* * *
Early in the evening on my birthday, I stepped up behind Mom Tina and dipped my index finger into the tomato sauce as she pieced together the lasagna. She slapped my hand. “That’s not ready yet. Leave it alone until everything’s cooked.”
“Well, I knew that I couldn’t grab any of the icing from that beautiful cake you made, so I thought I could at least taste this. It’s yummy.”
Mom Tina laughed. “Okay, one more finger in it, and then leave me alone here in the kitchen. You can go bug Missy while I clean things up with the lasagna in the oven. Don’t tell her that I let you stick your finger in her dinner.”
Mom Missy was busy in the dining room putting the good dishes out for dinner. I sighed and smiled. I had friends who complained that their families stopped celebrating their birthdays when they became adults. I loved that birthdays were still a big deal to my two moms, theirs and mine.
By the time we finished the lasagna dinner, I was nervous about the bar celebration later in the night. My two moms misunderstood the agitation for excitement over my birthday. I was happy to let it stay that way. I didn’t want to ruin their fun while they threw me a small, informal party at home.
Mom Tina baked and decorated a small round birthday cake for me. She said, “None of us need a week’s worth of sweet stuff, so I hope you don’t mind. This is just a small cake. Since the real estate was sparse on top, I decided to light one candle for your special day.”
The cake was adorable. It wasn’t hard to figure out my wish. Avoiding turning the wish into a desperate plea was more difficult. I wanted a happily-ever-after life with Tate, and if my birthday candle could help out, I was all for it.
Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I mustered all of the energy in the room to make my wish come true. I opened my eyes and managed to blow out the candle with one big puff of air. My moms applauded and sang a raucous round of the “Happy Birthday” song to me.
As Mom Tina passed around generous slices of cake, Mom Missy pushed back from the table and said, “We’ve got one more thing for you before you head out for the evening.”
She returned to the dining room with a small box wrapped as a birthday present. The paper was always homemade, and the ribbons were crafted paper, too. It was always difficult to tear into the gifts because the wrapping itself was a work of art.
Mom Tina watched closely. “Oh, tear right into it, dear. I’ve got tons of paper like that. This is a present. You’re supposed to open it with gusto.”
With the paper gone, I held a plain cardboard box in my hands. Both of my moms leaned forward with tremendous anticipation. Before many of my birthdays, I had a good idea what kind of gift I would receive because they quizzed me about things that I wanted in advance. They were both mum for my latest special day.
As I opened the lid of the box and pulled away the tissue paper, I saw that it was one of Mom Tina’s glass sculptures. It surprised me because usually, she worked on life-size pieces. The item inside the box wasn’t much larger than a paperweight.
When I pulled it out and looked closely, I gasped. It was a carefully sculpted transparent rendering of two men kissing. As I gazed at it, I realized it wasn’t random men. Mom Tina created a three-dimensional rendering of Tate and me sharing a passionate moment.
21
Tate
I was wary when I first received Hamish’s invitation to a surprise party on the Upper East Side to celebrate Simon’s birthday. I’d hoped to spend it alone together, but I was late making plans, and Hamish jumped first. I decided to take the invitation at face value. He was helping Simon out in business, and a party was a great way to network and renew a lot of connections all at once.
My first choice of a birthday gift for Simon was impractical. I wanted to give him a ring. I dreamed about falling to one knee and asking him to marry me, but I knew we weren’t there yet. It would have to wait.
Finally, I settled on a nice wristwatch. Simon wore one with a frayed leather wristband. It was time for an upgrade. I had the back of the watch engraved. It read “For my cowboy, Love always, Zorro.” The engraver had a bemused expression on his face as he handed me the finished product. I simply smiled.
As I hopped on the subway, I started to have second thoughts about my gift. Maybe I should have made it even more personal. Perhaps I should have remembered to add a date. Maybe I should have bought the ring instead. I held my hands to my ears to try and quiet the noise in my head.
