“You had a visitor earlier this morning. About an hour ago. I told her you weren’t in, and then I told her to fuck off before I had her arrested for trespassing.”
I blinked slowly. Goddammit. I’d wanted to break the news to the guys, but she just couldn’t fucking wait.
“Sara,” I said glumly, dropping my ass in the guest chair opposite my desk. I swept a hand down my face. “She showed up at my place on Friday. Accosted Harlow in the lobby.”
“What does she want?”
“To see Annie.” I decided not to disclose the rest of the conversation. No point consuming good oxygen with useless words. Last night wrapped in Harlow’s arms was more than enough to acknowledge where my heart lay, and it wasn’t with Sara.
“Fuck off,” Ryker said, his tone incredulous. “That woman’s got balls, I’ll give her that.”
“I’m late because I went to see my lawyer first thing this morning. Turns out if she wants to see Annie, I can’t stop her.”
Ryker’s eyes widened. “Bullshit,” he bit out. “He must have been smoking weed.”
I shook my head. “The law is very much weighted in her favor. The only thing I can do is try to keep it out of court and minimize her visits as much as I’m able.”
Ryker pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah, I don’t think He’ll help me either.”
“Do you want to take some time off? I’ll cover whatever you’ve got going on if you’d rather be at home.”
“No, I’m good. It’s better if I keep busy. Listen, though, if she comes here again and I’m not around, be civil. For my sake. If she’s riled up, it’ll only spur her on. You know what she’s like.”
Ryker snorted. “Unfortunately, yes, I do.” He stood, came around the desk, and clapped me on the shoulder. “Athena and I are here if you need anything. Anything.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate that.”
I waited until he’d shut the door behind him, and then I called Garen. The jungle drums would start beating soon, and I didn’t want my best friend to find out from anyone but me.
When Garen answered, I apprised him of the situation. He listened without interruption, but knowing him, he’d take it all in. Garen had an enviable memory, almost photographic. With most things, he could hear or see them once, and they stuck. No wonder the bastard had sailed through college, barely studying and still graduating summa cum laude. I should hate him. Instead, I loved him like a brother. More than a brother.
“Want me to put out a hit on her,” he said, only half joking.
Garen hadn’t liked Sara back in college. I distinctly remember on our wedding day, Garen had stood by my side and played his best man role to perfection, but I knew him almost as well as he knew himself. If he could have dragged me from the church to prevent me from making what he saw as the biggest mistake of my life, he would have. When I discovered her affair with our family doctor, I purposely kept it from Garen. When she walked out, I’d had no choice but to tell him the whole sorry tale. I’d dreaded it yet, as usual, he’d supported me through the entire mess without a single word of judgment. For Sara, though, his dislike turned into hatred and, instead of diminishing over the years, had only grown in intensity.
“No, but I do need another favor.”
“Name it,” Garen said.
“I can’t shake the feeling she has an ulterior motive, and getting back together with me and reigniting her relationship with Annie isn’t it.”
“Sure she hasn’t run out of cash?” Garen asked. “Sara always had expensive tastes.”
“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my forehead. God, I’m tired.
“Want me to see what I can uncover?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’d rather not bring in a private detective. I want to keep this to a small inner circle. I don’t trust her, and I can’t risk any investigation getting back to her somehow.”
“Leave it to me. If there’s dirt, I’ll find it.” He laughed. “What am I saying? It’s Sara. Of course there’s fucking dirt.”
Despite the pressure I felt with her untimely and unwelcome return, I grinned. Talking to Garen always put me in a good mood.
“Thanks, man. I owe you one.”
“You owe me nothing,” he said. “Anyway, I need to come down to New York soon and meet the hot nanny keeping your bed warm.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t call her that.”
“Why? I hear she’s very hot, and she’s a nanny. I’m just connecting words.”
“You are such a dick, and Ryker has a big mouth.”
