“And they were about me.”
“Yes.”
“Do I want to know?”
She came to him then and took him in her arms. Her whisper tickled his ear. “That’s up to you.”
For a long, long moment he just held her, absorbed her, smelled her, enjoyed the brush of her hair against his. How he loved her. She completed him. With this woman in his life, nothing was insurmountable. “Yes.”
She tugged him to the kitchen table. Those crazy colorful eyes bore into his. “You were adopted, Ake.”
He nodded. “I know.”
But a shake of her head denied his simple answer. “Not like in a…regular way. The Pearsons had you from birth. But they didn’t always have you.”
Ake’s eyebrows drew together. “I don’t understand.”
Stormi gripped his forearms and leaned forward. “You were a foster baby. And when you turned three, the court awarded custody back to your birth mother.”
He lowered his head, searching for any memory of this. Futile. He had very few memories before age ten.
“If I was given back, how did I grow up here?”
“You were returned to the Pearsons when you were almost five. Only you were—”
Silence ruled the bright kitchen. He read the answer in her eyes. “Dumb.”
A twitch skittered across his wife’s face. “No. Not dumb. Different.”
“Special.”
Tears sparkled in Stormi’s eyes. And that startled him. Nothing seemed to shake her.
“You’d been abused, Ake. And you couldn’t remember who the Pearsons were. You had few memories of any kind.”
He nodded.
“That cut on your head, the one where you had all those stitches? That’s part of it. It’s not your fault, Ake. It’s not.”
He pushed a hand up through his hair and found the knotted stripe of flesh. Something like a brand burned in his head. Old memories? Repressed pain? He jerked his head to rid his mind of such thoughts and rose. “At least the air’s cleared.”
“Ake.” She tugged at his sleeve. “Listen. Hoge didn’t take your leaving well. Your mother recorded how broken he was when you were returned to your birth mom. And then, you came back—a stranger.”
He pulled from her and went to pace the living room. She stood in the doorway and stared at him. He looked everywhere but her. Suddenly he froze. “Did it have to do with cocaine? Is that what Hoge was talking about?”
Sadness throbbed from her. “No, Ake. That was your name. Your mother was a habitual drug abuser, and she christened you Coe Cain Ellings.”
Ake’s heartbeat seemed like a huge kettle drum echoing off the pale blue walls. “Why would she do that?”
His wife licked her lips and gave a reply that shuddered from her. “She was probably high and didn’t care.”
With a deep inhale of oxygen through his nose, he went back to pacing for a few moments. Then he stopped and connected his gaze to hers. “Then it’s good I can’t remember.”
Stormi clasped her hands beneath her chin. “Oh, Ake. You sweet, sweet man.”
She lunged at him and sobbed against his chest. Still a little dazed, he wrapped her into his arms. He held her there, trying to collect his thoughts. “Maybe that’s why Hoge’s always mad at me.”
She pulled away. “I don’t think Hoge is angry at you, Ake. I think he’s still hurting from long ago. Have you ever talked it over?”
“Nope. Like he said, I can’t remember anyway.”
She laid her hand on his cheek. He grabbed it and kissed it, attempting a smile.
“I may be dumb, but I’m married to the most beautiful woman in the world.”
The tremulous smile that spread across her face eased the ache in his heart. He glanced down the hall. “Well, whether Hoge is mad or not, Pop needs more help than we can give. I’ve got to make him see that, Stormi.”
“You have to make him see a lot of things, Ake Ellings Pearson.”
A quirk lit his left cheek. “Actually, I can’t. But God can.”
***
So wrapped in Ake’s simple acceptance of his past had her in a tizzy of admiration. Until a week later. Stormi stared at the white stick in her hand. Why hadn’t she remembered this tiny detail? The wedding and honeymoon had been a chaotic whirlwind. Other than Hoge and the adoption secret, life with Ake had been peaceful. He’d enveloped her so deeply in his love and gentleness, something she’d never experienced before, that she hadn’t stopped to think of this complication. Pregnant. She took a deep breath. Of all people, she should have tuned in to this possibility.