I exited the subway with two more blocks to walk to Sparks. I carried the wrapped gift in a small paper bag. Reaching down to rub a sweaty palm on my thigh, I thought about the other people who would likely attend the party in addition to Simon and Hamish.
Ted confirmed that he would attend with a, “I definitely don’t have anything better to do,” comment. He was down. He told me that Dodge was getting married out in South Dakota. I didn’t want to think about what would happen to my heart if Simon married someone else.
I found a trash receptacle on the corner just before Sparks and stuffed the bag inside. Carrying the small, festively-wrapped box in my right hand, I reached the door of Sparks at almost precisely the same time as Ally approached from the opposite direction. Her eyes opened wide. “Hey, Tate! It’s so great to see you! Isn’t this the best? A guy like Simon deserves a great party like this.”
We hugged each other and exchanged quick kisses on the cheek. I said, “He’s the best.” It was true, and I wanted to add, “And he’s mine,” but I worried that I would jinx something if I said it out loud.
I held the door for Ally, and as we stepped inside, I heard old 70s disco songs drifting through the air. They were some of Simon’s favorites. He had a collection of CDs with the songs that he kept in an ancient shoebox.
Streamers and balloons filled the bar. As I glanced around, it looked like Simon wasn’t there yet. It made sense. If Hamish planned properly, he told the rest of the guests to arrive early so that we could shout, “Surprise!” as Simon entered. I knew that Simon would play along despite the fact it was no longer a surprise.
Ted found me and handed over a bottle of my favorite beer. I hugged him, and he held on tighter than usual. With my best sympathetic expression, I asked, “Is it still rough?”
He shook his head. “Fuck, yeah. He didn’t even tell me directly. Jim, from Sagebrush, found out and called. He knew I’d be down.”
“Man, it sucks. That’s about the best I can think of to say. If you’re feeling up to it, you should do some circulating here. This should be a good crowd, and maybe there’ll be a guy here for you. You never know.”
Ted lowered his head. “I don’t think I’d even notice.” I reached out to rub his strong shoulder. He looked up again and said, “But hey, please don’t let me rain on your night with Simon. I just needed to know a good friend was thinking good thoughts, and you made that obvious. Enjoy tonight. You and Simon are a story that’s gonna have a happy ending. I can feel it.”
As I turned to mingle further with the crowd, I spotted Hamish. He was standing in a back corner of the bar chatting with someone I didn’t know. A few short minutes later, he stepped into the middle of the crowd and climbed on a chair.
Hamish announced, “Simon should be here any minute. So let’s quiet down, clear the main floor, and, as soon as he enters, you all know what to do.” The music stopped, and an eerie quiet descended on Sparks.
I found Ally again, and we hid behind the bar. She whispered, “You know, Tate, if you weren’t…you, then we could do all sorts of dirty things back here, and nobody would notice.”
I laughed. I was gay, and Ally was a lesbian. I considered it flattering that she would even think of me that way. I whispered back, “I guess we could, but I think Simon would have a thing or two to say about that.”
“So would Peggy, so let’s just keep this between us.” She winked at me and kissed me on the cheek.
A few seconds later, I heard the door open. Rising just high enough to peek over th
e bar, I saw that it was Simon. I gripped Ally’s hand, and we popped up in perfect timing with the rest of the crowd shouting, “Surprise!”
I watched as Simon exchanged a hug with Hamish. Others in the crowd shouted, “Speech!”
Simon waved them off with a simple, understated, “All I can say is thank you. I love you all.”
Hamish announced, “We’ll break out the champagne later. For now, let’s get back to the party!” The music started up again, and I watched as Simon turned in a full circle scanning the crowd. He finally spotted Ally and me as we emerged from behind the bar.
Simon stepped up close and threw his arms around me. I held my hand with the gift behind my back while we kissed. I’d waited for more than a year and a half for another public kiss in front of all of our friends. I was in heaven. I both wanted the moment to last and wanted it to pass quickly. With it ending, I knew that I could look forward to many more moments like it in the years to come.