“Wrong on the first count, right on the second. Although on this occasion I have to defend him. It was Elliot who said she was hot.”
“He needs to focus more on his own love life and less on mine,” I grunted.
Garen chuckled. “I’ll be in touch, buddy. Try not to worry.”
“Wait,” I said, remembering the other thing I needed to discuss. “When Sara and I first married, do you remember me spending huge swaths of time at work, never going home, and when I did, always on my phone, answering emails late into the night?”
“No,” he replied. “The complete opposite. Don’t get me wrong, we all had to put in a decent shift. Working nine-to-five went out the window when ROGUES exploded, but you’d skip lunch, work like a demon, just so you could get home in time for Annie’s bedtime routine. And while I saw the odd email after hours, you were normally an early morning guy. Why d’you ask?”
That was my recollection, too. I’d often wake early and go through my emails with Sara still asleep beside me, completely unaware. Why then, was her memory so different?
“Something Sara said. It doesn’t matter.”
“If Sara said it, then that makes me immediately suspicious. Lies fall too easily off that woman’s tongue.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I murmured absentmindedly. “Thanks, man. Speak soon.”
I hung up, opened my contacts, and stared for several minutes at Sara’s number. I flexed my jaw. Might as well get it over with.
She answered immediately. “Hi,” she said softly. “Thank you so much for calling.”
“Ryker said you came by.”
I predicted a gripe regarding his treatment of her. Instead, she giggled.
“He sure doesn’t like me, does he?”
“Do you blame him?”
A heavy sigh. “No. No, I don’t blame him. There is only one person to blame in all of this, and that’s me. I take full responsibility.”
Instead of finding reassurance in her words, the hackles rose on the back of my neck. This coy, contrite Sara wasn’t the Sara I knew, and I firmly believed people didn’t change their behavior, they simply learned to mask their true colors.
“About Annie,” I said.
Her breath hitched. “Yes?”
“I need to talk to her, tell her you’re back. She obviously won’t remember you, and if she gets in any way upset at the idea of seeing you, it’s not happening, got it?”
And fuck any court that gets in my way.
“Will you tell her I love her and that I’ve missed her so much?”
I almost choked on the little saliva I had left inside my mouth. My tongue felt twice its normal size, and I struggled to respond in a non-sarcastic manner.
“I’ll let you know how it goes,” I said.
“Oliver,” she called out as I went to hang up.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Sure,” I muttered, cutting the call.
I dropped my phone on my desk and let my head fall into my hands. Somehow, I had to find the words to reassure my little girl that her absent mother crashing back into her life wouldn’t be a disaster.
Which meant I had to lie.
A knock at my door brought my head up. Carly peered inside.
“Oliver, sorry to disturb. Your eleven o’clock is here.”
Pushing my dark thoughts away, and oddly grateful for the interru
ption, I gestured. “Send them in.”
For the rest of the day, I hardly had time to take a breath. As I sat in the back of my car and made my way home at six that night, I called Harlow to let her know my plans to tell Annie this evening. I could hear the uncertainty and fear clogging her voice, and I felt exactly the same, but Sara had backed me into a corner and, right now, I didn’t have anything to fight her with. I hoped Garen unearthed a pair of boxing gloves. At least then I’d have something with which to go into battle.
My legs were heavy as I trudged through the lobby and rode the elevator up to my home. I dropped my briefcase in the foyer and entered the living area. Annie and Harlow were in the kitchen, a place I often found them, cooking dinner. Or rather, Harlow was cooking dinner, and Annie was making a mess.
My heart squeezed. I loved this little girl more than my life, and I wanted nothing more than to keep her safe. Yet circumstances beyond my control forced me to risk her security and happiness on an unstable and unknown situation.
If Sara drew one tear from my baby, I’d fucking kill her.
“Daddy,” Annie called out the second she spotted me, up to her wrists in flour. “We’re making pizza.”
“Ooh, amazing.”
