
Grace dipped her head like she might be saying a silent prayer, looking up after only a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t particularly like her, but this wasn’t the outcome I was hoping for.”
“None of us were,” Kiaya agreed.
The other woman let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry to have to deflect the attention from Lane, but we have a situation.”
My body went rigid, and I wasn’t alone. Tension seemed to settle over us at Grace’s announcement. Now what? Couldn’t we go one day without disaster striking?
Gabe was the first to speak. “What kind of situation?”
Grace focused on Kiaya. “It’s your sister.”
“What happened? Is she sick?”
“Not sick. She—” Grace looked down again.
“What is it?” Kiaya demanded.
The other woman lifted her gaze, meeting Kiaya’s. “That boy who came with you. Hank. He tried to attack her.”
17
Kiaya
It was like her words had sucked all the air from the room. I stumbled, reaching out, and braced myself on the person at my side. I didn’t even know who it was. Couldn’t focus enough to even venture a guess.
“What?” I gasped for air, the word coming out with it.
“She’s okay,” Grace rushed to say. “Your other friend, the older man, stopped it.”
“Buck?” Devon asked.
“Yes.” Grace’s head bobbed fast enough to make my mind spin. “That’s him.”
Still, I couldn’t breathe. I hated feeling like I wasn’t in control, and I’d never felt this out of control in my life. I couldn’t form words, couldn’t suck in air, couldn’t make my brain work. Had I heard her right? Had this really happened?
“Where is he?” Devon asked.
At least I thought it was Devon. He sounded so different. Far away, but hard, too. Even more so than when he’d spoken to Heath.
“In the nurse’s station,” Grace replied. “Buck is guarding the kid.”
Devon pushed his way through the crowd and charged down the hall. “He’s dead.”
I watched him go, unable to move, my hand still on the person at my side.
“Kiaya?” Rowan whispered my name.
I looked her way and was shocked to discover it was her arm I was holding.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I should have done something,” I managed to get out.
“She’s going to be okay,” Lisa said from my other side. “Buck stopped Hank before anything happened.”
“Buck?” I shook my head, confused and uncertain and not even sure who they were talking about. All I could think about was my sister. All I could do was picture her little face, streaked in tears, the day the social workers had come to get us. I’d failed her back then, and now I’d done it again.
Lisa and Rowan exchanged a worried glance.
“What do you want to do?” Lisa asked, her tone soft like she was talking to a wounded animal. “Do you want to go find Zara, or do you want to follow Devon?”
Follow Devon? Oh, right, he’d said he was going to kill Hank. Never before had I thought I was a violent person, but I couldn’t help hoping Devon succeeded. If anyone deserved to die, it was the monster who’d tried to attack my sweet, innocent, meek little sister who’d already had such a hard life. He didn’t just deserve to die, either. He deserved to be ripped to pieces.
Thankfully, I thought Devon just might be strong enough to do it.
And I wanted to watch.
“Devon,” I found myself saying. “I want to follow Devon.”
“Okay,” Lisa said. “Rowan, will you go with her? I’m go
ing to find Zara and make sure she’s okay.”
“Yeah,” Rowan replied.
Again, the two women exchanged a look, but I couldn’t read it. Which was so unlike me. I was usually so in tune with what was going on around me, but not now. Now it felt like my normally overactive brain had been turned off.
Lisa went left while Rowan and I went right. She clung to me as we walked, acting like she thought I might fall over. I didn’t think I would, but I also wasn’t sure because I didn’t feel like I was in control of my body right now. The very opposite, in fact. It was like my body was moving on its own.
The nurse’s station wasn’t far, and before we’d even made it around the corner, we were greeted by the sound of shouting. Then we did turn the corner, and Grace came into view. She was outside the open door, pacing and wringing her hands. Occasionally, she would pause and glance into the room, then shake her head and keep walking. She looked jumpy. Scared.
“What’s going on?” Rowan asked.
Grace stopped walking and turned to face us. “I think he’s really going to kill the kid.”