At the moment that I planned to pull the gift from behind my back and offer it to Simon, Hamish reappeared. He said, “Simon, there’s someone over in the corner who’s interested in your business. I hate to interrupt, but he will have to leave soon.” Hamish glanced at me. “I’m sure that Tate will understand.”
Ed, one of our friends from Ally’s parties, stepped up to my elbow. He said, “That one’s an odd duck indeed.”
Confusion played across my face. “Simon?”
“Oh, no, not at all. The one named Hamish. I’d never heard of him before when I received my invitation. I love both you and Simon, so I couldn’t miss the party, but that one—I don’t know.”
Simon came back to me a few short minutes later, but Hamish intervened again. He had a young person who wanted advice on interior design schools in New York. Hamish said that Simon was the perfect man to share his knowledge.
Fortunately, the next person to intervene was one of my friends. Ted tapped Hamish on the shoulder and was close enough to hear Ted’s low, rumbling tone when he spoke. “So, Hamish, I’m looking for tips on business investments in rising firms. I’ve already heard Simon’s pitch…” The voice faded away as Ted led him to the rear of the bar.
Simon approached me again, and he was laughing. “Sheesh, I hope you’re not upset. This is ridiculous. Hamish is like that alpha dog with a bone in his mouth that he won’t let go.”
I chuckled. “How could I be upset on your birthday? I do have a question, though.”
Simon reached out and rubbed my bicep. “What would that be? Maybe I’ll say yes.”
I wanted to let out a feral growl in response. There was so much I’d love to ask if Simon was in the mood to say yes. Instead, I merely asked, “Do you think we could step outside for just a sec? I’ve got something for you.”
“I think we can do that. Your cowboy buddy has Hamish occupied.”
As we stepped out into the night, I realized that my little box was going to look like I was offering a ring, and I bit my lip. The second thoughts started to race through my head once again.
Give him the gift. It’s a great one, Tate. Kick the second thoughts to the curb. With the voices in my head working overtime to bolster me, I pulled the present from behind my back.
I said, “I wanted to give you your birthday present, but I didn’t want to do it in a roomful of people.”
Simon’s expression was hard to read in the dim light outside, but the fact that I handed him the box without falling to one knee probably ruled out the ring option. He slowly pulled the wrapping paper off. “You know you didn’t need to get me anything. Having you back in my life is the best birthday present possible.”
I smiled. He said the words with sincere humility. I only added, “You’re special to me.”
Opening the box, Simon smiled broadly. “It probably is time to retire my old one. If I’m going to move up in the ranks of Manhattan businessmen, I need to look the part.”
“Turn it over.”
Simon pulled the watch out of the box and looked at the back. “It’s too dark to see what it says.”
I pulled the cellphone out of my pocket and turned on the flashlight feature. Simon read the words while I shined the beam on the watch back.
“Aww, you’re gonna make me cry. I guess it wouldn’t be the first time, but this will be tears of joy.”
We hugged, and Simon sobbed on my shoulder. It was enough to get my shirt slightly damp. I said, “You might need to pull yourself back together for the rest of the party. If you don’t, they’ll think I did something horrible to you.”
Simon laughed. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know that now.”
I hugged him even tighter, and we kissed. It was all starting to feel real again. I let go, and we both stepped back into the bar as Simon wiped at his eyes with his sleeves.
Hamish didn’t wait long for his next move. Simon said, “I’ve got to say hi to a few more friends. We can talk later, Hamish.”
I was pleased to see his forthright statement, but Hamish surprised me. He said, “Oh, I wanted to talk to Tate about something anyway.”
I saw a slight glance of confusion on Simon’s face, and I shrugged. Then I waved him away and turned my attention to Hamish.
Hamish gestured toward the rear of the bar that he seemed to like so well. As we pulled away from the crowd, I asked, “What’s this about.”
“Well, I only wanted to congratulate you on getting back together with Simon, but I must admit that it’s a surprise to me.”