I kissed the top of her head, then brushed my lips over Harlow’s. “Hi,” I said softly, letting her know with my eyes how happy I was to see her. We still didn’t go over the top with displays of affection around Annie, our reticence far more to do with Harlow than me.
“Hey, you,” she said. “Go get changed before your suit gets covered in flour. Dinner won’t be long.”
I arched an eyebrow and cast a glance into Annie’s bowl. “Are you sure?”
She pointed to some ready-made dough resting in another bowl and grinned. “Positive.”
I adored how she let Annie spread her wings, make mistakes, try new things, yet always had a backup at the ready.
“Be right back,” I said, heading for the stairs.
By the time I returned wearing a pair of scruffy, comfortable jeans and a T-shirt, Harlow and Annie were putting the finishing touches on the pizza. I poured us both a glass of wine and a juice for Annie as Harlow slid the pizza onto the stone warming in the oven.
“It’ll be ready in about eight minutes,” she said, sending me a silent message that waiting until we’d eaten was the better choice.
“Okay.” I nodded to show her I understood.
I sliced the pizza while Harlow tossed the salad. We sat down to eat, and while I listened to Annie tell me about her day, a part of my mind was still trying to figure out how to start this difficult conversation.
By the time we sat on the couch after clearing away the dinner things, I still hadn’t found a solution, but when Annie reached for the remote, I stopped her. This couldn’t wait.
“I need to talk to you about something, munchkin.”
She immediately looked worried in that way kids did when they either thought they were in trouble but didn’t know what for, or they knew exactly what for and were wondering how they could lie their way out of the situation.
“What’s the matter, Daddy?”
“Nothing, baby girl. It’s just…”
I struggled to continue. Harlow pressed her palm to my back, the silent support worth more than a thousand words. I took a deep breath. “I had a visitor last Friday, someone who very much wants to see you.”
She brightened considerably when she realized I wasn’t about to chastise her for some unknown transgression. “Who, Daddy?”
I stroked her hair and tried to smile. I fell far short.
“Your mommy.”
Confusion swirled in her eyes, eyes that were a replica of my own navy-blue. “My mommy,” she whispered. “She’s here?” She shot a glance at the doorway as if expecting to see Sara standing right there.
“She’s in New York, yes,” I explained. “She’s desperate to see you, but I said no. Not until I had a chance to find out how you feel about that.”
Her eyes lowered, and she nibbled her lip, a tiny frown drawing in her brows. When she lifted her head, bewilderment swirled in her eyes. “What do you think, Daddy?”
The muscles around my heart squeezed so tightly, I couldn’t take a proper breath. My baby was worried about me. Not about herself. Seven years old, and faced with a momentous decision, and her first thoughts went to my feelings. Whatever my own frame of mind when it came to Sara, I couldn’t let my loathing of my ex filter through to Annie.
“I think she’s your mom, and she loves you, and I know that once you get to know her, that you’ll love her, too.”
Harlow’s fingers curled against my back, and as I shot a glance in her direction, she gave me the smallest nod, an approval that I’d said the right thing.
“Will you be there, Daddy?”
I hugged her to me, breathing in the scent of her hair, my chest filled with so much love for my amazing daughter. “Every step of the way, baby girl.”
“What time is it?”
I checked my watch, even though it was the fifth occasion Annie had asked me the same question in as many minutes. “Four-twenty.”
Annie bounced her foot and rubbed the hem of her dress—one she’d chosen especially for this occasion—between her thumb and forefinger. “What if she doesn’t like me?”
I briefly closed my eyes to suppress the sharp stab of pain in my chest. I hated Annie’s uncertainty, created through Sara’s abandonment of the one person a woman was supposed to love and protect above all others: her daughter.
“She loves you, Annie. How could she not?”
She peeked at me from under her lashes, her expression hesitant. “I hope so.”
My cell phone buzzed, and I checked the screen. A message from reception, asking me to approve an access code for a Sara Ellis.