She pressed her hand to her stomach, the ripples of nausea still cramping her abdomen despite the bland crackers for breakfast. Ugh. How could she have overlooked this? She peered at herself in the mirror. Did she look like a mom? Not hardly. Would she be her mom? A strangled cry shimmied out her throat. Heaven spare this child from that.
With a twirl, she spun from the mirror and slapped the bathroom light off. She stalked to her bedroom and yanked the top drawer open at her dresser. With a growl she jammed the tattletale stick into the folds of her colorful panties. Now what? She tapped her foot and wrapped her arms tightly across her chest.
She and Ake were just getting used to one another. Joni and Hoge had actually started acting civil. Well, Joni anyway. They hadn’t wanted her as Ake’s wife, what would they say when she became the mother of Ake’s children? And at ten months out. Well, it was bad timing. Completely bad timing.
Her phone buzzed on the dresser, and she grabbed it. Maybe Ake had come in from fishing early. But it was Alan, checking up on her. No doubt he thought she’d have dumped Ake already. She gritted her teeth. That wasn’t fair. Alan had been a real friend. Yet his advice lately had been a little off-center.
Sup?
A little miffed, Stormi let her thumbs fly. Fine. BTW. Still married.
Good. Marriage is 4 keeps.
She flopped on the bed. Yeah, keeps. Like in keeping out of her business. She took the high road. Need something?
Nope. Just thinking of you.
The words on the screen strafed at her. He’d freak out if he knew she was pregnant. Oh, why not? She’d pull a chain or two and see what moved. I’m pregnant.
The phone stayed quiet a long while. There, take that, smarty pants. His perfect Christian advice slows down when— The phone lit up.
Moving pretty fast.
She shuddered. He had no idea. She let a long breath expel, releasing her anger. It wasn’t Alan’s fault she was up a creek, so why did she cop such an attitude about it? It was her life, not his. Besides, why had she told him in the first place?
Her eyes dropped closed. Because she needed his counsel. As much as she churned along, dripping in confidence, apprehension dogged her every step. This new child grew within her. And this principled turn in life had more setbacks than she cared to dwell on. She pushed her pride aside and answered him. I know. Wasn’t planned.
?
She grunted at his short answer. Yes, yes, she knew where babies came from, humdrum in monotone. But the past month had been a cyclone of events. She wiped a hand down her face. Guess I didn’t think.
You’ll be a good mom.
Her breath snagged in her throat. Where had that come from? Did he not know her at all? The man had been her classmate and a target of some of her best nastiness in high school. How could he say that? Fine. Two could play at that. She shot him what he deserved. ?
Just know you will. You’ve seen it done wrong. You’ll work twice as hard to do right. Congrats.
She tossed the phone on the bed. Okay. Now his real message will come through. Like, JK, you should have been thinking. Or, Way to go, loser. Can’t keep from getting knocked up out of the gate? Well, all right. The last reply was more like what she would send herself, but still. The phone lay quiet. She tapped her fingers on her knee and spoke aloud to the blank screen. “Come on, Alan. Let out that righteous indignation.”
S
till—nothing. She picked up the device and stared at it. With a shrug she sent a quick reply. Thanks.
Maybe he was serious.
She flung her legs to the floor and hurried across the room to deposit the offending means of communication on her dresser once more. Let it alone. The queasiness in her belly made her stop short, but she shook it off. She pushed the conversation away as well as the information the little stick had revealed. Ake didn’t need to know tonight. He had enough on his mind.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ake eyed her over the top of Mexican Chicken Casserole. She put her head down and stared at the food and forced herself to take another bite. It was like the man sensed something. Perhaps he’d had that heart-to-heart with Hoge, and the whole adoption mess was sorted out. Hoge had confessed his love for Ake, and they’d hugged it out in manly fashion. Yeesh. Like some 1950’s sitcom. Not hardly.
He probably knew she was pregnant by just looking at her. Ake did seem chock full of wisdom. It was beyond her comprehension.
“Fishing go okay today?” She resorted to distraction.
“Yep.”
“You talk to Hoge yet?”
“Nope.”