I tilted my head to the right. “And why would it be such a big surprise? We were a good couple the first time around, and now we’ll be a great one.”
“That might be,” said Hamish. He nodded his head, and then he placed both hands behind his back and looked up at me. “It definitely might be, but it is a big surprise since Simon kissed me just a few days ago.”
I glared at Hamish. I didn’t know what to say. The only possible motivation for saying such a thing was an attempt to drive a wedge between Simon and me. I thought I saw a sparkle in my eye as he looked at me.
Finally, I recovered my voice. I said, “There’s no way that’s true. Simon and I are back together.”
Hamish shook his head. “I’m really sorry to share this news with you, but I thought you should know. I have eyewitnesses that will back me up if you need that.”
I growled. “I don’t have anything else to say to you.”
Turning on my heels, I tried to disappear into the crowd until I could calm down. I considered leaving immediately, but I knew that I would have to explain that to Simon later. There was no way that he would kiss Hamish, not after we were back together dating and planning our future together. Still, I couldn’t stop a tiny little nagging at the back of my neck that suggested Hamish could be telling the truth.
22
Simon
The birthday gathering was a fantastic occasion until I noticed Tate hanging out by himself in a corner. He fixed his gaze on me, but he wasn’t seeking me out to be at my side, and he wasn’t socializing with others. It was unusual behavior for Tate. If he wanted to be with me, he would always approach and own the space near me. With the bulk of his body, he knew that his presence was impossible to ignore.
After one more sip of beer, I decided to try and find out what was going on. I started to zigzag my way through the crowd. He looked effortlessly sexy leaning against the wall, but he didn’t look happy.
I was only about fifteen feet away when Hamish cut off my path. He said, “The party’s great. Don’t you think so?”
“Yep, thank you, Hamish, but I’m a little worried about Tate. He shouldn’t be standing there in the corner by himself. He should be celebrating with the rest of us.”
I thought I detected a slight grin on Hamish’s face. He asked, “Did you know about Tate and his dancing buddy, Ted? He’s that guy we saw with Tate when we were checking out the hot dog man you like. Ted’s one of those dancing cowboys.”
“Yeah, I k
now that Ted’s a good friend. They met after Tate and I broke up. Ted’s a confidant sort of like Penny is for me. We all need friends who know how to talk. I think Ted’s a good guy.”
“He’s also Tate’s other boyfriend.”
I opened my eyes wider. Tate didn’t say anything about dating Ted, and I immediately considered the source of the news. I didn’t know how reliable Hamish’s contacts were. I said, “Tate’s dating me.”
Hamish shrugged. “I just thought I should share what I know.”
I leaned in close. “And what do you know?”
“I know they’ve been seen dating. The word’s out there. Can I get you another beer? Sparks has the best selection.”
I felt angry bile rising in the back of my throat. I wasn’t only mad at the news but also Hamish’s matter-of-fact way of presenting it. If he were a genuine friend, he would worry about my wellbeing. He didn’t act concerned at all.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t need another beer.”
I wanted to shout, “How dare you?” at Hamish, but I knew how important he was to the success of my fledgling business. Instead of confronting him, I excused myself and looked around the room to try and find Penny. I’d hugged her briefly early in the evening, and I hoped she was still around. I needed someone to stop me from letting the anger motivate me to do something I’d regret.
Penny was talking to another friend when I found her, but she instantly noticed the look of distress on my face. While she excused herself from the conversation, I glanced over at Tate. He was still leaning against the wall in the corner, and he was still watching me. As soon as she was free, I pulled Penny to the opposite side of the room.
“Simon! What’s up? This is your party. You should be happy and bouncing off the walls. You looked like you were doing that earlier, but not anymore. What’s wrong?”
I grumbled, “It’s Hamish, and Tate, too. Did you see Tate over there in the corner? He looks like he’s brooding, and I don’t know what’s going on. He should be happy at my birthday party, too.”
Cowboy: The Mathesons - Book 2 Page 15