“Good,” I replied.
The other woman’s mouth dropped open.
“I want an answer!” Devon yelled.
“I—I don’t—” came Hank’s trembling reply.
The sound of his voice pulled me from my stupor. My body jerked, I yanked my arm from Rowan’s grasp and moved, charging into the room. There I paused to take in the scene. Devon had Hank’s back pressed against the wall, their faces inches apart, and behind them stood Matt and Buck. The two the men looked like they would happily help Devon kill the teen, who for once didn’t look unemotional. He was trembling, terrified, his brown eyes wide as they stared up at Devon. The right one was swollen and bruised. Buck had hit him. Good.
“What happened?” I asked.
All eyes turned to me.
I focused on the older man. “Tell me what happened.”
He blew out a long breath. “It happened after y’all left. Everybody was in the cafeteria but Hank and your sister. Lexi was worried ’cause Zara was supposed to help her with something, I don’t know what. Anyways, I went lookin’ for her, and that’s when I found them—” He stopped talking abruptly, clearly not intending to say more.
“Tell me,” I ordered.
Buck looked down. “They were in the bathroom. I passed it at first and went into our room.” He pressed his lips together, and I got the distinct impression he was leaving something out. He didn’t have to say it, though. He’d gone to get a drink. Which meant his dependance on alcohol might have been the only thing that saved my sister. “I was headed back downstairs when I heard somethin’ and decided to check the bathroom.” He lifted his gaze then, focusing on Hank, and the utter fury in Buck’s eyes shocked me almost as much as the situation. “He had her on the floor, pinned down. She was cryin’, and he was—” The older man’s words cut off suddenly once again, and he focused on me. “Nothin’ happened. I got there before that.”
“But it would have,” Devon said, and Hank’s wide eyes snapped to him. “Right? You were going to rape her, weren’t you?”
“N-no,” the kid said. “I wa-wasn’t. I sw-swear.”
“You piece of shit,” Matt muttered.
I stepped closer to where Devon had Hank pressed against the wall, my focus on the teen. “I knew there was something wrong with you. I knew it.”
“I just like her!” he protested. “That’s all. I thought she liked me.”
“If a girl is crying, that means she doesn’t like it,” Devon said.
His fists tightened on the kid’s arms, his jaw clenching, and for a moment I really thought he was going to murder Hank.
As if realizing he was on the verge of losing control, Devon released the teenager and stepped back, and Hank dropped to the floor. He didn’t move.
“What do we do with him?” Buck asked.
“He can’t stay here.” Devon was still staring down at Hank. “He’s dangerous.”
“I thought you were going to kill him,” I said.
All eyes were on me again, and an extended silence followed.
Devon was the first to break it. “Is that what you want?”
I looked at Hank, considering the options. There weren’t many, though. Not with the way things were. But could I really sentence a teenager to die?
“I don’t know,” I finally said.
“Maybe we should decide as a group?” Rowan suggested.
“My sister is the one who was attacked,” I snapped, my tone sharper than I’d intended. “And it isn’t like there are cops anymore. This is it. Us.”
Rowan looked everyone over, her lips pressed together in thought. “I know,” she began, her tone hesitant. “It’s just that this will set a precedent for how we handle things in the future. I get what you’re saying. I do. But you, yourself said we couldn’t just go around killing people. We need to think this through.”
I opened my mouth to argue but stopped. She was right. I’d lectured her about reacting based on her emotions, and wouldn’t me making this decision be the same thing? That wasn’t me. I was logical. Always. I took the time to think things through, weigh the pros and cons, to be certain I was making the best decision. I couldn’t change things now, especially not when someone’s life was on the line. Even if it was a creepy teenage rapist.
“Rowan’s right,” I said then exhaled, blowing out my fury as I looked around. “We need to discuss it as a group and come to a decision everyone is comfortable with. If we don’t, we’re no better than Heath.”
“Okay.” Devon took a step away from Hank like he needed the distance to maintain control. “We can ask everyone to gather in the cafeteria. That way everyone can weigh in.”