She licked her lips as he continued to stare. Her molars tightened around the secret she held and she lifted her gaze. “Something wrong?”
“Nuh-uh.”
Hmmm. Now if she used those answers, the truth would be, yes, something is major wrong. “How’s everyone?”
He shrugged. “Fine.”
His gaze continued to burn a hole through her. Unable to bear the scrutiny any longer, she dropped the fork into the plate with a clatter. “Then what’s wrong?”
Ake sat up tall. His face sobered. “Nothing.”
She turned a hundred-watt glare on him. “Liar.”
He blinked several times, and a dimple appeared between his brows. “Just thinking how beautiful you were. And how lucky I am.”
Her hands stilled in her lap beneath the table as she studied him. This wasn’t a game for Ake. She’d forgotten. “Oh.”
“Sorry.”
His humble mutter crushed her heart, and she shut her eyes. She pressed her hands to either side of her plate and prayed for guidance. She’d managed to keep this tremendous secret to herself for a week. And for what reason? She opened her eyes, and collided with his dark, somber ones. “No. it’s me who should apologize. I’m feeling…guilty.”
She had to give the man credit. He continued eating to keep the atmosphere as relaxed as possible with a mean shrew sitting across from him. Nothing seemed to faze him.
“I’m pregnant.” Her frank announcement froze him into a concrete bust.
His eyes took a slow rove down to her abdomen hidden by the wooden table between them and then back up. A slow smile curved up the corner of his mouth. “You are?”
She pressed her mouth together to stem the tears jabbing steak knives on the back of her eyeballs and nodded miserably. He stood so abruptly, his chair smacked to the floor. Without righting it, he circled the table, and then squatted on the floor next to her.
With a grin he took her hand. “That’s great.”
She wanted to flip her lungs inside out with a smart aleck answer of “is it?” but she refrained somehow. Maybe it was the genuine joyful glint in his eye. Instead she nodded.
“Wait till I tell Hoge.” The grin slid from his face.
Stormi turned from him. Exactly.
He stood and rubbed the back of his neck. Without another word he returned to his seat, righted it, and sat down. She lifted her gaze to his. Plain as a twenty-foot billboard. Hope squashed. Initially, the marriage fiasco, then the adoption thing. Now this. She tossed the fork through the congealing goo of chicken and salsa.
Silence pressed in from every side. She shook her head slightly. Okay, this was their life. All their milestones and happy news would come as a funeral dirge because she’d screwed up her life, and thus snafued every bright spot in their marriage. She stuffed down the huge mass of disappointment and faked a bright answer. “Maybe you can tell him later.”
Like in nine months. Surprise! We’re pregnant. Or were. Now we have a child. Or maybe they’d have to keep that secret too. Hide him away in a basket like Moses. Ducking the poor child behind the couch when they came to visit. Shoving him in the closet and coughing over his whimpers. Despite the horrible circumstance hanging above their heads, a giggle popped out. That got Ake’s attention. A brow rose.
She gave a grin. Why not laugh about it? Would it make it any less true? “You’re Amram and I’m Jochebed. Just hiding a baby.”
His mouth quirked. “Reckon we’ll have to run to the desert?”
“How about the beach instead? There’s still sand there. Does that count?” More giggles popped from her before she realized he was beside her again, pulling her from her chair.
His arms wrapped around her. “It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. Even Hoge.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into her husband’s strength and tranquility. Never had she felt like this, wrapped in such care and adoration. Completely treasured by a man who tolerated and transformed her mean ugliness. A prayer lit her thoughts. God, this man is extraordinary. He’s suffered so much, yet he remains ever pure and full of hope. Thank you. Thank you for a man who embraces me no matter what. And together we laugh.
***
Ake shut the door to his truck and meandered across the street. Spring’s nose poked into the day, even at five a.m. The birds chirruped, preparing the heavens for the onslaught of light. The beginning of creation and the beginning of a new day. He inhaled a sharp breath of cool, moist air. It used to be his favorite time of day. Now, anytime with Stormi was his favorite.