“She’s here,” I said, wishing I had Harlow beside me. We’d jointly decided it’d be better if Harlow wasn’t here for their first visit, but I felt her absence keenly. She always knew the right thing to say, and I desperately missed her counsel. She’d hidden her own agony at being cut out of this unwelcome family reunion. I’d known how deeply it hurt her, though.
Annie jumped to her feet, as did I. Taking her hand, I walked to the foyer. The ding of the elevator signaled Sara’s arrival and, as much as I tried not to hold my breath, my body had other ideas.
The doors parted, and Sara stood there holding an enormous teddy bear and a helium balloon.
Over the top much?
I berated myself for such an uncharitable thought. Sara would be as nervous as we were, and as I’d made the decision to let her see Annie, I had to cut her some slack.
She stepped out of the elevator and crouched. “Hi, Annie,” she said. “I’m… your mommy.”
I felt the tension in Annie’s shoulders, but when Sara held out her arms, Annie didn’t hesitate, throwing herself into her mother’s embrace.
I wanted to be happy.
It was the worst day of my life.
26
Harlow
Two painful weeks.
Fourteen torturous days.
Three hundred and thirty-six agonizing hours.
That was how much time had elapsed since Sara burst back into our lives. Oliver professed to find it as difficult as I did, but with each passing day, his ex-wife burrowed her feet farther beneath the table, and I found myself sidelined with Oliver determined to play the long game. What that meant in reality was that he pandered to Sara, unwilling to rock the boat in case she chose to get the courts involved. He was doing exactly as his lawyer recommended.
Didn’t mean I had to like it.
Annie had accepted her mother’s return so easily. Kids had such forgiving natures, something we lost as we moved into adulthood. She didn’t question where her mother had been or why she’d left in the first place, or how she’d managed to breathe without hugging her baby every day. She simply basked in the happiness of having a mom again.
I wanted answer
s to all those questions and more. While Sara was nothing but charming to me, especially if in the presence of Oliver or Annie, I recalled with vivid clarity our first meeting when she’d shown me her true colors. All she was doing now was painting over them in bright pink and hoping I couldn’t see through to the murky brown beneath.
I conversed with the other nannies and the occasional mom while I waited for Annie after school, but I only half listened to their chatter, envious of their easy lives.
Still, no one had held a gun to my head and ordered me to fall in love with my boss.
“Hi, Harlow,” Annie cried, running to me, her braids flying behind her as she ran from the building. “Is Mommy coming over tonight?”
I suppressed a wince, pain darting through my chest. Annie wasn’t even aware of it, but in the last few days, I’d noticed how she’d begun to treat me more and more like a nanny now that her mom was back in her life. Those little things we used to do together were activities she now wanted to do with her mom. Like cycling in the park when the weather permitted, stroking the horses lined up in front of the Plaza as their owners waited to fleece unsuspecting tourists, eating pancakes at Bubby’s on a rainy Saturday. Or snuggling up on the sofa watching a Disney movie, hiding behind our hands when the wicked witch appeared on screen.
“I don’t know, sweet pea. We’ll have to ask your daddy.”
“Can we ask him now?” Annie pleaded, her big eyes—so like Oliver’s it physically hurt to look into them—beseeching me to agree.
“We’ll see,” I murmured, capturing her hand.
I strapped her into the car, and it set off, smoothly filtering into the traffic. Picking Annie up from school was the only time I ever used Oliver’s chauffeur-driven car without him, despite his insistence it was mine to use whenever I needed. It still didn’t feel right, although I couldn’t put my finger on precisely why.
Annie appeared to have forgotten her request to call Oliver, her excited chattering as she told me all about her day filling the silence. One of the great things about kids was their ability to talk and talk without requiring an answer beyond the occasional, “Mm-hmm”, or “Oh, that’s nice”.
Enraptured: A Billionaire Romance (The ROGUES Series Book 2) Page 16