“Yeah,” I said, blowing out another long breath. It was useless, though. My anger wouldn’t be wiped away so easily.
I looked down, not wanting to focus on Hank. I couldn’t look his way, because I was terrified I would change my mind and ask Devon to drag him outside right now and shoot him. That was wrong. I couldn’t do that. No matter how much I wanted to.
I needed to leave.
“I’m going to check on my sister.”
“Do you want me to come?” Rowan asked.
My gaze was still focused on the floor. “I need a minute to collect myself.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
I left without saying anything else.
The walk seemed to take forever, and I focused on the old linoleum beneath my feet the whole time, running my gaze along the various cracks as I worked to keep my emotions down. I wanted to scream, wanted to hit something, wanted to punch Hank.
When I finally reached our room, I stopped at the entrance but didn’t step inside. Part of me was desperate to see my sister and make sure she was okay, but the other part wanted to put it off. I’d never felt guilt like this. Not even when the social workers ripped us away from each other. I’d suspected something was seriously wrong with Hank, and I’d done nothing about it. What if Buck hadn’t shown up when he did? What if Hank had violated my sister?
I couldn’t even think about it.
Emotion welled up inside me, threatening to bubble over the way it hadn’t in years, but I swallowed it down and stepped into the room. The sound of quiet whispers greeted me only two steps inside, and I almost stopped again, but I forced myself to keep moving until I reached the cubicle Zara and I shared. My sister was lying on her cot, Lisa sitting at her side and holding her hand, and the sight of her tear streaked face had my own tears threatening to break out of me. Thankfully, I was an expert jailkeeper, and I managed to push them down and lock them away.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my voice quiet and soothing.
They both looked up. Zara’s brown eyes weren’t just brimming with tears, they were brimming with fear and hurt as well, and it nearly ripped me in two.
Lisa got to her feet when I stepped into the cubicle, slipping out as I lowered myself onto th
e cot at my sister’s feet. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
Zara blinked, and a single tear escaped, rolling down her cheek, and it was all it took for the chains keeping my emotions prisoner to shatter. My own eyes filled with tears that refused to be blinked away. They fell, dropping onto my sister’s legs and leaving dark circles behind.
“I’m so sorry, Zara,” I said. “I’m so sorry. I should have done something sooner. I should have made sure you were safe.”
She sat up, releasing Lisa’s hand in the process. “It’s not your fault, Kiaya. You didn’t know he’d do that. No one did.”
“Oh, my God,” I cried. “All I can think about is what would have happened if Buck hadn’t stopped him. Oh, God.”
I was sobbing now, my shoulders shaking, and then Zara’s arms were around me and she was crying, too. Holding on to her, hugging her as she hugged me, I closed my eyes and let my emotions free, let them wrap around us. Let them teach me a very painful lesson. Rowan needed to learn to be less impulsive, but I needed to learn to listen to my gut better. Being logical all the time didn’t work any more than being emotional all the time did. There had to be balance.
It didn’t take long for me to rein in my emotions, and once Zara and I had managed to gather ourselves, I pulled away, wiping the tears from my cheeks. I wanted to look at her.
“You’re okay, though? You promise?”
“He didn’t get very far.” Zara looked down. “He had my shirt up and he was touching me, but that’s all. Then Buck pulled him off me and punched him.” A small smile tugged at my sister’s lips. “You should have seen how mad he was, Kiaya. I’ve never seen him act like that.”
“You were lucky he was there.”
“I was.” Zara lifted her gaze to mine. “I’m okay.”
I rested my hand against her cheek. “I’m so glad.”
Zara sighed and sat back, leaning against the cubicle wall. “What are they going to do with him?”
“We’re going to have a meeting to discuss it. Do you have an opinion?”
She shook her head, and in this light, with the vulnerable expression on her face, she looked so young. “No. I just don’t want him here.”
Far Series | Book 3 | Far From Lost Page 28