He stared down at the boat docked at the pier. Hoge hustled around, the only one who’d arrived. Seemed he never beat his brother. At times he’d wondered if the man ever went home or spent the night rushing about the deck of the boat. He flicked his gaze to the Sea Wheat 2. Already it was rigged for sailing. Seldom did his brother not have the boats prepared.
He paused at the top of the wooden stairs, unwilling to alert Hoge of his presence. Ever since Stormi had stormed into his life, his brother’s disapproval had amped up. There had always been something simmering beneath the surface, something Ake had never been able to pinpoint. A space. A separation. A disappointment? Yes, probably a mixture of all three. Perhaps Stormi had hit it square in the center. Maybe Hoge had unresolved issues with his adoption.
And try as he might, whatever it was had never resolved. Now Ake’s marriage had only intensified Hoge’s disapproval. A grin tugged at his mouth as he remembered offering his brother his favorite shooter. Later, he’d traded bikes. Then he’d given over his favorite BB gun. Memories snagged in a fog of forgetfulness.
But Ake learned these sacrifices only appeased Hoge momentarily. He cast his eyes to the horizon beginning to lighten with the rise of the sun and prayed for his father, asked God to hug his mother, and lifted Hoge up in his discontent. He glanced to the stars, still visible during nautical twilight, reminding him of God’s ever-present direction in his life, whether he could see it or not. Then he stepped down the stairs.
Hoge caught sight of him and flung a meaty hand toward the street. “Grab the cooler from my truck.”
Ake nodded and turned. Well, at least he’d spoken to him today. Perhaps he’d be back to his normal duties instead of merely sorting fish and throwing them into the well. The truck loomed before him in the parking lot, and he grabbed the large chest from the bed. Full. Good. It could get warm by noon. He strode across the lot and paused as a lone car drew near. Delbert. Soon the Double Goose twins would arrive and the other crew members for the Sea Wheat 2 and off they’d go. His shoulders swelled in anticipation of being on the water.
Some twenty minutes later, both boats were rigged and ready for launch. Civil twilight edged in and soon the entire horizon would be bathed in the strength of solar brightness at sunrise. Hoge, t
he skipper in charge as always, stepped into the wheelhouse while Delbert, Heff, and Neff stepped up to untie the boat. The anchor winch cranked up the heavy weight that had stabilized the vessel through the night. Ake hunkered down on the side bench like a greenhorn and kicked a hunk of ice into the hold. It might be yet another long day.
Thankfully the waves were small this morning. Although the spring season nosed in, the wind at eleven knots had quite a bite to it. The forty-foot Sea Wheat 1 seemed eager to go out today as it sliced through the wind. Ake picked up the scoop and sent a few chunks of ice into one of the two fish boxes. He caught the sound of blades beating the air from a distance, and he searched the sky for the state troopers. They were out early checking the boats. The many regulations weighed down the fisherman, especially on groundfish.
He glanced at Hoke. Maybe that explained his lack of appreciation for the big catches. They had to be very careful in counting the pounds of fish they hauled in. His brother always took care of the licensing details, the federal regulations. Ake stepped up to the wheelhouse to find Hoke studying a map to determine where to crank out their gill net.
“Ready to drop?”
Hoke fixed his eyes on Ake. “You don’t see those other boats? We can’t be within a thousand feet, Dummy. Of course it isn’t time.”
So he was back to Dummy. Well, at least it smacked normal.
“You don’t realize how we fishermen are in dire straits. I got a crew to think of. What are those numbskulls gonna do if we go belly up because of too strict regulations?” He shook his head and then threw out his arm. “What are you thinking, Ake? You off and marry that floozy. You’re just giving me more stress to juggle.”
Ake shot a glance behind him to the stern where the three men waited near the winch in their bright orange rubber gear.
Hoge poked on the instrument panel to pull up the fish finder on the screen. “Now get out of here and let me do my job.”
Ake shrugged and ducked out. He knew Hoge had been in constant worry over the fish regulations and count. This was definitely no time to address the adoption or to pull out the new info on Stormi being pregnant. His brother already held the welfare of the entire crew on his shoulders.
The Secret Storm Page 22
